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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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 Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:03 pm
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Kisah Orang Gaji
Seorang suami telefon ke rumahnya ketika oustation , dan kebetulan yang
menjawab panggilan telefon adalah seorang orang gaji..
Suami : Hello, selamat petang. Puan ada?
OG : Selamat petang. Ya, encik boleh saya tolong?
Suami : Siapa ni?
OG : Saya orang gaji kat sini.
Suami : Baru, ke? Sebelum ni saya tak pernah guna orang gaji!
OG : Saya baru je kerja hari ni.
Suami : Oh, yeke. Puan ada kat rumah tak?
OG : Ada, encik, puan tengah tidur. Encik ni siapa?
Suami : Saya suaminya.
OG : La.. sekarang puan tidur dengan siapa pulak ni?
Suami : Apa? Ada lelaki lain yang tidur dengan puan ke?
OG : Ya, encik
Suami : Tak guna!!! (dll. sumpah seranah) Eh, engkau boleh tolong tak?
Nanti saya bagi upah RM1 juta .
OG : Boleh.. apa yang boleh saya tolong?
Suami : Masuk ke bilik kerja saya, ambil pistol dalam laci, lepas tu
tembak mereka berdua.
OG : Saya tembak puan dengan lelaki tu ke encik?
Suami : Ya.
OG : (termenung)
Suami : Macamana? Boleh tak? Kalau tidak saya tambahkan RM1juta lagi.
OG : Baik encik... saya lakukan sekarang.
Suami : Cepat!!! Saya tunggu!
Orang gaji itu kemudian mengambil pistol dan, bang..bang.. bang..
OG : Sudah, encik
Suami : Bagus, sekarang tutup hal ni, engkau buang pistol dalam kolam
renang belakang rumah.
OG : Kolam renang yang mana?
Suami : Yang di belakang rumah!
OG : Tak ada, encik. Di belakang rumah ni tak ada kolam renang!
Suami : Yeke ni?
OG : Iya!
Suami : Ni kan nombor 5097600?
OG : Bukan, encik. Sini 5907600.
Suami : Oh, sori. Salah nombor
haha lol biggrin
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:05 pm
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:09 pm
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Nama Unik
Ajoi mendapat kerja sebagai guru sandaran di sebuah sekolah di selatan tanah air.
Selepas memperkenalkan diri, dia menyemak nama murid-murid darjah 3 Jaya dan merasa agak pelik semasa membaca nama seorang murid, iaitu “W.TAUFIK WWW”.
Kemudian guru tersebut menanyakan perkara tersebut.
Cikgu Ajoi : “Cikgu nak tahu, siapa yang bernama W.TAUFIK WWW ?”.
Taufik : “Saya Cikgu…” (Taufik menjawab & berdiri).
Cikgu Ajoi : “Taufik, saya ingin tahu nama panjang kamu apa?”.
Taufik : “Maaf Cikgu Ajoi, panjang sangat..”.
Cikgu Ajoi : “Takpe-takpe Taufik,cakap jer..”.
Taufik : “Baik Cikgu , nama penuh saya ialah…Wabillahi TAUFIK-wal hidayah Wassalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh…”.
Cikgu Ajoi menarik nafas panjang dan terdiam.
Setelah dari darjah 3 Raya, Cikgu Ajoi kemudian masuk ke darjah 1 Cemerlang dan menyemak nama murid-murid.
Mata Cikgu Ajoi tertuju pada 1 nama yang unik iaitu “BKBKBDB DIAN”.
Kemudian Cikgu Ajoi menanyakan siapa muridnya yang mempunyai nama tersebut.
Berdirilah seorang murid dan menjawab “saya DIAN Cikgu…”.
Semasa Cikgu Ajoi melihat wajah murid itu seiras muka Taufik darjah 3 Raya.
Cikgu Ajoi : “Dian ada abang di sekolah ini?”.
Dian : “Ya Cikgu,nama dia TAUFIK.Abang saya darjah 3.”
Cikgu Ajoi : “Saya ingin tahu nama panjang Dian apa pulak?”.
Dian : “Baik Cikgu, nama panjang saya ialah…
Berakit-rakit Ke hulu Berenang-renang Ke tepian, Bersakit-sakit Dahulu Bersenang-senang kemu DIAN” biggrin mengong hahaha
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:12 pm
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:15 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:19 pm
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love you like a love song - selena gomez
It's been said and done, every beautiful thought's been already sung and I guess right now, here's another one
So your melody will play on and on with the best of 'em
You are beautiful like a dream come alive, incredible
A centerfold miracle, lyrical. You saved my life again and I want you to know baby.
Chorus
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
Constantly, boy, you play through my mind like a symphony.
There's no way to describe what you do to me.
You just do to me, what you do and it feels like I've been rescued, I've been set free
I am hypnotized by your destiny
You are magical, lyrical, beautiful, you are and I want you to know, baby
Chorus:
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
Bridge:
No one compares, you stand alone to every record I own.
Music to my heart, that's what you are.
A song that goes on and on
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
I, I love you like a love song, baby(3x)
Love you
Like a love song
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:21 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:23 pm
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:26 pm
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the cure - lovesong
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am home again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am whole again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am young again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am fun again.
However far away,
I will always love you.
However long I stay,
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you;
I will always love you.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am free again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am clean again.
However far away,
I will always love you.
However long I stay,
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you;
I will always love you.
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:33 pm
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the humpty dance - digital underground
All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny
but yo I'm makin' money see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.
I like to rhyme,
I like my beats funky,
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
and I even got my own dance
{Chorus:}
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Verse Two:
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.
{Chorus}
Breakdown:
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out
Verse Three:
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.
{Chorus}
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Let's get stoopid!
{Chorus}
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
Outro:
Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and humptiness forever
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:35 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:39 pm
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gavin degraw - not over you
Dreams, that's where I have to go
To see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio
Hope, hope there's a conversation
We both admit we had it good
But until then it's alienation, I know
That much is understood
And I realize
[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you
Damn, damn girl, you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
Took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent
I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me
I turn around and I'm back in the game
Even better than the old me
But I'm not even close without you
[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you
And if I had the chance to renew
You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do
I could get back on the right track
But only if you'd be convinced
So until then...
[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you
Not over you
Not over you
Not over you
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 3:25 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:57 pm
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 11:34 pm
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Reply
