cutting... what you think about it

[Maggoty Anne]

I knew a lot of "emo" kids, who wore their scars like badges and bragged about their hospitalizations for suicide attempts. I'm not going to talk about that.

I never cut for the normal reasons. I have Tourette's syndrome, a disease which is commonly lampooned as causing spontaneous swearing and other hilarious disabilities. What no one seems to know about it is that it causes self injurious behavior in about a third of the people who have it. I remember when I started presenting with it, the first symptoms I had were banging my head against walls, cutting myself and other objects, trying to strangle myself with my bare hands in the middle of Wal-Mart,which I thought would kill me (and this is when I was eight.) I hid shards of broken mirrors in my bedroom because my mother locked up all our knives. She wouldn't let me have scissors. I was suicidal at age 9. I was hospitalized after I got in trouble for scratching my forearm over and over again with a thumbtack until it cut in, In the middle of math class, at age 11. I don't remember much else from that period in my life.

My freshman year of high school I was hospitalized again, for repeatedly attempting to gouge my right eye out. My Tourette's had been much better with medication, but I was under a lot of stress that winter. Fortunately I didn't succeed. The eye is a very resilient organ, and I didn't try to use a knife.  

[bittersweet world girl]

I think it's sad, cause I remember I was at school,
and because of like what I was wearing they started calling me "emo"
and then these girls were talking next to me and over heard and where like"OMG!? You cut yourself?"
And I got soo mad cause they think thats what being "emo" is
, then I feel so sorry for there brain mentality.
:3

 

[Maggoty Anne]

Vampyre_Angel_Kiss

It's like a drug, pulling you in and dragging you down,in a way. But deadlier in the sense it can kill much faster than drugs... it's definitely something you have to be careful with.

Cutting isn't deadlier than drugs....

Even people who try to kill themselves that way rarely succeed. It can kill you, but it's very unlikely even if you're trying. I know it's an addictive coping method, but it isn't like heroin.  

[Xahmen]

Real Goths cut.  

[Maggoty Anne]

Zahmen II

Real Goths cut.

No, real Goths sack Rome.  

[Rellik San]

Maggoty Anne

Zahmen II

Real Goths cut.

No, real Goths sack Rome.

Only east german visigoths though, other goths just mope around in droves, with their shovels, attacking the Iron Heade army.  

[the_forgotten_thought]

i cut a grand total of twice in my life (neither times did i do it in obvious places.) i was stuck in this middle ground while i fought inside myself. one part of me would be screaming that i was stupid and did everything wrong and that everyone hated me for a good reason; the other part of me was saying that thinking like that was stupid, there's no reason for everyone to hate me, why do i hate myself; then it would go back to the angry voice saying i was worthless and stupid, blah blah blah. i wanted to hurt myself cuz i felt i didn't deserve to feel good. i wanted to exchange the inner pain for physical pain; when you get a paper cut but then someone kicks you, your paper cut stops hurting. twisted philosophy, i guess.

anyways, i have two friends that are cutters. one does it because her life is terrible and she needs a release. she tries to hide it as best as she can, but i still always notice and try to help her. then i have the friend who plays the "pity me" act. she cuts her wrists, talks about it, says she's crying all day long, acts as if everything in the world is so terrible, complains that her sister or her mom are always beating her. but none of it's true. she has no bruises. her sister loves her. her eyeliner is always perfect even though she was "crying" last period. she just wants attention. i can't stand that.