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 Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:33 pm
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When Izzy had stopped talking, Akihiko smiled very softly, keeping his arms around the other man's waist as they lay together. "You needed to rest, Ruki. No one would fault you for sleeping for a solid month after everything. Really. However..." the musician frowned slightly, "I'll let ojisan know about Nezumi. God that p***k always bothers me... he's a nosy b*****d that doesn't understand that his job is HIS star. He used to poke around the studio when I was recording..." laughing softly, Narcissus placed a gentle kiss to Izzy's forehead. "I think he wanted to be my manager then got pissed when he was assigned Chiyou-kun... so he kept pestering me. People like him... made me hate the idea of a manager... And then... well... then you caught my attention." he spoke, moving a few stray strands of hair out of Izzy's eyes.
It was time, however, to address a more pressing concern of Narcissus'...
"Ruki... is the psychologist helping?" Akihiko asked softly, wondering about the megane-clad man's thoughts on the matter. "If he isn't we can find you another one."
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:40 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:03 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:16 am
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 3:11 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:21 am
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Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do------------------------------------------------}:- 
SHOU
No escaping when I start .traeh ruoy nwo I ni m'I ecnO
Charity Event - Back Stage
Every other star might have been out fooling around but not Shou. He had slept at in a Hotel room only because Hamu-kun pushed him into a car and told the driver to go. Yes, Shou might have gotten little sleep otherwise. However, once he was in the soft American style bed he passed out cold.
But before he knew it, the edge of morning came in the form of the wake up call he had managed to arrange. Dragging himself out of bed, he walked into the shower, bumping into the wall once as he did. Shou wasn't quite awake.
The long steamy shower followed by the perfumed soak in a deep bath finally woke the star up. But as usual, he was left pondering dreams that had no meaning and then, as he pulled himself out of the tub. He stared at himself for a long time in the mirror.
Sometimes he looked like a completely different person when he was without all the makeup, extensions, and color. It was hard to describe. But he stared at that face in the mirror feeling almost as if he didn't know the person there.
Such a strange feeling, but one he could easily shove aside as soon as he flicked on the big screen tv that hung on the wall. The Entertainment channel was blaring the news about the Charity event and Shou just smiled as he listened to their hopeful expectations.
He didn't stay too long to hear every report. He still had so much to do and no time for his own makeup so he opened the bag that Hamu-kun conveniently sent with him and pulled out a mask he could slip over his face. The price of a super star that clouded his world in fantasy and mystery. No one ever knew him...the real him. But did he really know himself? Good question.
When he reached the Event site it was early enough that hardly anyone had arrived it seemed except Yammi-san, who was smoking a cigarette mixed with nomming on a rice ball. "I had a feeling you were going to be here early Shou-san. I wanted to get started early so Narcissus-san doesn't have anything when he gets here...you know?"
"Yes, I understand. Yamada-san will be here later and I know Jaz-san was going to prep a few things at the Warehouse before coming here. You ready for this tonight? Been awhile since your group has been on the big stage."
Yammi smirked and took a drag from his cigarette. "It's good. Can't believe Izzy Lucky got us hooked up with this deal. Ishi-san and my group go way back. But working with Narcissus-san has pulled our music to another level and I think we give a new edgy feeling to his music. It's got a good vibe to it. At least, I think so." He paused and then looked up at the mask. "Never out of character eh?
"Never." Shou laughed, "It wouldn't be magic if you knew who was behind the curtain now would it?"
"Alright, Oz. I'll make sure when I make a wish, I bring the damn witch's broom with me first." Yammi said with a snarky come back.
It was then the two of them walked into the back stage...
-:{------------------------------------------------Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here For Your Entertainment |
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:18 pm
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"I don't know... I've thrown lattes at people before." Akihiko replied, smiling very slightly at the image of Izzy 'ducking and covering' from a flying espresso.
When he talked about an ice coffee though, the musician vowed to pick his manager up one on the way to the concert. It would certainly make his throat feel a little better.
But when the topic changed... when Izzy started worrying about him...
"Dame..." Narcissus whispered, pulling the other man back enough to look into his eyes. "I... I wasn't talking about what happened recently to me, Ruki. I... I know what it feels like..." he sighed softly, glad when Izzy nestled closer against him. Carefully, Akihiko ran his fingers through his manager's hair. "You tried to get away... you screamed and you fought but nothing worked... it only turned them on more, didn't it?" saying these things strangely hurt, in some odd part of the musician's soul... Hurt for Izzy... Hurt for himself...
Maybe Michi was right... the young Koyasu couldn't help but think before continuing.
"I know forcing you to remember hurts, Ruki... But you have to face your demons... because otherwise you'll become a captive to your fear next." placing a gentle kiss to the top of his manager's forehead, Akihiko frowned. "I don't want to see you afraid, Ruki... Not the confident man I met face-to-face in a ninja cafe... We'll catch who did this... though... regrettably, I was never able to see his face..."
~ ~ ~
"Ruining a perfectly good latte!" he poked at Akihiko just a little. "Just one thing I won't be buying you. So I don't get soaked!" The thoughts made him smile a bit more as he cuddled there.
Izzy nodded in answer to that question slowly while his face grew more pale as he spoke, "It...only made him more excited. If I struggled, if I...cried out. He enjoyed being cruel." His rosy lips quivered with fear as he clenched at Aki's robe. "He....got angry and... I...begged him...to stop..." His red eyes started to become a river of tears as he spoke. It was so difficult for him to talk about this horrific incident.
"It hurt so much." he cried loudly and tucked his wet face into the young Koyasu's chest. He didn't want to be in that space again. His fearful mind seeing images play out like a bad dream. "Then, when...I begged it to be him rather than that..... he....did...and....pressed his arm down on my throat....and and...he....I couldn't....breath. I couldn't get away...." Shrinking more and more he wanted to hide in Aki's robe; wanted to escape that nightmare. Wanted to be human again.
~ ~ ~
Blue eyes closed as Akihiko listened to his manager speak.
Oh how he knew those fears...
"He was trying to get off on your pain." the young Koyasu whispered. "No doubt he wanted you to get off too out of fear or an asphyxiated arousal... when you didn't, he got tired of you."
Having Izzy so close, clinging to him, seeking comfort and safety in him... it was somehow relaxing.
And distracting.
Which was good, considering ever since Narcissus had been awake, he'd been thinking about drugs again.
Even if Michi hadn't noticed it yet.
"He got angry because you didn't want to play his game... like a child, he threw a fit." Akihiko continued, remembering how his own recent experience had shown that their attacker enjoyed asphyxiating his victims.
~ ~ ~
"I guess...he was." It was strange to hear Koy understand him so easily. But considering what Akihiko had gone through maybe not. "When I couldn't breath, I couldn't think straight. I don't remember what happened for awhile then I was in a car and...they were..." he didn't finish that sentence because he felt so dirty. His body shook as he clung to Akihiko and wouldn't stop for awhile.
But then he took a breath, "I tried not to play his game. He wore a mask but had very long dark hair because he had pulled it back. His body though, it was toned...he was in good shape and he wore black. I think he had dark eyes because with the mask that area was dark too. He was...arrogant. But..but...when they captured me, they threw me in a limo not a normal sedan. It wasn't a rented limo but I didn't get the license number or if I did...I don't remember it." He frowned at his own lack of knowledge but then realized he was talking a little more than he had before. And...each time he did it didn't hurt nearly as much as before.
Was this because he felt safe? He closed his eyes and took a breath just laying there a moment listening to the heart in Akihiko's chest.
~ ~ ~
As Izzy shook in fear, the young Koyasu gently rubbed the man's back, holding him close as he shivered. "But they let you go, Ruki..." Akihiko whispered. "They let you go and we found you... they gave you back to me, to us..." he quickly corrected himself.
But then the megane-clad man spoke of what his attacker looked like... how he acted...
"A limo?" Narcissus whispered, fully intending to reveal this information to Hiroki later. "Was he... well it sounds stupid to ask if he was crazy but, did something really seem off about him? Like he would be somewhere he wasn't... mentally?"
There were few people with limos in Japan... fewer still with long dark hair and dark eyes... who were mentally unstable.
But it couldn't be that easy...
Could it?
~ ~ ~
"I know..." he answered. God forbid he would never have been back here in Akihiko's arms. "I got lucky." He did hear that correction but he knew what the man really meant. And he cherished the words that never seemed to come out fully but in bits and pieces.
"The masked man? He...he....was...umm...he didn't seem crazy...he threatened me a lot. He liked putting me in pain." he answered not wanting to remember that all but knowing that Akihiko just was trying to help. But then, a thought came to mind, a flash of a memory which made his eyes widen, "I remember I lied to him about my name at first when he asked me...but then he decided to call me by my real name! He knew who I was... I'm sure of it." That part scared him when he had been in the middle of the nightmare...and he had forgotten until Aki had started questioning him.
~ ~ ~
Akihiko nodded, "That only helps prove my theory that he was hired by Matsumoto Izo..." the man whispered, thinking over everything Izzy was telling him.
Yes... he'd have to tell Hiroki after the concert.
"The man who kidnapped me said he was a fan... but he wasn't all there. Like, he was imagining I was someone else, if you could believe that." to the narcissistic man... who would want to pretend he was another person!? "I think they're the same... because he knew so many things about your injuries... and Ohayou has kept this such a deep secret that it would have been impossible for him to find out if he hadn't been there."
Of course, Narcissus left out the fact that he'd been strangled nearly to the point of passing out...
Sighing, the musician kissed the top of Izzy's head once more, just glad that the man had opened up to him.
"Does it feel better? Letting some of these fears out?"
~ ~ ~
"Matsumoto Izo?" Ruki questioned because he didn't know anything about what Akihiko was talking about. No one had told him any theories about his attackers. At least none he could remember. But, Matusmoto Izo was a well known name to him considering he had sent that check for more money than Izzy made in many years. He was a music mogul, who was the head of SMASH. Ruki looked up at Akihiko with confusion on his face and wasn't sure what questions to ask.
"I don't remember at any time, my attacker saying I was someone else. He knew who I was. But, you might be right if he knew that much." he answered then paused for a moment. That was a good question but the more he thought, the more he agreed. "Yes, I..I think...so. It's so much easier to talk to you....than the doctor." He couldn't explain why it felt better inside but there was a little less weight. "But...what about you....What are you feeling? You...you went through something similar....Akihiko."
~ ~ ~
"Remember when I turned down Matsumoto Izo?" Akihiko asked softly, still feeling guilty over it. "Hiroki and I both think that... well that what happened to you was retaliation for that. I think he burned down your apartment, or rather paid someone to, and hired this mysterious rapist. But..." the musician smiled very slightly. "You don't have to worry about him coming after you ever again. If he does... well... next time I see him, I won't hesitate to pull the trigger."
But Izzy's next question...
How WAS Narcissus feeling?
Really?
Truthfully?
"I'm fine, Ruki. This wasn't the first time this has happened to me, hopefully it'll be the last. I'm... well I'd hate to say 'used to it' but really... I can't describe it. I'm not afraid of it..."
What he was afraid of were the ******** drugs and the addiction he felt.
Thankfully, holding Izzy like this, talking to him, was keeping his mind off it.
~ ~ ~
Ruki barely remembered what Akihiko was talking about but he knew something had happened. "You think he did all this because you refused to work with him?Huh" his voice trembled as he spoke. That disturbed Ruki in so many ways. He had lost EVERYTHING! It wasn't just his body but his memories...his childhood memories....his things...memories of his young stars...his yaoi. All that made his little apartment a piece of himself. GONE. He couldn't get any of that back!
His eyes watered because he really was angry but how could he confront Matsumoto Izo if he had no proof! All that just because Aki wouldn't sign up with that label!!! His fists clenched and tapped Aki's chest so obviously angry and not sure what to do about the feelings that swelled within.
But then he looked up at Aki as the man started to answer his question. "You're used to....it?" That didn't seem right in Ruki's mind. But then he asked, "I know you were given drugs...heroin and cocaine. How...how are you doing now? I mean...I'm not an idiot. Chiyou was my star once. I....know some things...you just don't walk away." Yes, he was concerned. He still had manager's instincts somewhere in his head. Even if his more gentle side was thoroughly wanting for snuggles.
~ ~ ~
"I think he did it," Narcissus spoke, taking Izzy's angry fist in his hand and kissing the knuckles. "To show me that I'm not as ******** important as I think I am..." sighing, he shook his head. "Or something like that... he's a b*****d who needs to be dealt with."
But then Izzy was asking those damn questions again, and the blue gaze of the musician hardened just a tiny bit.
Not at his manager, but at the situation.
"Yes, I'm used to it." he replied, though didn't exactly go into details. "As for the drugs... no... you don't just walk away from it. s**t, I had to have Michi-kun do me last night just to keep me from scratching my own skin off the want was so bad."
Okay, so he decided to be honest with the man. Especially since Izzy had been so honest with him already.
"Every second when there's silence... every moment when I'm not doing something... I want it. Those moments just keep adding up and eventually, I start going a little crazy..."
~ ~ ~
Izzy could tell...he knew there was a bit Akihiko wasn't telling him with just that certain gleam in the man's eyes. Yes, there was something else going on. And then, Akihiko told him. Inside, Izzy knew how tough it was. He had been there not on drugs but trying to help Chiyou-kun get off them. He hadn't done as well as he had hoped but...It seemed that Chiyou was doing better.
"I'll help you any way I can, Akihiko" he said softly with a slightly stressed tone. Concern was a word that wasn't quite big enough to cover how Izzy worried about the man and this problem. "Just tell me what I can do....to help you." he leaned in and kissed Akhiko's chin then lips then....then his forehead. "I want you to get through this and I know that you've got the will to beat it." His body was so close that he could feel everything through that silk robe...so warm. "I really care about you, Akihiko. I really do. Just let me help in some way."
~ ~ ~
"You can't help me right now, Ruki." Akihiko replied, closing his eyes as he lay there.
Those kisses... they were so soft... so gentle...
"Later... when you're all healed up... because honestly, the only thing that's stopped it so far was sex... and right now, that's something you can't do."
Physically or mentally, it seemed.
Sighing, the musician wondered if Izzy would ever be able to have sex again... of course there was always the BoS... which would help them both...
And yet, the young Koyasu had never been a fan of 'doing it on his own' which he would have to do if he used the small bottle...
Unless...
Blue eyes opened and he smiled slightly, "Well... there is a way you could help me when I need it... I'm fine right now, I think..." that was to be debated. "I bought this small bottle from Michi... the stuff is wonderful... makes every touch to any part of your body feel sensual... if I drank a tiny bit of it... maybe we could just be together and it would help a little? Worst comes to worst I'll just do it myself."
~ ~ ~
"My...insides are mostly healed from what the doctor said at the follow up. But my bruises have been slower because advanced medicine isn't as useful on these things." he answered very unsure of what to think about the idea of sex and pleasures. They brought uncomfortable thoughts to his mind and that tend to make him not want to try. But he also wanted to be with Akihiko and well he doubted the man would be happy if they couldn't even have a little fun.
But then, Aki told him about something Michi had given him. And his eyes did hold a more hopeful gaze. "Would that help you right now?" he asked completely innocent of what the stuff could be but he doubted that Michi would have given Aki anything harmful. What little he did know....
~ ~ ~
"Well yeah, I guess..." Akihiko replied with a questioning look to his manager. "I'm not really feeling the need but, the longer I can stave it off before the show, the better I suppose."
He had left it in his bag, which was in the bathroom.
"Look, don't push yourself yet, Izzy. Your bruises need to heal... mentally and physically." the musician smiled softly. "Just because I can't have you begging me for more on occasion, doesn't mean you're any less important."
~ ~ ~
"I know..I need time. I know I'm...not ready. You treated me so well...Thank you." Izzy smiled and cuddled a bit more. Aki was so gentle with him that he felt his heart warm up so much inside. He really wanted to tell Akihiko how he felt. Was this the right moment?
For a moment, he debated saying nothing at all. Would he be rejected? That was always his fear on top of all these other fears. But still
Well, he had been trying to get the courage up before all this happened. And now, well what if something worse happened later and he never had said a word. That..that was something he couldn't let happen. If he didn't say it now...he should just hold his peace forever. But...Ruki didn't want that. So taking a small breath that sounded like a squeak, he looked up at those wonderful blues that watched over him. That smile on the man's face...so tender.
"There's something...I've wanted to say to you...." he finally said slowly and sincerely, "I'm not sure what you will think of me afterwards, but....I wanted to tell you... that....I...Love you." There, he got it out of his mouth even if he almost balked at the end. At this moment, he wondered if he had been a courageous fool...but he would certainly know in a few moments.
~ ~ ~
At first, that blue gaze hardened considerably, and it seemed that the mask of Narcissus was going to fit itself in place once more.
But then Akihiko simply looked away.
Not only that, but he stood up from the bed and paced, never once looking at Izzy.
What the hell was he going to say?! Izzy had just confessed love!
"A lot of people have told me they loved me, Ruki." Akihiko eventually said, his words calm. "I've never believed any of them. Not family nor friends nor lovers... not a single one. Demo..." blue eyes moved to focus on the manager laying on his bed. "I can't dismiss your confession like I can theirs... I..." he shook his head before taking in a deep breath. "After the concert... Gomen nasai, Ruki... but I can't think about that right now. It... it's a little too much to take in just before I perform..."
He wanted his head to be in the right place, not pondering over his manager's love confession.
~ ~ ~
Izzy felt the change and watched the turn of his head. It was like a door closing. Oh god, he had made a mistake...didn't he! Said something that was Taboo...broken their sacred trust...the unsaid sharing that they had. Was that all over now? Would he end up...alone. Dread consumed him and thoughts shattered like glass recklessly around his mind. He should have kept his mouth shut.
Quickly the more managerial aspect of himself stepped up to the plate and he sat up quickly as Akihiko stepped away. He had to think of something to say; something that wouldn't cheapen the moment but save face both ways. He couldn't be stupid Ruki love smitten on his star. Akihiko had to get back to work! He had to get back to work. "Ah...you're right. You've a show to do. That was my fault. I've been a little weak lately and sometimes I say things when I'm feeling vulnerable...you know? You'd think I weren't able to take care of myself at times."
"You're care for me these days has meant everything to me and I never want you to feel uncomfortable with me. That's the last thing I would ever want." He brushed down his suit coat much like he used to and pushed his megane back up his nose then smiled, "I am thankful that we've become friends, Akihiko. Now, I should let you get dressed. God's choir will be a bit frustrated if the Devil himself fails to show at his appointed cue." His smiled never failed his face - it wouldn't dare.
A manager - that was what he was, and would be till the end. Maybe it wasn't a rejection but...as a manager, he shouldn't have done that. God, what was he thinking. No he hadn't been thinking at all. Walking to the door, he unlocked it carefully and then smiled back at Akhiko, "You'll make them all wish they could spend their lives....in Hell." Backing out, he closed the door. How he wished he could spend his life in...Hell.
Heart pounding with his chest, he made his way back to the stairs and climbed to the light.
~ ~ ~
He didn't say a word. After all, Izzy was saying everything that needed to be said, wasn't he?
But the longer Akihiko stood there... the longer he listened to his manager lie... the angrier he got.
Thus, by the time Izzy had left, closing the door behind him, the musician was practically livid.
As such... he grabbed a vase from his dresser and threw it as hard as he could at the wall.
Glass shattered everywhere, somehow not damaging the paint job or the wall, as the young Koyasu let his frustrations out on the furniture.
"Uncomfortable? God damn it, Ruki.... why did you have to say something like that now of all times?!" he vented, pissed both at Izzy Lucky... and at himself.
It took a while... probably a while five, ten minutes, before Narcissus had calmed down enough to exit his room, still clad in that red bath robe. Ascending the stairs quickly, the musician headed directly for Izzy's bedroom. Once arriving, he flung open the door, stepped in, then closed it behind him.
"What the hell was that about?" Akihiko asked, trying to keep his frustrated emotions out of his voice. "What do you want me to do, Ruki? Try and parcel out my feelings for you before I go on stage? I can't DO that. Not rationally or logically or even properly!" sighing, Narcissus unconsciously wrapped his arms around his waist. "You act like I flat out rejected you. I just need time to think this through, and I don't exactly have the time right now, so don't lie to me and say things like you've 'been a little weak lately' because, while that's true, emotionally... that's bull and you know it."
~ ~ ~
Izzy had come upstairs with mixed emotions. He had hoped he would give his star the space he needed. And he hoped that he could figure out what in the world to do with his life. Sometimes it was impossible to do the right thing. Confessing wasn't easy...and god he wished he had better timing. But even so, with what Akihiko said he doubted that the man felt the same way. Didn't people usually know when they loved someone...or not? He thought he might have read the signs right in Akihiko, but that reaction could have meant anything from - I'll tell you no when I figure out a way not to hurt you to...I like you but not in that way....to....any amount of rejections. Akihiko was a playboy...never been in love.
God he felt stupid. Starting at the mirror as he leaned with both hands on the dresser, he couldn't even think of words to say to himself. Although this time, he tried very hard not to cry or let his emotions get the better of him. He was stronger than that...really. Usually something would come up -some word would answer him...but right now...That was when the door flung open wide.
Turning quickly, he backed up against the dresser then hear Akihiko's voice and the words which weren't filled with anger but a very tangible emotion. He listened to each word and then looked down to the floor. Feeling every bit as awkward as a child. Screwing up one more time it seemed without meaning to. "I just wanted to give you space...I didn't want you uncomfortable. It's hard to tell what you feel sometimes when you go from one mood to the next. I'd rather keep this small bit of your world than lose it all. I've already lost....so many...things."
No no...he didn't want to cry about his apartment...his body, the assault or everything else that had gone so horribly wrong. "I know you need to do a show. And...and...I know you didn't flat out reject me. I'm just taking things...harder than...I would on a normal day. You've got....Narcissus....and I've got work when I cannot find...a sense of security. I'll let you have time...please...I just...just was trying to help. Let you be...Narcissus and me...be a manager. So you could work. " His fingers tightened on the desk he was using for support while trying to keep everything together.
~ ~ ~
Guilty...
Akihiko suddenly felt very guilty, his grip on his waist tightening as he tried to play down those feelings.
"I know what you were doing by lying, I'm not an idiot." the musician replied, softening his voice so as not to continue stressed out his manager. "You were expressing yourself. I don't fault you for that. You just need to understand that I care about you, Ruki. A lot. But I can't tell you it's love... because honestly... I don't know what real love is."
Turning away, the young Koyasu used his hair to hide his expression as he spoke once more. "After the concert... I'll give you my answer, Ruki. Yakusouku."
~ ~ ~
"Wakatta..." he answered and nodded slowly. He couldn't say much more because the matter had to be left in Akihiko's hands now. At least, he knew that the man cared. If it wasn't love, well, there wasn't much Ruki would be able to do about that. He'd have to pick himself up - make a new life. Yes, he really did need a new life no matter what happened. He needed a place to live, a new place to call home. Something tangible and real -his own furniture.
It was odd to think of furniture at a time like this but he really wanted a space that was 'his'. Someplace he could feel welcome every day. That would give him security again. Akihiko's home wasn't his home...might never be his home. But at least, there was a promise of an answer amidst these trials by fire.
"I know..." he answered softly then continued trying to move them both away from an obviously awkward subject, "Is there anything I can do for you at the show."
~ ~ ~
"You can stay in your seat and watch." Narcissus spoke honestly, looking back toward Izzy once more. "I don't want you backstage. I want you enjoying the show... relaxing... and watching your stars shine."
A slight smirk appeared on the man's face and he nodded toward his manager.
"Afterward... I expect you backstage with Nakai-kun and myself."
He was glad that Izzy was diverging the subject...
~ ~ ~
"Just watch?" Oh my that was going to be something he had never done before. How!?! "I've...never done that before." he admitted with a rather surprised look upon his face. "Ok...but...but...are you sure?" His curious face had that most mystified look upon it. He didn't know what he'd do with himself in a chair in the audience!
His manager self didn't want to just sit...but Ruki, well a little piece of him thought...How would it look to just see the view of his stars on stage in front of him...not to the side or in the back, or on a TV screen afterwards. He'd be able to for the first time, see what it was like just to take in the show. He never had seen Narcissus live like that. Never seen Nakai live like that.
~ ~ ~
"I'm sure." Akihiko replied, turning toward Izzy fully now as he spoke.
The change in topic had certainly made his uneasiness dissipate for the most part.
"Every manager should see their stars perform live. Otherwise, they won't know where to properly help them in the future."
It made sense...
If something seemed off in Narcissus' performance, Izzy could comment on it and thus help better the man's performances.
Simple logic.
"Besides, you shouldn't be worrying yourself right now over every little detail." he smirked slightly. "Just enjoy the show. The entire show. Because you'll get to see Shou and Chiyou perform too."
~ ~ ~
"Alright...if you think it's ok." He really wasn't sure what to think of it all then suddenly a bright smile came to his lips for a moment and curiosity struck. "Can I still get a good seat for the performance? I remember when I was a kid I never could afford to get good seats to shows. I always ended up in the nose bleed sections."
Then there was a bit of laughter from his lips when a fond memory did strike him, " But...one time with my youngest star, Mika...she was afraid on her first big performance. I was right beside the stage that night rather than in back. She was so cute up there making sure I was still in my spot in between songs."
He seemed much more relaxed now that the conversation had totally drifted away from their personal world back to what both of them were used to. "Alright...I'll enjoy the show, tonight. Can't even imagine what your performance will be like on stage with Shou. Has he been every thing you thought he would be? I hear he's impossible to manage, even hates managers. What has he been like to work with???"
Lots of curious questions poured out of him like a faucet because he really did enjoy the music scene and his life in it. "Have Jaz-san and Yammi-san made things easier for you too??" Since he hadn't been able to be there much since his 'injuries' he could only hope that Narcissus was mixing well with the former Indie crew he had been fond of.
Then, he squeaked with his voice still a little rough, "Oh my...I should be letting you get ready for tonight rather than being your biggest fan!" He blushed for a moment as he looked at Akihiko, "Go go...before I become a paparazzi."
~ ~ ~
"Shou-san HATES managers." Akihiko spoke, moving over to the desk and sitting on the top comfortably. "But I have a feeling he wouldn't hate you if he met you... he simple doesn't like to be told what to do." the musician smiled fondly. "Sounds like me, ne?"
Sighing, Narcissus nodded. "You'll get a front row seat, Ruki. Though, you'll have to forgive me if I don't pay attention to you while on stage. I tend to get a bit lost to everything except the stage most of the time. And yes yes... Jaz-san and Yammi-san have been very helpful. They stepped up their work when I was in the hospital... were completely prepared to help Shou turn this little thing into a one man show if they had to. I... admire that, strangely."
Standing once more, Akihiko walked over to Izzy and put a hand on the top of his manager's head. "My biggest fan... and yet you've never seen me perform live." he made a mock 'tsking' sound before smiling. "After tonight, THEN you can call yourself my biggest fan, ne?"
~ ~ ~
"So that bad...Uh? Mm...guess that's why he doesn't change Labels. It does sound like you." Izzy answered thoughtfully. "But I've heard he has an assistant, who isn't part of SMASH's payroll. I read that in one of the Arena37 magazines." He smiled a bit more, "You think so? I'm still a manager."
"Really?" His eyes sparkled like a kid for a moment making him even a bit more adorable. "Oh well if you did start paying attention only to me while on stage, you'd embarrass me horrible and I'd be the envy of all your fan girls. Let's not do that...Ok? But at least your fans are not Shou's fans. I saw an interview with the Charity director asking Shou's fans to be...good when they come to the Event. I also heard that the last of the lottery tickets were given out today via email. So the show is officially sold out."
He sighed in relief when Akihiko spoke, "I'm glad my old friends and teammates were able to help pull this off with you. May not be Ohayou but...old Indie had some great people. It's really too bad that things went as they did. After all is done, are you going to keep them on?" He was hopeful that might be the case but one never knew. He didn't want to make any assumptions.
"Oh...then I get the special fan pack too? With your poster and autograph? Maybe I should have you sign my shirt!" he was actually giddy for a moment, for the first time in what seemed like a long time. "Alright. I'll wait till tonight but you better not wait six weeks to mail me my t-shirt."
~ ~ ~
Laughing softly, Akihiko shook his head, "What will I do with you, Ruki?" he asked with a smirk. "Why would you want my autograph... when you see me every day?"
Arms wrapped around his waist, the musician headed toward the door before turning slightly, "Oh, and I'm going to hire them... your indie friends. I..." he tilted his head to the side. "Well, it's not that I LIKE them... they sound good with my voice is all. Besides, they don't suck up to me and kiss a** like the Ohayou bands do. Bunch of bitches..."
Okay, so you had to have a certain amount of balls to work with Narcissus.
Waving a hand, the robe-clad musician opened Izzy's door. "But yeah, you can have whatever you want, Ruki. Fan pack... autograph... t-shirt... the works. Least I can do, ne?"
Now... he had to get dressed.
There was a concert to do.
PLUS... well... he'd been hearing odd sounds coming from his laundry room...
And the ever curious Koyasu Akihiko, had a feeling he knew what it was...
~ ~ ~
"Because...when I become your biggest fan, I'll have to start somewhere right?" he giggled and surely was teasing a bit with those words. "True...I do see you everyday. I guess I will be your Luckiest fan as well." Indeed, Izzy felt lucky in this one way. As long as Akihiko wanted him as a manager...even if he never could love Izzy back...yes, Izzy would be far happier still being here as just a manager than nothing at all.
"Oh...that's wonderful. I am sure they will be surprised and happy when you tell them." He didn't comment on the LIKE part of it all. He had a feeling that one day Akihiko would feel 'LIKE' for his band members. Just like he sort of found a way to like him. But even so, Izzy was inwardly satisfied that he was able to finally help his friends find their way back into the professional music industry. He was especially proud that the group had been able to pull it together and keep things going when Narcissus was injured. Once this was all said and done, he'd have to thank Jaz and Yammi.
"Anything?" he smiled brightly and said, "Well go get dressed, I'm sure if Shou-san is as you said, he might already be at the studio." But then he turned away with the former words in mind. Anything....What he really desired...wanted...needed...was standing in his doorway with arms wrapped around the waist. Izzy knew by looking at Akihiko that it either was discomfort with him....or the drugs. But here, he didn't think Akihiko would have the time to find any drugs. So maybe it was safe?
But...he remembered Chairman Koyasu-sama's words about after the....event. Closing his eyes, he knew he had to get well quickly just so he could watch...no help Akihiko. He had to trust him to make the right choices too.
~ ~ ~
Somehow... Narcissus picked up on Izzy's gaze focusing on his arms. The musician paused, then put his hands on his hips instead.
He knew why he was doing it unconsciously... but he would rather Izzy didn't.
"Anything." Akihiko replied with a slight smile. "You name it, you'll get it. Even if it's not mine to give." he teased, winking at his manager.
"I'm... going to go get dressed." the musician spoke calmly. "Though... first I'm going to go make sure my laundry is safe." when Izzy gave him an odd look, Narcissus laughed. "I think Chiyou-kun and Michi-kun were playing with my dryer..." he joked.
~ ~ ~
His smile remained as he glanced back over his shoulder at the man. "Oh I'm sure I can think of something!" And then, he turned back towards Akihiko and walked up to him planting a soft kiss on his cheek, then one on his nose.
"The first kiss is for good luck at the show. The second is because...I can." Then he gave him one small one on his lips before pulling back, "The third one...is and extra just in case the first two weren't enough. I hope you performance tonight rocks the world. He gave Akihiko's arm a small squeeze and then let go." He tried to keep his focus on the music and all this concert would do for his star. Rather than how much he had wanted to say...The third one is...just for you.
"Wait...they were doing what with the dry.....er....Huh He blinked and paused, listened for a moment then suddenly getting it! "Ooooh...Ah...right...really?" Michi and Chiyou-kun? But in the laundry room? The questioning thought was obvious on Izzy's face. And maybe he was just a little surprised because hadn't Chiyou recently confessed to him? Ok maybe it was just a young man's crush and that gave Izzy a bit of relief.
~ ~ ~
Three small kisses...
Akihiko wasn't about to leave it at that, even given their recent awkwardness over Izzy's confession.
Instead of just accepting it... instead of walking away or commenting...
Narcissus suddenly wrapped his arms around Izzy's waist gently, and pressed his lips to those of his manager.
Strangely, the musician refrained from using his tongue... but the kiss itself was passionate enough to, more than likely, take the megane-clad man's breath away.
When Akihiko pulled back, he looked down into Izzy's eyes with his cool blue gaze. "Chiyou-kun loves you, though I'm sure you know that already. No doubt... he..." the musician paused, searching for the right words. "He realized how you feel about me... or how your confession told me you felt about me... don't deny what you said because it only cheapens it, Ruki. Thus... screwing Michi-kun is probably the kid's way of trying to mend his own heart."
They were... kind words?
Somewhat anyway.
Releasing Izzy Lucky, Akihiko stepped back before raising an eyebrow, "Guess I'll get going, ne?"
~ ~ ~
It would have been ok if Narcissus had left it at that, but no...Akihiko pulled him in and stole his breath away in that passionate kiss. It would have fogged his glasses, had their been more moisture in the room. Such a deep feeling that didn't need any words. A secret...once again. He'd be happy with that. Yes, if only to be here in this man's arms...he'd be happy with that.
A slow shiver slid down his back and he stared up into Akihiko's blue eyes, listening to every word. His own thoughts were revealed in that voice plus a few extra that he wasn't sure how to answer at the time...but then, he said gently , "I know Chiyou-kun cares deeply for me. He's just like a...son...to me. And I hope...that one day he finds someone that can love him the way he wishes." But he had to pause about the last bit, these words were a little more difficult, "I won't deny it, Akihiko."
How he loved hearing his name from those lips...the warm breath just brushing his nose. But they couldn't explore this conversation any further. No... they had to be manager and star now.
But then Akihiko started to talk about leaving and Izzy tried to lighten his own heart, "Yes, because while I'm sure that the fans would enjoy you in only a red robe, I think Shou-san would be a little bit...upset. " he returned to teasing...that was safer. He didn't want to cheapen the moment, but he couldn't divine Akihiko's answer. Why did Akihiko keep... returning him to these thoughts if he didn't want...? He pulled away and said with a grin, "Scoot! Or else your manager will have to go on stage for you... You don't want that, trust me."
~ ~ ~
Blue eyes narrowed very slightly, taking in his manager's more serious words.
Then Akihiko nodded, letting Izzy go, and heading for the door. "No, I wouldn't want that... especially since I've no idea if you can even carry a tune." the musician teased before offering a mock slight salute and heading out the door, closing it behind him.
But before getting dressed... well... he really did need to find out just what those two idiots in his laundry room were doing.
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:19 pm
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((( -Rolling Around in the Laundry!- )))
~ ~ ~
"Hah...nah...I'm not amazing." Michi laughed rather playfully enjoying the snuggle time even if it was on the bottom of the laundry room floor. Michi snuzzled in and melted for a while letting the warm feelings of the after glow radiate from the two of them. He could have snoozed there all curled up in the warmth of the nest all day long...but something niggled at his brain. Wasn't there something he should be...
And then somewhere between the buzzer and Chiyou's words, Michi moved with a sudden start! They were laying in the laundry room...and on Akhiko's sheets! "Oh crap!" The laundry had to get done and quick. It wouldn't be a good ideas for his most gracious host to see....this! Good grief. Ok sometimes Michi was too in to the moment to think about location. But now, he had to get it together and make sure that everything was back in order.
"Hey Chi, nn....we gotta get up and wash these sheets! Well...uh...wait...I've got to wash them. You've got to get out of here and go to the Studio!" Oh crap part two! How long had they been fooling around on the laundry room floor!!?Huh He kissed the top of the Blond's forehead then rolled away. Popping up from the comforter, he slipped into the bathroom in the room close by and cleaned up then threw on his clothes. It was fast work but he had to get busy. Once done he returned to the laundry room, he was stuffing the comforter and sheets in to the machine.
~ ~ ~
If only it could have gone on all day. Lying here, in secret, nestled in another man's sheets in another man's home, the both of them.
It was so warm and comfortable...and, truth be told, Chiyou really liked Michi, and certainly wouldn't mind doing it again...and again.
Something about that touch...that cute, sexy little smile...
Chiyou was brought out of his peaceful afterglow rather brusquely, though, when Michi suddenly startled.
Chiyo rolled over and blinked. Michi did have a good point. They had to get cleaned up quickly and put things back in order. There was a show tonight, and Akihiko certainly wouldn't be pleased to find his physical therapist and young co-worker tossing in his sheets, dirtying up his home.
"Ok ok...don't panic, gorgeous. One thing at a time." the young star smiled, standing up. He returned the kiss to his forehead with a peck to the brunette's lips and grabbed his dry clothing out of the machine, wrapping the discarded robe loosely around himself and padding back toward the guest room he had been using.
It really was a shame though...Michi was just so delightful. Perhaps...perhaps they could get together again...maybe.
A part of the blond did feel a bit guilty, though.
Ok, a lot guilty.
It was as though he had betrayed Izzy, somehow.
Sleeping with another man just moments after confessing his love to the manager. Yes, he had been rejected, but a part of the boy felt that jumping in the sack with someone else that quickly rather cheapened the feelings he had for the one who turned him away.
Sighing, Chiyou leaned up against the bedroom wall. He knew he was probably just being irrational. Heartbreak would do that, after all.
Izzy would want him to be happy, and move on. Right?
The blond cleaned and dressed himself, then fluffed his hair. Good as new.
Tonight, he would give the greatest performance of his life, so far. He would sing the songs of his heart, even though those songs would be sung to one who would not have him. Then, he would leave from that concert a new man.
Izzy wanted him to be strong. He could do this.
After all, the manager was his family, now. He was very happy he at least had that!
Silently, a tear rolled down Chiyou's cheek. He simply wiped it away with the back of his hand, opened the door, and strode out smiling.
Heading back into the laundry room, he couldn't help but grin watching Michi frantically trying to clean up the mess they had made.
The washer had been started and Chiyou chuckled, walking over to the man and wrapping his arms around him.
"Told you to relax, you look like you're going to have a stroke! What a way to waste all that good relaxation therapy..." he said with a playful wink.
~ ~ ~
Michi nodded as Chiyou stood up taking the kiss with a warm smile upon his own. Yes, he probably could have enjoyed everything about the warm nest and his lusty, young companion of the morning but he knew Aki would want to go soon to the Event stage and get started even after he got the dirty laundry underway.
But he had to admit, Chi was lots of fun in bed....well in sheets. The bed, maybe another day, if time and the moment allowed. Michi shook off that thought, "Gorgeous?" Chi had a way of calling him all sorts of nicknames that made him blush. That at least gave him a warm feeling even if he wasn't too sure on the accuracy of the statements.
"Oh....I know...I know. But since there is no rest for the...Wicke....I mean Narcissus-san then there is no rest for me either today." However, he did slide his graceful hands around the small of Chi's back and caressed those muscles tenderly. "Maybe I can rest after the Event...I'm surely going to be watching your show....Oh...and, Narcissus is officially hiring me to work for Ohayou as a physical therapist! So if you need me, I'm sure that you can request my services." he answered returning the wink with one of his own.
~ ~ ~
"Yes, gorgeous." he repeated, running his fingertips across Michi's blushing cheek.
"I think you were right the first time..." Chiyou laughed, "Akihiko is the quite wicked one...but...I don't think he's actually a bad guy. Just...well, he's Narcissus...no other way to describe him."
That was how the boy viewed things, at least.
He hoped for Narcissus sake that such was the case. If he hurt Izzy...god help him.
"Hopefully we can all get some rest after the show. I know I could use some." he wrapped his own arms around Michi so that they stood there holding eachother, the way you would expect to see a happy couple hold one another under a tree at the park, sweet and secretive.
Hearing that Michi would be around Ohayou now was very welcome news to the blond, though!
"Wow! That's great! I was hoping you would be offered such a position! I thought from the get go such a thing would make you happier than what you had been doing. I'm very happy for you!"
Without thinking about it, Chiyou ran his fingers through the brunette's hair, kissing him on the forehead absently before letting the man go.
At least, around Michi, Chiyou felt relaxed and chill. It was a welcome change from the anxieties he had been feeling a lot lately.
~ ~ ~
Michi smiles as his cheek was stroked, lips pursuing those fingertips for a small kiss. "Yes...you're probably right. There is no easy way to describe him." Indeed...but Michi thoroughly enjoyed playing seme with the man. But he had a feeling that the young Koyasu was a much more dominate seme that he could ever be. And of course that had him pondering other thoughts but they weren't pressing thoughts considering there was so much other work to do.
"I have a feeling that all the stars are going to be feeling a bit tired after this show. At least from what I hear. I bed that Shou-san and Narcissus-san will sleep for a week eat." He laughed a little and felt content with the snuggling. Just for a few moments now that the wash was in.
"Thank you. Should keep me busy! And I won't have to take the train for 2 hours each way anymore! Well...once i fine a place in the city to rent. Narcissus wants me closer to Tokyo so I can be available at a moment's notice. " Michi was very pleased with this new job offer. Another reason for not wanting to get caught amidst the sheets in Aki's laundry room. And he sighed softly as the fingers brushed through his hair then the kiss to his own forehead enjoying the physical contact.
~ ~ ~
"I leave you two alone for thirty minutes and you've already screwed one another... and here I thought you were out of stamina, Michi-kun." came the voice of Koyasu Akihiko.
He was standing in the laundry room doorway, arms crossed over his chest (for once not around his waist), and leaning on the door frame.
"And, seeing how, miraculously, all of my sheets are missing from the top shelf... I'd guess it's safe to say they're in my washer... must have been some fun"
Obviously, Narcissus wasn't mad, he wasn't even concerned. He was however, a tad bit annoyed that they'd done it in his laundry room and on the clean sheets, instead of in the guest room bed...
~ ~ ~
Michi had a hard time not blushing at that comment but then he immediately started apologizing, "Gomen nasai! We...Chi-kun... I....Ugh. We have no excuse." He bowed his head in apology certainly not wanting to arouse the wrath of his new employer. Ugh! He knew they should have took to the bedroom. So fast even if it was fun.
"Ah. I'll replace the sheets if you want. " he offered quickly. Thankfully, he had his clothes on now. Thankfully, Aki hadn't caught them midway in the 'therapy session.' He might have been very embarrassed.
However even in his apologies, he looked at Aki's stance. Right now the man seemed normal enough at first glance. He wondered how things went with Ishi-san but by the amount of time that had passed...While he and Chiyou-kun might be able to have sex at a feverish pace. He doubted that was the same situation with Ishi-san and Aki. So he guessed, that nothing...but talking might have happened. Was it good? Was it bad? Well it didn't start out well from Michi's last glance. So he had his doubts but didn't ask.
~ ~ ~
Well, there it was, all out in the open...
"Oi, it's ok, Michi-kun. You have no reason to apologize." the boy interjected, turning to face Akihiko.
"Really, this was all my fault. If anything is ruined, it comes out of my money. You know how I am, after all...can't ever seem to control myself..." he chuckled, a hint of discomfort in his tone.
There it was again...that nagging guilt. Looking at Narcissus made him think of Izzy, thinking of Izzy made him feel...just horrible.
It was an absolute mess in the blond's head and heart.
That one comment of Akihiko's caught his ear, for some reason, though...
Why would Michi have been out of stamina...unless Narcissus had been banging him already?
Something about that really irked Chiyou...but he could only let it go. Useless to even dwell on things that were none of his business.
After all, Izzy wasn't his...and neither was Michi. The men could do as they pleased, with whom they pleased.
What the young star couldn't seem to grasp...was why every little thing seemed to hurt now. Would he ever find somebody to call his own? Or...would it just be the occasional random, meaningless sex sessions?
It really felt like he was always the one to be left out...to not really matter...
So many reasons why...it just felt better to be wasted sometimes.
Without realizing it, Chiyou had gone rather silent, arms wrapping around himself uncomfortably, in the same posture that Akihiko had been displaying off and on.
"Um...well....no use us all standing around, ne? We've...we've got a show to do!" he finally brought himself to say, voice shaking just a little.
If he could just get one drink before the show...just to calm his nerves...
After that...it wouldn't hurt to forget for a little while...would it?
~ ~ ~
Sighing, Akihiko walked into the laundry room and grabbed the back of Chiyou's shirt, pulling the boy after him. "You're coming with me. I can't leave you alone for two seconds apparently."
Obviously the musician was teasing... kind of.
"Besides, you're either going to seek out more sex or get wasted... I know that look." he knew it cause he had it himself on occasion.
Lately more often than not.
"Michi-kun, you're off the hook. Just make sure Ishi's good to go." Narcissus continued as he dragged Chiyou back to his own bedroom.
Once inside, Akihiko locked the door and headed to his closet. At first, he didn't say anything... but soon...
"Does it always drive you crazy, Chiyou?" Narcissus asked, rummaging through his closet as he spoke. "Cravings, I mean."
Yes...
The young Koyasu wanted the kid's knowledge on drugs...
~ ~ ~
For a second, Chiyou wasn't sure if he were actually in trouble or not...but then he realized that the reprimand had been in jest. Laughing boyishly, he peeked over his shoulder at Michi as the older musician dragged him along and into his room.
Why in here, though?
As soon as the words came out of Akihiko's mouth, though...he knew. He had given himself away, obviously. Now, this man wanted to know just what in the world it was like...
It had to be hard, going through the withdrawals, especially as Narcissus had never asked for the drugs in the first place.
Standing there, in the unfamiliar bedroom, Chiyou couldn't help the vulnerable feeling that began to creep over him.
Subconsciously, he wrapped his arms around himself again, fingers knotting themselves up in the fabric of the back of his shirt.
"Um....well..." how on earth could he explain this?
"Not...always."
Well...that was hardly an explanation.
Taking a deep breath, he elaborated, "When I have something to focus on, when...when I'm in a good place...I don't really think about it anymore. At first, it was hard, though. I went back to the drugs many, many times...but I was just a little kid then. Well...I know I'm kinda still a kid now, but things have changed. I didn't have any strength then...and didn't feel a reason to try."
Why...why was he itching all of a sudden?
Falling silent for a moment, the blond began to scratch around his neck and face.
"It hurts..." he whispered suddenly.
"It...it's...when I feel bad, or sad, or when I'm lonely...or depressed...sometimes even if I just get angry....I can feel it...crawling under my skin...begging me to go find just one more fix. Oh god, Akihiko, I can't stand it!" the young man just burst into tears, tearing across the bedroom and throwing himself against the older man's body, clinging and trembling.
Just a little bit...just a few moments.
Turning Akihiko around in his arms, the boy stood on his toes and kissed Narcissus.
Make it go away....please... he thought to himself.
Not for long. He didn't need much.
A few moments might be what they both needed to get through the show.
Narcissus had been right, however.
When it got to a point...all you could do was seek out the drug, or reach for sexual pleasure in one form or another...though that only made Chiyou hate himself more in the end.
No matter what he did, at this point, the boy was getting ready to walk through hell again.
One broken heart had been all it took...
~ ~ ~
Unexpected.
Simple as that.
Akihiko froze as arms wrapped around his body, clinging to him in a desperate need.
A need like the one he had had last night...
Only, instead of his clutching hands on Michi... it was Chiyou's on himself...
He didn't say anything, understanding that need for contact, for something to distract, for...
Suddenly the musician was turned around, his lips pressed against those of the younger artist.
Strangely, Narcissus froze.
A part of him wanted to push the young man away and demand to know what the hell had come over him.
But another part knew what it was... understood... and...
Pulling back, Akihiko shook his head, "Chiyou-kun... I..." blue eyes narrowed as the musician tried to say what he knew he needed to.
Chiyou couldn't go on like this...
"I know you love Izzy Lucky. And... I know he rejected you." Akihiko spoke calmly, trying to keep the young man from spiraling. "He... loves you like a son, and you can't handle that... can you?"
Sighing, the musician sidestepped, walking around Chiyou and moving to sit on the bed, still clad in his red robe. His gaze focused on the young man intently for a moment.
And then...
"He confessed he loved me." Narcissus spoke, almost as if discussing the weather. "If I reject him... he'll understand the rejection that you now feel. If I don't... he may be happy." arching an eyebrow, the musician watched the other man. "What would you choose? Would you want me to make him happy... or to cause him the same pain you feel?"
It was... an odd question.
But one that Akihiko wanted the answer too.
~ ~ ~
Akihiko knew. He knew everything.
It was all too much. Like a thousand knives were being twisted in his heart.
Narcissus moved and went to sit on his bed, and Chiyou simply collapsed to the floor, crying uncontrollably.
The last time he had cried this hard...was the last day he has seen his mother.
Only twelve years old...
That was how he knew though...all the tears in the world wouldn't bring someone back if they didn't want to come on their own.
"No....noooooo. I can't handle...it." the boy bawled, his voice heavy with sorrow and pain.
"I thought...I could....be grown up. It...is better to be loved as a son than not at all....but...even so....kami-sama I can't take the pain!"
Falling forward on his hands, the boy's tears fell visibly onto the carpet, his body shaking as though he were about to freeze to death.
If he could just get some booze....just a couple of vicodin....one hit of heroin....even just a bump of cocaine...
Just...one more time...to kill the pain.
And then...to be told that Izzy had already confessed to Akihiko...
To top it off...what sort of sick question was that? Of course Chiyou wanted Izzy to be happy...even if it were at his expense.
"No. No! Don't you dare hurt Izzy!" he half-shrieked.
"I know...you're into being a star....but if you have even a shred of compassion, you'll think that man's confession over and give him what he deserves...someone who loves him...unconditionally...for all that he is and all...that he ever will be. Don't hurt him. Don't." the young star folded in on himself, arms clinging to his own body.
He couldn't stop thinking about it...the high, the rush, the feeling of all his troubles just floating away in a sea of bliss.
How was he supposed to do the show tonight? Could he possibly get through it?
Looking up at Akihiko again, tears still dripping down that youthful face, he cried, "It's killing me...god, Akihiko, its killing me...but I'd rather it hurt me than see him shed a single tear..."
~ ~ ~
Eyebrow arched, Akihiko watched as Chiyou literally fell apart on his bedroom floor. It was... sad, in a way... and yet annoying.
Wait, annoying?
Narcissus pondered that feeling. He didn't give a damn about Chiyou... this tantrum SHOULD be annoying... but there was that damned sadness in there too.
"And if I don't love him? If I just enjoy screwing him? If it's nothing more than a fun past time to string him along? What would you do, Chiyou-kun? Would you self destruct further? Would you cry and sob in a tangled mess on the floor... or would you defend him? Protect him? Try to make him understand?"
Sighing, Akihiko folded his arms over his chest. "Yare yare, Chiyou-kun... you simply give up too easily. It's a ******** miracle you've made it this far."
Narcissus stood then, walking over and hauling the young musician to his feet, before promptly tossing him backward so that he fell onto the bed. He left Chiyou there, returning to the closet. "I don't think you realize how much you mean to him. So, before you go and get high or wasted or just ******** up in general... you should think about that. Hell, it's pretty much the only reason I haven't asked YOU for a hit yet. Because it would kill Izzy Lucky if I did... if you did... and I'd rather not come home to find my manager had slit his wrists in my bathroom."
Yes, Narcissus was blunt and to the point.
Akihiko fell into the role naturally... hiding his own emotions behind his performance mask.
But he really did mean those words...
~ ~ ~
When Narcissus tossed him back on the bed like a broken doll, the boy immediately became filled with rage. How dare he even imagine to use Izzy like that! And...to say he gave up too easily....
Well, what else could he do? He just...didn't see the other options.
Akihiko was right, though...and Chiyou knew it.
"If...." he began, voice somewhat more even, "If you lead Izzy on, used him, then...I could never forgive you. I would have to do something...anything...to try and defend that man. I love Ishi Ruki..."
Raising his hand, the boy wiped away his tears, stiffening his lip and forcing his weaker self back into submission the best he could.
"You're right, though. Giving in like that...going back...it would hurt Izzy. I...thank you...for pointing that out. Sometimes...it takes being reminded. It's hard. Painfully hard, especially when I don't know how to deal, sometimes. For the record...I know how and where to get pretty much anything...but even if you asked me, even if you bribed me, which, for the record, I imagine your pride wouldn't allow, I would never, ever, hook you up with drugs or send you to anyone I knew could. I care for Izzy too much...and...I care about you, too. In a different way, mind you! But...you're too important of a person, to Izzy, to music, to the world, to just give in like that. You've done well, though. I envy you your strength. I fell back into it far easier. I'm a sucker for temptation."
Rolling over, Chiyou just kind of curled into the covers of the large, soft bed. It was comforting, at least. Being in any bed was better than being on the floor, in shambles.
Being near Narcissus...it kind of helped, too. They didn't always get on too well, but it was comforting to be near someone who at least understood...
"I know you love Izzy, Akihiko." he said out of the blue.
"I've seen the way you look at him, the way you cried when he was hurt. I don't believe you would use him. If you did, then you'd only be lying to yourself, you know..."
Pain. Always the pain. Painful words, painful truths.
All worth it, for Izzy.
Sighing, the blond rolled over.
"Would you...for just a moment...at least consider holding me. I know you don't like me...but...being near someone...it takes the bad feeling away..."
~ ~ ~
"You're right, I don't like you." Akihiko spoke as he walked out of the closet.
He was shirtless, though there was a black long puffed-sleeved button up tight shirt in his hand. The musician was wearing tight black pants that just barely met his hips, they were so low. His blue eyes focused on Chiyou s he walked over, stopping at the edge of the bed.
"I'm not going to hold you, Chiyou-kun. You're only in this room so I can try and talk some ******** sense into you. Screw Michi-kun if you need someone to alleviate the pain, god knows I did last night." no, he really didn't care if the kid knew about his own sex life. Carefully, Narcissus sat down on the bed beside Chiyou. "And here I thought the pain might go away eventually. A week... a month... surely if I don't use again, it'll just disappear. And... if I can hold out. If I can keep myself from turning to a substance like drugs... so can you." he turned his head, gazing at Chiyou for a moment. "How about, after the concert... we all go get drunk? Think you can hold out til then?"
~ ~ ~
The blond's own blue eyes narrowed as he looked into Akihiko's.
Then they drifted over the star's smooth, bare chest.
"Mmm...you really are a b*****d, you know. Somehow, it kinda makes me like you more. That's just who you are...when you're Narcissus." the kid actually grinned.
"Ah...Michi-kun...he's...just wonderful. I kinda figured out that you had him first, though. If that's what he's into, then...I guess its whatever."
Closing his eyes, Chiyou let himself relax just a bit, letting out a deep breath.
"I'd like to say it will go away completely, but once you've had it...it'll always come back to haunt you, even in little ways. You'll go a long, long time without even thinking about it, then, out of the blue, something triggers this want. It's small, at first, but it eats at you until you think of doing all sorts of things just to get that feeling one last time. I hope it's easier for you, though. Some people have it better than others."
That was that. No other way of explaining it.
From what Chiyou knew and saw, he thought Akihiko would have troubles, but nothing to the degree he had.
At least, that's what he hoped.
The man had a point though. If he could do it, so could Chiyou. It was a very encouraging way of looking at things.
"Yeah...I can hold out til then. It sounds like a good plan, though. One night out drinking won't hurt. Just watch the booze too...it's tempting to let that be a permanent substitute, and that's just as bad as hard drugs in the long run."
Better to be honest about it...
Izzy had dealt with that with him as well. After the rehab for drugs, the kid became a bit of an alcoholic, getting a hold of the stuff by all sorts of means.
The kid knew he had to control himself so that he never fell back into those ways again. It was so hard though...so ******** hard.
Turning his attention back to Akihiko for a moment, he smirked a bit. No way he could not ask.
"Why do you not like me, anyway? I've just got to wonder..." he asked, a curious glint in his eye as he sat up and leaned in a bit, facing the man on the bed.
~ ~ ~
Akihiko turned his gaze to the ceiling, looking up as he talked. "Calling me a b*****d only gets you stuck further on my, 'I don't like you' list, you know that, right?" he asked before standing from the bed and pulling the shirt over his arms as he spoke. "You're assuming I'm not like this most of the time, Chiyou-kun. Dangerous assumption, that."
Narcissus adjusted his sleeves, letting the frilled ends hang for a moment before starting to button the shirt from the bottom up. "So I get to want drugs the rest of my life. ******** wonderful. God I'm going to kill whoever did this once I find him... then I'll kill Izo for hiring the b*****d. Then... well..." he shrugged slightly, leaving the top two buttons undone. "I'll just deal. It's what I'm best at."
The musician walked away, looking in the mirror for a long time before grabbing a brush from his dresser and running it through his long hair. He'd certainly need a stylist when he got to the event local.
"Addicted to alcohol?" Akihiko suddenly asked before laughing, "Chiyou-kun, I'm already addicted to it enough. I don't think I can exactly exacerbate the problem too much. Besides..." he pulled the brush through a particularly tough tangle. "If I'm drunk, I can't make music. Simple as that. You know... I choose Izzy as my manager when I was drunk. Well, kind of... then I trashed a hotel room. It was... fun. Nice way to let off steam after he pretty much blew off my initial request."
Suddenly though...
The damned kid just had to ask a question which Narcissus wasn't sure how to answer.
For a long moment, the young Koyasu was silent, then, as he set down his brush, the musician turned, hands on his hips, and looked directly at Chiyou with his piercing blue gaze.
"Rival. Not a rival for love, mind you... but you're a rival musician. I don't much like Nakai-kun either. Rivals within the same company... liking each other? Being friends? Now... that's simply a disaster waiting to happen."
~ ~ ~
"Can't take a joke, eh? You're a b*****d, I'm a smart-alec little p***k...you take things too seriously, nii-san." he teased. The boy knew Akihiko hated to be referred to in such a manner. Chiyou just liked to push buttons sometimes.
Really though, despite everything, the boy did like Akihiko.
Often times, he kind of wondered if Akihiko liked himself, though.
There were a lot of things about the older star that were obvious defense mechanisms, from Chiyou's point of view.
Listening to everything Narcissus had to say, though,...it was rather enlightening.
It did seem that this self-proclaimed 'rival' could be fun.
"I didn't say a little drinking would hurt, now. Matter of fact, I would be honored to go out drinking alongside you. Be nice to see you laugh a little, again. Maybe we could get into some mischief too...but nothing that would call attention to us, of course. As far as us being rivals...come the ******** on. Really? You think anyone could possibly beat you on the charts, with the fans? Even Mr. Popular, Shou from SMASH, can't top your records. That's just...that's just funny to me! Rivals! Ahahahahaha!" the kid fell back on the bed, rolling back and forth, absolutely laughing his a** off. Sure, he was a serious musician. So was Nakai. As far as being rivals...well, maybe in an alternate universe. As the younger star saw it, they were co-workers, and could...no, should...be friends. All Akihiko was, was his senior and his better when it came to music.
Akihiko really did view things a bit too seriously.
But...it kind of came of as him being...insecure?
Chiyou didn't even think of it in those terms for more than a second, though. Insecure? Akihiko? No way.
~ ~ ~
Looking down at Chiyou... who was literally laughing his a** off on the bed, Akihiko frowned, "First off, what makes you think I'm a happy drunk? Second off, stop trying to put me on a ******** pedestal, Chiyou. God, I say one nice thing to you and you suddenly think we're best friends."
Making a 'tsk sound, Narcissus headed toward his bedroom door, throwing it open and preparing to go find Izzy.
After all, they did need to get to the studio soon.
"I don't want to be friends with you. Don't you get that?" he asked, blue gaze narrowed as he glared at the younger musician from over his shoulder. "You're a pain in the a**, a whining crybaby, and a half-a** musician. The only reason I tolerate you is for Izzy's sake. Stop getting the wrong ******** idea."
With that, Narcissus left the bedroom, heading upstairs.
Really...
Chiyou was such a brat sometimes...
~ ~ ~
"Heh...liar liar, pants on fire..." he sang softly behind Akihiko's back as the musician walked upstairs.
Standing up from the bed, the blond ran his fingers through his hair and smiled, laughing to himself.
When Narcissus said those things, all he heard was, 'Keep growing up, hold your head high, and try your best with your music.'
Akihiko just had a different way of going about things.
A very special, different way.
The kid had made up his mind. Koyasu Akihiko was indeed someone he wanted around in his life, even if the older star didn't openly return the sentiment.
"Love you too, nii-san!" he chuckled, heading up the stairs.
They did have a show to do, after all.
Narcissus had given him the pep-talk he needed to get right back on track.
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:20 pm
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((( -A Sudden Affair- )))
~ ~ ~
It was then Nakai's cell phone rang...and rang... and rang....
Izzy looked at his new phone for Nakai and wondered...Did the man oversleep again? Oh no. He hoped that Nakai had gotten up on time for his big day! He should have been awake by now! A manager's work was never done!
~ ~ ~
However... just then
Nakai's damn phone rang!
Groaning, the vocalist collapsed backward onto the bed as lithe fingers groped for the phone on the bedside table. Flipping it open, Nakai spoke... in a very deep and winded breath.
"Mo...moshi moshi?"
Who the hell had such bad timing as to call him right then?!
With his other arm, he wrapped his fingers around Hiroki from the back, pulling the man down on top of him.
~ ~ ~
Hiroki leaned in with the pressure, laying down just as Nakai wanted but the PHONE! Goddamn phone. Grand central station but wait...it wasn't his phone! It was Nakai's. So in his own euphoria, he stared sucking on Nakai's other earlobe as Nakai took the call. Sure, he'd be a little naughty. He was quite relaxed by now.
"Hi, Kai, Ishi desu.....Daijoubu desu ka???" The managers voice suddenly filled with concern at the sounds he could hear. "Are you at the Event already? Is that noise...umm...from the stage? I'm just about to head out there with Narcissus-san and Chiyou-kun. I've been told I have to just watch tonight...so this is the first time I will actually get to sit back and see every one perform."
~ ~ ~
"Gomen ne, Izzy-san... You woke me up... thank god..." Nakai replied, trying to play it off. "I was up late working... guess I forgot to set my alarm."
Well, it WAS true.
He had forgotten.
Only... Hiroki had been the one waking him up...
"Um... I'll..." damn that sucking on his ear was distracting. "I'll meet you there... shouldn't... shouldn't take me too long."
Amber eyes focused on Hiroki with a slightly warning look.
If the man didn't want them found out... he'd have to stop being such a delicious tease!
~ ~ ~
Hiroki heard the name and then paused after getting that look. He didn't want Nakai in trouble with Izzy Lucky first thing before the show but pay backs were a little in order after his own phone got played with. So he licked the man's ear once then just laid his head down quietly against Nakai. Still feeling a bit heady after such a great time.
"Oh no..NAKAI! It's the most important day for you! Hayaku! Hayaku! Oh this is what I get for being injured! Sumimasen! I didn't have your schedule all worked out. Ugh!" his voice was very raspy as he spoke so rapidly finally almost losing it at the end. "You'll make it there Ok....right? I can come pick you up if you need me to."
"No you're not going to pick up Nakai, Ishi-san. We don't want you driving just yet and also if you go you are just the type to find some work to do. I'm sure that Narcissus-san would agree with me on this." said Michi with a knowing smile as he walked in with his bag. The laundry was in the drier so all that was left was to fold them later. "Nakai-san!" Michi called out so the man could hear him even if he didn't hold the phone. "Just meet us at the Event, We're leaving in 5 minutes. So see you there."
Izzy just looked up and blinked as Tanaka-kun took over. "But... Ah...alright Nakai-san. Umm...I'll meet you at the Event. So please don't be late." Not long after he hung up the phone.
~ ~ ~
Well, at least trying to explain that he'd be fine making it to the event was taken care of...
So when Izzy quickly hung up the phone, Nakai dropped it over the side of the bed and just sighed, closing his eyes. "Damn... I wish we weren't so rushed." the musician whispered before focusing on Hiroki and helping the man sit up.
With a devilish smirk, Kai laughed softly, "Looks like the ride's over, Hiroki-san."
~ ~ ~
"Awh man! Already?" he let out a playful whine that was in the spirit of that devilish smirk. He laid back on the bed with a sigh. "Next time..." Well if there was a next time...who knew. He wasn't going to press the man if he didn't want to. "No phones. No managers..." Both interruptions had been caused by managers. Not that Hiroki didn't mind his work but still!
"I guess I should let you get going now...." he said just before giving the man one more kiss. "I really did have a good time. I think I'm going to like learning about music from you." Afterwards, he slipped out of bed and cleaned up before he'd also have to leave.
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:21 pm
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( -Dorm Room Delight- )
~ ~ ~
Ryu lay there, eyes closed, though fluttering slightly.
"Ohhhh beibi....just come here and hold me...just for a little bit..."
They had been at it all morning and on into the afternoon by this point. They had to get themselves together soon...but just a few more moments wouldn't hurt.
~ ~ ~
Ryuukaze was beside him, laying there, exhausted... Moving was a bit difficult at first...
Naoko reached out, grasping the violinist's hand with his own and bringing it up to his lips. He gently kissed those digits. "I think... I've had... enough..." the blond spoke with a mischievous smirk, before moving his body over to lay directly beside Ryu, wrapping his arms around the other man.
~ ~ ~
Ryuukaze was content to lie there peacefully for a moment, just holding his lover.
Yeah, they were tired as ********, again...but they were going to give one hell of a performance tonight!
"Enough? No way....really?" the violinist teased, tapping Naoko on his cute little nose.
"We'd better get up...but I really don't wanna..." he whined playfully.
Just one more kiss before they started their day...
Leaning in, Ryu lovingly kissed the lips of an angel, barely gracing them.
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 3:30 pm
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