The funny things your band teachers have said.

[Belle Corvus]

Two of our percussion players were playing with bouncy balls one day during marching band.
Mr. Burton: "Give those to me."
So they did. A little while later, pulled out another set and started playing with them. Again, Mr. Burton took them away.
This goes on for like, half the day and finally, Mr. Burton, so frustrated by them says; "GIVE ME ALL THE BALLS IN YOUR PANTS!"

Yeah... He's never gonna live that one down.
Ever.  

[redheadsrule13]

Okay so my new band director who we've had for about 2 years now, was arguing with another student about something. All of a sudden I look over at him and he's doing the ghetto snapping and saying "not like that girlfriend," or something like that.

We were marking time one day, and our band director told us to stop. We did and he's like this is how you mark time (shows us) this is the dirty diaper dance (shows us) that's what most of you were doing for marking time.

This has nothing to do with my director but we had a person from his college come help out with instructing with my clarinet group, he's explaining to us how to play something and suddenly he says "What about your squeezy b flat" The 10 people in my group inclusing us stared at him. He asks what while we just laugh at him because we've always called a b flat a clam shell b flat.  

[Baddicus B itch]

Not our BD but one of the instructors always got on this kid in the trumpet section who never had his music and was always acting up. It was this pretty fat woman with a southern accent and deep voice. She'd yell "Every time we play a stands tune you're gonna drop. HOW YA LIKE ME NOW, JESSE?"  

[User 27225319]

One time our teacher was telling us, in a very sad tone about her last doctor's appointment (she got whip lash like a year ago and still has it) and about how her back is getting worse and she started to say "I could really use..." and my friend shouted out "A chocolate bar?!" and the teacher laughed and said "Yes actually, That'd be really good!"  

[meow637]

In band camp, we were on the field, learning our drill, and he was calling the basses by their #, "b1 b2, b3, b4" and then I interrupter, saying "You sunk my battleship" and then he said "Looks like I win once again, you really need to keep you battleship out of the first 4 Bs" and everybody started to laugh.  

[Dark Veggies]

High School- "The crowd will love you so much, they will begin to throw babies."

Middle school- "You guys sound like a baby tied to a ceiling fan right now!"

PS: Trumpets FTW ~❤

 

[13 Mockingjay]

Well, first of all, my friend and I always laugh when he's counting the beats for drums because he doesn't say "one and a two and a one..." Instead he says, "One and two-ey and one and two-ey."

He called the trumpets "Spittle machines" cause they always try to dump their spit by the girls.

We only have one clarinet in our band and he's always making her play louder because we need that sound. One time she yelled, "I can't play louder!" So in the middle of the practice song he yelled back, "TONGUE IT! TONGUE IT!" to her. It was funny cause we all stopped playing and were all laughing except the one drummer we have who was in his own world for like five minutes while he finished out the song. He was like "Alex....Alex...ALEX!" "Yeah?" "Well, not to rain on your parade, but we're starting the song over. We stopped like five minutes ago."

And one time he flicked us off...accidentally of course. But somebody did it back to him, also. The trumpets didn't know how to play a note so he said "Middle finger." well, they weren't listening so he was waving his hand in the air saying, "Earth to trumpets, MIDDLE FINGER!" That's when he stuck up his finger then realized he did it and then one of the smartelic trumpets stuck up his middle finger back at him. "we never speak of that to teachers, got it?" the teacher asked everyone, then gave us all a piece of gum as a bribe. smile

We have four flutes (me being one), two of them are talking all of the time (not me). Well, one time they started laughing in the middle of a song. He turned to them and asked "What's so funny." One said, "Oh, you don't want to know." He walked over to them and bent over to look them in the face saying, "Oh yeah, try me." Well, that's when everyone else noticed it. He had a HUGE hole right by his back pocket, so we all started laughing! The two girls just pointed and he turned to find the hole. All he said was, "Oh," turned around, pulled a chair to his stand, and called "pickups to measure twelve." We tease him all the time now and call him our "wholly" director.  

[13 Mockingjay]

Well, first of all, my friend and I always laugh when he's counting the beats for drums because he doesn't say "one and a two and a one..." Instead he says, "One and two-ey and one and two-ey."

He called the trumpets "Spittle machines" cause they always try to dump their spit by the girls.

We only have one clarinet in our band and he's always making her play louder because we need that sound. One time she yelled, "I can't play louder!" So in the middle of the practice song he yelled back, "TONGUE IT! TONGUE IT!" to her. It was funny cause we all stopped playing and were all laughing except the one drummer we have who was in his own world for like five minutes while he finished out the song. He was like "Alex....Alex...ALEX!" "Yeah?" "Well, not to rain on your parade, but we're starting the song over. We stopped like five minutes ago."

And one time he flicked us off...accidentally of course. But somebody did it back to him, also. The trumpets didn't know how to play a note so he said "Middle finger." well, they weren't listening so he was waving his hand in the air saying, "Earth to trumpets, MIDDLE FINGER!" That's when he stuck up his finger then realized he did it and then one of the smartelic trumpets stuck up his middle finger back at him. "we never speak of that to teachers, got it?" the teacher asked everyone, then gave us all a piece of gum as a bribe. smile

We have four flutes (me being one), two of them are talking all of the time (not me). Well, one time they started laughing in the middle of a song. He turned to them and asked "What's so funny." One said, "Oh, you don't want to know." He walked over to them and bent over to look them in the face saying, "Oh yeah, try me." Well, that's when everyone else noticed it. He had a HUGE hole right by his back pocket, so we all started laughing! The two girls just pointed and he turned to find the hole. All he said was, "Oh," turned around, pulled a chair to his stand, and called "pickups to measure twelve." We tease him all the time now and call him our "wholly" director.  

[13 Mockingjay]

Sorry I posted that twice, the thing kept saying my post was invalid...  

[meow637]

13 Mockingjay

(going off your first thing) Well, technically, a is the 16th note after and, and e is the first 16th note, so it's one-e-and-a-two-e-and-a-3-e... and so on.



My director's thing is "FIGURE IT OUT"  

[13 Mockingjay]

meow637

13 Mockingjay

(going off your first thing) Well, technically, a is the 16th note after and, and e is the first 16th note, so it's one-e-and-a-two-e-and-a-3-e... and so on.



My director's thing is "FIGURE IT OUT"

The "One-and a two-e and a one and a two-e..." Is a beat for a song we play, I forgot the name, but that's exactly how he counts the beat soooo.....  

[Blue Eyed Hobo]

This was like 3 years ago. It's was the funniest thing ever because our Saxaphones, Flutes, Drummers, and Trumpets wouldn't shut up in class.
" I know you really want to tell me HOW IGNORANT YOU ARE but I ALREADY KNOW! You don't need to tell me OVER AND OVER AGAIN! NOW, Horns up, let's play!!"  

[Quesadylla]

"It's like watching puppies hatch!"