Worst Things You Can Ever Say As A Pagan

[washu_2004]

How To Annoy A Wiccan

1. Borrow their eyeliner and then don’t give it back.
2. Snicker when the fat ones go skyclad.
3. Rearrange their altar.
4. Clean their “tools.”
5. If they mention Magick, ask them to explain … you never understood that dumb card game.
6. Step into that drawn circle and ask them what they’re doing.
7. Sharpen that dull knife of theirs.
8. Claim to be a non-Wiccan witch.
9. Ask if they can wriggle their nose like in Bewitched.
10. Put on your best Judy Garland voice and ask “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”
11. Throw water on them and expect them to melt.
12. Explain how adding “An’ it harm none” completely misses the point of Thelema. Then explain what Thelema is.
13. Lend them a copy of Liber OZ.
14. Take them to a Catholic Mass.
15. Turn their pentagrams upside down.
16. Recite good poetry during ritual.
17. Cast that circle counterclockwise.
18. Tell the Goddess to put up or shut up during the invocation.
19. Ask if they can do those things like in that movie… what was it?… oh yeah, The Craft!
20. When they start talking about “The Goddess” start chanting things in Ouranian barbaric or Enochian. Explain later that you have a subconsciously wired bullshit-cut-off switch.
21. See if they know any Hebrew attributions for, say, tarot. Then ask them why they know.
22. Ask them who Gerald Gardner was. Ask them which degree rites they’ve been through. Ask them why they haven’t, if it’s part of the authentic Celtic tradition. Duck, and remind them about the “An’ it harm none” bit.
23. Talk to their cat. Tell them the cat says it wants human sacrifices.
24. Scream “KALI YUGA!” when they invoke the Goddess.
25. Ask them who you have to sleep with in order to get initiated to the 3rd Degree.
26. Ask why so many Wiccan rituals bear a striking similarity to Golden Dawn rituals.
27. Half way through a ritual, ask the High Priestess to wake you when the sex starts…
28. Edit their Book of Shadows, inserting material from one of the assorted Necronomicons or the Satanic Bible.
29. Ask them to recommend a good book on the subject of Wicca. When they respond, repeat that you wanted a good book on Wicca.
30. When one tells you that s/he is a Witch, tell them not to be so hard on themselves.
31. Explain the difference between ‘skyclad’ and ‘houseclad.’
32. Remind them the moon has four phases, not three.
33. Men – wear amber and jet.
34. Wear a white robe and hood to the summer solstice. Say your swastika is just a rune.
35. Worship the devil and call yourself a “real witch.”
36. Tell them that the green ray only appeals to people that like having their brain shut down.
37. Tell them the story about how Gardner coined the phrase “Blessed be” after he “hired” a West Country priestess from a local brothel who gasped it during the five fold kiss.
38. Point out that you can’t meaningfully be a Kabbalist unless you’re Jewish. No, wait, that’s for annoying Hermeticists…
39. Put fire wood around the maypole.
40. Play poker with their tarot cards.
41. Give them a Bible to read.
42. Substitute their white candles for black ones, or blow their candles out rather than snuffing them out.
43. Ask them if you they can cast a love spell for you. (This really pisses them off).
44. Start discussing taboo subjects such as The Wicker Man and The Corn King.
45. Ask them if they’ve ever turned anyone into a toad.
46. Crosspost this list to alt.religion.wicca every time it is requested.  

[TeaDidikai]

washu_2004

1. Borrow their eyeliner and then don’t give it back.

Theft.

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2. Snicker when the fat ones go skyclad.

Disrupting ritual.

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3. Rearrange their altar.

Violation of orthopraxy.

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4. Clean their “tools.”

Key word being theirs...

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5. If they mention Magick, ask them to explain … you never understood that dumb card game.

It's spelled magic.

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6. Step into that drawn circle and ask them what they’re doing.

What are you doing going where you aren't welcome?

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7. Sharpen that dull knife of theirs.

Vandalism.

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8. Claim to be a non-Wiccan witch.

This is here why?

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9. Ask if they can wriggle their nose like in Bewitched.

I know a couple that can.

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10. Put on your best Judy Garland voice and ask “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”

Most likely will end in a discussion about how being of the Wica doesn't make you good or bad.

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11. Throw water on them and expect them to melt.

That's assault where I live.

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12. Explain how adding “An’ it harm none” completely misses the point of Thelema. Then explain what Thelema is.

One of the HPS I know is actually a Thelemite.

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13. Lend them a copy of Liber OZ.

Book 77 is on the shelf of the HPS I hung out with at Summer Star.

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14. Take them to a Catholic Mass.

Actually, they're more likely to take me.

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15. Turn their pentagrams upside down.

Why does this list obsess with messing with other people's stuff?
I'll go through some more later.

But really- quick way to annoy people in general is to act like a jerk.  

[washu_2004]

I believe that the point of this list is that it is a list of things NOT to do or say.
Anybody who does anything on this list is pretty much guaranteeing that they will annoy any Wiccan.

Thus it kind of belongs here.

I found it on alt.religion.wicca and I thought it might be somewhat related to this topic.

Fake Edit -

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8. Claim to be a non-Wiccan witch.

This is here why?

Probably because some traditions make a big thing of "We are the only true Wiccans" and claiming to be a Wiccan who is not a member of their tradition really, really annoys them.  

[patch99329]

washu_2004

I believe that the point of this list is that it is a list of things NOT to do or say.
Anybody who does anything on this list is pretty much guaranteeing that they will annoy any Wiccan.

Thus it kind of belongs here.

I found it on alt.religion.wicca and I thought it might be somewhat related to this topic.

Fake Edit -

Quote:

Quote:

8. Claim to be a non-Wiccan witch.

This is here why?

Probably because some traditions make a big thing of "We are the only true Wiccans" and claiming to be a Wiccan who is not a member of their tradition really, really annoys them.

Witchcraft is not exclusive to wicca either way!  

[TeaDidikai]

washu_2004

Anybody who does anything on this list is pretty much guaranteeing that they will annoy any Wiccan.

Which isn't the case. Someone claiming to be a non-Wiccan witch to Morgandria isn't going to annoy her.

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Probably because some traditions make a big thing of "We are the only true Wiccans" and claiming to be a Wiccan who is not a member of their tradition really, really annoys them.

Valid argument for that. People pretending to be Roma annoy me too.  

[patch99329]

While the open moon ritual is grounded in Wiccan tradition, many of its practices are more generally spiritual in nature and are directed toward personal introspection, such as asking participants to consider their New Year's resolution and to write down their deity's (maternal goddess' or paternal god's) most admirable traits on a sheet of paper. Once their lists are complete, Calafia asks them to add "I am" to the top of their papers. "Take this home with you as a reminder of how much we are like our chosen deities," Calafia instructs.

Cook considers herself more Shamanic than Wiccan. Although there are hundreds of Wiccan gods and goddesses to choose from, she beholds the term deity in a general sense, and says her goddess is Aphrodite.

Hundreds? Aphrodite? right.

I think the deity exercise is cheesy and at the worst a little hubristic. 'oh hey, according to this...I'm a sea god!'  

[Recursive Paradox]

How To Annoy A Wiccan Anyone

1. Be a jerk
2. Mock them
3. Don't be courteous
4. Be self righteous at them
5. Break or steal their stuff
6. Don't respect their boundaries
7. Lie about or misrepresent them for your own purposes
8. Set fire to their house
9. Play the Banana Phone song loudly and nonstop for eight hours while they're trying to concentrate on something important, finish work, or relax.

I think that's an adequate correction of that list.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

Perhaps not the worst thing I've come across, but the correleation between name and religion strikes me as, well.... eek .

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How my mom thought she could name me Avalon and somehow expect me to not be interested in Pagan religion I'll never know..

Guess I'm betraying my name by not being obsessed with angels then rolleyes  

[TeaDidikai]

Ultraviolett1127

Perhaps not the worst thing I've come across, but the correleation between name and religion strikes me as, well.... eek .

Quote:

How my mom thought she could name me Avalon and somehow expect me to not be interested in Pagan religion I'll never know..

Guess I'm betraying my name by not being obsessed with angels then rolleyes

The flip side of that is some people name their children with intent.  

[Deoridhe]

washu_2004

I believe that the point of this list is that it is a list of things NOT to do or say.
Anybody who does anything on this list is pretty much guaranteeing that they will annoy any Wiccan.

Except this thread is about things that pagans do, not that people do to annoy Wiccans.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

TeaDidikai

Ultraviolett1127

Perhaps not the worst thing I've come across, but the correleation between name and religion strikes me as, well.... eek .

Quote:

How my mom thought she could name me Avalon and somehow expect me to not be interested in Pagan religion I'll never know..

Guess I'm betraying my name by not being obsessed with angels then rolleyes

The flip side of that is some people name their children with intent.

True, but the impression I get from that person is that was not her mother's intent at all.  

[CuAnnan]

Recursive Paradox

How To Annoy A Wiccan Anyone

1. Be a jerk
2. Mock them
3. Don't be courteous
4. Be self righteous at them
5. Break or steal their stuff
6. Don't respect their boundaries
7. Lie about or misrepresent them for your own purposes
8. Set fire to their house
9. Play the Banana Phone song loudly and nonstop for eight hours while they're trying to concentrate on something important, finish work, or relax.

I think that's an adequate correction of that list.

While number 3 covers these, in the vaguest of terms, I believe that the following need to be mentioned
10. Display wilful bigotry and ignorance towards them
11. Violate their hospitality  

[CuAnnan]

washu_2004

...Wilful ignorance...

What makes you, for a second, think that this kind of bullshit is welcome here?  

[Recursive Paradox]

CuAnnan

Recursive Paradox

How To Annoy A Wiccan Anyone

1. Be a jerk
2. Mock them
3. Don't be courteous
4. Be self righteous at them
5. Break or steal their stuff
6. Don't respect their boundaries
7. Lie about or misrepresent them for your own purposes
8. Set fire to their house
9. Play the Banana Phone song loudly and nonstop for eight hours while they're trying to concentrate on something important, finish work, or relax.

I think that's an adequate correction of that list.

While number 3 covers these, in the vaguest of terms, I believe that the following need to be mentioned
10. Display wilful bigotry and ignorance towards them
11. Violate their hospitality

True enough. Consider my list updated. ^.^  

[too2sweet]

In a thread where someone was talking about working with Runes,...

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I didn't know there was a rune poem, that's awesome!

gonk