The funny things your band teachers have said.

[Rothieee]

Director: Fuzznut over here doesn't even know what solo he's playing.

One of the Drum Majors: It's no name calling week!

Director: If you're a SENIOR DRUM MAJOR then I'm allowed to call you a TWIT!  

[Purto Rican Barbie Doll]

Band Director: Churp Churp BRRRRR Churp churp  

[E_Cutie_222]

Trumpet Player: *empties spit valve/ spit flies*
TA: OH MY GOD! YOU GOT SPIT ON MY PANTS! EW EW EW!
Band Director: Shut up, Dalton. You're such a girly girl!
TA: But I'm a guy crying

By then the whole class was laughing at him razz

(the TA is a student who quits a class and helps a teacher for the grade)  

[ClarinetGoddess]

We got a new director. She literally just graduated college, so she is really young. Which means she is really funny and knows how to keep us under control but happy at the same time.

Today, we had band camp. We were in the auditorium and it was the last like, half hour or so.

First off:
BD: You gotta let loose!
Joe: YEEEAHH!!!
BD: Not that loose. anyway....

Just the way she said it. That exchange lasted only about a second.

Then, we have this dance after our fight song, which we call Jose.(ho-zay) Well, it jsut so happens that our new percussion tech's name is Jose.
Percussion Girl: Ms. G, can we do Jose?
BD: 0-0 Whaaaat?!?!?!
Percussion girl: the song...its a dance we do after the fight song.
BD: Oh. Oh good. Yes. Let me hear it.

then we did the dance and I'm not sur eif she was amused or horrified. its around 5 minutes and involves lots of fistpumps, yelling, the macarena, and pelvic thrusts.  

[Becka333]

"Imagine there's a Dorito in your crack and squeeze the Dorito, but don't crush it!" His method for getting us to stand right during marching season. XD  

[Fred 124]

(While taking shelter from a storm during a canceled parade)
"Okay, now everyone take off your pants."
xP
I stood up and shouted out "Ow ow~!" Which got a laugh from everyone.  

[Dai Eden]

All right, there was random music playing in the background in one of our breaks, and my BD yells "Mazel Tov!" I yell, "I gotta' feelin'!" He looks where it was coming from but I turned away and he was laughing away. xd  

[Squish-e-BeAr]

My BD was teaching the freshmans how to mark time while playing music. The freshmans couldn't move their feet in time with the metronome, so now they will be forever known as the "centipede on crack"  

[starbolt22]

Our fall marching band director is a hilarious guy. Here's just a few tidbits:

Flutes: *playing a melody that has accents in it in a way that's supposed to be aggrerssive*
BD: No no no! That's not how you do it! You have to make it dance! Imagine me in a dress, and here I am leading and dancing, *is making motions involving his imaginary dress* that's how it has to sound!

Band: *plays the climax of the ballad, these epic tied whole notes with crescendos and decrescendos*
BD: That's good, but you can do better. You know how there's ice cream at lunch? Well, this moment in the song, it has to be like this moment where you step up, above all the others, and say, "I HAVE THREE SCOOOOPS!"

And even though we don't like our all season marching band director as much, she still has her moments. We were having a meeting about band camp, and were talking about how boys aren't allowed on the girl's floor and girls aren't allowed on the boy's floor.

BD: So if you want to hook up with your friend of the opposite gender--
Everyone else in the room: *someone sniggers, which causes everyone else to let out their laughs at the BD's slip-up*

And that's why we called the common room in the basement of the college "the hook-up room". There was even a couple bunk beds in there.  

[TheCassMeow]

We have an assistant band director too so here's something funny from today XD

*While working on marching music*

Assistant: Okay, we need more of the melody to come out. So clarinets and all of you over there with the whole note, you aren't important so kinda backk off.

Band director: Really?

Assitant: Okay, you arent AS important.

Band director: Really?

Assistant: You're somewhat important.

Band Director: ....XD

Assistant: Okay you're the harmony so you're very important XDDDD

*While doing drill sets for halftime show*

Band director: What are we gonna call this formation? Hmm... the Fire Breathing Sad Egg. XDDDD

 

[Black Heart Massacred]

Class is goofing off and not even trying to play the music right.
director yells at everyone to shut up at the top of his lungs.
He takes a deep breath and says, "you guys, can you please act like young adults? I've been up all night, my dog had diarreah, my wife was bitchin at me this morning and im kind of pissed off. Now, can we please do this practice?"
Awkward silence...  

[xxCorelliaxx]

WE were going to be playing a special song for a halloween party at the school and as we were practicing there is this one part in the music where the flutes and clarinets rise up in either 2nd or fourth degrees. Either way they played and Mr. D (our director) stops us. Then he goes and describes the way to play the piece.

Mr.D: okay you play this like your gonna kill someone *makes stabbing motion while screaming* not like this *makes stabbing motions while smiling and make this really creepy high pitched giggle*

He repeated that at least five times, and by then we were on the floor laughing!  

[Shigham]

Hmmm Welllll
Band Director- HEYYYYY WHERES YOUR INSTRUMENT!
Student- well ya see it turned invisible and now I cant Find it.
BD- Hmmm *mumbles to self* Stupid Highschoolers...
Highschool helper- HEYYYY IM IN HIGHSCHOOL!
BD- Yeah exactly my point
Student- soo uhhh what do I do?
Bd- wellll if it turned invisible... Play it invisible.
Student- Are you okay?
Bd- Huuuhhhhh what yeah I just ate lunch too!
Student- I thnk shes on crack
Bd- pffffff (she almost fell off the stage)
Student- Yeppp CALLED IT!!!!  

[wizard-fox]

I remember my last band teacher would say "...and then I killed my wife" at the end of some of his stories.  

[sorrow in silence]

Well, my old director once said we had to tongue like David once, but he said "everyone tongue david"

We were all "o.o...."

He also said that our trombones had the runs