In a bad mood? come here and rant till you feel better

[Wrath of Ezekiel]

Honestly, I don't feel like giving you a lot of respect anymore. This is the same reason why I didn't decide to volunteer at your "summer camp" last year, and I would not have come to help you this year if I wasn't getting paid.

But seriously, because you're a crazy old woman, it's the only reason why the kids stay quiet around you. But then the kids don't listen to us. Why? Because you scream at the teachers and volunteers. We're all either teenagers, or the two of us who are almost 19 and 20. You scream like we don't know anything. Retail is supposedly the worst job out there, but I never saw a manager absolutely screaming at me or my co-workers, even we did something stupid.

We don't live in India, where the teacher dictates, the kids swallow and regurgitate. We live in a country where the teachers in normal schools actively ask for hands to be put up if they have a question or they don't understand something. So why do you tell them, "YOU NEVER RAISE YOUR HAND WHEN THE TEACHER TALKS, NEVER AT ALL? Where kids and teachers are allowed to drink water bottles everywhere. Yes, you kicked out the best Arts and Craft volunteer because she carried a water bottle around.

You also don't remember the kids names. We do. I know every single kid from the moment I see them. You also forget medical conditions. I had to tell you off this morning because a parent complained that "an old woman wouldn't let my daughter go to the washroom when I indicated that she has a medical issue that means if she needs to go, she GOES". You have a degree and your part-time job is a pediatrician. That counts off of work as well in volunteering situations.

Honestly, I want to complain to the administration never to hire you to have a summer camp again. Especially with this talent show bullshit. Seriously. The kids are here to have fun. Boys don't like to dance, if you force them, they won't have fun. So many kids are complaining to us that they don't like this or that. Or they've already learned the stuff you make lesson plans about. I must inform you that, within a camp from 4-12 year olds, the 10 and over have already learned about Ancient Egypt and I had to quickly improvise going from history to full on mythological comparison.

You're also the worst with the older group. While the girls have at least 3 dances for the show, you also make them do work. You never make the boys do it. You gave them soda pop, only them, for doing nothing. You don't give it to the girls, especially the oldest one, who like to help out a lot with us.

I hate you. I'm writing a letter to the administration as soon as I leave.  

[kage no neko]

I often "argue" with my boyfriend about Wicca. It's just discussing it that turns into a silly debate. He understands it a bit more now, which I'm glad of.


And I wish I could shut my freaking brain up for 10 minutes.  

[Gho the Girl]

It's discouraging to see Jesus's message so misused.

I pray that I can truly forgive them. It's hard, and I'm so vindictive, and can so easily hold another in anger and blame and judgement in my heart.

Warring with them over who is right is not my place. Were I a knight of swords, mayhaps, but my instrument is my staff of service. All I can do is speak what I feel to be true, hope it reaches them, and if not, that at the least it pleases God.  

[Nines19]

Gho the Girl

I pray that I can truly forgive them. It's hard, and I'm so vindictive, and can so easily hold another in anger and blame and judgement in my heart.

I started a sort of "forgiveness journal" to help me with that.
I try and understand why the other person is acting the way they are, and then I write down a paragraph or two stating that I understand where they're coming from even if it upsets/angers/hurts me and that I forgive them for upsetting/angering/hurting me. And then I stop thinking about it.  

[Gho the Girl]

Nines19

Gho the Girl

I pray that I can truly forgive them. It's hard, and I'm so vindictive, and can so easily hold another in anger and blame and judgement in my heart.

I started a sort of "forgiveness journal" to help me with that.
I try and understand why the other person is acting the way they are, and then I write down a paragraph or two stating that I understand where they're coming from even if it upsets/angers/hurts me and that I forgive them for upsetting/angering/hurting me. And then I stop thinking about it.

I examine what it is about them that angers me that I also see in myself.

WHen I see that we are similar, that their sins are my sins, I forgive them as I would another forgives me.  

[Nines19]

Gho the Girl

Nines19

Gho the Girl

I pray that I can truly forgive them. It's hard, and I'm so vindictive, and can so easily hold another in anger and blame and judgement in my heart.

I started a sort of "forgiveness journal" to help me with that.
I try and understand why the other person is acting the way they are, and then I write down a paragraph or two stating that I understand where they're coming from even if it upsets/angers/hurts me and that I forgive them for upsetting/angering/hurting me. And then I stop thinking about it.

I examine what it is about them that angers me that I also see in myself.

WHen I see that we are similar, that their sins are my sins, I forgive them as I would another forgives me.

That's a really good idea. 3nodding I might have to borrow it.  

[Namikikyo]

Nines19

Gho the Girl

Nines19

Gho the Girl

I pray that I can truly forgive them. It's hard, and I'm so vindictive, and can so easily hold another in anger and blame and judgement in my heart.

I started a sort of "forgiveness journal" to help me with that.
I try and understand why the other person is acting the way they are, and then I write down a paragraph or two stating that I understand where they're coming from even if it upsets/angers/hurts me and that I forgive them for upsetting/angering/hurting me. And then I stop thinking about it.

I examine what it is about them that angers me that I also see in myself.

WHen I see that we are similar, that their sins are my sins, I forgive them as I would another forgives me.

That's a really good idea. 3nodding I might have to borrow it.

Same. It sounds like it would help me a lot. sweatdrop

Recently, I've been trying a way to keep myself from eploding by imagining something exciting or amazingly happy the moment I feel my blood pressure rise.

 

[Collowrath]

I'm nervous and shaky. Classes start monday, and my school had a ******** up with the schedule - now they're making me pay off my tuition before I can even re-register (after paying a fine).

Anyways, they adjusted my financial aid because I couldn't handle how much they wanted. I should be able to pay it off today, but I'll have to do it on credit. That's what I'm nervous about... everything's going on credit, and that's something I've never done before. I'm running dry financially, physically, and mentally. I'm still not sleeping well, my dreams aren't as bad but they're still vivid and mildly disturbing... they've definitely gotten better since CuAnnan and Tea gave me advice for it (in which case, Tea, I'm going to have that art work for you soon, promise). I'm insanely grateful to you both. *sends waves of appreciation*

I just don't know what to do. I guess I should just do whatever I need to - get back in the swing of the school year, and wait to cycle again.

This isn't my personal hugbox. this isn't my personal hugbox. This isn't my hugbox.

*puts happy face back on* There's nothing to see here. smile  

[kage no neko]

It's really frustrating realizing another thing I get to add to my list of things I can't do because I'm not a normal size.
Great, ******** thanks metabolism!  

[Calixti]

I found out today that my daddy's mental deterioration is going much faster than the doctors predicted, even with therapy and medication. Now they're saying if he's alive to see me graduate from uni, he probably won't know who I am. Though in nicer words, they're big on softening the blow according to Mum.

I'm going to bake cookies. Baking makes things better.  

[kage no neko]

Awww, that really sucks Calixti, I'm sorry. :<
Yes, go bake cookies. Baking always makes you feel better, keeps your mind occupied.. plus then you get the delicious results.  

[Recursive Paradox]

There are a LOT of things people do to or around me now that I've transitioned that piss me off. And the fact that every time I try to bring those stupid things to light and complain about them, or even just nicely request that they stop, I'm the b***h, I'm the unreasonable one. Oh and how dare I tell someone to stop using transphobic slurs around me or calling attention to the fact I have a p***s every ******** 30 seconds, as though I might forget and it's their ******** responsibility to make sure I know.

I'm really reaching the point now where I simply won't be nice anymore. I will tell them bluntly and if they don't like it, I will shred their character to their face in the most intimate and harsh of ways. I am ******** done pandering to transmisogynist and sexist crap justified by willful ******** people, ******** them and their cis privileged and male privileged bullshit. I'm not giving mercy any longer.  

[Recursive Paradox]

Calixti

I found out today that my daddy's mental deterioration is going much faster than the doctors predicted, even with therapy and medication. Now they're saying if he's alive to see me graduate from uni, he probably won't know who I am. Though in nicer words, they're big on softening the blow according to Mum.

I'm going to bake cookies. Baking makes things better.

*huuuuugs*

I can skype you if you need someone to talk to.  

[IH_Zero]

I am so pissed right now, I can barely see straight. Medicaid won't pay for my son's allergy medicine, because you can get a version over the shelf. <********. That. Noise. Medicaid, he needs that medicine because he is allergic to dust mites (and cockroaches). Which are EVERYWHERE! It is medically necessary. It is medically necessary, because we like him to be able to breath well and not have constant congestion and coughing all the damn time. We do not have the money for a $30 copay, or to shell out to buy the over the counter version in the amount he is going to need.

So, fine. They want to jerk me around about every damn thing I try to get us on. Now they've got a fight on their hands. Because they ARE paying for that medicine, if I have to go to Richmond and beat the money out of them myself.  

[Lance Kibagari]

Hey, everyone's at this nice big party, everyone's having fun. Oh, I'm home, right. Guess I should get used to it.