___ ways to annoy your band director

[Belle89]

Me and my friends started an end of the year gift for our director called 1,000 (hopefully) ways to annoy your band director! We're running low on ideas so could everyone please throw some ideas out for us.

whee  

[Jumar]

i tend to wierd out my instructor by acting all happy and enthusiastic early monday morning during practice.


the wierd part is, i AM happy and enthusiastic early monday mornings for practice.


but i would say things like "Hi! how was your weekend?" and then he would respond and i would just act all happy and interested in what he has to say.  

[Ascend]

Hold up obscene signs behind his/her back while conducting, as well as bunny ears. XD  

[Fermata]

Chew gum, talk, wear sunglasses, wear a shirt that says 'its funny how the director thinks I'm listening', forget you INSTRUMENT!  

[froggyfluf]

call him up at 3 in the morning to say hi.  

[Belle89]

Some of what we have are...

pretend you're a fire alarm during long measures of rest

sit on a pillow during class and say it channels your creative energy when he wants to take it away

eat candy... offer him a piece

Have a conversation with the walls, give them names, when questioned tell him that you can't trust the ceiling so he's being shunned.

Put signs that say "musical focus exits here" by all the exits or not exits

Give him presents, things like My little ponies and his very own fart machine!  

[Fermata]

Ooh, while you're walking out of the room, say I love you and blow him a kiss...that would make mine REALLY annoyed!  

[Belle89]

That is awesome! I'm gonna do that!  

[Number_09]

Some.. Most of these kick a**!

~ Play cards with others in your section during long rests.
~ Count rests loudly.  

[Wildervast]

*digs around in music joke links*

Never be satisfied with the tuning note. Fussing about the pitch takes attention away from the podium and puts it on you, where it belongs.

When raising the music stand, be sure the top comes off and spills the music on the floor.

Complain about the temperature of the rehearsal room, the lighting, crowded space, or a draft. It's best to do this when the conductor is under pressure.

Look the other way just before cues.

Never have the proper mute, a spare set of strings, or extra reeds. Percussion players must never have all their equipment.

Ask for a re-audition or seating change. Ask often. Give the impression you're about to quit. Let the conductor know you're there as a personal favor.

Pluck the strings as if you are checking tuning at every opportunity, especially when the conductor is giving instructions. Brass players: drop mutes. Percussionists have a wide variety of droppable items, but cymbals are unquestionably the best because they roll around for several seconds.
Loudly blow water from the keys during pauses (Horn, oboe and clarinet players are trained to do this from birth).

Long after a passage has gone by, ask the conductor if your C# was in tune. This is especially effective if you had no C# or were not playing at the time. (If he catches you, pretend to be correcting a note in your part.)

At dramatic moments in the music (while the conductor is emoting) be busy marking your music so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing.

Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know you don't have the music.

Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.

Tell the conductor, "I can't find the beat." Conductors are always sensitive about their "stick technique", so challenge it frequently.

As the conductor if he has listened to the Bernstein recording of the piece. Imply that he could learn a thing or two from it. Also good: ask "Is this the first time you've conducted this piece?"

When rehearsing a difficult passage, screw up your face and shake your head indicating that you'll never be able to play it. Don't say anything: make him wonder.

If your articulation differs from that of others playing the same phrase, stick to your guns. Do not ask the conductor which is correct until backstage just before the concert.

Find an excuse to leave rehearsal about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to pack up and fidget.

During applause, smile weakly or show no expression at all. Better yet, nonchalantly put away your instrument. Make the conductor feel he is keeping you from doing something really important.  

[The Mello]

well...what we have done...

~We've played the wrong song on purpose to make him mad...
~Said our counts in Spanish
~Start dancing while at attention
~At the end of a song, hang over and play your own beautiful solo.
~Be super late, and say, "Hey! I showed up!"
~Valve oil fights near the pit equipment

there are so many more...  

[Number_09]

The Mellophonist

well...what we have done...

~We've played the wrong song on purpose to make him mad...
~Said our counts in Spanish
~Start dancing while at attention
~At the end of a song, hang over and play your own beautiful solo.
~Be super late, and say, "Hey! I showed up!"
~Valve oil fights near the pit equipment

there are so many more...

Valve oil fights are gross. >__>
I once had to separate these two really annoying trumpetters at sectionals because they were fighting and getting it all over my sandwich. (Lunch-hour sectionals suck!)  

[x__CrimsonRegret]

Put a cherry bomb in his mailbox on halloween xDD

he didn't know it was me razz  

[Dimitri_H]

Jimbo is a stressed out conductor at concert times...I found the best way to annoy him them I to continually ask him when he wants whatever task done,

take the example of relocating instrument cases and "pit" equipment to the field and stadium. while he is searching for reeds, which he often does. I ask "should I run everything down the the stadium now cutler?"...

the mind of the band director is a wonderous, and easily distracted thing.  

[__penguin__]

When you get tested in front of everyone to play the march... instead start playing a football song like louie louie blaugh