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Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 7:01 pm
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Here's the rundown. My former friend Alejandro has been irritating the living Crystal Geyser water out of me. Let me explain from the begining
Last school year, Alejandro was openly gay to a few people(well, I'm not sure if that would be considered openly or not but ok). Well, I didn't know. Only a few of his closest friends did, including my Lesbian friend Jamee(yes, its spelt wrong. Her mom though it would be cute to have it be Amee with a J so its Jamee ^^).
Well, he admited to her that he was gay but during the end of the school year, he completely denied it. She called him a hypocrite and decided she didn't want to really hang around him anymore.
Towards the end of the year though he told her that he hated her because she was a lesbian. She grew to hate him too. Then, during the summer she moved away crying .
Well, over summer school me and Alejandro had the same class. He starts telling me things about how he was "saved" and how Jamee is going to "Burn in Hell for the terrible sins against god."
Then, during this school year I come out as being gay and he kinda does the same thing. He starts wanting to get into my personal life like. He tells me things like "Well both me and you have had tragedies in our life and thats what causes it."
-glare-
I'm a bit peeved at this point in history but, since I am still very good friends with Jamee, it spreads to her. She gets very very P.Oed like.
So, she comes down to visit and Alejandro has the lower male reproductive parts to tell both of us "I'd like to fix you"
So, I find it to be a load of bologna. I'm don't feel like getting into full details but Jamee, pretty much wants his head on a pole, and I would like to just find a good Darwin book to read in front of this guy.
So, what do you all think? Should he be concered about my religious beliefs and my sexual orientation? Is he trying to convert me? Is he a dirty little C%$%@*#%^*^$ or is he a saint? Is he a hypocite like Jamee claims? Most of all, did the church(oh yeah, he changed his viewpoint and became against me and Jamee's 'faggorty' as she calls it when he started getting involved with a bunch of Methodist Priests) somehow use the powers of god to show him the 'true light' and save him from eternal damnation?
Discuss ^^
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:57 pm
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 8:53 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 11:15 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:16 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 5:20 am
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Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 12:27 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 8:04 am
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 7:19 pm
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 8:34 pm
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 9:08 pm
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:03 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:06 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:35 am
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When someone's confused about themselves, they're vulnerable to other people's influences, especially the influences of quacks.
Quacks used to travel around in wagons telling people that (1) there was something wrong with them and (2) only the quack had the cure. People who were afraid something was wrong with them or needed something to blame their troubles on would believe the quack and then spend money on his cure (which was usually alcohol disguised as medicine).
If your friend keeps flip-flopping about whether or not to accept himself, he probably has some deep pain and fear that is making him vulnerable. He has no one strong enough to lean on (his parents and other authority figures are failing him) and so he looks for an organization to lean on instead -- one that claims to know the "cause" of his pain (being gay) and claims to have the "cure" (pretending not to be gay). He hopes they are right and does everything he can to be cured...but underneath, he is still gay. That is what he is. And pretending NOT to be gay does not make him feel better because his being gay is NOT the cause of his pain and fear. Something else is. It could be ridicule; it could be that a parent abuses or hates him; it could be a terrible thing that happened to him. The point is, he is not healing it because he is pretending that being gay is the problem instead of facing his REAL issue.
Your friend is not a terrible person, but he is afraid that he is a terrible person. Imagine living that life. Someone is telling him lies about his worth. The more he believes them, the closer he'll come to making them true.
If it were me, I would sit him down and be honest without being hateful or hostile. Be the ONE person who says, "I feel some pain when you say there's something bad about me. This is who I am. I am not going to change. I wish you could love me (or care about me) just the way I am. It's hard to hear what you say about me and our friend and it does make me mad, but I still care about you. I like you just the way you are. You are who you are and that's who I care about. Please know that even if I get angry or argue with you, I care about you."
These are words he is probably NOT hearing in his life -- the idea that HE is okay the way he is, even when he's unsure of himself, even when he's afraid or hurt.
Only say it if you mean it. But if you CAN say it, then it might make a difference to him. Might not fix his problem or get him to accept himself, but it might matter somewhere deep inside. IMO. I'm not an expert. Please take these thoughts with a grain of salt. I don't know him as well as you do.
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