How to scare the a*****e away!

[11th Pheonix]

Have you ever casually been walking along a store just browsing for pointless crap you don't need?
If so has there ever been the one a*****e who thinks that your jacket is filled with every item sold in the store?
If so I'm going to provide you with multiple ((more or less)) easy tips on how to keep him out of your way!

Tips:

1. Submerge in freakish eye contact and lck your lips constantly. It is important that you DO NOT break eye contact until he leaves.

2. Burst into tears whenever he eyeballs you. Cry harder if he asks what's wrong. Stop immediatly once he leaves. Should he return, repeat until he is not a problem anymore.

3. Ask why exactly he seems to have taken a liking to the general area you are standing in.

4. Ask the question: "Does your store have a solvent that gets blood stains out of clothes, carpet and garbage disposer. If he replies "No." Then ask: "What about Goat's blood?"

5. Find a hard sturdy metal object and swing away.

6. Demand to know what right he has to walk in public due to his "Skin Condition". No condition really needded, this is just an insult.

I'm currently out of tips for now but updates will be made and suggestions are always added along with the name of the "Suggestee".

 

[Shryle]

rofl I have officially laughed my a** off.  

[11th Pheonix]

Spread the Word!

 

[titsmagee]

omg!
lol
thats funny im gonna do the licking lips one  

[Recyclable Raccoon]

xd
That's awsome, dude.  

[11th Pheonix]

Yay!

 

[titsmagee]

lol its still funny  

[mij0189]

no no no the best way ( if you a dude) to scare off a chick thats fallowing you is ack iif she wants to see you silky panties and if its a dude and you adapt a gay swager and ask if he wants to see a movie later ( see the moral of this story is to get ride of an a*****e be an a*****e  

[11th Pheonix]

mij0189

no no no the best way ( if you a dude) to scare off a chick thats fallowing you is ack iif she wants to see you silky panties and if its a dude and you adapt a gay swager and ask if he wants to see a movie later ( see the moral of this story is to get ride of an a*****e be an a*****e

I'm going to buy you a dictionary!

 

[Dark Seductress Lust]

11th Pheonix

mij0189

no no no the best way ( if you a dude) to scare off a chick thats fallowing you is ack iif she wants to see you silky panties and if its a dude and you adapt a gay swager and ask if he wants to see a movie later ( see the moral of this story is to get ride of an a*****e be an a*****e

I'm going to buy you a dictionary!

xD  

[11th Pheonix]

[~Snow White Queen~]

11th Pheonix

mij0189

no no no the best way ( if you a dude) to scare off a chick thats fallowing you is ack iif she wants to see you silky panties and if its a dude and you adapt a gay swager and ask if he wants to see a movie later ( see the moral of this story is to get ride of an a*****e be an a*****e

I'm going to buy you a dictionary!

xD

Webster is a manwhore

 

[cheesefansmile]

in my opion to get a jerk off your back that thinks your stealing (only works if your not accutaly stealing) is to open you jacket and show them there is nothing, and if they procced to be an a*****e tell them the have 20 seconds to turn around and leave you alone before you start stripping, works best if its a guy, guy or girl, girl situtaion

this one is for general assholes, just ask them if they want to be sodomized  

[11th Pheonix]

cheesefansmile

in my opion to get a jerk off your back that thinks your stealing (only works if your not accutaly stealing) is to open you jacket and show them there is nothing, and if they procced to be an a*****e tell them the have 20 seconds to turn around and leave you alone before you start stripping, works best if its a guy, guy or girl, girl situtaion

this one is for general assholes, just ask them if they want to be sodomized

I dont like you.  

[Digital Dragon of Doom]

AWESOME!! I should so use that to someone i totally hate...except he probably say that i was going to rape him or something O_o...hes a moron like that  

[Shryle]

Go up to him and perform an odd little jig while screaming at him in a demonic voice. It freaks people out... Er, not that I would know. ninja *he really knows*