popular misconceptions

[Neon~Starshine]

Is it just me, or are the best people those who deviate most from "normal" society?

The best people I've ever met are Goths.

The worst are preppies.

Granted, there are exceptions, but that's how it tends to be. Yet if a Goth and a preppie, but with the same apparent people-skills, expereince, etc., go in for the same job interview, who gets the job? The preppie, of course.

Just today, my boyfriend, who is very professional and a very valued employee at the engineering firm he works at, met a very important client today, and the guy totally looked down on him because he has his lip and eyebrow peirced.

What kind of misconceptions have you had to deal with because of your physical appearence?  

[GilAskan]

Honestly, I mean no personal offense, but you're conforming to typical stereotypes and idiotic misconceptions yourself. You're being elitest as well.

A person's interests do not affect their personalities. I know a lot of kind, selfless "preps", and a lot of self-absorbed, pretentious goths. I'm not saying that all preps are nice, nor am I saying all goths are bad. I'm saying that any given culture will good and bad people in it. If you're going to make the argument that those who deviate from society are the best people, would you consider nazis some of the best people? They too deviate from society, are different, and don't conform to normal social standards.

Also, just because someone isn't of a counter-culture or subculture (goth, punk, etc.), that doesn't mean they're a prep. Prep and mainstream are two different entities.

Now, I'm not saying that you don't have valid points. Many times, people who deviate from the standard are useful, unique, and good people. However, making the sweeping statement that (to paraphrase what you said), "Anyone who isn't normal is superior" is ignorant and discriminatory.  

[Ravisher Santinka]

that i am depressed. that my friends are bad people. that i'm a sick,wierd,psychotic freak for liking dark colors and being considered goth. i really dont dress that badly,i have only 1 goth outfit,and that's the only one.i have one ear piercing in each ear and i have 2 chokers. most of the discrimination comes from my family and parents that have young children. i'm only 16. i like who i am and they need to stop trying to change me.  

[-Resurrected Writer-]

Your friend may need to remove his piercings before going to work - even though he has a professional persona, it's not taken as a sign of professionalism when piercings and/or tattoos are visible.  

[GilAskan]

Dead Ed

Your friend may need to remove his piercings before going to work - even though he has a professional persona, it's not taken as a sign of professionalism when piercings and/or tattoos are visible.

That is also a very good point.

If an employer refuses to hire someone who comes into an interview wearing an "a**l c**t" t-shirt, the employer isn't biased against metal fans. There is a standard of professionalism in all lines of work. Some more lax, some more tight. If someone is an investment banker, for example, they'll have no choice but to dress professionally.  

[[RikuxHarada]]

That people look at my strangely and give me the silent treatment. Mostly because I think a little more logicaly then they, I'm silent in class, wear black most of the time, black hair and make up, Metal fan and I'm slightly depressed.
Why must we be treated differntly just beacsue of how we act, how we dress, and the music we listen to. Are we not people just like they. I just makes me feel discusted that people can be so cold hearted to one another just because they're different in a few ways. I mean yes I am sligtly mean to people but only if they give me a reason to and trust me most of them have.  

[Spooky Wasabi Princess]

People have thought that I might be a bit dodgy.  

[Hel Daughter of Loki]

People are people, plain and simple. Weather goth or preppie they're just what they are and saying any one group of people is better than the other is just well, personal preferance...

 

[Willie-John[Abomination]]

GilAskan

Honestly, I mean no personal offense, but you're conforming to typical stereotypes and idiotic misconceptions yourself. You're being elitest as well.

A person's interests do not affect their personalities. I know a lot of kind, selfless "preps", and a lot of self-absorbed, pretentious goths. I'm not saying that all preps are nice, nor am I saying all goths are bad. I'm saying that any given culture will good and bad people in it. If you're going to make the argument that those who deviate from society are the best people, would you consider nazis some of the best people? They too deviate from society, are different, and don't conform to normal social standards.

Also, just because someone isn't of a counter-culture or subculture (goth, punk, etc.), that doesn't mean they're a prep. Prep and mainstream are two different entities.

Now, I'm not saying that you don't have valid points. Many times, people who deviate from the standard are useful, unique, and good people. However, making the sweeping statement that (to paraphrase what you said), "Anyone who isn't normal is superior" is ignorant and discriminatory.

great point  

[Veruniel]

In all honesty, I don't find preppies all that 'normal.' The vast majority of people I meet -- the people I'd classify as normal, since they show the types of behavior I see most often -- are nowhere near as brand-conscious as the stereotypical prep.

I've never really noticed any corporate prejudice against goths either -- as long as they stay within the dress codes that are appropriate in the workplace. You wouldn't wear bondage gear to work, any more than you'd wear everyday clothes if you expected to get in the door at a fetish club. One of the things involved in getting and keeping a job is having the interpersonal skills to work well with a large group of people, and an important aspect of interpersonal skills is acting in a way that will put other people at ease in your presence. Really unusual clothing is distracting... and though there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, there are times and places where it's not polite to distract people.

I'm pretty gothy and don't consider myself a sell-out, but I do tone down my fashion sense at work. Cotton knit instead of velvet, plain straight skirts instead of netting, etc. I consider it a courtesy to others.  

[Kohanna13]

GilAskan

Dead Ed

Your friend may need to remove his piercings before going to work - even though he has a professional persona, it's not taken as a sign of professionalism when piercings and/or tattoos are visible.

That is also a very good point.

If an employer refuses to hire someone who comes into an interview wearing an "a**l c**t" t-shirt, the employer isn't biased against metal fans. There is a standard of professionalism in all lines of work. Some more lax, some more tight. If someone is an investment banker, for example, they'll have no choice but to dress professionally.

I agree sorry but that's the way it is sometimes. For my work experience (I worked at an animal college you know vet training, etc) I tied up my (longish) hair. Only wore a little jewelery (rings that my mum gave me) non-offensive shirts. And I got accepted for a course next year (didn't go) But it's all about knowing what you can and can't wear.  

[-Isel-]

Neon~Starshine

Is it just me, or are the best people those who deviate most from "normal" society?

The best people I've ever met are Goths.

The worst are preppies.

Granted, there are exceptions, but that's how it tends to be. Yet if a Goth and a preppie, but with the same apparent people-skills, expereince, etc., go in for the same job interview, who gets the job? The preppie, of course.

Just today, my boyfriend, who is very professional and a very valued employee at the engineering firm he works at, met a very important client today, and the guy totally looked down on him because he has his lip and eyebrow peirced.

What kind of misconceptions have you had to deal with because of your physical appearence?

Well, engineers are professionals. Professionals do not get lip piercings and eyebrow piercings.

Professionals should... look more like people in Esquire magazine, or GQ.

And don't go off about stereotypes. It's a professional environment, if he wants to be valued in the workplace, he shouldn't wear his piercings. The "preppie" gets the job because the "preppie" LOOKS PROFESSIONAL.  

[Freedom Fire]

When I tried out for dance company this year, they were skeptical of moving me up to Company 1 because one of the judges thought I might have an "attitude problem" because I was wearing black eyeliner and black armbands. Needless to say, I'm not allowed to wear those things to practice.  

[DreamerSpirit]

Veruniel

I've never really noticed any corporate prejudice against goths either -- as long as they stay within the dress codes that are appropriate in the workplace. You wouldn't wear bondage gear to work, any more than you'd wear everyday clothes if you expected to get in the door at a fetish club. One of the things involved in getting and keeping a job is having the interpersonal skills to work well with a large group of people, and an important aspect of interpersonal skills is acting in a way that will put other people at ease in your presence. Really unusual clothing is distracting... and though there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, there are times and places where it's not polite to distract people.

I'm pretty gothy and don't consider myself a sell-out, but I do tone down my fashion sense at work. Cotton knit instead of velvet, plain straight skirts instead of netting, etc. I consider it a courtesy to others.

Agreed.

This summer I'm going to have to go out job-hunting, and I KNOW that I'm probably not going to be allowed to wear my much beloved velvet gowns and victorian mourning attire at work, nor to job interviews... work usually isn't the place for that sort of thing.
Most of the people in the guild are teenagers, and thus are more likely to have a job working with people (ex. retail, waiting tables, etc.), and a lot of people will not want to be served by somone who, by thier standards, looks like a 'freak'. For work, dress pants, strainght skirts, and button-down tops are usually the way to go.


As for common misconceptions about goths, there are many, but as a culture we should work to overcome those misconceptions, and show people that goths aren't nessecarialy bad people.  

[Laharl Part Deux]

I don't think what culture you come from determines weather you are a good person or not. It is all based on personality and experience.In addition, all of the people nearest and dearest to me are not goth or a member of any subculture. One of my best friends who has shared so many ups and downs with me or dresses in the "prep" manner. That does not bother me a bit and I don't love her less for it.

As for piercings, tattos and work. My boss doesn't care about that. All he cares about is weather or not I can save a life. (I'm a lifeguard) but I do watch how I dress and act in front of patrons. That way they know they can trust me in a time of need. Also I plan on getting snake bites sometime during my spring break, which when I go to appy for a second job I will take out. I'm all about professionalism. It's what puts me in demand for work. Its the way to get ahead.