Your Thoughts on Infidelity.

[For-Chan Cookie]

Dictionary.com

infidelity
1. marital disloyalty; adultery.
2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
3. lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith.
4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression.

What are your thoughts on infidelity in yaoi? Be it a male cheating on a girlfriend or wife to be with the man he loves or cheating on his man to be with a women or another man. How do you feel about this? I noticed a few comments by members talking about how disgusting "Brokeback Mountain" was because of its themes of infidelity. Why is it that people are more willing to accept things like shotacon (sex with underage children) and incest/twincest, but be completely revolted by something that is becoming more and more prevalent in today's open sexual society? Discuss (intelligently please).  

[Graceful crisis]

I didn't like brokeback mountain because of the way it ended neutral (I hated his beard thing gonk )
But alot of gay movies involves cheating on your partner. I think this might be because men are more free, next to women who wants to bind themselves to their wo/man.
-Insert more meaningless babbling-
I don't really mind it when people are cheating on eachother in movies. Aah the drama @__@;  

[Pax et lux]

Well, one reason could be mainly because Yaoi/BL is just dreamy, fake material, and nothing real in the slightest. Such things exsist because those are fantasies created by women who are just like us... but in another country you could say (which could bring up the subject on how Japan views sex differently than westerners, but I won't go into detail). Of course if something like that were to happen in a real-life situation, everyone would freak and stick their noses up in the air for such a "disgusting" act.

I, personally, do not like the idea of infidelity. Not at all. No. It just seems so... heartless. Immoral. Shallow... In a real-life situation, that is.  

[blackcatluck]

well honestly, i don't like it at all. in ANY situation. if you want to be in another relationship, be a man (or woman) about it and end the one you are already in. if the reasoning behind not ending a previous relationship is "but i don;t want to hurt them" WTF? when did cheating on someone make them feel better. i highly doubt they will be like "well god thing s/he cheated on me. i couldn't take it if we broke up."

and about brokeback mountain... i have mixed feelings. either way i didn't like the cheating but i wasn't clear on who was cheating on who. the men knew each other before their wives, so were they cheating on their wives to be with each other or cheating on each other to be with their wives?  

[PhinaReiBrasil]

In today's society of throw away relationships I think that infidelity bugs me the most because that's exactly what makes relationships worthless. I mean ***** disgust me because there's just no excuse for that. But among consenting adults I think that any relationship that two people are willing to maintain for the duration is a beautiful thing.
Cheating on some one is one of the most degrading, emotionally damaging things you can do. I don't know what else to say. It tears down the person you're cheating on, it makes the person you're cheating with feel as if they're not good enough for the real thing, and it makes you nervous and guilty. I think that if you're going to take advantage of the fact that relationships are no longer seen as requiring a lifelong commitment then you should really do it and break up with the first person before you make an a** of yourself.  

[angelBmine]

^ what they all said sums it up pretty much. i HATE infedelity in real life, but tho it makes good storyline in movies and stories, i do happen to think of the cheated-on character and think "how do they feel about this?" not too happy i bet. movies influence how people act in real life. its hard for me to see the use and nice parts of relationships when i get right down to it, because, cheating is so publicized i dnt know whether my bf would do it.
-wallows in self pity-
o well, not there yet. but i still dont like it. scream  

[For-Chan Cookie]

angelBmine

i HATE infedelity in real life, but tho it makes good storyline in movies and stories, i do happen to think of the cheated-on character and think "how do they feel about this?" not too happy i bet. movies influence how people act in real life. its hard for me to see the use and nice parts of relationships when i get right down to it, because, cheating is so publicized i dnt know whether my bf would do it.

Ok, so if infidelity in real life is bad but it's ok in movies and stories which then influence people to do it in real life....how is it ok in movies? Personally, I despise stories with infidelity as a main plot point. If you really care for a person or cared for them at one time even, respect them enough to tell them what's going on. I certainly do not agree that it's ok in movies and stories, because people see that other people think its ok there and they drag it into real life figuring "Oh well, people love this movie about cheating, so it's all right." No, it's really not all right. Even in fiction, it's not a source of good things, it's only a source of ugly emotions.  

[ShadowedMoonlight]

I loathe infidelity, both in fiction and real life. In my view, cheating on someone is one of the lowest things anyone could do. If someone wants to screw around with a person other than their partner, they should end it with that partner. It is inexcusable in my view, wether part of a storyline or in reality. Infidelity is the bastardization of something that should be beautiful: the love and trust that a commited relationship should have.  

[Ace of Blue Spades]

Infidelity was not the main plotpoint of Brokeback Mountain. It was a symptom of the main plotpoint of the movie. And let's face it, a lot of relationships have infidelity in them in real life. There's no reason at all that it shouldn't be portrayed in movies/books/etc. In the case of Brokeback Mountain it's portraying (obviously) what happens when a person can't be open about their sexuality. Although I think there was some genuine feelings of love between that one guy and his wife. (I'm talking about the rodeo performer, but I can't remember their names at the moment.) There was no easy answer to their situation, and no way for someone not to get hurt.

As I see it, there's something wrong with the supposedly committed relationship for one partner or both to cheat, or there is some emotional thing going on with the cheater. There's something not happening in a relationship. Or there's some social condition straining it. Or there was a drunken one night stand that was a stupid mistake. There's just too much going into it, but as immoral as cheating is it's an understandable mistake to make. I can't really say I hate infidelity; I just hate the consequences that come with it.  

[For-Chan Cookie]

I should probably add that, you can't elliminate infidelity and cheating from works, society, etc. and frankly, I don't think that we should. More than just infidelity, I what I hate the most is glorification of infidelity, casual acceptance of cheating. I don't feel that it's something to be taken lightly. I think that people should get angry about it. It's not something to be used in the case of a romance as a source of angst, which is most commonly is. Infidelity is not pretty, it shouldn't be portrayed as such. It shouldn't be used to petty purposes. It's a nasty subject and people should come to realize that.

As for Brokeback Mountain, obviously the infidelity in the story was crushing for all involved. Men in love cheating on each other by marrying to follow the societal expectations thrust upon them and then cheating on those very same wives to be together. Who was cheating on who really? That cheating was no without a price. The story of that love, the story of that price, was heavy and beautiful. Cheating wasn't glorified. It wasn't tossed in as a casual sorce of angst. It was all encompassing, life-altering, heart shattering, and honest.  

[Aeronwyn]

I'm one of these people who really really dislikes the idea of infidelity, if you want to be with somebody then you shouldn't act upon desires to stray (I'm not saying you're not going to want to from time to time... just that you shouldn't actually do it!) My biggest gripe in a lot of the "gay" storylines you see on TV is that I've-always-thought-I-was-straight-bloke will always continue to string the wife/girlfriend along. If you're going to go off boinking someone else, have the decency to finish your current relationship first. ^^

I do think though that there's a somewhat different perception in society of a man cheating with a woman as opposed to with another man. You often get the idea that the wife/girlfriend is suffocating the guy, not allowing him to be his true "gay" self. (eg. In Brokeback Mountain Ennis' wife is seen to be something of a millstone round his neck). It's somehow not as terrible because it's "who they really are." (ie. a lying cheating scumbag... Lol.)

And possibly just because it's practically accepted in modern society that men can't remain faithful to any one partner. Eg. take the classic Todd/Karl storyline from Coronation Street (a British soap), Todd is feeling suffocated by his imminent marriage and domestic situation (one step-kid with another on the way, all at the age of 18 ); along comes Karl who represents freedom from the drudgery of settled family life. (Of course Todd continues to string his fiancee along till she finds out and the shock causes a miscarriage...) But, the point is, that we expect something like this to happen. Perhaps not with another man, but certainly for him to look elsewhere before he gets "trapped" in the relationship. It's a sad indicator of the times we live in.

I remember reading in a teen magazine in what must have been 1999 ( eek ) a problem letter from a girl who'd seen her boyfriend snogging his best boy mate (btw, he'd snuck away from her at a party to go do this, it wasn't a dare or anything). The agony aunt told her that he was probably just experimenting and that she shouldn't even bring it up with him! If that had been her best friend he'd been playing tonsil tennis with the reaction would have doubtless been rather different. - Just the usual double standards!
 

[DeadlyThorn]

Im not so big on it.. I mean its all over my family right now so its kinda bleh.
I think cheeting is a base thing to do to anyone. No matter how right you may be in doing so. If some one hurt you leave them. Then find a new mate.. Thats just me..
~Deadly