These are the descriptions of the places the swan boat will be traveling through for your romantic Tunnel of Love ride.
AREA ONE
Once you step into the swan boat you immediately realize that one) those are totally real feather and two) that somehow you have traveled down the water to what looks like a romantic garden area.
Soft music plays, you hear the laughter of couples, and there is a table and chairs with a pair sitting across from each other and leaning forward to press their foreheads together and whisper sweet nothings to one another. The scene plays out and the paused swan boat moves forward once more.
AREA TWO
As you come around the bend clouds blow in, hiding the ground and water. Building tops are visible, the moon high in the sky (does it have a face? is it singing?) as a pair dances across the clouds without a care in the world, their eyes only on each other. They dance and eventually have a romantic moment on top of a giant elephant.
It’s a little weird.
AREA THREE
Leaving the pair of dancers behind, the sound of swords clashing and fighting fills the air. Not all the parts of the ride are apparently for the disgustingly romantic sort and instead, it’s a battle as two people fight back to back, prepared to do whatever it takes to keep the other safe and see them live through the day.
A large beast appears after they’ve knocked down their foes and, with a battle cry, they charge an face it together. The scene fades as the boat is once more pulled forward on its watery path.
AREA FOUR
The lighting dims, the flicker of a fireplace the only thing that illuminates the area. There’s a couple sitting close to one another on a stuffed unicorn. The boat does not linger long in this area, instead only giving you a glimpse as things appear to be getting heated quite quickly.
AREA FIVE
As the ride comes to the last area, the path of the boat becomes unclear- water is everywhere. There are small craggy rocks in the water, flowering vines hanging from above, and the drip of what sounds like a deep cave.
Yet that feeling ends as one by one, paper lanterns start floating by and then a few float down from above landing in the water and continuing down the path the boat came from. In the distance you think you see another boat and another pair but look away as you realize they’re just about to kiss.
ambiance.
When you roll your 1D6, these are the environmental things that happen to add ambiance to your ride.
1 - a light drizzle falls from above (?!), the sound of thunder cracking drowning out conversation, and something moves among the area that you cannot quiet see. 2 - flower petals fall from above, showering you in a sweet smell that relaxes you (unless you’ve got an allergy and then it’s little bits of glitter). 3 - something stalks the area you are in, glowing eyes watching you. you cannot see it, not clearly and it makes your eyes water, but you hear the growls and swear you hear it whisper a name, your name. 4 - stepping forward from the scene (out of nowhere), the something that runs the ticket booth appears and hands over a romantic present (your choice of present to give to your partner or keep for yourself!) 5 - an eerie voice echoes through the ride. it sounds barely human and everything in the area seems to darken ominously. 6 - a slightly chill breeze blows through, making you want to press close to one another (or hug yourself).
outcomes.
When your ride comes to end, either due to malfunction or because it's simply come to an end, this is what happens.
a perfectly romantic ride.
tabIf all goes well, the swan boat ride comes out the other side of the Tunnel of Love and it’s exactly where you started. There’s no one there now, the ticket booth saying CLOSED, but as you go by you notice that your phone buzzes. Somehow there’s photos of you on instagram on the ride and there’s several very nicely done, flattering pictures of you (and whomever you went with) looking super adorable (together).
a perfectly malfunctioning ride.
tabIf things do not go well and the ride malfunctions … The swan boat creaks and protests, the sounds of gears grinding as you hear rushing water. Looking over the side you realize that a whirlpool (what the hell?!) is forming right underneath the swan boat and there’s no way to get away from it, some force trapping you in the boat. The boat, along with you, are sucked down into the whirlpool …
Only to blink your eyes and realize you are outside once more. Standing in cold water of a small picturesque pond that was nearby. A overly done archway is above you (it’s supposed to be romantic) and flowers and vines hang down from above all over again. You hear the snap of a camera but see nothing. Yet as you step out of the pond, to dry off and make sure you’re not covered in flowers, you feel something in your pocket. You reach in and discover that there’s a photo-booth style set of pictures of you (and whomever you went with) that have been done up with that super kawaii phone app. There’s also a bag of candy hearts in your other pocket. For once they taste amazing.
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 12:19 pm
"It's just over here," he said, stuffing his cold hands into his pockets. "It's pretty weird, though, so you can't say I didn't warn you." Horace had, as was becoming a theme with him, dragged out another person to check out a weird attraction. He looked at Jordan and shrugged. Maybe it was a little weird to go into the Tunnel of Love together, but it was a pretty weird tunnel.
"Are you... ready... to enter... the tunnel?" he said, dramatically.
"Dude, I've never seen one of these in real life, I didn't know they were a real thing," Jordan said, blinking at the attraction. "I thought they were, like, something cartoonists made up or something. Huh. Today I learned."
He had his suspicions as to why Horace had been vague about the nature of the thing they were going to go investigate. But that was okay. He hooked his elbow into his friend's. "I think the question is, is the tunnel ready for us?"
The Semblance of Unity
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 4:04 pm
"I know, right? I didn't expect to see one pop up in Ashdown, and it's free." Horace startled violently at the sudden linking of arms, but calmed down quickly. It was alright; it was Jordan and he'd seen it coming. Still, his heart rate kicked up a bit.
Looking at Jordan, he smiled, the pink light painting weird shadows on his face. "Nothing's ready for us. Let's go conquer this, then!" He drew Jordan along to the swan boat, which had real feathers on it (how weird!). The attendant waved them off cheerfully.
Jordan jumped a little at the small electric shock and gave Horace a quick, apologetic look. He'd forgotten, for a moment, and felt briefly guilty. But Horace calmed quickly, apparently okay. "Sorry," Jordan said anyway.
He stepped into the boat and settled down on the narrow bench. The feathers on the side of the boat looked real; he touched them and found that they felt real, too. How strange. "Seems like feathers would be weird to maintain," he commented as the boat began to move forward.
A light rain seemed to be falling, and Jordan glanced up in an attempt to see where it might be coming from. Weren't they inside? It wasn't bad, though; they'd get a little damp, but that wasn't a huge deal.
The garden area the boat was passing through was a prettily topiaried hedge area, with soft music and people laughing somewhere, the mood apparently undampened by the drizzle. A couple in rather old-fashioned clothing sat at a table on the grass. "PDA, sheesh," Jordan said, straight-faced.
Thunder cracked, and he jumped a little and looked up again, then back down to the garden as a sinuous flicker of motion caught the corner of his eye. He glanced over to Horace, silently questioning - did you see that too?
The Semblance of Unity
19
Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 6:25 pm
He waved off Jordan's apology and reached down to feel the feathers, too. "Ew, I bet it gets really rank after being in the water for a while." Still, he settled in and waited for it to move. And the, it started drizzling.
"Huh, it wasn't raining or anything last time. Maybe it's actually a new addition to the show, for those who like a little horror in their romance." He grinned. "Maybe the real horror is in that PDA, then." The movement caught his eye, but maybe it was just another addition, like the rain.
"I don't think I'd get all cozy with my lover out in the rain."
"Oh, did you come before?" Jordan flicked an opaque glance over at Horace and brushed raindrops out of his hair as they drifted out of the garden area and the drizzle slowly stopped. "It certainly adds to the ambiance in some way. I'd recommend they put in umbrellas for the actors, it'd make it cozier looking, right?"
They drifted around the next bend in the canal, and Jordan blinked at the new scene. "It's like some kind of old Hollywood musical," he said, bemused, watching the dancers on top of the elephant among the clouds. "Like those big-budget black and white things they used to make."
The appearance of the ticket-taker startled him a little, and he accepted the heart-shaped box without thinking. The something bowed and moved off fluidly across the clouds, probably going back to whatever hidden door it had come out of. Jordan laughed a little and turned to offer the box to Horace. "Chocolates? I think, anyway."
The Semblance of Unity
14
Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:42 pm
"Uh, is the moon singing?" He squinted up at the sky. "And yeah, I came here with Oliver, too - this time it's a bit different, though." The boat drifted slowly through until the attendant popped out of nowhere. Horace looked at the chocolates bemusedly.
"Only if we share 'em. That way if they are poisoned, we both go down." He grinned. "You know, I was thinking, about the whole touching thing - do you think exposure therapy would work?" The water lapped quietly against the sides of the swan boat.
"Aw. I thought I was special." Jordan made a show of dramatically fluttering his eyelashes and pretending to pout.
"Sure, I'm not averse to mystery chocolate. You want me to test it first, or will you take the plunge yourself?" He laughed, then looked a little more serious as he considered the question. "It's a classic method," he answered. "Could very well be helpful in getting you used to the idea."
The swan boat drifted on, and the next scene was a more martial one, like a dramatic movie battle. "Whoa," Jordan said. "They went all out on this, didn't they? Exciting. Get 'em!"
A shower of drifting petals accompanied the scene, almost incongruous; Jordan brushed a few off Horace's shoulder, being careful to telegraph the motion and be slow enough about it that Horace could pull away if he wanted to.
The Semblance of Unity
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:43 am
"But you are special!," he protested laughingly. "Or, at very least, you're something else." He was nervous about exposure therapy, but at least he had good people helping him. Maybe he wouldn't keep over dead. He tensed when Jordan's hand inched closer, but let it happen. Since he say it coming, no one was shocked, which was always more pleasant.
He let his thigh knock into Jordan's, too distracted by petals and hands to watch much of the fight. A shame, that: he ad so enjoyed it the first time. "Why don't we go out together then - death by poisoned chocolates. Gimme one." And he plopped his mouth open comically and pointed at it. Feed me, Jordan.
Jordan laughed and opened the box. He extracted a chocolate, said, "If it's got coconut I take no responsibility," and plopped it into Horace's mouth. He then offered the box to Horace with an inquiring look.
The next scene made his eyebrows pop up. "Is that a unicorn?" he said. "Seems like an inconvenient kind of perch. For that kind of thing." The scene was dimly lit, but still visible enough to be obvious where it was going. "Well then."
The Semblance of Unity
9
Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 8:00 pm
Horace chewed it thoughtfully. It was, in fact, coconut, which was okay because coconut was delicious. "Hey, no, you gotta have one too! I don't want to die of poisoned chocolates alone." He sighed dramatically. "taste good, though."
His attention was almost immediately arrested by the unicorn. It reminded him of a music video, something about starting fires in a Taco Bell. "Mmmhmm, I saw this before. It's best to look away now, before they get really horny." He huffed out a funny little breath that was just Horace trying not to laugh as his own stupid little pun.
"I really don't think some of the things they try are really anatomically possible, or even fun..." He heard his name and turned to look at Jordan again. "Did you just... say my name - kinda low, demonic-y?"
"I just hope that when we collapse, it's in suitably dramatic swooning poses," Jordan said, and ate a chocolate. It had caramel in it. "Not dead yet, anyway."
He groaned obligingly at the pun. "That was really corny. Uni-corny, even."
A flicker of motion caught his eye in one of the dim corners, and he turned to look. Nothing seemed to be there. He shook his head at the question. "No, I didn't say anything. Did you see something just now?"
The scene with the now embarrassingly involved couple and the unicorn slipped past, and the boat emerged into a cave-like area with vines hanging from above and water dripping. "Oh, hey, this is pretty," Jordan said, but he jumped a little as something whispered his name, soft and ominous. "Uh, I think I heard it ..."
The Semblance of Unity
6
Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 6:38 pm
Horace debated swooning right off the boat then and there, but the fun factor was outweighed by the cold and wet. He stayed in the boat. The 'uni-corny' got a smirk. "That's terrible." The boat moved forward and vines hung all around them.
To be honest, it look exactly like that one scene in The Little Mermaid... the one where they kiss. He twisted his head around. "Don't see anything... and I don't hear anything anymore." Then he saw it. "Look, there's a couple in front of us." He pointed, squinting. Were they going to kiss? Did she have red hair?
Oh my god, what if Horace was supposed to be their Sebastian...?
"Sha la la la la, don't be shy," he sang softly as they couple leaned their heads together.
Jordan muffled a giggle and complained, "Oh my god, earworm," but very quietly, so as not to interrupt the scene being set. The other boat passed behind a hanging curtain of vines, concealing the impending kiss. "You don't look very crabby, though."
The swan boat sailed serenely along through the vine-hung waterway, and when they rounded the corner, the other end of the tunnel became visible, with no other boat in sight. The boat slowed as it went past the now-closed ticket booth, and came gently to a stop at the platform. Jordan climbed out and turned back to offer a hand to Horace, smiling. "That was fun."
