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Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 6:59 am
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UNDER MY LOA LOA LOA, EH EH EH
It was a combination of bodily aches and nervous relectance, but Hollandaise moved slowly through the undead dorms, as though she were swimming instead of walking. The dorm was cool, cooler than her own and she forwned, goosebumps prickling around her calves. She knew the reasoning behind the temperature - most dead were in some sort of decomposition. Part of her still thought that decomposing bodies should be the ground, used as feed for green and growing things. But she could admit, albeit a little reluctantly, that not all undead were like that. Aisha hadn't even seemed undead... Thezil had been.... weird, but not decomposing. Still, instinct had her sliding through the more shadowed parts of hallways, avoiding other students and flinching at small noises.
Aisha's room was one a nicer floor, she thought distractedly, although she knew the topmost floor or so was reserved for vampires. Hollandaide had heard their arrogance rivaled even demon's. Thinking of Zar, she snorted and continued onward, almost passing by the door twice. She was here. Her heart beat a rought tattoo in her chest, and her throat felt uncomfortably tight. Hollandaise had left things for Aisha, gifts, and then Aisha had gone with Deszeld (not Aisha's fault), but also kissed Deszeld (very much Aisha's fault). Hollandaise still wasn't sure how she felt - two wrongs didn't make a right, but she felt like maybe, just maybe, they were both wrong a little bit. With a deep breath, she knocked timidly, the sound gentle and soft.
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Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2014 12:46 pm
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Hollandaise had barely begun to look awkwardly around the room when something fluttery smacked into her. It was small, kind of pudgy and very, very soft for a little bat. Instinctively, her arms moved to cradle the minipet. "T-Twizzler!" The warder's face lit up in a smile, the first real one she'd made since the dance. Twizzler made small noises of delight as it squirmed in her grasp, seeking out the scratches it was used to. She had missed the little beast, especially after going to her cold, sparse room. For a brief moment, she closed her eyes and exhaled, thinking how easy it would be to take Twizzler and bolt. Turning slowly, she faced Aisha and shrugged a little.
"Uh, Twizzler seems happy here. It's a... nice place."She felt awkward, more than awkward, upset and guilty and a myriad of unpleasant emotions when all she wanted to feel around Aisha was the pleasant friendship they'd had before. Aisha even kept plants.
"I...I'm sorry." It wasn't enough of an apology, she knew. Aisha wasn't disgusting and really, how had she let what seemed such a little thing now feel so big before? Aisha wasn't decomposing, or disgusting, falling apart in rotted pieces. Her loa glowed with a comforting light. Hollandaise's hands tightened around Twizzler and the bat squeaked in protest. She let it go, watching as Twizzler flipped-flopped its way to Aisha. Her mouth openeed, and closed, and she wrapped her arms around herself.
"Why did you kiss Deszeld?"]
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 8:12 am
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Hollandaise frowned. Aisha's words were, at best, a non-answer, and at worst, they were flat-out avoidance. The warder shifted uneasily and caught herself, stopping the movement; she nearly reached a hand for her hair, for her leaves, and stopped it. Nervous gestures, more signs of weakness she did not feel like showing. Hips rolling slowly, she walked to Aisha's desk and lowered herself into the seat with careful movements, crossing one leg over the other. To remain standing would've caused her to fidget, to squirm and tap toes and shift as though she were a nervous child dragged somewhere all unwilling. As it was, she was still all stiffness and nerves and more 'what-if-screw-up-again's. Her hair she neatly flicked out of the way - she had often sat on it and the consequential sharp tug was always annoying.
"I am glad," she said slowly, in a tone that meant she was not sure she spoke the truth. "-that you enjoyed the dance." Hollandaise reached up a hand to rub at her still-swollen eyes. She had cried more after coming to this school than in her entire 50 years before. Aisha's next words were met with eye widened and Hollandaise's face seemed to crumple a bit. "Deszeld does not like m-me - she said she n-never wanted t-to see me again." Quickly, she inhaled, a creaky, gasping noise, and pasted a strained smile back in place, before abruptly launching back into speech.
"I know I said some awful things and I'm sorry - you aren't disgusting, you don't have bits falling off or goop or anything. I'm sorry I reacted badly and I know I hurt you and I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but... I miss being your friend." It was probably weak, as far as apologies went, but Hollandaise wasn't sure what else to say. Aisha had been easy to talk to and she missed that. Hollandaise felt weighed down. Nothing was going quite right at this school and while she wasn't sure how (except in this - here, she knew how she was at fault), she knew it was her doing. Aisha, the stalking, Deszeld. She curled her toes uneasily against the floor, unable to look the undead ghoul in the eye.
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 10:47 am
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Hollandaise waited until Aisha had spoken, emotions swirling uncomfortably in her chest. She didn't believe the ghoul's words about the dragon at all. If Deszeld liked her, then how could she have been so cruel? The way she'd kissed Hollandaise had been nothing like the obvious gentleness Aisha had gotten. A flicker of jealously passed through her and ruthlessly, she tried to stamp it out. Deszeld was less important now. Or rather, not less important,. but more hopeless a cause. So she did not respond to Aisha's words on Deszeld, not yet.
"I don't want to be here, this school..." she said lowly, before looking up. Her voice changed, became almost casually conversational, as though she were speaking of the weather. "Did you know that I'm not allowed back, or to write, or anything unless I become a more perfect warder? I don't get a home until I prove myself. But all the things they taught me are unraveling - that undead are unnatural and should never have been reanimated. But if you hadn't come out of a pumpkin or been reanimated I would've never met you and I like you. I was so shocked and I felt so stupid for not noticing what you were and it felt like I was betraying... disappointing the Elders all over again." Her fingers twisted with each other in her lap. The comments about Zar were ignored - Hollandaise liked picking at him on Critter, for some unfathomable reason. "I'm trying to change, but it's... hard."
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 11:08 am
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Hollandaise gave Aisha a grateful but shaky smile, folding the ghoul's hand in hers. She had been worried about being forgiven, but it seemed like they could be friends. Her shoulders slumped a little in relief, causing the leaves to rustle. Hollandaise had missed Aisha.
"I cannot-" She made a small, helpless motion with her hand, her mouth twisting. "-just assume everything they taught me is wrong. I have to become a normal Warder, not this thing I am now. Obviously, some of what they say can't be trusted... but how do I know which? Thank you, though." It was all very confusing for the younger warder. She squeezed Aisha's hand and laughed faintly. Her toes tapped against the floor.
"I do not think I can be everything I need to, not when I keep screwing things up. With you, with Deszeld." Hollandaise fell silent, eyes burning. Deszeld didn't care about her anymore and she had no idea what to do. "I am not good at fixing things, Aisha."
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