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 Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 12:11 am
Okay so back story: I had an assistant a few months back and part of my former job was to be in contact with him constantly during the work day if ever we were separated which happened often because we were a really productive group so we were usually taken to different sections to cover for someone else, our only problem was that we talked a lot. Neither of us could stand a quiet work place and there was no policy against talking so we talked while we worked. Our topics had no boundaries, everything was up for discussion except marriage, we agreed not to bring that up for the sake of his sanity. [I'll explain the marriage thing in a bit.]
So anyways, we grew really close because spending almost nine sometimes ten hours a day with each other we had a lot of conversations. We learned things boss' and employees shouldn't really learn or know about each other.
For instance he has an obsession with eating fish and pudding. I'm 'violently' allergic to all seafood and shell fish so when I would move away from him when he ate or offered me some of it, he pieced together that it was an allergy. I don't really blatantly tell people "hey one bite of this could kill me" so for him to have figured it out I was surprised, then I remembered he's training to be a nurse.
Other things included his early riser issues, he actually wakes up everyday at four am, to exercise, train and then shows up to work like clockwork at seven am. He's never late. So the one time he forgot to call me ahead of time and notify me when he was, since the main office secretary is a bit forgetful, he spent the whole day trying to make it up to me because he felt like he disappointed me.
[Truth be told I was a little angry because I thought he had quit, I mean a person being an hour late with no calls coming in about why... wouldn't you have been kinda pissed too?]
So back to the point.... I know intimate details about him and vice versa, and most of our after work conversations never really revolved around work it was usually one of us seeking out attention because the other was bored or wanting a favor. For instance if he had plans to go out or something, he'd text me telling me to bug him at some point about some work emergency so he could sneak away and not be called a d**k for ditching his friends. And every morning he'd either send me snapchat's every five minutes of himself in the parking lot or he'd text me asking if I could let him sit in the office break room until his shift because he didn't want to freeze to death outside because he 'knew i'd miss him'. Recently he went out of the country for family purposes and he's emailing me pictures daily telling me how things are going for him.
The dilemma is I know his parents are planning an arranged marriage for him [which he refuses to accept] and I don't know if I am just his friend or what but I feel like if we continue as we are now that someone might get the wrong impression. I know I'm no saint and I suck when it comes to guys but will it be smart of me to create a distance? Or am I completely misunderstanding and should I just consider this nothing but my own fears?
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Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2013 12:11 pm
❊ - - - ⊰ ▍K a e l a 2 0 1 5 ▍ - - ⊰ ▍L u s t n M i s e r y ▍
XXXXX ❝This sounds so super sweet! :3
That arranged marriage thing though... Is that part of his culture? If he doesn't want the arranged marriage, he should fight against it, but if that is part of his family's tradition, that's another story that he is going to have to handle on his own.
I guess my advice depends on your feelings for him. It seems as if he has at least a little bit of romantic feeling towards you, with all the snapchats and emails with pictures in them and such, but do you have those feelings for him?
If you don't, then I suggest you create at least some distance, perhaps make your friendship a bit more professional if you still work together. Perhaps that will chill things down a bit and it will keep things from blowing up with his situation or people getting the wrong ideas.
But if you do have feelings for him, then you need to decide whether or not you should let things calm down before you give it a chance - so you both can avoid people getting the wrong impression and his whole arranged marriage situation blowing up because of it-, or if you should let all of this continue.
Overall, the obvious: talk to him about it. see what is going on, what is possible, whether or not you two are relationship-worthy, and discuss what is best (aka, whether or not you guys should distance yourselves a bit).
I hope my advice helped. Seems like you are in a bit of a sticky situation!
Best of luck <3 ❞
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Posted: Sun Dec 01, 2013 5:16 pm
Thank you for the advice, currently we don't work together anymore but that didn't stop us from communicating as much as we use to.
Arranged marriage sadly is part of his culture, he's a bit older than the usual marrying age and doesn't have children so his parents are really pushing the grandchildren necessity at him, causing him to stress about it.. It's one of the reasons we stayed away from the topic.
I really don't know if I have those feelings for him, I do miss him now but that's probably just separation anxiety or something. I'm not sure if talking about this with him via email is appropriate or if maybe i should wait till he comes back in a few weeks.
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