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 Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:25 pm
I have a boyfriend but I secretly like another guy who is one of my friends. I mean heres the summary of whats happening since I'm not gonna tell the story that would take too long. I have this boyfriend lets call him A, well A and I started going out on valentines day, and hes a REALLY sweet guy, real mature and its hard to find a nice guy like this who is mature and actually cares and all that but then i have this other friend he can be B, well me and B are frenemies in a way, (we make fun of each other, say mean things, joke around, etc.) but the past couple weeks i've realized i really like him and my best friend, M, she likes B but I dont want to tell her that I like B also because i wouldnt want to hurt her feelings and make her depressed and have to find someone else to like.
I just dont know what to do. I know its a bad thing but I just want opinions. If A were to find out, our relationship would be over for sure and it would seem like I had been "cheating" on him the entire time. If M were to find out would she still be my friend? I mean I dont want boys to get in between our friendship but I feel guilty for liking someone she told me she already likes. Please help?
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Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:38 pm
The whole liking another guy while dating someone thing? That's kind of normal, in my experience. When we're young our mind is just...everywhere. I have a similar situation to yours, except my 'best friend' (She thinks I'm her best friend but honestly? She gets on my nerves) likes my boyfriend and has had a stupid habit of liking every guy I date and have ever dated. Yet she never tells me, I always have to hear it from the guy I am dating. Anyway.
I would not worry too much about your feelings for this other guy. These things tend not to last
long in the grand scope of things, so the less your worry about it and think of him lovingly, the easier
it will be to move on. Just have fun with your boyfriend! I'm in your shoes too, I still have feelings
for a crush of mine while I'm with someone now. I haven't told my boyfriend, and I'm not sure if my crush
is still aware of me, but there are things you just have to keep to yourself. Day by day I start to like
this other guy less and less and truly appreciate someone that cares for me. The difference between
you and I is that your other crush is one of your friends and my other crush does not know I exist.
Telling your other crush about your feelings might help get you over him, but be careful with that.
Plus it's harder than it sounds.
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Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:43 pm
Captain Silas Manner The whole liking another guy while dating someone thing? That's kind of normal, in my experience. When we're young our mind is just...everywhere. I have a similar situation to yours, except my 'best friend' (She thinks I'm her best friend but honestly? She gets on my nerves) likes my boyfriend and has had a stupid habit of liking every guy I date and have ever dated. Yet she never tells me, I always have to hear it from the guy I am dating. Anyway.
I would not worry too much about your feelings for this other guy. These things tend not to last
long in the grand scope of things, so the less your worry about it and think of him lovingly, the easier
it will be to move on. Just have fun with your boyfriend! I'm in your shoes too, I still have feelings
for a crush of mine while I'm with someone now. I haven't told my boyfriend, and I'm not sure if my crush
is still aware of me, but there are things you just have to keep to yourself. Day by day I start to like
this other guy less and less and truly appreciate someone that cares for me. The difference between
you and I is that your other crush is one of your friends and my other crush does not know I exist.
Telling your other crush about your feelings might help get you over him, but be careful with that.
Plus it's harder than it sounds. Thank you so much for the advice heart And it does seem harder than it sounds. I used to have a really good friend like that who would just like every guy I liked, but she ended up actually not being the friend I thought she was gonna be. She started saying I said mean things to her which I never did and when I asked her what I said she said she didnt know rolleyes But I have better friends now whee
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Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:52 pm
You're welcome! I'm glad to help. heart
I have thought about moving on from that friend of mine, it's just tough because my boyfriend is
close with her. I'm honest with him though and have told him of my woes several times and he understood. I still think of him as my close friend despite our intimacy. We started out as platonic friends for a year and a half, then dated out of the blue. I'm not used to that sort of transition..
Anywhooves, I hope you can sort our your sticky situation and keep your friends. It's great to help others with their problems when you face some of your own, it helps me think of solutions to my problems too. Double win!
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Posted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 11:00 pm
Captain Silas Manner
You're welcome! I'm glad to help. heart
I have thought about moving on from that friend of mine, it's just tough because my boyfriend is
close with her. I'm honest with him though and have told him of my woes several times and he understood. I still think of him as my close friend despite our intimacy. We started out as platonic friends for a year and a half, then dated out of the blue. I'm not used to that sort of transition..
Anywhooves, I hope you can sort our your sticky situation and keep your friends. It's great to help others with their problems when you face some of your own, it helps me think of solutions to my problems too. Double win!
Thank you so much! heart
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