After making topics about your partner age or salary, here comes another topic : Outer beauty or physical appearance....
What if a guy has everything that you like (it can be anything such as qualities and personality) except his physical appearance....and he asks you to date him...
Would you say yes ? Do you think you can be only his friend ? Do you think love can grow ? -----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------- The reason why I am asking that, is because my friends or family will always judge the physical appearance such as ''he is so ugly, why are they dating ? It is so mean. Even if you find that person unattractive they should just keep it to themselves.
If your partner's friends and family say that you're ugly , that he shouldn't date you , how does that feel ?
Hurtful, right ? That's why I will never say anything about their physical appearance.
So, a guy asked me to date him. I am not attracted to him, but I am dating him because I am giving him a chance... Because I felt, it is mean to say no only because I am not attracted to his appearance.
Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:26 am
I agree on appearance not being everything, though a lot of girls say that I lie when i say that. Then my fiance loses his shirt (prank) and we can see that he is a bit flabby, though he is tall and skinny. Watching the faces of all the girls was worth it. He might not be buff, but he has a great attitude, which I find to be more important.
Well first, I think it's great that you're giving this guy a chance. Appearance really isn't everything. I've also gotten crap about the guys I've dated from my friend and family, even gotten crap about dating guys of a different race. Ignoring them is probably the best. I do believe that you the love does have a chance to grow. But if his appearance really does bother the hell out of you, maybe you shouldn't be with him. My opinion :3
Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:36 am
I think physical appearance matters to an extent.
There is no harm in giving any guy a chance to grow on you, but there is also no harm in thinking a guy just isn't good looking and you don't want to date them for that reason. To me, I would think for the "perfect" (nothing is perfect, but for lack of a better word haha) match, they would have to have a great personality that fits you and look good to you. What you find attractive all depends on you, the guy you like could be butt ugly to someone else, so it's all subjective.
For me, I would definitely want to be attracted to my guy (and I am ; w; haha). He doesn't have to be everyone's cup of tea, he just has to be attractive to me. He fits in personality and appearance, and that's the best match to me, haha. If I wasn't attracted to him, I'm not sure how long it would last. I could and probably would grow to love him (since I can't help but love all my friends), but I don't think I could ever be in love. I need that "perfect" match, and otherwise I would always think he's lacking in that department if I didn't like the way he looked, and that wouldn't be fair to him.
In the case of your situation with your family and friends, I've had to deal with that before. I can always tell when my mom doesn't like the way someone looks (whether it be my friends or my boyfriend), whether she outwardly admits it or not (and she has when it comes to some things). I know it can hurt, but I always try and think of it as not mattering. If I like the way they look, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. In my friend's cases, it obviously doesn't matter if I found them attractive or not (but I do know some really pretty girls haha), since I'm not going to be romantically involved with them. In my partner's case, I would still want to be attracted to him.
I would never tell my friends or family that I found their partner ugly, or ask why they're dating them just because I don't find them attractive. I think one of my friend's boyfriend is ugly, but as I said before, it doesn't matter what I think when it comes to someone else's partner. Unless he's being an abusive a*****e and hurting her, then I wont interfere in any which way, she is the one that needs to find her partner attractive in looks and personality, not me. If they ever asked me what I thought about their partner, I would just honestly say they're not my cup of tea if I didn't like the way they looked. I wouldn't flat out say they're ugly and shame him for dating them because of it.
But of course that's all me, in your case, it's nice to hear that you're dating, and while you may not find the guy attractive, for you it doesn't matter, so it's all good. 3nodding
Well first, I think it's great that you're giving this guy a chance. Appearance really isn't everything. I've also gotten crap about the guys I've dated from my friend and family, even gotten crap about dating guys of a different race. Ignoring them is probably the best. I do believe that you the love does have a chance to grow. But if his appearance really does bother the hell out of you, maybe you shouldn't be with him. My opinion :3
Thanks, for the advice ! I just feel a little bad for him because he likes me, but I don't. I go out with him just to get to know him more. He is very kind...
Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 7:56 pm
Yokies
I think physical appearance matters to an extent.
There is no harm in giving any guy a chance to grow on you, but there is also no harm in thinking a guy just isn't good looking and you don't want to date them for that reason. To me, I would think for the "perfect" (nothing is perfect, but for lack of a better word haha) match, they would have to have a great personality that fits you and look good to you. What you find attractive all depends on you, the guy you like could be butt ugly to someone else, so it's all subjective.
For me, I would definitely want to be attracted to my guy (and I am ; w; haha). He doesn't have to be everyone's cup of tea, he just has to be attractive to me. He fits in personality and appearance, and that's the best match to me, haha. If I wasn't attracted to him, I'm not sure how long it would last. I could and probably would grow to love him (since I can't help but love all my friends), but I don't think I could ever be in love. I need that "perfect" match, and otherwise I would always think he's lacking in that department if I didn't like the way he looked, and that wouldn't be fair to him.
In the case of your situation with your family and friends, I've had to deal with that before. I can always tell when my mom doesn't like the way someone looks (whether it be my friends or my boyfriend), whether she outwardly admits it or not (and she has when it comes to some things). I know it can hurt, but I always try and think of it as not mattering. If I like the way they look, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. In my friend's cases, it obviously doesn't matter if I found them attractive or not (but I do know some really pretty girls haha), since I'm not going to be romantically involved with them. In my partner's case, I would still want to be attracted to him.
I would never tell my friends or family that I found their partner ugly, or ask why they're dating them just because I don't find them attractive. I think one of my friend's boyfriend is ugly, but as I said before, it doesn't matter what I think when it comes to someone else's partner. Unless he's being an abusive a*****e and hurting her, then I wont interfere in any which way, she is the one that needs to find her partner attractive in looks and personality, not me. If they ever asked me what I thought about their partner, I would just honestly say they're not my cup of tea if I didn't like the way they looked. I wouldn't flat out say they're ugly and shame him for dating them because of it.
But of course that's all me, in your case, it's nice to hear that you're dating, and while you may not find the guy attractive, for you it doesn't matter, so it's all good. 3nodding
Thanks for your detailed advice ! I'm not sure if physical appearance really matters to me, I'll see... I told him that we are dating just to learn about each other more, that we are not officially a couple and he agreed.
You're welcome! I was actually surprised it was so long, but then again I think everyone knows by now that I'm really talkative haha. Ah well that's good, as long as you're both on the same page then things should be a-okay. 3nodding
Posted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:21 pm
Personally, looks do not matter what so ever to me.
I'm pansexual, so yeah.
If I met someone who was everything I wanted but looked like an imp, it wouldn't matter to me because they were what I was looking for. =| But, in your case, you shouldn't drag him on if you're never gonna be into him. Saying, "No, you're ugly." Would've been bad too, though. Lol. If you can learn to love him, then yay...
I dunno.
The end.
Fuit Gummy
Sweet Gaian
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:39 pm
CasuaIty
Personally, looks do not matter what so ever to me.
I'm pansexual, so yeah.
If I met someone who was everything I wanted but looked like an imp, it wouldn't matter to me because they were what I was looking for. =| But, in your case, you shouldn't drag him on if you're never gonna be into him. Saying, "No, you're ugly." Would've been bad too, though. Lol. If you can learn to love him, then yay...
I dunno.
The end.
xd yeaah... He does not have everything I want (ideal partner regardless of the looks), but my friend told me the ideal/perfect man doesn't exist. I think my friend is right, so I'm still giving him a chance..We are going to date this week-end.
Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:25 pm
I think dating someone or not dating someone solely on appearance is actually pretty selfish; what does it matter that someone grew to look the way they did, something that is not able to be changed except with lots of money which is a complete waste. I've dated a male with low self esteem because of his weight, and people would pick on him for it; meanwhile, I didn't care. Appearance matters very little too me. It would only matter in very extreme cases where the person was like... too big to even move, or something. I don't think I could handle that, not because of looks, but because of how that'd effect the relationship. But it's almost impossible for me to call someone ugly because of how little appearance matters, and that I'm not very picky. I mean, there are my preferences of, "Oh yeah, that guy is hot", but yeah. Or "That girl has too much make up on", or whatever; not specifically an insult, and nothing that I would be like "You're hotter, let's date" or anything; that's stupid in my opinion. I also happen to be pansexual though, so. Lol.
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