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 Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:25 pm
I'll keep it short:
I have dated this guy off and on for 6 years.(I will be 20 on March 19th)
The relationship was fine at first. I started doing some growing up and changed because...I'll admit that I was a bit bitchy. He grew up and just...started to not talk to me as much. I use to go to him with problems and he would console me and viceversa.
Now? I'll go to him upset and he won't reply for 2-3 days. Then when I'm happy, he's all for talking to me. Our relationship is one-sided when I'm upset, but mutual when I'm happy. I would be there for him more, but he stopped opening up to me. Whenever I try to be serious with him, he won't speak to me.
He gives me a tiny bit of love with hardly any affection and no encouragement. How do I even deal with that? I keep feeling like it's time to completely move on, but my heart breaks at just the thought.
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Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:19 am
I hate to break it to you, but it may very well be time for you to move on. A relationship does take two people, and this guy does not seem like he is giving you all that you need and deserve.
Have you tried telling him how you feel?
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Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:35 pm
Yes.
I explained to him EVERYTHING that I felt last night. He knows how life at home is for me, but he tells me that he's tired of listening to me complain about even though I stopped going to him about after he got on my case about it a couple of years ago.
But if I can't depend on the one that I love to be there for me, what is there for me in the relationship? I told him that and he has YET to say anything back to me.
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Posted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:34 am
I have to agree with Dionnysia. It may just be time to separate.
All he's doing is avoiding the issues. You want to be able to talk to him, you want to know he's at least there for you, but he's not willing to do either. He can't just be there for the rainbows and sunshine and then scurry off when he starts to hear thunder. He's avoiding the problems and ignoring you because he doesn't want to deal with anything, he doesn't want to have to fix anything, he doesn't want to help you when you really need him. He simply just doesn't want to put forth the effort. It's easy to hang out with someone when they're happy, and that's basically all he feels like doing, which isn't right. You need someone who will be there for every part of you, the "good" and the "bad". While I understand that sometimes a person might feel overwhelmed or annoyed and they just want you to go to someone else, he should at least acknowledge when you're upset and try to be supportive. He can't just shut you out because he doesn't feel like dealing with you, and really, if he sees the relationship that way, that isn't good.
It'll hurt letting him go, you're used to him being in your life, whether he's actually "there" for you or not. He's been with you for so long so getting used to life without him will be hard, but I feel like at this point it'll probably be best for you. You're hurt because your boyfriend wont talk to you when you want to be serious with him, wont acknowledge you when you're upset, can't support you with any kind of problem because he doesn't want to hear it, and just completely shuts you down because he doesn't want to work on any of the problems with you. Instead of working with you, he'd rather avoid you, and that's not fair. I think in the long run, moving on will be better for you. You yourself are even questioning what you have in the relationship if he can't be there for you, so I think you're starting to realize it's run it's course.
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