How easy is it for you to...

[Freebie User]

How easy is it for you to forgive?

If your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't do a chore or ignores you or even cheats on you, how do you cope? Do you forgive and forget? Or perhaps you make him/her make up for it? How do you fix these situations, and when do you say/think enough is enough?

I'm thirteen and I've never had a boyfriend, but since everyone here has more experience then me, I'd like to know your opinion on this topic.  

[Maddy-Mazey]

Everyone deals with it differently. Some can forgive. Even forget. But my personal opinion on cheating is that there is no forgiveness. and ignoration isnt cool at all >_> You'll learn on your own how well you can handle certain things ^-^  

[EarlsGarden]

Like madelyn said everyone deals with it differently.
For me I would think that the person wouldn't be worth my time. I would just move on.

 

[Sinister Dork]

Like the two women above me say! Everyone deals with it differently. My opinion if someone cheats say good bye to them cause once a cheater always a cheater. Well, in my opinion if my bf ignores me when it comes to a chore which normally he don't. I would just ignore him if he wants something done just so he knows how I feel but some people would disagree with me xD  

[Cinematographer Girl]

Cece Dusk

How easy is it for you to forgive?

If your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't do a chore or ignores you or even cheats on you, how do you cope? Do you forgive and forget? Or perhaps you make him/her make up for it? How do you fix these situations, and when do you say/think enough is enough?

I'm thirteen and I've never had a boyfriend, but since everyone here has more experience then me, I'd like to know your opinion on this topic.

I'm almost 17 and I don't have experience with dating..... sweatdrop  

[HimeFiveCents]

I have to disagree with "once a cheater always a cheater" I don't think you should take this platitude as a way of life, although I used to feel exactly the same way, until I was that cheater! -_- long story short, my bf decided to work on our 3 month ani when I wanted him with me- should have just told him instead of hinting but i didnt know that then. I got very drunk and messed around with a guy who had a gf too. I ended up telling my bf because i felt horrible and i didn't want our relationship based on deceit; i felt he had gone through enough of that with his ex-wife and the other girls he had dated. I know myself how it hurts to be lied to about that. so i told him. He was hurt, and it took a lot of talking and soem time apart but he forgave me. He knew, like I did, that I was not like that when I was sober and I didn't want to be like that. It was a mistake, a really stupid mistake that I made... honestly I don't think that I deserve to be forgiven for it either, I still get really ashamed when I think about it. but I know I don't want to do it again. I haven't and I won't because I love him and don' want to hurt him. He has admitted the mistakes he made in his past: he slept with his best friend's gf and lost that best friend and spent a long time wondering what the hell did I do that for, whats wrong with me? he still hasn't forgiven himself for that he tells me and misses his friend. He told me that made it easier for him to forgive me, understanding that we can all do really dumb things when certain feelings are involved. What you do after it matters too. I trust him because he tells me he doesn't want to hurt me and I know I don't want to hurt him again. And then love ends up being even more complicated than anyone ever could have guessed! 4laugh Situations can differ very greatly... and sometimes oddly I've known people who used to be what you would call "players" now have settled down and are decent ppl who don't cheat and are not "old" either! hehe. Just saying people can definitely change if given the reason and the chance 3nodding
That's something I wish someone had told me to save me years of bitterness and self-resentment so I share it with you now X-p

 

[Hypnospace]

heart if I truly love him/her I would forgive them and trust that they will never do it again, and try to work out the problems in our relationship.
but like the ladies said, everyone deals with it differently. heart  

[the little madeleine girl]

personally, i don't think i forgive and forget very easily
especially when the person has done something big
but i think that if someone has hurt you once they'd do it again
somehow, somewhere in the future so when there's someone
who's hurt you so much in the past i think it would be better
if you do forgive him, but not forget what he did because if
you forget, you might commit the same mistakes again

 

[And Another Thing]

Cece Dusk

How easy is it for you to forgive?

If your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't do a chore or ignores you or even cheats on you, how do you cope? Do you forgive and forget? Or perhaps you make him/her make up for it? How do you fix these situations, and when do you say/think enough is enough?

I'm thirteen and I've never had a boyfriend, but since everyone here has more experience then me, I'd like to know your opinion on this topic.

Shadow Detective Snow

I'm almost 17 and I don't have experience with dating..... sweatdrop

'A' I'm 21 with no experience.... sooo....
But, I would imagine I would be really forgiving in the first part of the relationship, when we're still figuring out how things work. When it gets more serious, I'd probably become more attentive to the little things because I'm starting to settle down with them.
I'm pretty self-conscious about myself, so I don't think I would forgive or forget cheating or flirting with other girls at all. That's just something I wouldn't be able to handle emotionally.
But if my bf tried to make an effort to meet me halfway on things I point out (say if it was doing chores), then I'd feel better about them and their effort.


But in any relationship, I'd say the ability to compromise (as in "finding middle grounds") is the key to being long-lasting. If partners are unable to see eye to eye on the little things, then it's probably a sign more effort, time, and management needs to be put into it. And a sign that the little things are underlying a more major problem.

Hope this answers your question~  

[Freebie User]

You girls all have good points (except for Shadow Detective Snow, and I'm sorry you have no experience. I probably won't have any then either. XP) So I'll probably deal with it differently then all of you, and I can't say anything now, like I wouldn't forgive. v_v Going to have to wait until I start dating.  

[Mother Molly]

I personally do not forgive easily. I take a lot of time to warm up and feel comfortable and trust a person. If they betray that trust, it hurts like a b*tch. Not saying that it's the right way to be. Some people deserve a second chance. We're all human and we all make mistakes. It depends on a lot of things.
I'm an advocate of open, honest relationships. When my last relationship was on its way to ending we wouldn't talk about our problems. I guess we thought that ignoring them would make it better. He fell for someone else and lied to me about it. For that I hated him for years. Looking back I realize that I was no more committed to our relationship than he was, and if I had been honest and told him maybe we could have ended on more mutual terms.

That's my little experience rant. Like it's been said already, everyone reacts to problems differently and you never know how you're going to handle them until you're in that position.