Lost my sexual drive...

[o0Roxy0o]

Is there something wrong with me?

To get straight to the point, I'm a horny 17 year old. And for some reason,
it's gone. I never feel 'in the mood' anymore and it always feels like a task
instead of a pleasure. I don't blame my boyfriend, but I feel sorry for him.

Our relationship is doing so well in all other aspects, so why can't I get
myself to feel excited anymore? I used to watch any movie with sex and get
excited, now, I feel nothing.

Help?

 

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

Have you fallen into some sort of routine?  

[CheesecakeBear]

oh,same thing with me U ^ U for me is like, more a task and I'm getting pretty tired that. Maybe is just the more you do it...the less seen to be pleasure and exciting. I'm in the same boat U n U  

[UpsideDownInventions]

Stop watching sex movies and use your own imagination.. Watching people having sex on the screen does not do much but draws away the excitement, sometimes you just need to relax and leave it for a bit. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing... So just, step back, breath and relax... Then see what happens..  

[Fuit Gummy]

Here comes negative nancy......

Have you been feeling AT ALL sad, insecure, or really moody lately?
If so, it's possible you could be in a state of HSDD (Hypoative Sexual Desire Disorder)

show spoilerhide spoiler

I've had it my entire life ;w;

It's a slight mental disorder, usually in females in their teens and early
adulthood that is caused by stress or just feeling bad in general. Having it,
you'll no longer find yourself "in the mood".

How to treat it...? I'm not sure. Everyone's told me it's a good thing since I
hate people and seeing anything sexual makes me uncomfortable. :I
Try asking a doctor or having some blood work done to see if it's any
hormonal imbalances.

 

[o0Roxy0o]

Gigi Deveraux

Have you fallen into some sort of routine?

I guess You could say that...

Also, I find it to be a bit of a turn off to do it while my parents are home.
'Cause then we have to worry about keeping quite and not getting caught.
emotion_0A0

 

[o0Roxy0o]

Kiaana Yuki

Stop watching sex movies and use your own imagination.. Watching people having sex on the screen does not do much but draws away the excitement, sometimes you just need to relax and leave it for a bit. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing... So just, step back, breath and relax... Then see what happens..

That's the problem, all movies seem to have sex scenes in and they all
Make sex seem much more exciting than it really is. I thought taking a
Little break from it would help, but it hasn't.

 

[o0Roxy0o]

CasuaIty

Here comes negative nancy......

Have you been feeling AT ALL sad, insecure, or really moody lately?
If so, it's possible you could be in a state of HSDD (Hypoative Sexual Desire Disorder)

show spoilerhide spoiler

I've had it my entire life ;w;

It's a slight mental disorder, usually in females in their teens and early
adulthood that is caused by stress or just feeling bad in general. Having it,
you'll no longer find yourself "in the mood".

How to treat it...? I'm not sure. Everyone's told me it's a good thing since I
hate people and seeing anything sexual makes me uncomfortable. :I
Try asking a doctor or having some blood work done to see if it's any
hormonal imbalances.

I guess it's possible, but I hope it's not the reason.

Unfortunately, I can't confront my doctor about it. I'd feel a little
Insecure about it as I'd have to take my mom with and I don't
Think she'll be too happy about it.

I just feel so bad 'cause my boyfriend thinks it's his fault, but
I really don't think it is.

 

[HimeFiveCents]

HSDD!! Lol awesome! They have names for everything! 4laugh

I say don't feel too bad, Roxy, seriously. It happens. My bf and I have a very healthy sex life but yeah we fall out of the mood at times. Really take a break, a couple/few days (thats about how long we can wait tee-hee) and try to "plan out" the next time your gonna do it. I don't mean like write a detailed instruction pamphlet complete with illustrations! (though if that gets you off... razz ) I mean like try to figure out when everyone will be out of the house or try to find a good private place to park or picnic or some such in the meantime. Make it like your Questing Gettin' Sum lol! Just don't take it to seriously to the point where you obsess over it. I think part of the lack of drive might be that when you think about sex you also think about all the frustration of not getting caught that comes along with it: having to be quiet, hurrying up, watching the doors, making sure nothing rattles too loudly in an unmistakably sexy tempo! stare (does that sound accurate?) And then what if you do get caught!!?? emotion_0A0 Its enough to make any girl go err, limp(?).
Take a few days to get your mind off away from that and feel better. 3nodding
 

[UpsideDownInventions]

o0Roxy0o

Kiaana Yuki

Stop watching sex movies and use your own imagination.. Watching people having sex on the screen does not do much but draws away the excitement, sometimes you just need to relax and leave it for a bit. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing... So just, step back, breath and relax... Then see what happens..

That's the problem, all movies seem to have sex scenes in and they all
Make sex seem much more exciting than it really is. I thought taking a
Little break from it would help, but it hasn't.

Could be something else is effecting you.. Or you have too many things going on at once and it you do not know it..?  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

o0Roxy0o

Gigi Deveraux

Have you fallen into some sort of routine?

I guess You could say that...

Also, I find it to be a bit of a turn off to do it while my parents are home.
'Cause then we have to worry about keeping quite and not getting caught.
emotion_0A0

Ew. Ew. EW! There is NOTHING worse than having the parents nearby when you're just itchin' to get a good crotch-grind going... except thinking you can get away with it and getting busted later.

Between this, the sex on video and getting into a habit, no wonder you're not really up to it.

I think the most important thing for you is to be able to relax enough to get in the mood. Also, foreplay. Most people don't get how important all that kissing and petting really is.

I hope you can get it on again soon...  

[Marnomy]

o0Roxy0o

Is there something wrong with me?

To get straight to the point, I'm a horny 17 year old. And for some reason,
it's gone. I never feel 'in the mood' anymore and it always feels like a task
instead of a pleasure. I don't blame my boyfriend, but I feel sorry for him.

Our relationship is doing so well in all other aspects, so why can't I get
myself to feel excited anymore? I used to watch any movie with sex and get
excited, now, I feel nothing.

Help?

Girl, there is nothing wrong with you.
It happens to a lot of chicks, really—even me,
and I'm only a year older than you!

I sort of had the same problem with my boyfriend. We've been
dating for a little over a year now, and around 7 months I sort
of got uninterested by the thought of sex. And, as Gigi mentioned,
our sex life also fell into a routine. Like, very vanilla sex with minimal variation.

Oh yeah, and we also have to keep quiet if his parents are home.
At first, it was thrilling because we could've been caught ...
but now it sucks because I like being loud. ( > ////// < );;;

You can always try to find a way to get your parents out of the house
(point out events they might want to go to for cheap, like LivingSocial
opportunities; perhaps there'll be a wine-and-cheese tasting nearby~)
and once they're out of the house, you can get as wild and crazy as you want.
Maybe try having sex in a different room than usual, like in the shower/bathroom,
kitchen counter, dining room table, living room couch (whatever) during this opportunity.

The way I sorta solved this was experimenting with a tiny fetish of mine
(him dominating me in bed,) but nothing too serious, just holding me down,
going really rough—but going slower if it hurt me—or a spanking here or there.
If you have any sort of sexual fantasy, you should try imagining it,
just like thinking about if you and your BF were acting it out.
If he's usually 'in charge' during bed, maybe it's time that you hold him
down and ride him like a cowgirl~! ;D LOL. Or the opposite, if you're the one on top, haha!

One way that usually turns me on is just hearing about how attractive I am,
and how much I turn my BF on, even if, in truth, I'm self-conscious about some
body parts of mine. My BF would say things that start out like
"I love it when ..." or "It turns me on how you ..." and "You make me horny when ..."
Maybe you need to hear how awesome you are in bed in order
to want to get in bed more. Hearing the effect you have on someone
is a big, big ego boost, and makes you feel like a sex goddess.

Also, I also had a period where I felt like being sexual was more of a task.
How I got over that? I just kind of tuned in on my BF when we were foolin'
around, and I realized that I was the only one who could make him feel
that way, and that felt really empowering.
Now, it's like a challenge in my head, sort of: like, how can I make him feel
even better the next time, how can I top myself? And it's not just about him,
it's about me too! I regularly try to spice it up. I blatantly suggest how my BF
should touch me in different ways, especially if what he's doing is not turning
me on at all: faster or slower, having a rougher or softer touch, placing his
hands on different places, etc.

Another thing you can try is just touching yourself, not sexually. Explore your
body (or let your boyfriend do it, instead!) Let him touch you in different ways
all over your body. Find your erogenous zones. For example, me and my BF
were cuddling in bed—naked—and he just started to run his fingers really
lightly up and down my legs and thighs and that got me soo hot n' bothered.
There's more to it to making a girl horny than just her tits and her p***y: go
find those places that make you begging him to touch you more, girl! ;D

One thing that gets me out of a "dry" spell is writing or reading really
naughty stories/fanfiction. I heard that erotica was more effective for
women than porn or videos were, because they can, as I said, imagine it.

You can also try some new sex toys, or flavored lube! Or even whipped
cream, if you're cheap like me. Maybe you need some added stimulation?
A vibrator incorporated in your sex life might be fun, but if you don't have
access to getting one, you can also find similar sensations from a detachable
shower head. My shower time dramatically increased when the shower head
was replaced with a detachable one with different settings ... So much fun!

I have to ask, are you on the pill, or any sort of hormonal birth control?
That is one way that can lower a lady's sex drive. I found that this was
a contributing factor to my lowered sex drive, but then I got my prescription
adjusted slightly (because I experienced some slight mood swings too)
so now I'm back to normal and horny as ever, hahaha.

Few, that was long. Hopefully that gave you some interesting ideas to try~!

 

[o0Roxy0o]

Marnomy

Wow, this helped a lot! emotion_hug


I honestly do think it's the whole 'Parents are home, I don't want to get
caught' thing. I'll speak to him and ask him to wait until they are out
again, that way I can also give myself a break from sex.


I do feel we're stuck in a pattern, I'll definitely have to do a room change
or something. It's always the same. We snuggle, foreplay, sex, sleep.
It's like we can't have a sleepover without it and I honestly hate it.


As for toys and such, we've always been speaking of using cream
or even that chocolate sauce or ice cubes. Although, none of that
happens. I think him and I should make more of an effort to be more
creative.


Thanks again for your help, I really feel a lot better about the situation
now.
emotion_bigheart

 

[Marnomy]

o0Roxy0o

Glad to have helped~♥

Everyone goes through this now and again, and sometimes it's hard
to break out of habit if the circumstances aren't right. But don't worry,
I'm sure that you'll be able to get your sex life back to wild and awesome.

> u <; Instead of sleeping, try going to the couch and watching the telly
afterwards—dressed or undressed, howeve. For some reason me and the BF
are much more talkative after we've did the dirty, so we might spend an hour
cuddling in bed and just talking about random stuff or go to the living room,
channel hopping and watching late night television (like Dave's Old Porn,
where two comedians watch vintage porn and make fun of it together).
Then we'll get in the mood again after we've had a little break time to rest up and relax.

If any of the tables in your kitchen is strong enough, I suggest fooling around
a lil on that. But make sure you clean up/have a towel beneath you, haha.

Oooh, ice cubes are really, really fun! I totes recommend that. If he uses it
down there, make sure he makes it warm again with his tongue~! ;D
Vice versa with him, too. Suck on an ice cube before you go down on him
and see how he likes it.

Lots of variation is the key to a good sex life. Have fun, dearie~! I'm sure
your BF will be super turned on by your enthusiasm and new ideas. (;  

[M i n i R e d S t a r s]

Hmm, well I highly doubt that there is anything wrong with you. I suppose it is normal to not feel in the mood at times.

I think a reason might just be that it does somewhat seem like you have gotten into a routine regarding your sexual activity. And like others have said, maybe you just need to try something different, something new, then it will be more like an adventure, not like a scheduled thing.

Hope this helped emotion_bigheart