Boyfriend Trouble. Advice? My tears wont let me sleep.

[Neko Hungary]

So...my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and it became a long distance relationship not too long ago. We've both been through a lot together that's why we haven't given up on each other.
Although today he really hurt my feelings. He is Catholic and I am not, and I invited him to spend "Christmas" with my family, we were going to do a pagan ritual and fast, which he knew nothing about.
So I made the a small joke saying we give our blood or something, shortly followed by the real explanation.
cry This really upset him and I apologized many times. He responded with "I love you but sometimes I feel that you're not smart enough for me; You've ruined my image of you-I guess it's my fault for thinking so highly of you"
cry
I've been trying to sleep but my eyes keep tearing-I know I made that mistake, but my heart is shattered and I can't sleep. I've not spoken to him since.  

[Dionnysia]

ninja feline

*huggles tightly* emotion_hug heart
I think he could have been a little more tactful in what he said, especially if the two of you are as close as you claim to be.

However, what was done was done and I think you should try to help yourself relax a little with something that you enjoy, some ice cream, a warm bath, a good book. Try to get some rest.

Give it a day or two and try to talk to him again, and figure out where to go from there. Maybe he was just surprised by what you said and couldn't think of a better way to express that. I speak from experience, teenage guys can be real jerks at times and they are not always the most eloquent of people.

What happened between you two may not be the end-all dealbreaker...it could just be a little bump in the road.  

[Neko Hungary]

Dionnysia

ninja feline

*huggles tightly* emotion_hug heart
I think he could have been a little more tactful in what he said, especially if the two of you are as close as you claim to be.

However, what was done was done and I think you should try to help yourself relax a little with something that you enjoy, some ice cream, a warm bath, a good book. Try to get some rest.

Give it a day or two and try to talk to him again, and figure out where to go from there. Maybe he was just surprised by what you said and couldn't think of a better way to express that. I speak from experience, teenage guys can be real jerks at times and they are not always the most eloquent of people.

What happened between you two may not be the end-all dealbreaker...it could just be a little bump in the road.

Thank you crying I've just been not thinking things through. I don't know how to start a conversation with him though-I know I should let him simmer, it just saddens me that he lost his "image" of me.  

[Dionnysia]

ninja feline

Dionnysia

ninja feline

*huggles tightly* emotion_hug heart
I think he could have been a little more tactful in what he said, especially if the two of you are as close as you claim to be.

However, what was done was done and I think you should try to help yourself relax a little with something that you enjoy, some ice cream, a warm bath, a good book. Try to get some rest.

Give it a day or two and try to talk to him again, and figure out where to go from there. Maybe he was just surprised by what you said and couldn't think of a better way to express that. I speak from experience, teenage guys can be real jerks at times and they are not always the most eloquent of people.

What happened between you two may not be the end-all dealbreaker...it could just be a little bump in the road.

Thank you crying I've just been not thinking things through. I don't know how to start a conversation with him though-I know I should let him simmer, it just saddens me that he lost his "image" of me.

Aw...try not to think on assumptions. In moments, people can say stupid things that they don't mean. emotion_hug

I hope I'm helping...I'm really trying to... sweatdrop  

[Guardian of the Sky]

Perhaps you should ask if you could join his Christmas celebration some year? See it on his perspective as well.


But your joke was uncalled for. Past is the past though. Give him 3 days and then call and try to talk tohim. Ask him whereyou go from there. and then cross that bridge when you come to it.

Someone wise once told me, that 99% of what you worry about won't come to pass, so don't worry about things until you get to them. You'll get more sleep ifyou cancel worrying  

[Neko Hungary]

Guardian of the Sky

Perhaps you should ask if you could join his Christmas celebration some year? See it on his perspective as well.


But your joke was uncalled for. Past is the past though. Give him 3 days and then call and try to talk tohim. Ask him whereyou go from there. and then cross that bridge when you come to it.

Someone wise once told me, that 99% of what you worry about won't come to pass, so don't worry about things until you get to them. You'll get more sleep ifyou cancel worrying

Thank you, but I almost always joined in on his families religious affairs and holiday celebrations, which is why I wanted to introduce him to my family for a change. sweatdrop  

[Neko Hungary]

Dionnysia

ninja feline

Dionnysia

ninja feline

*huggles tightly* emotion_hug heart
I think he could have been a little more tactful in what he said, especially if the two of you are as close as you claim to be.

However, what was done was done and I think you should try to help yourself relax a little with something that you enjoy, some ice cream, a warm bath, a good book. Try to get some rest.

Give it a day or two and try to talk to him again, and figure out where to go from there. Maybe he was just surprised by what you said and couldn't think of a better way to express that. I speak from experience, teenage guys can be real jerks at times and they are not always the most eloquent of people.

What happened between you two may not be the end-all dealbreaker...it could just be a little bump in the road.

Thank you crying I've just been not thinking things through. I don't know how to start a conversation with him though-I know I should let him simmer, it just saddens me that he lost his "image" of me.

Aw...try not to think on assumptions. In moments, people can say stupid things that they don't mean. emotion_hug

I hope I'm helping...I'm really trying to... sweatdrop

You have been very helpful, my mind has been eased a little. Thank for your advice  

[S0FAKINGCHEESY]

ninja feline

So...my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and it became a long distance relationship not too long ago. We've both been through a lot together that's why we haven't given up on each other.
Although today he really hurt my feelings. He is Catholic and I am not, and I invited him to spend "Christmas" with my family, we were going to do a pagan ritual and fast, which he knew nothing about.
So I made the a small joke saying we give our blood or something, shortly followed by the real explanation.
cry This really upset him and I apologized many times. He responded with "I love you but sometimes I feel that you're not smart enough for me; You've ruined my image of you-I guess it's my fault for thinking so highly of you"
cry
I've been trying to sleep but my eyes keep tearing-I know I made that mistake, but my heart is shattered and I can't sleep. I've not spoken to him since.

In my opinion, I think just give him his space let him think about what he said and I'm sure he'll realize what he said was hurtful. In the mean time just focus on you for a bit, and when he does come around explain that it was only a joke and didn't think it would be taken so harshly and tell him he shouldn't have attacked and said those hurtful things.
I know it'll be hard to just wait a while but if you keep poking at him it may drive him further away. Besides youve been together this long adding in a long distance relationship, just have faith everything will be okay. c:

I hope this helps a little
 

[Neko Hungary]

He keeps texting me...I don't feel like talking to him though-now he thinks I broke up with him...which I didn't but I think he is trying to get me to text him...  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

ninja feline

He keeps texting me...I don't feel like talking to him though-now he thinks I broke up with him...which I didn't but I think he is trying to get me to text him...

I know I'm lacking all sorts of information here and can only go by what you tell us but... THIS:

Quote:

"I love you but sometimes I feel that you're not smart enough for me; You've ruined my image of you-I guess it's my fault for thinking so highly of you"

To the other guild members commenting: Am I the only one really seeing what he's saying here? Has nobody else caught on that he called her "stupid" to her face!?

How the hell can he say that and you still want to be with him is beyond my ability to understand. Girl, did you not get he called you "stupid" to your face!?

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Ok, so the joke backfired a bit but seriously, any man who says this to you is not a man you want to be with... hell, he's not a man, he's just a guy.

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

You deserve someone who accepts you for what you are, even i they can't really grasp the concepts of the religion you practice... and if your religion is such a problem for him, why didn't he just leave you the hell alone so you could find someone worthy of your love?

*deep breath*

I may be overreacting a bit, but this is triggering for me... maybe it's better for everyone if I just STFU and leave the thread now that I've said my piece - or a fraction of it anyway.  

[Daffodil the Destroyer]

Gigi Deveraux

ninja feline

He keeps texting me...I don't feel like talking to him though-now he thinks I broke up with him...which I didn't but I think he is trying to get me to text him...

I know I'm lacking all sorts of information here and can only go by what you tell us but... THIS:

Quote:

"I love you but sometimes I feel that you're not smart enough for me; You've ruined my image of you-I guess it's my fault for thinking so highly of you"

To the other guild members commenting: Am I the only one really seeing what he's saying here? Has nobody else caught on that he called her "stupid" to her face!?

How the hell can he say that and you still want to be with him is beyond my ability to understand. Girl, did you not get he called you "stupid" to your face!?

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Ok, so the joke backfired a bit but seriously, any man who says this to you is not a man you want to be with... hell, he's not a man, he's just a guy.

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

You deserve someone who accepts you for what you are, even i they can't really grasp the concepts of the religion you practice... and if your religion is such a problem for him, why didn't he just leave you the hell alone so you could find someone worthy of your love?

*deep breath*

I may be overreacting a bit, but this is triggering for me... maybe it's better for everyone if I just STFU and leave the thread now that I've said my piece - or a fraction of it anyway.

Oh this. I don't think there was anything inappropriate about your joke, just from what you posted before. I guess there might be something I don't know that would make it different, but hey. He knew you were of a different religion, right? If he can't handle you making a joke about your OWN religion based on a stereotype people hold of it, then he should have thought of that before.

You weren't wrong to ask him to come experience your rituals as you've participated in his. It sounds like he's not showing you the respect you deserve, especially by telling you that you aren't smart enough for him.

It doesn't mean he is a bad person or anything, it just means that maybe there's a better relationship out there for you than this one.

 

[Mord Alushar]

That was just uncalled for. Just because of his religion, it seems that he thinks hes better than you or so to speak, " Holier then thou"

Personally, if it were me, I'd split and say that we are over because hes obviously not mature enough to look past both of your religions and love you for you. But in all honesty, I think that you two need a break from one another. I say, don't talk to each other for a few days so that you both can think about what you really want. Who knows, maybe its for the best. Maybe it will give him time to realize that he was a jerk and this experience will make him grow up.  

[Neko Hungary]

Mord Alushar

That was just uncalled for. Just because of his religion, it seems that he thinks hes better than you or so to speak, " Holier then thou"

Personally, if it were me, I'd split and say that we are over because hes obviously not mature enough to look past both of your religions and love you for you. But in all honesty, I think that you two need a break from one another. I say, don't talk to each other for a few days so that you both can think about what you really want. Who knows, maybe its for the best. Maybe it will give him time to realize that he was a jerk and this experience will make him grow up.

It really makes me sad though, I do love him and I know this seems like a bad impression of him but he really sweet guy. It frightens me to mention that it is our third time dating....I suppose I need to speak seriously with him next time I see him crying