How do people have a conversation?

[Reine Fletcher]

Is this a weird question? Because I've always felt that keeping a conversation beyond "Hi, how are you, fine, thanks" strains me. I find it hard to inquire about another person's interests unless I know some of them beforehand, or to start a new topic after we've exhausted the current one. Sigh. My problem is, before I speak, I censor out the entire topic, feeling that it's too stupid or possibly invalid, possibly something the other person already knows.

Some forums helped me open up, mainly due to similar interests. Then my boyfriend has been wonderful, telling me not to be afraid and just speak my mind, as long as it keeps the conversation going. I just don't want to humiliate myself. I like to join small groups and let them do the talking while I laugh in the background or comment, "Oh really?" at times.

I think I'm a nice person, I'd really like to have more friends, if only I weren't this conscious...

Any advice?  

[Emo Pankakes]

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I don't think that this is a weird question at all.
I always feel like I am going to say the wrong thing an ruin a conversation (mostly because it does happen from time to time) Or I don't really know how to continue most conversations.
And for some reason my inability and fear are intensified online...

The best thing I can say is listen to your boyfriend's advice, he seems like a smart guy.
I've been just trying to be more natural and say what I want. If it ends a conversation those people aren't worth your time.
I've also come to learn that my friend's who really care about me will try to include me if they notice I'm not saying much in a conversation.

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[Reine Fletcher]

Emo Pankakes

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I don't think that this is a weird question at all.
I always feel like I am going to say the wrong thing an ruin a conversation (mostly because it does happen from time to time) Or I don't really know how to continue most conversations.
And for some reason my inability and fear are intensified online...

The best thing I can say is listen to your boyfriend's advice, he seems like a smart guy.
I've been just trying to be more natural and say what I want. If it ends a conversation those people aren't worth your time.
I've also come to learn that my friend's who really care about me will try to include me if they notice I'm not saying much in a conversation.

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So, I'm not alone... emotion_hug
On the contrary it was the internet that helped me, the mask of anonymity. Which isn't so good when I'm confronting people in real life, I forget I can't "filter" and "edit" my words and such...

My boyfriend is my complete opposite, it's a wonder we get along. I'm glad, though, because he tries to "debug" my issues (as he is a programming genius...the downside of which is that he overlooks my emotions sometimes). /rant

Yes, alright. I'll try that. More natural... okay. xD
Thank you smile  

[vxrs]

It starts with an interesting topic, I guess.
After the introduction, say something rather random that will catch their attention. And keep talking. Soon enough, you'll be having a dialogue.
And if the conversation dies down, jump into another topic. c: Usually I do most the talking in a convo, I'm quite the elocutionist....

 

[Shannon-Jeva]

Not a weird question at all. I struggle with this on a daily basis sweatdrop
I'm a terrible conversationalist, even online. gonk  

[Isis Sister Of Osiris]

I can talk to people about all sorts of things, it's all in how you prompt them. If you ask a few questions, you can find out a lot.

Basic questions like "what do you like to do" or "seen any good movies lately?" can get a conversation going.  

[Reine Fletcher]

Radiant Mercy

I really envy people like you~ The ability to just keep talking. xD
Random, huh?
Random, random... Did you know that most computer random (number) generators are completely based on a formula?
(...That's how random I go. sweatdrop )
I'd like to thread conversations together, but at some point I just get so caught up in trying to think of something else to say.

Must...loosen...up... Ugh. sweatdrop

Shannon-Jeva

We'll keep trying, right? biggrin

Gigi Deveraux

Prompt... Questions? No stupid questions, then. Yes. Of course... smile
(Most I could come up with is puns. Okay, just shoot me please. gonk )



Thank you for your input, ladies~ heart  

[vxrs]

Why you think of the next thing to say? D:
You only do that in role play. Your next comment should be based on what the other person said.
HERE LETS HAVE SOME PRACTICE:

Hello. c: it's so hot right now, I could fry some eggs in the sun.  

[Lady Kira X]

Maybe I'm weird.. but I'm actually okay with silence when it comes to people.
The only time I'm not comfortable with it is when that person is normally loud & really talkative. Then I just assume somethings wrong & worry.


I know people just try to talk to lessen the tension but sometimes it's not warranted. Like when you're at the dentist.. or getting your hair done.  

[getmeoffthishellsite]

This definitely not a weird question! I have this problem sometimes too.
Usually I just comment on the person's clothes/hair/etc if I run out of things to say.

 

[Reine Fletcher]

Radiant Mercy

Why you think of the next thing to say? D:
You only do that in role play. Your next comment should be based on what the other person said.
HERE LETS HAVE SOME PRACTICE:

Hello. c: it's so hot right now, I could fry some eggs in the sun.

Well, it feels...stupid sometimes. For the practice,

"Meanwhile, it's been raining cows and chickens where I live." (Philippines was ravaged by another storm. xD)
Outside that, I'd comment on a memory or a corny joke. xD

It doesn't work with everyone. Hehe... :sweats:

Lady Kira X

Maybe I'm weird.. but I'm actually okay with silence when it comes to people.
The only time I'm not comfortable with it is when that person is normally loud & really talkative. Then I just assume somethings wrong & worry.


I know people just try to talk to lessen the tension but sometimes it's not warranted. Like when you're at the dentist.. or getting your hair done.

I'd like to be friends with a person like you IRL then xD

Captain Silas Manner

This definitely not a weird question! I have this problem sometimes too.
Usually I just comment on the person's clothes/hair/etc if I run out of things to say.

Thank you. smile
I'm just afraid of coming off too shallow, but that has been the easiest route out of Awkward-silence-ville so far... xD  

[vxrs]

Raining cows and chickens? : o Why not cats and dogs?
((Corny jokes are good :3))  

[Reine Fletcher]

Radiant Mercy

Raining cows and chickens? : o Why not cats and dogs?
((Corny jokes are good :3))

Lol xD Because it's one of the worst we've had in a while. Bad flooding in most places, so cats and dogs really are an understatement. sweatdrop

((Alrighty then! Reine Fletcher Inc. now serves popcorn xD))  

[vxrs]

Reine Fletcher

Radiant Mercy

Raining cows and chickens? : o Why not cats and dogs?
((Corny jokes are good :3))

Lol xD Because it's one of the worst we've had in a while. Bad flooding in most places, so cats and dogs really are an understatement. sweatdrop

((Alrighty then! Reine Fletcher Inc. now serves popcorn xD))

o.o ((Sentence ender alert.))
Random new topic: I'm very creative with food. One time I was at a friend's house and we were eating popcorn with pepper in it and it was so hot and we literally had a coughing fest.
And one time I put pepper in my tea and I started to sneeze a lot!  

[Reine Fletcher]

Radiant Mercy

Reine Fletcher

Radiant Mercy

Raining cows and chickens? : o Why not cats and dogs?
((Corny jokes are good :3))

Lol xD Because it's one of the worst we've had in a while. Bad flooding in most places, so cats and dogs really are an understatement. sweatdrop

((Alrighty then! Reine Fletcher Inc. now serves popcorn xD))

o.o ((Sentence ender alert.))
Random new topic: I'm very creative with food. One time I was at a friend's house and we were eating popcorn with pepper in it and it was so hot and we literally had a coughing fest.
And one time I put pepper in my tea and I started to sneeze a lot!

((What "sentence ender alert"?))

Pepper flavored popcorn? Brilliant! That's something to try--though, did you add the pepper or was it with the popcorn already?

...And...why? On...tea? Lol?