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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:19 pm
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Fill this form out in triplicate and send it over to human resources. Please include at least two references who are not family.
Details about the position are as followed: Job Title: Buddy, pal, wingman. Shift: Prefer full time, part time available. Days, nights, weekends, holidays, birthdays, leap years, Kwanza Salary: Depending on experience, will be paid in lunches and awesome birthday gifts. Job Description: Will be required to laugh at my jokes (even the unfunny ones). Will be required to keep me from making a fool of myself in public (in private is just fine). Should have an up-to-date shot record. Must be able to correctly spell 65% of the most commonly misspelled words.
Application questions: 1. Your name as it appears in the mirror: 2. Nicknames/ Aliases: 3. Age in dog years: 4. Crunchy or Creamy peanut butter? 5. Are you able to belch your name? 6. How do you like your coffee? 7. Solve this algebra equation 4X = 2: 8. Are you going to finish those fries? a. If not, can you pass them this way? 9. If you were a smurf, what would your name be? 10. Are you double jointed? a. If so, in what ways? 11. Are you able to curl your tongue? a. Prove it. 12. Can you land a back board slide from a 3 foot ollie? a. If not, why? 13. Cheetohs or Doritos? 14. Describe yourself numerically using as few decimal places as possible: 15. Does this dress make my butt look fat? a. Sexy fat or hoo-girl-uh-uh fat? 16. How long can you hold your breath? Note: answering this question is not required under the equal opportunity employment act.: 17. Finish this sentence: "When attacked by ninjas _______."
18. Essay question: In 500 words or less, tell me what makes you awesome.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:31 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:12 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:27 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 9:57 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:33 pm
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Application questions: 1. Your name as it appears in the mirror: Nahc-I don't know. I don't have a mirror. 2. Nicknames/ Aliases: DC. Uh...Chan chan? Deeec. You can't really have a lot of nicknames with a name that's less than six letters total. 3. Age in dog years: Dead. 4. Crunchy or Creamy peanut butter? Creamy. Super thick. 5. Are you able to belch your name? No. Too many syllables. And a J. Which is hard to burp. 6. How do you like your coffee? Black. Like my men. cool 7. Solve this algebra equation 4X = 2: Oh god? Really? So easy. 4/2; which is reduced to 1/2. In decimals that is 0.5. 8. Are you going to finish those fries? Yes. a. If not, can you pass them this way? NO THEY ARE MINE. I DON'T EAT FAST FOOD A LOT SO WHEN I HAVE FIRES I EAT THEM ALL. 9. If you were a smurf, what would your name be? John Smurf. The Smurf who traveled to the New World and fell in love with Smurfahontas. 10. Are you double jointed? No. Actually, that terrifies me. a. If so, in what ways? emotion_8c 11. Are you able to curl your tongue? No. My whole family can, and they make fun of me. a. Prove it. Not even into the shape of a hotdog...I am a failure of a daughter. 12. Can you land a back board slide from a 3 foot ollie? No. a. If not, why? I lack coordination, and balance, and nerves of steel. And also read a book called "MEG". And scared a giant, prehistoric shark will attack me mid-air if I do such on a surfboard. 13. Cheetohs or Doritos? CHEETOHS. WITH THE POOFYNESS. 14. Describe yourself numerically using as few decimal places as possible: 22/7 15. Does this dress make my butt look fat? Just a little. We can find some Spanx, though. You'll be super fine. a. Sexy fat or hoo-girl-uh-uh fat? Sexy fat. But only if you suck in. 16. How long can you hold your breath? Note: answering this question is not required under the equal opportunity employment act.: If I blow it into a balloon, forever. eek 17. Finish this sentence: "When attacked by ninjas _______." don't poop.
18. Essay question: In 500 words or less, tell me what makes you awesome. I don't like chocolate. This means I will give it to you if it ever falls into my hands.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 10:52 pm
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Application questions: 1. Your name as it appears in the mirror:rehtaeH 2. Nicknames/ Aliases: pip, pippy, kyu, tali, Vi 3. Age in dog years: 147 4. Crunchy or Creamy peanut butter? creamy 5. Are you able to belch your name? sadly no, i usually only have short burps 6. How do you like your coffee? lots of sugar and cream/milk 7. Solve this algebra equation 4X = 2: .5 8. Are you going to finish those fries? yes, but I'll share a. If not, can you pass them this way? of course 9. If you were a smurf, what would your name be? indecisive smurf 10. Are you double jointed? i think so a. If so, in what ways? i can bend my back at an angle like ^, and my fingers 11. Are you able to curl your tongue? no :C a. Prove it. 12. Can you land a back board slide from a 3 foot ollie? nuh uh a. If not, why? im not good at skateboarding, but I can do a regular ollie 13. Cheetohs or Doritos? spicy nacho doritos 14. Describe yourself numerically using as few decimal places as possible: 80085 15. Does this dress make my butt look fat? maybe...just a bit... a. Sexy fat or hoo-girl-uh-uh fat? sexy mmmmm 16. How long can you hold your breath? Note: answering this question is not required under the equal opportunity employment act.: under water or in general? underwater i can hold it for like 2min or so.In general not long XD 17. Finish this sentence: "When attacked by ninjas _______." show tits
18. Essay question: In 500 words or less, tell me what makes you awesome. I have a Legend of Zelda tattoo on my back.
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:10 pm
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1. Your name as it appears in the mirror: eerahs 2. Nicknames/ Aliases: Alice, Kitty, Catlady, Ree, the 'stache, Reetard, Tits Migee 3. Age in dog years: i have no idea.. 4. Crunchy or Creamy peanut butter? creamy 5. Are you able to belch your name? I can belch an entire conversation or the alphabet on one burp. 6. How do you like your coffee? Milk, one sugar 7. Solve this algebra equation 4X = 2: 4x.5=2? 8. Are you going to finish those fries? yes a. If not, can you pass them this way? 9. If you were a smurf, what would your name be? Stoner Smurf or perhaps Heartless b***h smurf.. or whorey smurf 10. Are you double jointed? Apparently a. If so, in what ways? In my pinky 11. Are you able to curl your tongue? Yes a. Prove it. Pix for pix biggrin 12. Can you land a back board slide from a 3 foot ollie? no a. If not, why? I am uncooridinated 13. Cheetohs or Doritos? Only got The latter in my country for the first time this year.. wont pay $5 a bag for them. 14. Describe yourself numerically using as few decimal places as possible: 24787.. idk that is my birthdate 15. Does this dress make my butt look fat? Yes a. Sexy fat or hoo-girl-uh-uh fat? Like you have two asses 16. How long can you hold your breath? Note: answering this question is not required under the equal opportunity employment act.: not long enough! 17. Finish this sentence: "When attacked by ninjas _______." Offer them sex and they might let you live.
18. Essay question: In 500 words or less, tell me what makes you awesome. My first name sounds like "Car Tree" ?? i'm not awesome.. I'm bawwwesome
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:40 pm
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1. Your name as it appears in the mirror: raeBretniW 2. Nicknames/ Aliases: Wint, Bear, WB 3. Age in dog years: dead 4. Crunchy or Creamy peanut butter? both 5. Are you able to belch your name? no 6. How do you like your coffee? If the spoon doesn't jump out and scream, it's not strong enough 7. Solve this algebra equation 4X = 2: x = 0.50 8. Are you going to finish those fries? no a. If not, can you pass them this way? go for it 9. If you were a smurf, what would your name be? Ditzy Smurf (if I was a male smurf) 10. Are you double jointed? no a. If so, in what ways? n/a 11. Are you able to curl your tongue? yes a. Prove it. do i have to? 12. Can you land a back board slide from a 3 foot ollie? no a. If not, why? klutz 13. Cheetohs or Doritos? doritos 14. Describe yourself numerically using as few decimal places as possible: 42 15. Does this dress make my butt look fat? No a. Sexy fat or hoo-girl-uh-uh fat? n/a 16. How long can you hold your breath? Note: answering this question is not required under the equal opportunity employment act.: maybe 1.5 min. 17. Finish this sentence: "When attacked by ninjas _______." scream like a little girl and play dead
18. Essay question: In 500 words or less, tell me what makes you awesome. n/a. I'm a mugwhump, honestly. (and no, I don't mean a muggle)
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 6:34 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:40 am
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this photo. it wins all the internets that I have in my pocket right now. it also looks a wee bit like a v****a.
Menlusa 6. How do you like your coffee? with so much sugar it ceases to be defined as coffee. Quite as it should be! emotion_dowant
Meromictic 17. Finish this sentence: "When attacked by ninjas _______." be a pirate. hellz yeah pirates <3
Nikunya 1. Your name as it appears in the mirror: eman ruoy emotion_awesome emotion_awesome emotion_awesome
dc-chan 17. Finish this sentence: "When attacked by ninjas _______." don't poop. herp, I never poop dramallama I just absorb everything into my thighs and a** :C
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:43 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:46 am
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Sinsario Read All Over this photo. it wins all the internets that I have in my pocket right now. it also looks a wee bit like a v****a. That's exactly what I was going for* *No it wasn't sometimes I just have v****a on the brain. could be because I just spent fifteen minutes trying to pick out a new lunch meat at walmart.
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:47 am
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Read All Over Sinsario Read All Over this photo. it wins all the internets that I have in my pocket right now. it also looks a wee bit like a v****a. That's exactly what I was going for* *No it wasn't sometimes I just have v****a on the brain. could be because I just spent fifteen minutes trying to pick out a new lunch meat at walmart.
Oh I underst-wait what
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