(Anoael Chalon; Green)

[Aesceus]

Name: Anoæl Chalon

Blood colour:Green... Yellowish-green (#A2BC13, may be darkened; my screen sucks)

Gender: Dude

Symbol:


Sweeps: almost 2 sweeps old

Personality:

Noel is a very energetic troll. He lives by himself with his lusus and he spends most of his time reading fantasy kids books. These books were in the cave when his Lusus and he moved in, and they have been great company to him. When not reading, he is often performing acrobatics and parkour in the forest in which he lives in, or hunting for fun.
Because Noel has little contact with other trolls, he is very naive and ignorant to troll culture. He accepts most stories from his books as the truth and gets upset when the world isn’t the way his books describe. While some books are about Alternian History (for kids), some books are made up fantasies for dreamers, which are obvious lies Noel can’t see. Some of Noel’s practices aren’t widely accepted among common troll society. Two major practices include the devouring of troll meat, and using buckets for their non-intended purposes.
Noel is not well versed on the details on the hemospectrum. Most of the books treat ‘cold bloods’ as bad guys, and he has noticed that they often chase ‘warm bloods’ in the forest. Because of this connection, he is very suspicious and angry towards his ‘bad guys’. He promised himself and his lusus (and some random warm bloods he’s saved) that when he gets older he’ll hunt the bad guys and become the hero. (At this time Noel does not have a tooth for troll flesh!)
He is a very self sufficient troll, having his lusus caring for him only minimally. His low-profile in Noel’s life makes Noel often refuse help from others, insisting he can do anything on his own. His lusus usually only takes care of his wounds. He also taught him to read, but that’s all he’s done. Because of this, Noel is a sloppy fighter, but usually gets the job done. He is better at moving and dodging than he is strategizing or actual combat. Noel usually has to feed his lusus, because he is too lazy to get off of his perch to do it himself.

Strengths:
Adept at survival At this age, most lusi still hunt for their trolls, but not Noel’s. Instead, the tiny thing hunts for himself. He usually targets things he knows he can take on, jumpbeasts and wingbeasts. The smaller ones. He is quite timid around anything bigger than his own lusus and has run away from a fight a few times. So far he’s managed to survive fighting and hunting all on his own, though, without too many broken bones!
Path Integration/Easy Memorization: Noel has an outstanding memory, mostly used for navigation through the dense forests. Where one would get lost in an area that looks the same every 30 feet, Noel can pick out subtleties between trees and rocks and find his way around quite easy. An adaptation to fending for himself.
Flaws:
Impulsive/ADD: Noel has a problem of leaping before thinking of the possible. This may be easy as saying ‘he’s just a child’, but his impulsiveness is something that will follow him through his life, even as an adult. Easily distracted and very impulsive makes Noel get into tough situations that turn tougher than they should be.
Just a puppet: Unless you are a blue blood, Noel’s loyalty among friends is harboring for himself. He is easily used, and can be tricked into doing bad deeds with the simplest lie any other troll would easily notice. As long as it makes you happy, he doesn’t mind doing anything for you, which can lead to some bad endings in the future.
Weapon: Noel's main weapon are Dual-Hidden Blades (Hidden Kitars) he keeps in his sleeves. They work like Sora's from .HACK//SIGN. ( Another link and and another ) His quick movements lets him use the blades effectively in battle with quick jabs and slashes that would be hindered and slow using longer blades.

Appearance:
Noel wears a long sleeve black turtle neck with white cuffs. As with every troll, his symbol is on the middle of his shirt with his blood colour. He also wears pants that have been cut into shorts, but he doesn't wear shoes.
He has large teeth and a bad overbite that allows most of his top-front teeth to be visible at all times. He has dark circles under his eyes from staying up late to read. He has freckles, too.
His hair is medium length - a tiny bit past his shoulders - and is wildly flippy in the back, almost like a mullet. He has an ahoge (curl) on the top of his head that won't go away, no matter how much he brushes. His horns curl really closely around his head and then curl out at the base of his skull.

Home: When Noel emerged from the brooding caves, his Lusus thought it would be a good idea to live in the Deep Forest near Four Fronds. Far enough from the Grounds to not be actively hunted, but close enough to have some excitement now and again. While this has turned out to be an O.K idea (he is still alive, isn't he?) Noel could be a totally different troll (maybe even a doctor!) if he had decided to live in Busthind or New Hemisect.
Ever since, they've lived in a two-room cave, abandoned by another troll; probably one who was hunted. The back room has a pile of furs skinned from beasts to make a nest of sorts, as well as a recuperacoon.
The back room is a darkroom with a curtain of foliage for when the sun comes up. The front room is where Anoael spends most of his time. There are drawings and lines from books written all over the walls in both rooms as decor. In the front room there is a hole in the ceiling. It is basically a sunroof and an easy way to climb to the top of the hive. There is a hole in the side of the cave that acts as a window where Noel's lusus lazes about on. Books are haphazardly piled in both rooms, with the best books in his room in the back. Some of the books in the front room on the bottom of piles are ruined from the rain and sun.
Lusus:

Noel's Lusus is very self-absorbed. He takes the form of a large, horned chameleon with four horns on his back and one on each hip, as well. He is very lazy and makes Noel fend for himself as well as feed him and himself.
When Noel emerged from the brooding caverns, his lusus took him and moved into an abandoned hive in the deep forest. He often sits on the windowsill in the cave, waiting to be fed and cared for. He only helps Noel when he is hurt. Although he seems lazy and uncaring, it's mostly a ruse to get him to learn to fend and fight for himself. Teaching him to fight by not being there means he can do even less to help him, though.

Power: His feet and hands have mutated tiny, microscopic hairs similar to that of an earth gecko probably left over from being a grub. This mutation allows him to scale any surface as long as he moves his hands and feet a certain way (sometimes he falls off). (He also sometimes sleeps on the ceiling of his cave).  

[Aesceus]

αnoæl chalon
ah-no-ell
Sha-lun


αnoæl
Alpha(α) + "Leon" backwards (Noel) + "æ".
chalon
Epsilon Cha (a star in Chamaeleon) using "Cha" and "Lon"



* If you have the Pesterchum client, add ceilingFan. That's noel's handle. hE lIkEs tO pUt EmpAsIs On All Of hIs vOwEls.
: )  

[amicableAggressor]

First, Noel's flaws and strengths seem kind of mixed in the sections. You talk about how he's good at navigating, but then you're quick to say that he's easily distracted in the strengths section, while that would count as a flaw. Also, as it is, his flaws and strengths are unbalanced. You have two strengths and four flaws, counting the easy distraction. Try and add or take away some to make it more equal. We want him to have a good chance of survival once he meets other trolls, and if he pisses them off more than he impresses them, this will be hard! :O

A good way to figure out strengths and flaws is to describe them at first with one word, like

agile
navigator
ADD
naive

then you can develop from there, and make sure that they're separate and balanced.

The one strength that he's good pattern/colour/sound recognition, isn't exactly something that would be all that useful in navigating a jungle, as all that means is he's able to remember what things look/sound like. It's very good however, if he wanted to be a walking encyclopedia, or be able to identify things quickly and easily. I'd say more of a good sense of direction, familiarity with the area, and perhaps natural path integration would be what he needs to travel a jungle easily.

good luck!  

[Aesceus]

Fix'd
Added Haus!  

[Aesceus]

Updated! <3  

[amicableAggressor]

super quick glance through, not an official crit so you won't be crossed off the list
its 4 am, i'm sho sleepy

i'd really like it if you could put more emphasis on his personality, rather than talents in his strengths. i'd honestly take out agile, and replace it with friendly, having agile as more of just a 'thing he is' rather than a strength. unless you can write up more than two sentences about it, it seems much more of a minor thing :')

also 'stronger than you think you are' is really stretching it. most of the write up isn't even about how he's strong, rather, it seems to be about how he doesn't know how a yo-yo works.

while your flaws seem fine, your strengths right now are just too thin to balance out.  

[Aesceus]

Updated again. Changed the strengths in general a little bit, so that he's childish and friendly-violent, lol.  

[amicableAggressor]

small detail, if you're going into detail about his house layout, and mean to imply that he sleeps in a bed of furs, he would be far more aggressive as he would not be immersed nightly in soupor slime which calms trolls and lowers their aggression levels. therefore i recommend he sleep in a proper recuperacoon. :>  

[Aesceus]

Updated home/lusus/added two or three lines to Personality to account for sopor slime stuff!  

[matisha]

CRIT TIME!!

Ok first I would remove the "is anxious/shy" as if he is willing to attack them then ask questions later he comes across more as bold and over-powering. I like the anxious/shy part the best as it fits him more, especially living out on his own for so long it stands to reason he would be socially awkward. I know your going for the whole "Scared into a corner a dog will bite" scenario but if you tone down the 'attacking' part a little I think it would work better. Maybe making traps instead? Catching people if they get too close to his Hive and then once strung up he can sort of call out from behind a tree asking them what they want? So still keeping the shy ability but also giving him the upper hand that will make him comfortable to talk to a troll before letting them down. (Plus if they are mean he can just run away!)

BUT OF COURSE that is only if you keep the shy/anxious because again the further you read the less he seems to be scared of anything (Which you have made a point about in your strengths) Why would a troll who does not fear anything be shy or anxious? Again i prefer him to be more shy than fearless but i dont want to change his character to something you wont like! I know it works with his childish and naive personality making him not fear things because he knows nothing about them but i think you should re-word it so its more he has no fear of things till it all goes wrong! Then he knows to stay away!

Quote:

Noel has a problem of leaping before having a tea and crumpet and thinking of the possible problems - him many a dinners to flee

....what? XD!! Crumpet? Is it a saying?? I am not sure about this whole flaw really, just the way its written, it confuses me to no end XD He is impulsive which works with his childish nature so thats fine, just re-write this because it doesnt make much sense XD


Cannibalism: I want to know more about this before I can say yes to it. Why does he want to taste every blood colour? It is a very strange behaviour for a low blood (most trolls become more mental the higher up the blood-chain) and although i know he is social inapt and has strange characteristic because of his isolation it doesn't really give a good reason why he should be a cannibal, or potential cannibal. I know trolls are a weird bunch but a little bit more back story to this please.

Quote:

Joking aside, he does not quite grasp the true violent nature of the 'troll' race and is easily frightened by it.

- Again this doesn't work with his fearless ability! Works ok with the childish, naive part and social unaware but why would he be frightened of a society he knows nothing about! Plus if you are having him live in a communal hivestem to begin with he would have already reached kid-hood by this point (you dont get a lusus till you have passed the trails in the brooding caves) and may have a semi-knowledge of community through that.
Also the whole section of him not understanding the four quadrants - you must remember to see it like we do about friendship, love and hate. Its like you not understanding friendship or love and going "why do we have it?", "Whats the need?" I know again it is something taught to you as you grow by family, friends etc but his Lusii should deal with some of that (even if he is lazy!)
Some of this flaw works and others don't. I can say am happy with him not knowing the extent of the Army but not that he doesnt know they are up in space. Fine with not knowing how many colours are in the caste but not the significance (He doesn't have to care about the significance but to be aware of it!)


Overall Summary

Ok there is quite a bit to work on before being accepted. You have an interesting character but as he stands now he is conflicting too much with the Hivestuck world. (especially the whole living in the cave which is fine but would be after he has turned into a kid when he has got his lusii thusly letting him know a little about the troll world but not much ) Hope this helped.  

[Aesceus]

- Noel is no longer shy, and anxious is more 'cautious'.
- Has started to make traps and now plays the hunting game of Four Fronds
- Cannibalism has been change just because he feels like eating trolls
- Crumpet is a snack you have with tea. It just means he doesn't take time to think about anything, in which having a good Brittish snack and tea would give him ample of time to think. Re worded, anyway.
Regarding this section

Matisha

(1) Also the whole section of him not understanding the four quadrants - you must remember to see it like we do about friendship, love and hate. Its like you not understanding friendship or love and going "why do we have it?", "Whats the need?" I know again it is something taught to you as you grow by family, friends etc but his Lusii should deal with some of that (even if he is lazy!)
(2)Some of this flaw works and others don't. I can say am happy with him not knowing the extent of the Army but not that he doesnt know they are up in space. Fine with not knowing how many colours are in the caste but not the significance (He doesn't have to care about the significance but to be aware of it!)

(1) It's not that he doesn't know what friendship or love is, he just doesn't know that they are in a grid and it must be filled. We do not have a grid in our culture for 'friend' and 'lover' and 'person I hate' and such.

(2) If he doesn't know the army exists, why does him not knowing they're in space not make sense?? This doesn't make sense to me >:


Anyway, updated <3 I'll get it right, eventually. Huhu.