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 Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:29 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:38 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:54 am
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The Struggle.
But things weren't always to be. When I was 3 years old, my father developed a drug habit; a habit which he would later put above his family and loved ones. My mother stood by him for 2 years, trying to make him change his ways. She had my brother in 93 and was 8 months pregnant with my second brother when he left. He took the car, all their savings, all her jewelery and left, leaving her to walk 5ks to work whilst 8 months pregnant because paying for a cab was not an option she could afford. When she was walking to work, he would drive past her and beep and wave.
Despite the hardship she had to go through, mum never gave up. She worked until 1 week before she gave birth to my brother Joseph and continued working a month after, leaving us children with our grandparents. She was stubborn and wouldn't accept defeat.
She always worked her hardest, until she fell sick. While working as a cleaner at a high school during afternoons, she witnessed a younger girl being bullied by 5 older students. Knowing the difference between right and wrong, something she always taught her children, Simone tried to stop them. They attacked her instead, causing a cerebral aneurysm that caused her to develop epilepsy. The symptoms were mild at first, she'd simply have blackouts and headaches.
It wasn't until I was about 6 that the seizures began. They were mild at first, of course I don't fully remember those ones, but as the years went on they came more and more frequently and more severe. The doctors gave her medication but it always made her tired and she refused to take it. She couldn't be tired when she had kids to look after.
In 1999, my little sister was born. She had a different father to me, a man mum had a year long relationship with who turned out to be bad news. Even though she has a different father to me, she's still my sister and I love her.
When my sister was a year old, mum had a car accident while she was taking her to daycare. She hit her head which caused her to have a seizure and ended up in hospital for a month. She had to have facial reconstruction on her nose and cheeks as well as false teeth put in. My sister, luckily enough, was unharmed.
When she was well enough, she had to go to court. Despite the fact that the driver who caused the accident was drunk, mum lost her license because they blamed her epilepsy and she would not regain it for 6 months.
It didn't stop her, she soldiered on. |
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:03 am
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The Hope
Even though she was sick, mum managed to finish her degree at the top of her class and got a full-time job as a registered nurse at a nursing home. By the time she was 28, she owned her own car and house, paid fully by herself despite having to raise 4 children by herself with no help from our fathers.
There was never a boring day with mum, we were always doing something exciting. Sundays were always our breakfast days. If the weather permitted it, we'd eat outside at the old table that rocked if you hit it on the old chairs that didn't match. Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice. It was perfect.
She was a dork, I'm proud to say. She loved old disco music and would break into song and dance whenever she got the chance - even if it was in public, much to my dismay. She'd play jokes on people she didn't even know and was always there to help someone who needed it.
A video game nerd, I never had to worry about being told not to play and I developed my love for games from her - I was practically born with Final Fantasy in my hand. She played with yu-gi-oh cards and pokemon and loved zombies more than a 15 year old teenage boy - all this she still did to her last day.
Some days, she'd wake us up early and ask us if we had anything important on. Of course we'd always say no and she'd call in sick to work and take us to an amusement park for the day. Even though she couldn't go on many rides, she always watched us and waved from the ground. She had a favourite ride - the Reptar Roller coaster. It was the only roller coaster she could go on and even though it was seen as the 'kiddy's' ride, she always went on it.
For a while, life was great. |
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:11 am
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The Depression
In January of 06, mum had another car accident, this one causing her no damage to her, but damaging the house of someone. The courts deemed her unfit to drive and she lost her license permanently. It didn't bother her at first, she simply caught the train and bus everywhere and relied on her family who were all too happy to help.
However, eventually it all became too much. Grocery shopping was hard, taking us to school was even harder and getting to work took her 2 hours. I could see it was upsetting her and I tried to reassure her as best I could, but I was only a child, I couldn't do much to reassure her.
So I helped out as best as I could. While she was working night shifts, I looked after my siblings, cooking them dinner, helping them with their homework and putting them to bed. When she was working early, I made the school lunches and made sure everyone got to school alright.
It was a lot for a 14 year old to do, but it didn't bother me. Mum was getting happier with some of the work taken off her shoulders. Then she lost her job. She spiraled down into depression and I watched, helplessly as she cried in bed for hours. In May of 2006, she tried to take her own life. Luckily, I found her in time and she was rushed to hospital and saved.
I had never been so angry in my life. I couldn't believe she would do something so selfish. I didn't speak to her for days when she came home. We stayed with my grandparents for a while and when we were sleeping on night, she appologised to us. My siblings told her it was okay, I pretended to be asleep. To this day, I regret not telling her I forgave her. I didn't hate her for what she did, I was disappointed that she would give up so easily, but I forgave her.
Things were okay for the next few weeks, a little shaky, but okay. |
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:21 am
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The End
If you're squeamish or easily disturbed, skip this post.
On the 6th of June, 2006, I was playing videogames with my brothers in the morning. It was 11am and mum wasn't awake yet, which normally was unusual except she'd worked until 3am that morning and so I figured she was just having a sleep in. It got to 1:30 and I knew something was wrong. Straight away. She wouldn't stay in bed this long. I told my brothers to wait here, I was going to go get something to eat. My little sister was playing across the street with her best friend, so I didn't have to worry about her.
I walked into mum's room and she appeared to be sleeping at first glance, only that she was pale and I could see her veins as if her skin was transparent. I tried to wake her up and she was freezing, she didn't make any sound or movement and she wasn't breathing. I called the ambulance right away and they were here within minutes.
Unfortunately, my brothers had heard me racing around and had some to see what was wrong and so they saw her too.
When the ambulance arrived they checked her but told me that there was nothing they could do, she'd been dead since about 6am this morning. I broke down, I couldn't believe it. She was only 33, there was no way she could die so young, not when there was so much life ahead of her. The paramedic called my family and they were over in twenty minutes.
My sister was still over her friend's house. They were watching a movie and her friend's mother who had seen the ambulance kept her over there, assuming mum had just had a seizure; she didn't want Kate to worry for no reason. She came over to make sure everything was okay and then she was told. She held me until my family came and cried with me before going back to my sister; she was young she didn't need to see this right now.
Detectives came also and questioned me about everything, I told them as much as I could. We were there for hours, long into the night. My sister wanted to come home, I went to get her. I had to tell her what had happened. She had to hear it from me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and the look on her face broke my heart.
We went to my grandma's that night and informed relatives and friends. My dad came along with my nanny and we spent the whole night remembering mum and all the great things she'd done. |
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:45 am
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Dealing
I never mourned over my mother. It wasn't because she wouldn't have wanted it, it's because I didn't have the time to. My siblings were relying on me now and I had to be strong for them. I put it behind me and moved on. 'It's a part of life,' I told myself. 'These things happen.'
We went to live with our grandparents. Mum had sole custody of us and it was in her will that we would go and live with them. However, if we wanted to live with our father, we were allowed to do so. None of us did. He'd been in and out of our lives and had never done anything for us. Why would we go to him now?
The night mum died, he promised us that he was going to be a father and that he wouldn't abandon us. A month later, he packed up and left without a word. We weren't surprised, we'd learnt to not hold our breath while waiting for him.
The loss of my mother hit us all hard, but my youngest siblings the most. My little sister was only 6, she was meant to know about death but not have experienced yet. She began acting out at school and despite constant begging from myself and my aunt's, my grandparents would not seek professional help for her. I consulted my school counselor and she wrote me a referal for my sister's school therapist. All it needed was my grandparents' signature.
I knew they would not give it, they were in denial about the whole thing and so I forged it. My sister began seeing the therapist twice a week and while she hated it at first, I began to notice the changes instantly.
My brothers and I were older and we shared the familiarity of having known mum longer. We held onto the memories we had and shared them with Kate to comfort her.
While my grandparents were great in raising us, we lived in a house that already had 5 people in it. Fights began and problems arose. My grandfather moved away for work and my aunty moved out, leaving my grandmother by herself. Once again, I had to take on the role of 'mother'. I raised my siblings for two years.
Because of this, my grades slipped. I began having troubles at school. Most teachers were understanding and when my grandfather came back, I was able to mostly catch up. However, a month before graduation, I fell sick and was hospitalized and missed all my finals. I was given the option of doing them in a week's time, giving me a week to study and do assignments. For a few days I tried, pulling all nighters. In the end it was too much and I was hospitalized for stress sickness and a nervous break down. At that time, I decided to leave school and go back when I felt ready.
My grandfather and I began to have problems and on one occasion, it became too much and I left home. I drifted from house to house, living with friends and working at waitressing jobs when I could. After a month, I couldn't take it anymore. I missed my family. I went back home and continued living there.
At the start of that year, I began talking to Christen again, who was my best friend for 6 years until we drifted apart. I was in love with him for 5 of those years, but since I was in high school I didn't notice until it was too late.
We began dating on the first of January and moved in together a month later. I was finally happy and I felt at peace. I had time to myself for once.
3 months after I left, my siblings went to live with my aunt. It became too much for my grandparents, especially when my grandfather suffered a second stroke.
They're still living there today and while we have our days where we're sad, we're all generally happy. Remembering mum doesn't bring us sadness, but happiness and laughter as we remember all the silly things she did.
We'll always love you, mum, nothing will ever change that. We know that you're watching over us. |
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 5:14 am
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The Memory.
Edit Category:
Soquili Species: Angeni
Body Build: Regular - If she could have pregnant body build, that'd be great, if not just regular is fine.
Gender: Female
Starting Stage: Adult
Concept Origin: In memory of my mother.
WIP Needed? Yes please.
~*~ Colors & Markings ~*~
Body: f2e1ce with 402e1b dappling. She had beauty spots that I used to call chocolate chips when I was little.
Face: A light blush on her cheeks.
xxxxxxEyes: These are very important. Mum had sectoral heterochromatica iridium. Basically, one section of her eye was a different colour. Her eyes were normally green (92aa72) but in her right (our right, her left) eye, there was a rusty brown (a0410d) section. x Except the section was on the bottom left of her eye.
Mane: Strawberry blonde (see ref) with brown(a67c52) streaks. Either in a plait, messy bun or pony tail.
Tail: Same colours as mane. Longggggg. Mum had long as hair, I was always jealous. It went to her knees. I called her Rapunzel when I was little. However, she always wore it in a plait or in a bun. But sometimes she wore it down. So mane is up, tail is down. >W<
Hooves/Fetlocks: Regular.
Reference Image(s): Hair colour
~*~ Physical Traits ~*~
Wings: White and same colour as her skin with brown flecks.
~*~ Accessories & Edits ~*~
Trading Post Items: Hoop earrings - but single hoop, please.
Custom Items: A toga like wrap. Like the one from Picollitrosso's Urn.
Reference Image(s) for Items: Sash idea 1 | it's called luxurious wrap. in the same colours as Pico's urn.
~*~ Tag Specifics ~*~
Name of horse: Simone
Owner: LOLTERNATIVE
Breed: In loving memory of you
Temper: Motherly
Mate: N/A
Tag Background: Wispy clouds by Felmino
Tag frame color: CC
Tag feather color(s): CC
~*~ Angeni ~*~
Desired Domain: Motherly Love (Motherhood is now taken)
Justification for Domain Choice: It's in memory of my mother whom passed away in 06. |
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 5:16 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 5:17 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 5:18 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 6:05 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 6:07 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 7:51 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 4:12 pm
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