I want my life to be over.

[tomatotomorrow]

I know how many people say that they want to end their life because they want the attention. But for the past year I have been seriously contemplating suicide more and more...the past two months or so I have been searching for ways to do it. I want to do it in such a way that will ideally be the least painful, and quick. Although most importantly, I do not want to mess it up and be living in a coma or with brain damage or something like that. Anybody I have tried talking to about my feelings just laugh it off and say I want attention.
I am 20 and I have bipolar disorder, severe anxiety and depression, things I have battled my whole life. I was able to try and move through it, but lately I see no hope. I have never had a job before, and just recently I was convicted of two felonies, which makes me feel like I will never be able to get a good job and never be able to live the life I have dreamed of. I plead guilty to the two felonies because of a plea bargain; and now I am completely regretting it because I pled guilty to the things that I did not do. I have never been able to keep friends. The friends I have made have always wanted nothing to do with me after a while because they say that I am crazy, and I think they are right. I fear that I will never be able to make true friends after everything I have done in my life, and who I am. I do not want to live anymore; I feel like I will only be living a life that is full of hardship more than most people encounter in their lives.
I am so lonely all of the time and I have nobody to talk to. I have spoken to counsellors and taken meds but it still does not fix my feelings of wanting to end my life.

Does anybody know of any websites that offer serious suggestions on how to commit suicide properly?
Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.  

[tomatotomorrow]

Another thing is that I know how pathetic I am...I am so ashamed of who I am that I do not know how to deal with it.  

[XxChOcLaTePoKiIxX]

tomatotomorrow

I know how many people say that they want to end their life because they want the attention. But for the past year I have been seriously contemplating suicide more and more...the past two months or so I have been searching for ways to do it. I want to do it in such a way that will ideally be the least painful, and quick. Although most importantly, I do not want to mess it up and be living in a coma or with brain damage or something like that. Anybody I have tried talking to about my feelings just laugh it off and say I want attention.
I am 20 and I have bipolar disorder, severe anxiety and depression, things I have battled my whole life. I was able to try and move through it, but lately I see no hope. I have never had a job before, and just recently I was convicted of two felonies, which makes me feel like I will never be able to get a good job and never be able to live the life I have dreamed of. I plead guilty to the two felonies because of a plea bargain; and now I am completely regretting it because I pled guilty to the things that I did not do. I have never been able to keep friends. The friends I have made have always wanted nothing to do with me after a while because they say that I am crazy, and I think they are right. I fear that I will never be able to make true friends after everything I have done in my life, and who I am. I do not want to live anymore; I feel like I will only be living a life that is full of hardship more than most people encounter in their lives.
I am so lonely all of the time and I have nobody to talk to. I have spoken to counsellors and taken meds but it still does not fix my feelings of wanting to end my life.

Does anybody know of any websites that offer serious suggestions on how to commit suicide properly?
Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

im with you i think when im going to die why i was made why anything was made and i just wanna go reach for the needles or my siccors and just stab myslef over and over,but then i think about all the people that love me,what about them?  

[tomatotomorrow]

Quote:

im with you i think when im going to die why i was made why anything was made and i just wanna go reach for the needles or my siccors and just stab myslef over and over,but then i think about all the people that love me,what about them?

I try to think of the people who love me, but there aren't really any. My family have estranged themselves from me because they say I am an embarrasment to them. My only true friend was my boyfriend for the past two years, and he left me because he discovered that I had cheated on him while we were together. That alone makes me hate myself so much for being so stupid..he told me that he should have left me long ago anyway because I am a crazy whore, who in his words is ugly and a lousy lay. I don't think I will ever be able to find somebody who loved me like he did, considering who I am. It seems that nobody I have tried talking to about this really understands, and I feel like I will be unable to make friends because my whole personality revolves around my problems.  

[tomatotomorrow]

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it.  

[XxChOcLaTePoKiIxX]

dont listen to them,i bet your the most sweetest girl ive ever met,i got a twisted ankle by a kid at scholl whithout telling my mom or dad because my dad says im so stuiped for being clumy and so does my mom,people dont know what there saying,there just stuiped assholes,dont listen to them  

[x-Her_Shirokuma-x]

trust me i've thought about it, tried it, failed at it, and did it again. its not worth it  

[tomatotomorrow]

Thank you guys. : )  

[x-Her_Shirokuma-x]

if you have anything you wanna talk about privately feel free to pm me  

[Hoshioni]

look before you die, since you cant take take a day off from life but can live to die another day, why not try some non pharmicudical methiods of happiness,

like the following

1. a gallon of water a day
2. rigorous phisal activity daily (sweating soreness etc)
3. a high sprectum diet lots of different kinds of fruits and veggies.

now then consider this to yourself, why do you feel the need to die? is it really your fault if so why? have you tried traveling? saying how you really feel (mean if you want to die what do you have to lose)  

[XxChOcLaTePoKiIxX]

tomatotomorrow

Thank you guys. : )

no problamo im always here to help ^^  

[banish3dmystery]

Hey just wanted you to know that I am here for you and other people here on the guild are here to help. I will always be here. Pm me if you need anything. smile Just keep hope and trying because the worst in life doesn't always last forever.  

[- RH Lawliet]

tomatotomorrow

I know how many people say that they want to end their life because they want the attention. But for the past year I have been seriously contemplating suicide more and more...the past two months or so I have been searching for ways to do it. I want to do it in such a way that will ideally be the least painful, and quick. Although most importantly, I do not want to mess it up and be living in a coma or with brain damage or something like that. Anybody I have tried talking to about my feelings just laugh it off and say I want attention.
I am 20 and I have bipolar disorder, severe anxiety and depression, things I have battled my whole life. I was able to try and move through it, but lately I see no hope. I have never had a job before, and just recently I was convicted of two felonies, which makes me feel like I will never be able to get a good job and never be able to live the life I have dreamed of. I plead guilty to the two felonies because of a plea bargain; and now I am completely regretting it because I pled guilty to the things that I did not do. I have never been able to keep friends. The friends I have made have always wanted nothing to do with me after a while because they say that I am crazy, and I think they are right. I fear that I will never be able to make true friends after everything I have done in my life, and who I am. I do not want to live anymore; I feel like I will only be living a life that is full of hardship more than most people encounter in their lives.
I am so lonely all of the time and I have nobody to talk to. I have spoken to counsellors and taken meds but it still does not fix my feelings of wanting to end my life.

Does anybody know of any websites that offer serious suggestions on how to commit suicide properly?
Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I wont tell you how but I'll tell you that there is no foolproof way of doing it. When I was depressed I tried, many times. I regret each and every one of them.
That's enough about me.
You aren't crazy smile there's nothing wrong with you biggrin
If people can't understand that then they're not worth it at all smile
Life may not seem worth living right now, but soon things will pick up biggrin
If you want a friend, I'll be here biggrin always smile
I don't have Bipolar but I'm not completely sane xD I have Borderline Personality disorder :/ I have a couple of friends with Bipolar and theres not too much difference between them and some other of my friends smile  

[Bellazara]

It's not your fault.
And you're not pathetic! You have a serious problem, and it's only natural to hate it.None of it is your fault...Life sucks, but the worst parts will pass. Your "friends" sound like they were bitches anyway; surely you will find better ones. You'll find another boyfriend, and no doubt when you tell your story you will find a good job.
I don't know anything about bipolar disorder, unfortunately. But I do know that you're not going to fix anything by killing yourself! Think of it this way: it will make a hole in people's hearts. Even though you say you have no friends, think of all the lives you touch every day.
If you want to talk, or vent, or anything at all, PM me.  

[cokefair]

What about the person who has to find your body , surrounded by blood ?
What about the terror and pain that they'll have to remember for the rest of their lives ?
What about them having to feel guilty for being 'too late' every day of their lives ?
What about them holding your body screaming in agony as they can't even get the strength to leave you to get a phone to call for help ?
What about the depression you'll leave them in ?
What about them having to walk away , soaked in your blood and their tears ?
What about them yelling at your paralytic body "Please live ! I love you ! I need you ! Please ." ?
What about all the tears you'll cause people you aren't aware of ?


Life is so fragile , and we fight for it everyday - even against our own hands .
When you kill yourself , you're also becoming a murderer .
You're killing pieces of the people who still love you .
You're tearing holes into their hearts that can't even seal with time .

So what about them ?

Suicide isn't always hurting yourself , you're also hurting others . You have a beautiful soul , I can tell . And it hurts to know people like you , feel the need to kill themselves .