Post your problems here.

[Country Rain]

If you're having problems with coming out or just a problem in general feel free to post it here and if anyone can help then feel free to stay and help. :]


Current Problem: I kinda want to come out to my parents but have no idea how to.. I'm tired of hiding my gf from them and tired of asking if my "friend" can come over. I want to be open with them but having a hard time telling them..  

[Luminius Lunaris]

Well, I think that you should tell the truth to them today or tomorrow, my dear. Anyway, I would like to know how do I tell my dad that I'm bisexual....He's homophobic so, yeah...  

[Lyndsa]

Coming out is a hard thing to do - no matter what age you are!! I see a trends for people coming out. Typically it is done in this order:

1) The internet
2) Close friends
3) Group of friends
4) Brother/Sister
5) Parents/Caretaker
6) Extended family

For starters, it is much easier to start testing your awareness of possibly being attracted to the same sex online as you don't have to worry about it affecting your reality. This is good to get a better understanding of who you are and what it is truly like for people who are gay.

It is one thing to not be accepted by your friends (you can always replace them - even though it hurts) but it is another to not be accepted by your family. Your family loves you no matter what - but for some individuals it completely goes against everything they believe in (this is a whole other conversation I can get into later) and are unable to accept it. For others, it takes a little bit of some 'warming-up' to the idea through education and awareness. The lucky few have family who accept right from the start ... or even know you are gay before you do!!!!

So, how to tell the parents. This is completely dependent on the individual situation. For myself, I waited until I left home so that I was no longer dependent on my parents. this I think may be easier in most cases (when dealing with family you know will not accept it). However, being honest is always important. So if they ask you ....... then that means they are already thinking about it and it may make things a little easier to start conversation.

If you would like more specific 'advice' please feel free to PM me with your personal situation. Please keep in mind that 'advice' is only a suggestion through one persons experience and not to be taken as fact. 'Advice' is something for you to consider and weigh against other opinions - including your own.

Best wishes,

Lyndsa  

[Kimillia]

I’d catch a GRANADE for ya
Throw my hand on a BLADE for ya
I’d jump in front of a TRAIN for ya
You know I'd do ANYTHING for ya

Oh what a good idea
Well here is my problem of the day Dx
------~~~~-------
My friends and I joke about being Lesbian or Bi
I for hand take it to heart about half the things they say.
I told them once that I might be Bi
They freaked.
Then one told me she was Bi
She moved
Right after I knew I was Bi
I told my friends I was stright
I dont want them not acting like themself around me.
Yet I still Hang with them....
Not acting like my true self
Only here I can be me.

I would go through all this PAIN
Take a BULLET straight through my brain
Yes, I would DIE for ya baby
But you WON'T do the same

 

[Country Rain]

GlowinCondoms

I’d catch a GRANADE for ya
Throw my hand on a BLADE for ya
I’d jump in front of a TRAIN for ya
You know I'd do ANYTHING for ya

Oh what a good idea
Well here is my problem of the day Dx
------~~~~-------
My friends and I joke about being Lesbian or Bi
I for hand take it to heart about half the things they say.
I told them once that I might be Bi
They freaked.
Then one told me she was Bi
She moved
Right after I knew I was Bi
I told my friends I was stright
I dont want them not acting like themself around me.
Yet I still Hang with them....
Not acting like my true self
Only here I can be me.

I would go through all this PAIN
Take a BULLET straight through my brain
Yes, I would DIE for ya baby
But you WON'T do the same

Well I know it's hard coming out to your friends. I would examine your friends and figure out which ones you can trust with a secret like that and come out to them one at a time. if they leave you then it means that they are not true friends. I know it will hurt if you lose them but it's better to be true with your friends than live a lie.  

[Kimillia]

I’d catch a GRANADE for ya
Throw my hand on a BLADE for ya
I’d jump in front of a TRAIN for ya
You know I'd do ANYTHING for ya

I told myself that too.
But if they reject me
Then im afriad to tell my family
I want to come out of this stupid a** box
But maybe this box is whats keeping me safe

I would go through all this PAIN
Take a BULLET straight through my brain
Yes, I would DIE for ya baby
But you WON'T do the same

 

[Lyndsa]

GlowinCondoms

I’d catch a GRANADE for ya
Throw my hand on a BLADE for ya
I’d jump in front of a TRAIN for ya
You know I'd do ANYTHING for ya

I told myself that too.
But if they reject me
Then im afriad to tell my family
I want to come out of this stupid a** box
But maybe this box is whats keeping me safe

I would go through all this PAIN
Take a BULLET straight through my brain
Yes, I would DIE for ya baby
But you WON'T do the same

How would you act/be different if people knew you were gay/bi? You are who you are and you are not defined by being "gay" or "bi" unless you believe you are yourself. You are just labelling yourself. I act the same around people who know I am a lesbian or think I am straight. I struggled with this at first but finally learned that it does not define me (freeing me from the 'box I placed my own self in). Other people can't place you in the box only you can!!

That being said, there is a right and a wrong time to open a box ... just like Christmas presents. You will know who and when to tell people when you are ready. In the mean-time don't let it control you!!!

=-)  

[Kimillia]

I’d catch a GRANADE for ya
Throw my hand on a BLADE for ya
I’d jump in front of a TRAIN for ya
You know I'd do ANYTHING for ya

Your right. Its like a Christmas box
At times I find the right moment
Then I don't do a thing
I found the ones
I want to tell
And if they throw me in the trash
I know that they weren't there for me
Like they said
-----~~~~-----
Never thought High School could be
So tough?

I would go through all this PAIN
Take a BULLET straight through my brain
Yes, I would DIE for ya baby
But you WON'T do the same

 

[Country Rain]

Sometimes it's hard to find people that will be there for you through those times when you really need them. It's really hard to find those people who will stay by your side.  

[Lyndsa]

Yes indeed. High School was one of the hardest times of my life but also one of the best!!!! It is a time of self awareness - when you learn the most about yourself and the world around you.

Confusion - Revelations
Scary - Exciting
Anger - Joy
Hate - Love
Lonely - Closer friendships
Knowledge - Wisdom
...

Fewf!!! Just thinking about it all .... PLUS being a woman does not help!! Who gave us all these wacky hormones anyways??? Well it sure makes life one wicked roller-coaster ride!! Hang on tight!!!  

[Kimillia]

I’d catch a GRANADE for ya
Throw my hand on a BLADE for ya
I’d jump in front of a TRAIN for ya
You know I'd do ANYTHING for ya

Its true
You will find the right friends
Or you will find the worng
Its all how who choose

I would go through all this PAIN
Take a BULLET straight through my brain
Yes, I would DIE for ya baby
But you WON'T do the same

 

[Country Rain]

yes indeed. High school is where you find some of your true friends and maybe your future husband/wife.  

[Kimillia]

I’d catch a GRANADE for ya
Throw my hand on a BLADE for ya
I’d jump in front of a TRAIN for ya
You know I'd do ANYTHING for ya

Indeed it might
I still have three years for it.
And yes girls might have it the hardest
But so do guys
With their thing
Going each diriction.
Hopefully I can last to my Senior Year

I would go through all this PAIN
Take a BULLET straight through my brain
Yes, I would DIE for ya baby
But you WON'T do the same

 

[Lyndsa]

Ehehehehe that is so true - poor guys - I can't imagine what that is like!!!


Well, you will make it and look back at it all with one huge smile!!!!  

[Country Rain]

You will make it to your senior year. Trust me. I am in my senior year and I just got my first gf this year. :] We have been on and off for a few months but it's alright.
If I made it to my senior year than you can make it to your senior year.