Every one of my poems will be posted in here.

[iiEatCandii]

Im deleting all my old sad poems as a way to start
a new life with a new opinion and new views, so bear with me.
I will post all my pieces and number them as well as title them.
My smaller poems will be put into the same post and lettered
(A,B,C, etc.). Feel free to just read them and move on or comment
on them, whatever you feel like, however i dont expect you to
comment on all of them, there is a lot.
Thank you for your time. :]
-Sidney

 

[iiEatCandii]

1. Shadows

A girl shadowed by her sins
A girl haunted by her past
A girl who hungered for forgiveness
For what she couldn’t make last
A girl who longs for a second chance
At what she wants so badly to restore
She’s scared to take the first step though
For she doesn’t know what life has in store
She’s scared to take the dive
And throw her feelings into space
Once she does though she feels more alive
Because the boy strokes her face
And whispers that its all okay
Don’t worry my love I forgive you
I missed you like crazy
I want to beg your forgiveness too
When I heard what happened, my mind went hazy
And I became irrational and rash
I just want you back into my life.

 

[iiEatCandii]

2. Can’t Happen.

I can’t bear to see your face,
‘Cus when I do I can’t help but go to this place,
That’s full of one too many tears and too much heartbreak,
That’s almost too much for one girl to take.
Around everybody I have to try and fake,
Hold back the tears and put a smile on my face,
I can fool my friends,
And I can fool the rest,
But I can’t fool myself ‘cus I know I’m not the best.
I love you and you know it’s true,
But what I know is that I’m just not right for you.
As much as I hate to admit it I cannot lie,
I know there can never be a you and I,
Not now not ever,
Not even if I promise to love you forever.
It cannot work since you love another girl,
Who to you is your entire world.
You love her an I love you,
So I envy her for making you happy like I’ve always wanted to,
I’m glad she loves you,
I’m happy for you too,
I just want you to know that I’ll always love you.

 

[iiEatCandii]

3.Dying inside

Wishing you were mine
To hold in my arms
I’m under your charm

I sit all day long
Writing you songs
Confessing my feelings
You give them meaning.

I cry out
But I doubt
You can hear
I guess your covering your ears

I sit and cry
Tears streaming from my crimson eyes
I want to be there for you
Even if right now you don’t want me too

I see a star,
I wish to move far
Away from this place
So I don’t have to see your face

You remind me of what I loved and lost
Of how to the side I got tossed
When I told you I cared
I was hurt and you were despaired.


A friendship gone
By one little song
That was placed in your hands
Painting the picture perfectly with crayons

 

[iiEatCandii]

4.All Hearts are Broken

I’ve been rejected and refused,
My heart is bruised,
I have nothing but pain,
But nothing to take it away,
There are no lights shining through,
I have no one to talk to,
Have to spill out my heart,
On paper, in words, that’s my art.
Afraid of being alone,
But I never have it shown,
I keep it concealed,
So you can’t see how I feel.
I keep my smile plastered,
The art of concealment,
I have it mastered.

 

[iiEatCandii]

5. Done with that

Another forlorn night tormented by my eternal thoughts of you
Even after I say to myself that, I am ******** through
I am over your undying smile and your polite personality
I want to wake up and be in an alternate reality
Where you are nothing to me and I mean everything to you
So the tables will be turned and you can feel the pain of the one you love being cruel
You do nothing but eradicate me inside from the moment I see you
I swear I wish I could just get over you but for that there is no “How To”
No book to tell me what to do, how to think, how to be
I hoped that the truth would somehow set me free
But it did nothing but distort my mind
And send me on a futile hunt to find
Some scrap of unreal evidence that you feel that way for me as well
I always expected things to change for you to love me and have it play out like a fairy tale
But I learned the hard way that things don’t happen that way
And I relearn that lesson every second of every day
That I won’t have you and that I will never get that prince charming guy
That those childhood storybook tales were all one big tragic lie
I know now that there is no such thing as “happily ever after” in real life
That there is no escape from the hurt, the tears, and the undying strife
No matter how hard you try to make it better there is no cure
No positive guarantee, no way to be sure
No way to fix a broken heart and no way to take back the words
There’s no way to make the bitter truth come out sugared
No way to protect your love – It’s not possible
There’s no line you can draw that’s not crossable
If you truly love someone, you do things you normally wouldn’t do
Like when you keep telling yourself that you’re completely through
But he still crosses your mind in your spare time
And he’s the one that’s always in your heart you find
And no matter how hard you try he’s always there
When you finally mend your heart he’s there with a broken spare
He’s always there to make sure you don’t get fixed
And once you feel like your emotions are finally figured out, he helps them get mixed
He jumbles your mind and makes it hard to feel all the way there
You can scream and shout and cry but it won’t make things fair
You have to try to just move on and deal
To somehow make the forged things real
Take your hopes of being whole and make them a reality
For that’s the only true way to save your sanity

 

[iiEatCandii]

6. Who am I?

I don’t even know who the hell I am anymore
I used to be happy to leave now I shutter when I step out my door
Because I see the place where you stomped my heart into the floor
And it reminds me of all the times I still went back for more

I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday
When you called me over I walked slowly, I was so afraid
You’d say what you did unemotionally say
I cant believe after that in my hearts where you still stayed

I think I lost myself that day, I think I died
When I said I cried myself to sleep that night I didn’t lie
When I think about those words you said it still brings tears to my eyes
Even though it was so long ago I still feel like I’m going to cry sometimes

I don’t know why I even try to fill the empty hole
I don’t know why I still stare at the stars in the night time cold
I still wait for 11:11 so I can make a wish to be told
You love me, but I’m losing the game-maybe it’s time to fold

Time to lay down the cards I was dealt
Get over the feelings I regrettably felt
Time to forget how with just a glance you would make me melt
Stop remembering cause thats how im going to save myself

Ill forget all the things that I shouldn’t have said
Even though I know it’s due to me that I feel this way-I get the cred
It’s my fault I remember the heartache as I lay in bed
It’s my problem if I can’t get over- well let’s call him “Fred”

 

[iiEatCandii]

7. Emotions on a High

Tears overflowing,
But emotions never showing.
Falling apart,
But appearing so put together.

I’m a master at this show,
More than you could ever know.
I hide my feelings so that no one will see,
What you have done to me.


You’ve broken me down,
Made me expose my frown,
Now everyone is asking,
How long was this happening?


I write my pain away,
So that I’d never have to face,
The way I really feel inside,
It hurts so bad every day I cry.



I can’t really explain how sad I feel,
Sometimes I think it would hurt less if I was killed.
But I have to swallow up my fears,
And wipe away all my tears.

Sometimes I wonder what the point is,
Why it is that I have to feel like this.
There are times I try to pretend I can be happy,
But it feels so fake, way too sappy.

I just want one time,
Where a boy I love will love me and be mine,
But if it doesn’t happen I won’t die,
I feel I have to tell you that last line was a lie.

 

[iiEatCandii]

8. Cheated of Love

A tear falls from her blue gray eyes,
Wipe your tears girl you’re in for a surprise.
Remember that boy you so dearly care for?
Well he’s messing around with that $2 whore.

Why are you covering your face girl, didn’t you know?
Couldn’t you see the distance between the two of you grow?
Didn’t you notice that he talks to her more?
Sweetheart just stop, you’ll get what you’re waiting for.

He will tell you that he didn’t mean it he swears.
He will tell you that its only for you that he cares
Its up to you to stay girl, only up to you
Its your decision and your decision only what you want to do

 

[iiEatCandii]

9. F**k It

Today it is time to take the cover off
Cause I’m done hiding my feelings with a cough
Its way past the time to let the vicious words fly
So ******** what if the brutal truth makes you cry
Why should I live with it simmering inside of me
While you get to live your life happy as can be?
No. I will not accept that, its time for me to speak up
Im going to tell everyone what I think cause I don’t give a ******** time to take a ******** stand
Its time to say this and put it out there like a force of god, not like a man
So here I go, this is your chance to close your ears
Cause when I speak I will scare you more than your greatest fears

(I actually havent finished it. But oh well. If you want to add to it be my guest. I would love to hear your take on the emotions :])

 

[iiEatCandii]

10. Dreams

I don’t know what the hell is going on with my head
But it seems to be something as heavy as ton of lead
The dreams I get make me sad and fearful
What you don’t understand is that when I wake up with no dreams I’m cheerful
I don’t like the haunting thoughts of what could be
I don’t like having a dream where there is no longer a you and me
I’m perfectly content making my own dreams when I’m wide awake and happy
Where I can dream up dreams of love stories and scenes so sappy
Dreams for me are just nightmares I cannot control
Like scary movies where all my greatest fears unfold
I don’t like thinking of death and pain and fear
Where I could be walking around, blind, in an old creepy house screaming at every sound I hear
For me, my dreams feel too real
If I get hit or cut, or brushed up against, that’s exactly what I feel
And I react in my dreams how I would if I were really there
If I get strangled in my dream I wake up gasping for air
I never dream happy things when I sleep anymore
Its like when I fall asleep I walk through a door
Into a scary world where I have no choice but to stay
And I’m forced to be trapped alone on my bed where I lay.

 

[iiEatCandii]

11. Experienced

Experience taught me nothing is really as good as it seems,
No one is who they crack themselves up to be,
Everyone wants something back for what they give out,
Nothing is for free; I know that now without a doubt.
Don’t trust a guy he’s not what he’s projecting himself to be,
All he wants is your body, not your mind and heart,
I always thought “well he wants part of me that’s at least a start”
Then I wanted more, I wanted a guy to love me for who I was,
But there were very few guys handing out their love.
I was taken advantage of by a few,
And it wasn’t until I looked back that I knew.

 

[iiEatCandii]

12. His Hands.

Another hit, another tear
Another night stricken into fear
You pray to God to make him stop
You pray for someone to call the cops
You want to get away
But all you can do is pray
He’ll overpower you and make you stay
He’ll sleep by the door so there’s no escape
No sneaking out into the cold dark night
He wants you to stay in a traumatic state of fright
You think how could this happen to me?
How did this come to be?
Your family thinks they know but they don’t
They can try to help but they won’t
They make matters worse
They think it’s just physical hurt
It’s nothing they could ever know
So you wait in fear for him to show
To take you back to that abusive place
There’s no escaping from that man’s hate
And fear and jealousy and controlling ways
If he comes back and makes you stay
That could be the end of your life that day.

 

[iiEatCandii]

13. I Can Fly.


I’m crying and texting my friend on the phone,
My hearts been broken and I feel so alone,
Falling apart, piece by piece,
Everyone tells me it’s not just me,
That love has got the ability,
To tear down buildings that touch the sky,
And loves got the ability to make you fly.
I say that I love to easily,
They tell me its love that sets me free.
I say that I fall for guys and get hurt too much,
They told me to relax, that it’s only a crush,
I say why am I always the one, who’s heartbroken,
They say because the wrong boys are the ones that you have chosen.
I say how will I know which boy is right,
They say you’ll know ‘cus for you, he’ll fight.

 

[iiEatCandii]

14. Resend

I love you but the feelings aren’t returned,
I don’t want to be the broken hearted girl,
You just can’t shake,
I want to be the girl you can’t erase from your head,
When you lying awake in your bed.
I want to be the one that you can’t stop thinking about,
The girl that makes you know without a doubt,
That true love exists.
The girl that you always miss.
I wish you would love me as strong as I do you,
But I know that’s a wish no angel can make come true.