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 Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:22 am
When you're already in your healthy weight range, and pretty small, I don't think losing weight in itself is important. Shouldn't you just be focusing on being in good shape, rather than a certain number on the scale?
I really like this guild, because it's not like the others I've tried. many of them just consisted of healthy weight, and underweight, girls who wanted to lose 5 pounds. But many of the members here I can relate to, because they have an upwards of 30 pounds or so to drop. And it's definitely far from pro-ana bullshit.
But I guess I would just have to observe, that in other places, I see a lot of average to small girls who are nearly obsessed with losing 5 or 10 extra pounds. To me, that seems trivial. You're already at what's considered a healthy weight, why not just focus on what you see in the mirror, rather than on the scale? Tone up if you want.
I remember being told in school that anorexics actually have very high percentages of body fat. Because they starve their body of muscle, and even though there isn't much to them, what is there is FAT. It made a lot of sense.
Now, I am not implying that by being smaller that you are anorexic by any means. All I am saying, is that if simply weighing less is your only focus, then your actual image is probably going to suffer for it.
And merely suggesting, that you could put your focus less on losing weight, and more on gaining self confidence and a better body image.
Then again, my 214 pound a** is not the expert on weight loss.
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:56 am
You might be surprised to know that many people who are overweight have a much better grasp on *how* to lose it rather than people who don't really have a problem staying at a certain weight that they are happy with. It's because we do the research. We may be losing it already, or we may be unable to put our own advice into practice, however we know enough to write a book about it for sure.
I think that's part of the reason you'll see so many relatively thin people trying to lose weight in unhealthy ways. Ie: Ana-mia. However there are other factors in that issue. For the first part, they aren't rational desires and they can turn into something like anorexia or bulimia, and those will haunt a person who has gone down that rabbit hole for the rest of their lives.
Some of the most intelligent, feminist-minded women I know have struggled with one or both of those issues. My room mate and one of my best friends is so weak (still) that we put our bowls in the bottom cupboards because if they're above her head she won't be able to lift them down without risking dropping them. It's because she lost about twenty pounds in four weeks or so, and the horrifying thing is that no one asked why, or about her eating at all. Everyone commented that she looked lovely, and she remembers *everyone* not just students, but teachers being nice to her. That's the cultural reward for anorexia.
I struggle with the idea of these types of groups, on the one hand they promote something that is absolutely terrible, bad for you and is very likely going to kill the person who is undertaking it.
And on the other hand, because I've been in them, I know that they are usually (the good ones) first and foremost about harm reduction. Most people greet a skinny person trying to lose weight without any comprehension at best, or with contempt (more often than not) at worst. It's a haven for many people and there can be a lot of information on how to stay alive/minimize the extreme amount of damage you *will* be doing to your body.
The most important thing is that these sites provide community. Before *anything else* (it's part of the harm reduction stand point) they provide community and that is essential. The main cause of death within anorexics and bulimics is not complications of their disorders. It's suicide. The last time I clicked onto a site like that, and I do from time to time because I know more about nutrition than the average bear and I often comment pushing for health or at least as much nutritional content as possible. But the last time I clicked on there was a moderator announcement reminding people that the leading cause of death was in fact suicide and to announce that one of their members had recently killed herself. She spoke of kindness and support and it broke my heart.
That's never to say that these sites are great and that we should all love them and ect. ect. To my mind our numbers should be inverse in a more ideal world than this one (in a perfect world I suppose there would be no ana-mia sites) there should be more healthy weight-loss sites and groups than unhealthy ones. But sadly that's not the case. We are the minority and I'm so glad that I found this site when I did. I really didn't fit in trying to give advice to women and girls that won't take it.
My goal has generally been to be fit enough to run or bike or other such form of movement, away from something I need to run away from. Ie: Bear, attacker, what my premier is doing to my province, hippogriff ect. ect.
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:34 am
I guess what I worry about, when it's a community, is that what's already acceptable in one person's mind...is suddenly validated by hundreds of others. And it might not necessarily be a HEALTHY or SAFE thing.
I've had friends who have struggled with eating disorders. And it's so hard to watch.
I would never consider myself to have been bulimic or anorexic, but in my early teens I really did struggle with body image and weight. Sometimes I would just deprive myself of food, as a sick form of punishment. When I didn't feel good enough, when I know I'd been gaining, when I was stressed out, etc. And other time's I would purge. I was never "skinny" so I guess I didn't see what was wrong it. But as I'm older, I realize it was never about what size my body was, and it was all about how I treated it. I can't even imagine how horrible that could have become for me, if I had someone in my life who told me it was acceptable.
At this point in my life, I am obviously much mentally healthier. I don't intentionally harm my body, and I have a good grasp on what's healthy vs. whats the aesthetic standard.
I don't care if I ever fit into a size 3 again.
And I don't care if the scale ever goes below 160.
I just want to be healthier. I can live with my body the way it is. I can love my body the way it is. But a part of that respect I have for myself, is simply wanting to improve myself wherever I can.
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:12 pm
It's not just communities justifying thin girls getting thinner but communities promoting unsafe ways to lose weight. Diet supplements and pills, fad diets, random articles of clothing or equipment that make you shed pounds with no work... Even surgery is taking it too far in my opinion.
The only tried and true method to lose weight is a well balanced diet consisting of 2000 calories or less and exercise. And yet, these companies and people target people like us, who are at their heaviest they've been in their lives and try and make money off us because they think we're stupid. And some of us are. They think because we're fat, we must be lazy, so they try and give us an easy way out. And it bothers me to no end to hear ads on the radio for band surgery! Because dieting is as much psychological as it is physical! Just because you have some band around your stomach or drinking a diet shake daily, isn't going to make your mind turn off when you're bored and you suddenly need a snack.
I guess what people who take the easy way out and people who have never had to diet before don't get is that it IS psychological. After my last failed attempt, it took me over 2 years to get back to realize I wanted to be thin and healthy again. I'm struggling right now with my hormones because I know I need to eat correctly, but my cravings are throwing me through a loop. Depression, happiness, anger, boredom... they all effect how we eat... and until you can gain control of those emotions and the eating that goes with it, it's a huge struggle.
As for what has been stated before. It is really disheartening to see so many girls obsessed with that extra 5-10lbs. Because in reality, it's not the weight that needs to be lost, but the muscles that need to be toned. But it's also about realizing your own body shape and type. Not everyone is going to be able to slim down to a size 4 again and look healthy. I just wish there was some way to make people realize this.
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:41 pm
Once you build the muscle it will chew through the extra 'fat' you see on your body. It's true. You won't lose the ten pounds but you will look fantastic.
And also I'm always horrified by the 1500 and under calorie a day diets I see people even here getting into or suggesting sometimes.
Edit:
I'll update this to say that this opinion isn't fair because there are indeed people for whom a 1500 calorie a day diet, however my personal reaction remains the same. But it's not fair to be understanding of one group and less so of another. It frightens me for people and it makes me worry for them.
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:04 pm
I just don't think that it's any different with someone wanting to lose 5 pounds than it is 50. If it's unhealthy it doesn't matter how much the goal is. But if it's healthy and someone wants to lose weight (fat or not) it doesn't really matter if it's 5 or 100 pounds.
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Stars in my Pocket Vice Captain
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