Hey,
I tried my luck at a small redline!
It's mostly just three things that I fixed. One was the alignment of the eyes-- they were at kind of different angles, which was making the image look a bit off. When drawing eyes, sometimes it helps to start with a circle and work from there. Second, I extended and widened the jaw just a little bit. I'm not sure why, but it seemed like it was too skinny to me. And lastly, I thought the neck looked a bit thin, particularly for a guy, so I tried beefing it up a bit. I'd cross reference the neck, though, just in case-- I still struggle with those so it may be off. :3
Hope that helps... good luck!