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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 9:05 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 10:41 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:21 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:45 pm
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For me, my traditions depend on the visitors in question. Strangers are given courtesy, food, drink, medical attention if they need it and a means to maintain warmth. While things are polite, a stranger is closer to the line of violating hospitality than a friend is, thus, violations end in abrupt removal of them from the household.
Friends tend to be favored with gifts. They aren't allowed to work while here until they have been here at least once, usually more.
Violations are handled differently. It is against hospitality to tell someone in front of a group that they're messing up. It has to be done discretely. This is a ******** pain in the a** and it doesn't go smoothly usually.
There are of course household rules to be followed, just as I would follow rules in another's home.
Established enemies aren't granted hospitality beyond that of strangers- and it isn't a taboo to bar them from entering the dwelling place.
Further- all reasonable efforts are to be made to keep a guest from violating their own personal customs, based on severity of the offense and ability to make accommodations.
Lively discussion isn't a taboo, in fact, it is often encouraged. However, upon requests to refrain, one must do so. This gets complicated at times because there is a cultural understanding between things being an actual request for a behavior to stop and a false protest. sweatdrop
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Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:35 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:52 pm
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Violet Song jat Shariff Crew
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:55 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:58 pm
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Violet Song jat Shariff Taliah I tend to want to help when visiting with my aunt, so I'll help her with the dishes and table clean up. In Tea's case, I'm not sure how exactly that might work. I'm the same way when I go visit folks. When I was growing up, it was considered really rude to go eat at someone's house and then not even at least offer to help with the clean up sweatdrop .
Same here. It just felt awkward to me because they were having to wash what I dirtied up and could very well clean myself and help them get it done faster.
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 10:06 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:25 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:39 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 8:29 pm
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TeaDidikai What traditions does your religion mandate when it comes to hospitality?
This is colored by my culture more so than my religion, I think. I try to take care of whatever need my guests might have. As you said, it would be rude for someone new to the house to work. The more they're over, the more comfortable I feel with them getting their own drinks, etc.
Is it different between strangers, friends and enemies?
I treat strangers courteously - I don't typically invite them into the house. If they are in need of help, I try my best to oblige. If they overstep their bounds, such as inviting themselves in without express permission or by inviting themselves into my fridge, for example, I'm no longer under any obligation of hospitality.
The first time my friends are over, they get whatever they want, but I familiarize them quickly. biggrin Friends are part of the family, as it were. They don't wear shoes in the house, and if they want, I have some nice slippers they can wear.
Enemies are treated as such. I am polite until they provide provocation. My house is guarded against them and they are denied entry under any circumstance. I'm not obligated to provide them assistance of any kind.
Quote: Where does your personal expectations begin and end in relation to your spiritual traditions?
My spiritual traditions demand a certain level of bodily purity - as such, I generally ask not to be touched by strangers and a minimal level of body contact with friends. I also ask that my personal things are left untouched. I would consider it rude to touch the things in my house without permission as well, but this is largely cultural I think, and I think is mostly shared with Anglos.
I'm also expected to respect the traditions of other people. On my trip to Pine Ridge Reservation, South Dakota, I took no issue with being saged in order to be acceptable spiritually for the group I was with.
Quote: When you are extended hospitality, what does your tradition mandate for you and is it different than when you extend it to others?
I'm expected to take it graciously. If someone puts food in front of me, I eat it. When I don't agree with their ideas, I'm expected to turn the other cheek initially. I'm expected to "keep my hands to myself."
An interesting cultural meme (more?) endemic to Slovakia that my family retains, is that we refuse an offer at least thrice before accepting. It's rude to accept an offer of money or food etc the first or second time. Anglos though have a tendency to accept the first refusal as a refusal, which can be a little disconcerting for me.
The rules are less rigid when I extend hospitality for how the exchange should happen than when I'm on the receiving end. It mostly boils down to how comfortable I can make someone. The key is to be upfront, gracious, and polite.
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 8:56 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:34 am
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So nothing major then. Thank you.
Mine's less religious and more of a cultural good manners type of thing ("Southern Hospitality" if you will).
If it's a stranger, an offer inside and to sit, but probably just the living room. Offer of a drink is pretty common too. But they most likely won't see the rest of the house, but for a few exceptions.
First time over friends get good treatment. Offer to see the whole house, offers of drinks, food, snack... whatever, depending on how long they are staying. Older friends who have been over before are welcome to help themselves in the kitchen, tv, spend the night, and so on.
Enemies... well, they aren't really invited, nor particularly welcome, but they're treated nicely until they give a reason who be asked to leave.
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:01 pm
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