Telling Your Loved Ones

[iSight__x]

Hello! My name is Beefsteak and just recently about a month ago, I dedicated myself to Wicca and Paganism. After battling this for a month, I finally told my mom that I am a Wiccan. At first she started telling me that it was wrong because witches worship Satan and all of that (she's Christian obviously) I assured her by telling her that not all witches are evil and purposely try to hurt others. This conversation continued for well over an hour. She kind of accepted it, but she kept insisting that I study more about Christianity and re-consider Wicca "before it's too late".

Have any of you guys experienced something like this? How did you tell your family and loved ones that your a Pagan/Wiccan? Any tips on how to tell the rest of my family? I'm kind of scared as to how they will react.  

[TeaDidikai]

hOLy BEeFStEAk NUgGEtS

Hello! My name is Beefsteak and just recently about a month ago, I dedicated myself to Wicca and Paganism.

Which tradition are you an initiate of? Why are you breaking the Ardanes? You swore an oath to be a Hidden Child of the Goddess for ******** sake!?

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After battling this for a month, I finally told my mom that I am a Wiccan. At first she started telling me that it was wrong because witches worship Satan and all of that (she's Christian obviously) I assured her by telling her that not all witches are evil and purposely try to hurt others. This conversation continued for well over an hour. She kind of accepted it, but she kept insisting that I study more about Christianity and re-consider Wicca "before it's too late".

I think she's right. You seem to have been oathed to YHVH. Why are you willingly becoming an oathbreaker?

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Have any of you guys experienced something like this?

No. I take my honor too seriously to have something like that happen.

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How did you tell your family and loved ones that your a Pagan/Wiccan?

I'm neither- so it's really a non-issue.

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Any tips on how to tell the rest of my family? I'm kind of scared as to how they will react.

Why is it any of their business? And why do you feel that you need to advertise your broken covenant?  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

hOLy BEeFStEAk NUgGEtS

Hello! My name is Beefsteak and just recently about a month ago, I dedicated myself to Wicca

How do you dedicate yourself to deities whose names you don't know?

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and Paganism.

How do you dedicate yourself to an umbrella term?

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After battling this for a month, I finally told my mom that I am a Wiccan. At first she started telling me that it was wrong because witches worship Satan and all of that (she's Christian obviously) I assured her by telling her that not all witches are evil and purposely try to hurt others. This conversation continued for well over an hour. She kind of accepted it, but she kept insisting that I study more about Christianity and re-consider Wicca "before it's too late".

Why is she "obviously a Christian"? As if adhering to misinformed stereotypes were somehow limited to Christians!
Your mother is right to worry. Hearing that her underage child has somehow become crossed up in a fertility-based witchcult! Not exactly what parents hope to hear.
Have you done more research into Christianity at all?

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Have any of you guys experienced something like this?

Nope.
I'm of age and not under my mother's roof and I don't see my choice of faith being any of her business at this point.
My fiance knows, but doesn't really care.

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How did you tell your family and loved ones that your a Pagan/Wiccan?

Short bursts of conversation really. My fiance has a sort of general, vague idea of the gods I believe in and what I do, but he hasn't shown interest in learning more so I don't press the issue.

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Any tips on how to tell the rest of my family? I'm kind of scared as to how they will react.

Why do you feel the need to tell the rest of your family if they are not sharing a roof with you?  

[TeaDidikai]

Violet Song jat Shariff

Your mother is right to worry. Hearing that her underage child has somehow become crossed up in a fertility-based witchcult! Not exactly what parents hope to hear.

One that involves sexual initiation rites no less.  

[Maze]

I love threads like this.

Seriously for a moment, though, I imagine that, were I to tell them that I believe the moon is my rabbit, they'd likely shake their heads and wait for me to change my mind.

But not without informing me how wrong I am in the meantime, of course.

They're quite lovely, really, but it gets kind of bothersome when each and every member of my large family insists on talking to me about their current views of what they feel are my latest misconceptions.

But that's alright. More thoughts equals more input, means more information to sift through for good data.

Although I'd wish there were some more variety to their lecturing.. XD  

[maenad nuri]

I haven't actually told my family. My friends, my husband of course --- but my family, they somehow came out with the impression that I'm an athiest. One brother, I am fairly certain knows I'm pagan (his girlfriend, one of my best friends, confirmed this) but we've never spoken about it.

I'm an adult. I don't need their permission, and when I was a kid, I was too scared to say anything after I expressed an opinion on reincarnation.

It's not something I'm really happy with myself with, but its the way it stands right now. Although, if they haven't noticed the altars I've kept since I was 14, they are just silly.  

[Satrevi]

TeaDidikai

hOLy BEeFStEAk NUgGEtS

Hello! My name is Beefsteak and just recently about a month ago, I dedicated myself to Wicca and Paganism.

Which tradition are you an initiate of? Why are you breaking the Ardanes? You swore an oath to be a Hidden Child of the Goddess for ******** sake!?

Quote:

After battling this for a month, I finally told my mom that I am a Wiccan. At first she started telling me that it was wrong because witches worship Satan and all of that (she's Christian obviously) I assured her by telling her that not all witches are evil and purposely try to hurt others. This conversation continued for well over an hour. She kind of accepted it, but she kept insisting that I study more about Christianity and re-consider Wicca "before it's too late".

I think she's right. You seem to have been oathed to YHVH. Why are you willingly becoming an oathbreaker?

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Have any of you guys experienced something like this?

No. I take my honor too seriously to have something like that happen.

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How did you tell your family and loved ones that your a Pagan/Wiccan?

I'm neither- so it's really a non-issue.

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Any tips on how to tell the rest of my family? I'm kind of scared as to how they will react.

Why is it any of their business? And why do you feel that you need to advertise your broken covenant?

hold on, just because it's his parents religion doesnt mean he's oathbound. its not about what you believe its about going where you feel is right. if he finds more help for his path in Wicca isnt that good enough? I think it is.  

[TeaDidikai]

Areleklo

hold on, just because it's his parents religion doesnt mean he's oathbound.

In the case of YHVH-based religions, you're wrong. See, YHVH has this habit of creating Generational Curses.

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its not about what you believe its about going where you feel is right.

Some people thought murdering strangers and looting their body is "right" in service to their goddess.

Some people feel that raping little kids and mutilating their genitalia is the "right thing for a Wiccan to do".

Some people feel that coercing children into producing child porn for the founder of the tradition's entertainment and sexual gratification is "right".

You'll forgive me, but "it feels right" has never been a good enough excuse to do something immoral in my book. This includes oathbreaking and lying.

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if he finds more help for his path in Wicca isnt that good enough? I think it is.

I think if you want to equivocate doing what feels good with what is right, you need a serious ethics lesson.  

[Gho the Girl]

Whoah, s**t. I was raised Christian.
Is there anything I can do about being oathbound?  

[TeaDidikai]

Gho the Girl

Whoah, s**t. I was raised Christian.
Is there anything I can do about being oathbound?

Depends. Which tradition, what rites did you participate in etc?  

[Gho the Girl]

TeaDidikai

Gho the Girl

Whoah, s**t. I was raised Christian.
Is there anything I can do about being oathbound?

Depends. Which tradition, what rites did you participate in etc?

Raised Methodist/Baptist, was Baptised through immersion, so according to the church it was done in I'm a Baptist. Communion, that happened a lot, also I think I was Christened.  

[Satrevi]

TeaDidikai

Areleklo

hold on, just because it's his parents religion doesnt mean he's oathbound.

In the case of YHVH-based religions, you're wrong. See, YHVH has this habit of creating Generational Curses.

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its not about what you believe its about going where you feel is right.

Some people thought murdering strangers and looting their body is "right" in service to their goddess.

Some people feel that raping little kids and mutilating their genitalia is the "right thing for a Wiccan to do".

Some people feel that coercing children into producing child porn for the founder of the tradition's entertainment and sexual gratification is "right".

You'll forgive me, but "it feels right" has never been a good enough excuse to do something immoral in my book. This includes oathbreaking and lying.

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if he finds more help for his path in Wicca isnt that good enough? I think it is.

I think if you want to equivocate doing what feels good with what is right, you need a serious ethics lesson.

You know, you should really stop putting things in that were never brought up in the first place. You do it again i'm just going to ignore you. I'm being peaceful about this by being bluntly honest. So, knock it off.  

[TeaDidikai]

Areleklo

You know, you should really stop putting things in that were never brought up in the first place. You do it again i'm just going to ignore you. I'm being peaceful about this by being bluntly honest. So, knock it off.

Ignoring people because they disagree with you is rather foolish. Think if you had done that when the people who raised you had told you not to touch the hot stove.

If people fail to bring up an important part of a conversation, I have no qualm in doing it for them.  

[Taliah]

Areleklo, to be perfectly honest, I thought the exact same way when I first talked to Ms. Tea.

But the more I spoke to her, the more I realized that "all religions aren't to be judged" or "do anything that works for you" are FAR too big of blanket statements. Under those statements, what Ms. Tea has so generously listed for you, ARE possible, and ARE performed. Children under Frostian "wica" have been molested by their very parents, under the belief they were doing the right thing.

I don't know about you, but molesting a child is one of the most disgusting things a person can do to someone.

The thing is, I retracted what I said, because after she informed me, I realized that what I said just wasn't true anymore. Frostian "wica" is NOT something I would want to protect by my "their beliefs are what's good for them spiritually" statement. You have to become more critical and realize not everyone is going to be pure about religion, some people out there just take advantage of your blind faith.

Simply ignoring what she said does nothing but show us that you're plugging your ears and going "Lalalala" to new information and not caring to take your beliefs under the microscope repeatedly to re-examine it.  

[Recursive Paradox]

hOLy BEeFStEAk NUgGEtS

Hello! My name is Beefsteak and just recently about a month ago, I dedicated myself to Wicca and Paganism. After battling this for a month, I finally told my mom that I am a Wiccan. At first she started telling me that it was wrong because witches worship Satan and all of that (she's Christian obviously) I assured her by telling her that not all witches are evil and purposely try to hurt others. This conversation continued for well over an hour. She kind of accepted it, but she kept insisting that I study more about Christianity and re-consider Wicca "before it's too late".

I'm not going to be redundant and discuss how unlikely it is that you are actually of Wicca due to initiation and all that jazz. But as much as your mother is spouting ignorance here, she is right on one important point:

Don't leave a religion until you understand it really really well. Same with entering a religion. I gave myself a full four years of exploration, research and interpretation of the material Catholicism and Christianity had to offer me before I left Christianity entirely.

If you leave this religion for the wrong reasons or because of misconceptions, you're going to feel really silly and may have wasted a good portion of your time exploring something else when you were already set.

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Have any of you guys experienced something like this? How did you tell your family and loved ones that your a Pagan/Wiccan? Any tips on how to tell the rest of my family? I'm kind of scared as to how they will react.

Please don't write the words, "Pagan/Wiccan" as though they are synonyms. For one, it is inaccurate as pagan is an umbrella term of non Christian religions (or non big 5 religions) whereas Wicca is a specific religion within the pagan category.

And for another it is deeply insulting to have my own faith equated with another (I assume radically) different faith simply due to your own ignorance. So please don't do that.

Beyond the issue of wording however I do have experiences you can use, as my family is predominantly Catholic.

When you discuss it with your family, be lightly technical. Describe the workings of your religion. Point out that you have researched this and you have come to find that this is the religion that you function the best within.

Reassure them that this will not impact how you see them or the time you spend with them. If they bring up issues that have traces of religious bigotry or such in them, then simply address them logically and politely. For instance, if they make the claim that your morality will be impacted, point out that other religious do have moral codes and that your moral code is perfectly compatible with Western/American Ethics.

I'm assuming off course that you will actually research your potential path (which is definitely not Wicca, despite your misconceptions) and Christianity. Please don't disappoint me.