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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:50 am
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My bf and I had a fight. I lost my temper with him and well, I think totally lost it. I think was feeling underappreciated for a long time and it just all boiled up inside me and exploded. He got really angry at me. It wasn't until I was crumpled sitting down at his door waiting for a taxi to go away that he seemed at all compassionate and understanding.
Yes I was yelling and screaming. He said I was being 'psycho'. No I don't feel good about that at all. I feel like s**t to be honest. I can't really explain my anger except to say I was in so much pain before and no matter what I did to try and communicate it to him, he didn't seem to understand. It's not as though I enjoy getting angry. It really makes me feel awful and guilty inside.
I talk to him a day or so later, and it's ok. but then the day after that, he sends me a text asking me to bring him alcohol. That just pushed my buttons again, so I didn't reply to it. and didn't talk to him for two days. but then when I start hurting and missing him again, and try to talk to him, he's still angry at me.
last night we talked online for a bit but then he went out. he wouldn't say what was going on before he left so i assumed he was going to help his sick relative and i stayed awake, waiting for him to return at least one of my calls or text messages.
2:30 am or closer to 3 he gets home and i finally find out i was worried for no reason, but being what i am, i can't sleep at all any more. he barely says anything to me online even though i tell him i've been thinking about things and have figured certain issues out a little better... he says 'maybe we can do something next week.' he says he's tired and medicated and needs is going to sleep. i try to call because he just suddenly leaves. he answers but hangs up right away. i end up sending a bunch of pointless text messages because i am so anxious, worked up, crying and basically at my wits end.
So I've been up all night. I kind of feel like I am losing my mind right now.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 8:58 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:36 pm
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 8:00 am
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 2:42 am
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