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Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:59 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:04 pm
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Ummm... this isn't much of a story (no offense). Let me explain. First of all, it is extremely short, a few sentences at most, and secondly, if you want to write a story, however short, always, ALWAYS use proper grammar. I put an emphasis on the always because a story without proper grammar is no story at all, especially when you can hardly tell when a sentence ends and another starts. Now, onto the good parts. You could make this a really good mystery/thriller if you add so many details that it makes you sick, so you can clearly paint a picture in the reader's mind. Even though this is a very short story, it could be good but you just leave too many loose strings. What did she look like? What did the boy look like? Where was her friend? What actions were taken after people noticed she had gone missing? Where was her body? What did the room look like? See, the list goes on and on, the major things you could fix are the grammar and tieing up loose ends. Other than that, this could have some potential.
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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 10:46 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:13 am
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:35 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 6:14 am
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:07 am
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Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:45 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:20 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:54 pm
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