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 Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:12 am
I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I've always felt kind of guilty/odd about dating someone older than myself. If it's five years or so, then I don't seem to have a problem, but maybe it's the fact I'm only twenty-two and still feel close enough to my teens that it's weird to be asked out by someone who is say thirty years old. So my question is: Am I the only one who feels like this? Is there a certain point in time where age just doesn't matter anymore? And if you do feel the same, how many years will you allow in the age gap between you and your partner?
I don't think that age gap is a bad thing because some people act and talk beyond their years; This was merely just a curiosity of mine.
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:10 am
My husband and myself are 3 years apart, he's the elder ^_^. But I have a good friend who is 23 now and her husband, I believe, is 34? I like him very much and they get along so well. he is older, but still silly/funloving and I don't notice the age differnce between them, and I don't think she does either. They actually started dating when she was 18, which was a big shock at the time. But now they have a house and jobs and it's not a big deal anymore. On the contrasting side though, I sometimes feel the 3 year age difference between myself and my husband and I often feel really young when I deal with him. So not sure - I think it is not so dependent upon age but the "inner age" of the person?.. ^_^
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:00 pm
Well, as long as you acknowledge the differences between you and are okay with not changing them, it's totally okay to be friends accross any ages. But if the differences make you feel like there is a permanent gap, that's a warning the relationship will be too unequal for a marriage. I'm talking about experience, achievement, respect, income, health problems, etc. Those are very individual, but tend to accumulate with age.
Also, social norms change with time, so what seems normal from your childhood might seem eccentric or even extreme to him (or visaversa). Morals, values, expectations of children, education, church-going. All these vary over the whole population, but do key on age to some extent.
My rule of thumb was that I'd date a man 10% younger to 20% older. But in retrospect, I see that the best matches were much closer.
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:29 pm
I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 28.
It seems kind of odd to me when I think about that I'm barely in my 20s and he's almost 30. But, to be honest, I'm the more mature one. We work out well enough.
When I was in high school, I always dated someone older, I was jail bait many times. Was it right? Depends. When it comes to younger people, I don't like the age difference. But when you're talking about consenting adults, I suppose it doesn't matter. I just think it's creepy when a 20 year old is with an 80 year old. Is that right? I don't think so. It depends on the people. My college roommate (1 cool was dating this guy (32) who was going through a divorce and had 2 young children. I thought that was really creepy....
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:03 pm
Most of the people I've slept with have been within 5-15 years of my age, I once had an affair with someone 19 years older than I was. It's pretty hard to relate to one another when the age difference is that great.
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Posted: Mon Nov 17, 2008 7:10 pm
I am 34 and my husband is 42. we have been together since I was 21 and he was 29. It has been odd at times as he looks older and I look younger, people have accused him of being my dad. rolleyes
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Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:13 pm
I don't mind at all. Actually the only two relationships that meant the most to me/lasted the longest were with people about 6-7 years my senior. I've always dealt with people more mature then those found at my age... so.. to me its normal. I feel weird when I deal with anyone romantically who is either younger or around my age. Usually those always end up a few months in before I call it quits and get bored.
I need someone who has more experience that will stimulate my mind among many things. lol. Else I get bored.
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Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:04 pm
Well, for starters, everyone has an age preference. I used to think just like you until I dated younger guys and hated it. Suddenly being asked out by older guys seemed to be a breath of fresh air. To answer your question though, it's totally normal. Don't be surprised if it changes though as what also tends to happen is that the older you get the less it matters.
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Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 3:41 pm
My boyfriend and I are eight years apart, he being the elder. We met when I was 21 and only looking for a casual relationship.
But gradually it turned into something more, and I can't say that I regret it at all.
I've dated younger guys, and guys around my age. I wouldn't trade for that again.
In a way, just the small difference in our ages kind of acts as a balancer.
As for whether anyone around us disapproves, well, my grandmom and grandpop were eight years apart when they married, and she was 19 at the time. Rest of the family kind of takes their cue from grandmom, so I don't catch any flack from that direction. My friends and cousins seem to think that eight years is kind of a stretch, though.
::shrug::
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Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 7:11 pm
I coudn't see dating anyone in their thirties.. I am 22
Well if i really liked them I would I guess.. but I try to stick with around my age, 19- 27
I won't go younger.... may go higher depending on the person..if they have a great personality and I like them then I would I believe.. but till that happens I think it would be weird. XD
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:54 am
bulmer24 I am 34 and my husband is 42. we have been together since I was 21 and he was 29. It has been odd at times as he looks older and I look younger, people have accused him of being my dad. rolleyes there is 5 years between my wife and I , I to was often mistacken for her dad. I have always looked older.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:16 pm
Door Au Revoir I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I've always felt kind of guilty/odd about dating someone older than myself. If it's five years or so, then I don't seem to have a problem, but maybe it's the fact I'm only twenty-two and still feel close enough to my teens that it's weird to be asked out by someone who is say thirty years old. So my question is: Am I the only one who feels like this? Is there a certain point in time where age just doesn't matter anymore? And if you do feel the same, how many years will you allow in the age gap between you and your partner? I don't think that age gap is a bad thing because some people act and talk beyond their years; This was merely just a curiosity of mine. I have not encountered anyone who felt the way you do. I can only say date someone who is respectful and makes you feel comfortable. I personally prefer older guys, though I have been asked out by men as young as 18 (way to fresh for me. I'm 25, but look young). I set my limit for someone 5 years older so that he would have some sense of maturity and still be able to connect with me on some level.
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Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:24 pm
My fiance and I are 4 years apart, which, for me at first seemed like a lot... but we're wonderfully happy together. Likewise, my father is 53 and married my stepmother who is 34. THAT was odd, having a stepmother who is 10 years older than me. They are perfect for each other (better than my mom was for him and she was a year younger than him). My friend's Dennis and Amy are 12 years apart and they mesh perfectly. It's all about compatibility and trust. Go with what feels right.
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Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:58 pm
im 25 and my fi is 30 so not too many years apart... my sister is 30 and her hubby just turned the big 4-0 ... come to think of it.... all the women in my family have older men... my aunts fi is in his mid 50s and shes i early 40s...my mom and dad are like 12 years apart...
i only "dated" like 2 guys in high school untill my senior year when i met my fi ( i was 18 already LOL chill ) been with him since... so i never really thought about the age thing before LOL
maybe its a "blodd line" thing... or something in the water??
lol all the ladies in my family have older men by atleast 5 years
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:06 pm
 I am 24 and I've always dated older. However, my best friend is 32 and she has always dated younger. My ex is 29 and he ended up being a very immature a*****e and yet the guy my best friend is dating now is 21 and he is highly mature. Its part of the reason why I believe age is nothing but a number as long as its following the lines of the law (i.e. if someone is 24 dating a teen younger than 18 yrs of age then there is a controversial issue there). "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."
~Anonymous[ No, you can't use my tribal images.
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