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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:08 pm
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plz comment on this part of a story i am working on, the story is called Memoirs:
Just over the hill in the next clearing Lord General Jack Grundy was chatting and joking with the men when he heard something like shouting from the next clearing. He walked to the top of the hill and saw a sea of red, he saw demons, traitors and most importantly he saw astartes fighting, he saw a dust trail in the distance so he looked through his magnoculars and saw rhinos, razorbacks and escorting vehicles full of civilians, and they were defending the pass to allow the civilians to escape. He saw a few rocks on the ground so he picked them up and decided to have some fun, he threw one hitting a lesser demon on the head but it decided to hit another one instead of looking behind it, it began to fight with the other one, so he picked up his vox, “Cadians make ready for some action”, he heard the engines starting up, he looked back to see they were starting to make their way up when he stopped them with a hand signal, he threw the other stone which hit both the lesser demons head and they looked back, he waved and ran back over the hill when they gave chase. He ran to his men, “MAKE READY”, they came over the hill, “FIRE”, and streaks of las-shots went across the sky into the lesser demons. He walked to the top of the hill and watched again, there was shouting coming from the chaos army, they were shouting too much that they didn’t even hear the armour engines on top of the hill, he started to walk down the hill, stopped drawn out his sword and shouts “FOR THE EMPEROR”, all the men shouted the same and they charged down the hill shouting at the hip hitting traitor marines head on, sentinels strolling into battle while firing their weapons, thousands of las-weapons fired into the mass. The enemy now had two fights to deal with, the imperial guard and the loyal dogs, their forces in the rear turned to get las beams in their faces and they shot back taking down dozens of guardsmen, plasma shots from both sides were exchanged . Imperial tanks were at the top of the hill firing into the mass of traitors, their heavy bolters shells chewing up bodies, a rogue shot hit the sergeant next to the general and with one smooth motion he placed his bolter gun into his holster and grabbed the other sword, he was running next to the thirteenth squad who were firing their plasma shots, grenades and their multi-melters into the enemy
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:23 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:43 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:00 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:20 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:04 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:08 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:28 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:34 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:22 am
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:48 am
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:31 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:19 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:25 pm
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