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 Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:30 am
I'm having a very...interesting night to put it lightly, considering it's 5:13am and I'm still awake, but I guess it all started at one point. When I got out of work at 10:30pm I was walking home when I took a glance at the sky and saw a full moon. It just captivated me...the clouds were rolling by so quickly in the wind, thin wispy clouds that barely shaded its radiance. There were more clouds, much farther up then these that almost seemed to be sitting just behind the moon.
After that I got home and ate, did a few things without much real enjoyment then went to take my dog for a walk and that's when I noticed something. I found myself staring at the moon, I could barely keep my eyes off of it. I felt so clear, empty of all the stress and weight on my shoulders. When I looked away I just felt as if I was downcast, when I got home from the walk it didn't really get much better. I've had tons of free time tonight to de-stress, but I've been on edge. I'm extremely irritable, and it feels like being inside is making me extremely uneasy. I've got this horrible knot in my stomach, a couple of things have happened to make me feel this way, an argument and awkward situation, but it shouldn't be this bad. I sat at my computer after these were over and tried to find something to occupy myself, but I couldn't.
I finally got into bed and tried reading, I tried listening to music but I just felt so damn restless. I got up and paced around my house for a while trying to find out what was bothering me so badly, but then I looked out the window and the moon was hanging just in view over the trees. I stared at it...and stared and felt that knot just disappear. I just want to move, get out and go stare at the moon...follow it into the night and just keep walking until it's gone. I finally shook myself out of it and went to my room, and here I am typing this all up. I can't explain it, I don't know what's wrong with me but this isn't the first time I've had feelings like this before. Not just about the moon but other things in nature that just draw me....I don't know what I'd find if I gave into these urges to just go to wherever it would take me, and it scares me in a way and in another it doesn't. Even now I want to just go, I'm practically shaking with this urgency I feel. I want to go before the moon disappears...but I can't bring myself to do it.
Honestly...I'm not even really sure what I expect by typing this here, I don't expect answers. I guess I just needed a place to put this all down...
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:29 am
How bout you get an answer anyway?
I've been like that a lot recently. I never used to care for nature or the outdoors, but that's changed a lot in the past few months. I used to love the city and the tall buildings and the hustle and bustle of day and nightlife there. That used to be my thing, and I still do like it.
The thing is, all of a sudden it was like I was 'yanked' over to the natural side of things. My mom was always like that and I resented it to begin with so I never wanted anything to do with it. I never appreciated a sunset or the starlight or wildlife or anything like that, but now it's quite the opposite. It's like the wild is calling me, or something like that. Expecially the moon.
I identify with the moon - I always have. There's just been something about it that I liked. It used to just be pretty up in the sky, but more recently, it's been a source of serenity in my overly hectic world. I've spent a few nights out in the moonlight for its entirety and come home covered in the morning dew in the first light to sleep soundly.
The moon has always had an effect on many things. The term lunatic is taken from luna, meaning moon. It has been said to cause strange behaviors in all manner of creatures. I think it's just a wake-up call, kind of like how coffee gets you to go to work. This one is trying to get you back to your roots and to get you to calm down.
You might just try sitting out in the moonlight one night. I would personally reccomend some sort of meditation as you do so. It may just be what the doctor soul ordered.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 8:49 am
I am not religious or anything like that, but the full moon has always captivated me...I want to stretch toward it, and it feels...restful, and fulfilling. I also feel that way when surrounded by nature...in particular the stands of giant redwoods that grow in the mountains near me. You haven't felt strangely insignificant, in a good way, until you've stood next to a tree bigger around than my living room, that's been alive for 2000 years.
I'm not sure how helpful a reply that was, or even if it was coherent...but I just wanted to let you know that I totally get what you're talking about.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:37 am
last night... I didn't get to sleep until 6:00 am. I only just woke up. And that happens to me all the time, ever since I was little I've felt the moons call. It's why I turned Pagan, I feel completely free under the moons light.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:41 am
I was up late too but all I did was eat a pizza and drink 2 liters of soda.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:14 am
I love the moon. Sometimes I feel like I can just reach out and touch it
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:38 am
I can relate to that on so many levels. I've always been more of a night person. Something about the dark used to scare the begeezes outta me, but more reacently the night and in particular the moon has become a source of serenity and reflection in my life. I've even been known on occasion to howl at the moon. Something primitive just builds up inside me and I HAVE to do it. I've done it alone in my car, with friends, and even at work once... And whenever I do, I feel like walking off into the night and dissappearing into nature for a few weeks... I haven't yet... so far the call of technology is stronger than the call of Nature... but I wouldn't put it past me to do it sometime in the future... Camping... I need to go camping... Anyways, just to let you know you're not the only one who's affected in that way.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:44 am
I’ve felt as if the moon” calls” me in anyway . But I sometimes just go out into the garden or look out my window and just stare at the moon it relaxes me I guess. More so around this time but might be, because my favourite time of the year is Autumn/Winter.
I’ll agree with Exor Omega try some mediation it might work.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:56 am
Well I didn't really expect these kinds of responses, I know I'm not the only one at least...I mean I've always had this joy for nature, and it's always been a sources of serenity for me whenever I've been camping. I just draw from it all around me...it's like cleansing my entire body. Still, it doesn't quite feel enough, even when I'm camping I feel too close to technology and society for me to really be where I want with nature. I know next time, I'm going to try to let go and end up where my instincts are telling me to be. Just to see what I've been trying to tell myself all this time.
On another note, I haven't slept yet. Still too restless, but at least the knot in my stomach isn't as bad as before.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:55 am
I've seen the moon in the fall...hince the harvest moon and blood red color.....it's pretty darn cool....Hoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllll.....must be the woof in me. He he cool
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:00 am
 Maybe you were pagan in a past life?
wink
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