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 Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:27 am
I'm having a very...interesting night to put it lightly, considering it's 5:13am and I'm still awake, but I guess it all started at one point. When I got out of work at 10:30pm I was walking home when I took a glance at the sky and saw a full moon. It just captivated me...the clouds were rolling by so quickly in the wind, thin wispy clouds that barely shaded its radiance. There were more clouds, much farther up then these that almost seemed to be sitting just behind the moon.
After that I got home and ate, did a few things without much real enjoyment then went to take my dog for a walk and that's when I noticed something. I found myself staring at the moon, I could barely keep my eyes off of it. I felt so clear, empty of all the stress and weight on my shoulders. When I looked away I just felt as if I was downcast, when I got home from the walk it didn't really get much better. I've had tons of free time tonight to de-stress, but I've been on edge. I'm extremely irritable, and it feels like being inside is making me extremely uneasy. I've got this horrible knot in my stomach, a couple of things have happened to make me feel this way, an argument and awkward situation, but it shouldn't be this bad. I sat at my computer after these were over and tried to find something to occupy myself, but I couldn't.
I finally got into bed and tried reading, I tried listening to music but I just felt so damn restless. I got up and paced around my house for a while trying to find out what was bothering me so badly, but then I looked out the window and the moon was hanging just in view over the trees. I stared at it...and stared and felt that knot just disappear. I just want to move, get out and go stare at the moon...follow it into the night and just keep walking until it's gone. I finally shook myself out of it and went to my room, and here I am typing this all up. I can't explain it, I don't know what's wrong with me but this isn't the first time I've had feelings like this before. Not just about the moon but other things in nature that just draw me....I don't know what I'd find if I gave into these urges to just go to wherever it would take me, and it scares me in a way and in another it doesn't. Even now I want to just go, I'm practically shaking with this urgency I feel. I want to go before the moon disappears...but I can't bring myself to do it.
Honestly...I'm not even really sure what I expect by typing this here, I don't expect answers. I guess I just needed a place to put this all down...
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:35 am
I don't normally encourage late night walks because I've seen some bad things happen, but if you live in a safe neighborhood, follow your urge sometime. If you don't, you're going to be asking yourself the rest of your life "What did I miss out on?" and "Was it worth missing out on?". Either way, do what you feel is right. Life is too short not to take risks and follow these urges. Just be safe doing it.
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 9:33 am
get that way with some cloud formations. i've learned to control it somewhat, though, since i usually see them when i'm driving. not a good thing to stare at clouds intensely while driving a car.
if it relaxes you that's good, i would use it as a stress reliever. better that than alcohol dependency or something.
that, or you're a warewolf. ;]
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:42 pm
The light from a bright full moon can be hypnotizing, and I'm not even kidding about that. If you stare right at a full moon for a while, it will put you into a light trance and you'll lose track of time.
Sometimes it's good, other times it's a little bit disconcerting. neutral
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High-functioning Cutesmasher
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Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:07 pm
The full moon holds sway over many people in such a way. It sort of ties into pagan worshipping. I feel much the same way. When the full moon is so bright you can see clearly- it's like an empowerment to humans and urges a desire to go outside into a territory we usually have no part in (the night). I was captivated by it last night too. Went out at about 3:30 and walked the pasture with my horses and dogs. It almost felt like a bonding experiance with them.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:12 pm
i had something very similar happen the other day , but i'm pretty sure i was having a nervous breakdown before that happend , so in my case, i'm pretty sure it's just insanity....
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:11 pm
You said that it's happened about things other than the moon? Well, aside from a joke about being a werewolf / moon-crazy (old term, fallen out of usage, a shame) my non-jocular comment is: are you an artist? Or maybe you should be. I've never been published, but I love writing. When I get into the groove, I feel like I can't stop and that I shouldn't stop ... that if it just keeps going on forever everything will be fine. Maybe have a friend with you and see what happens, as long as you don't do something illegal, you may find yourself being more wholly yourself and a greater amount of inner peace).
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Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:00 pm
I love those hunters moons. Every time i see them I can't stop staring. But dont forget. The moon does in fact assist the tides. So the comfort feeling can be completely understandable.
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Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 8:00 pm
Sounds like the basis of some primitive religion. I say the moon became your focus for some much needed meditation! Physically pursuing it would definitely be unwise, since you CAN'T reach it, and might well end up in a bad place. However, a soul staggering under downers deserves some time out in trance/meditation! Set a 1-hour time, and let your soul walk that silvery road toward peace.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:19 pm
What's so terrible about de-stressing by looking at the moon? Next time, pull up a comfy chair so you can watch it out the window and let the moonlight wash away the stress. If you're old enough bring a glass of wine with you and spend a relaxing evening moon watching.
I like listening to music when I'm about to go crazy. Other's probably have other things they like to do when wound up. Why add more stress to your day? Enjoy yourself. It's better than flopping in front of the TV to watch some assinine sitcom.
Now that I've put this down, I think I'll do that on the next full moon. Thanks for the idea!
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:07 pm
Slightly off-topic, but did anyone else notice a tremendous amount of road-kill right after the full moon? It's seems there's dead critters everywhere.
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:05 pm
I get that way too some times. It mostly happens at night, not really having anything to do with the moon though. I just start to feel like I need to go OUT. Not to any place in particular, I just feel like I need to be away so I can wander around a bit. Maybe because it's peaceful? and quiet? ... it's peaceful and quiet inside though = so Yeah .. I don't know. Mostly, i just start pacing around my room cause i realize I can't actually leave cause mom's got my car blocked in.... biggrin They have a name for people like us......... WEIRDOS. I'm thinkin next time, we should just go outside. You follow the moon... I steal my mom's car, and we'll report back here about what happened. lol blaugh
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 3:45 pm
charamath Slightly off-topic, but did anyone else notice a tremendous amount of road-kill right after the full moon? It's seems there's dead critters everywhere. I didn't notice it the morning of the after the full moon, but I did notice that on my way to classes the morning of the twenty-eigth if it counts for anything. And I love the full moon by the way....The night it self draws me out..(has always been a creature of the night for some reason)
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Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 9:54 am
charamath Slightly off-topic, but did anyone else notice a tremendous amount of road-kill right after the full moon? It's seems there's dead critters everywhere. Maybe they were staring at the moon and didn't see it coming xp
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Dangerous Conversationalist
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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:05 pm
Luna - The moon
Lunatics - Those who follow the moon
Lunacy - An obsession with the moon
See you are in great company, all jokes aside. There is an obvious need in you to follow the Lunatic course, so do so safely and conscientiously. There is no problem chasing the moon if you watch where you are going on the earth. Perhaps she will lead you to a predestined place, or perhaps you will simply find a special space, when nature calls us, we must heed her. Fear not and join with the masses of Paganic, naturalistic observers before you who have followed their spirits and soared in to the embrace of the sister to earth.
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