Musician Sex Jokes!

[Vivacious Confetti]

Musician sex jokes! We all know you want to say them, so spit them out here!
I play sax and I LOVE to hear ones, especially so I can use them on my boyfriend who also plays sax haha! whee  

[Lilythesftbllwarrior]

blow my horn babyyy
heart clarinet-its a long penus-marching band lolz good times...good times  

[Haruhi Fujioka_140]

a trombone can do it in seven positions  

[cheriko-chan]

Percussion: We don't blow, we bang.  

[Electric Snowball]

For sax:

practice safe sax  

[adarksagea]

"I remember this one time at band camp..."

complete the quote yourself. domokun  

[Archangel of Musik]

Drummers are known for having fast hands  

[Dojigomiru]

god we cant go a jazz band class without aleast 1sex related joke

brass: We know how to blow
Woodwinds: well they do have Wood in there mouth
the list goes on  

[DeviantHarlequin]

• • •

I'm a guy and I play Piccolo.

=]

I think that speaks for itself...

I'm straight though...

• • •

 

[Vivitas]

I love the trombone one. X3

Our entire brass section is christian, so anytime a sex joke is made they either can't stop laughing (This is if a christian makes the joke) or give you a bad look and say that's stupid (This is if a non-christian makes the joke).

But my personal favorite is...

"We know how to use these lips and tongue." X3  

[Ahmose313]

Band members are dirty...
they blow brass and suck wood all day. They're always talking about how good they are with their fingering. And some can double, or even triple tongue, and don't get me started on flutter tongueing. Not to mention, all this talk about sax practice and trom-boners. And they say, the people with the biggest "instruments" come out of their closet every day, with their horn polished....perverts.  

[lefeverbaby]

I read this one somewhere

A girl in the band gets set up on a few blind dates with fellow bandmates. First she goes on a date with a trumpet player. When she gets back, her friend asks how it goes. She replies "Well his lips were really tight, so the kissing wasn't that greaat. I dont think i like him to much" Then she gets set up with a tuba player. When she returns, the friend asks how it went. She replies "His mouth was very wide open and totally slobbery. I dont think I like him" So she goes on a final date with a French horn player. When she returns, once again, the friend asks how it went. SHe replied "well the kissing was ok, but i really loved the way he held me"

XD LOL  

[KirstenTheDestroyer]

Our band has:
1.] Skydiving = sex
2.] Socializing (especially with animal crackers) = sex.
xD

 

[mr-miserable]

clarinets: if you don;t like the taste of wood you shouldn;t blow


i don;t suck i blow  

[Sonic_Operator]

hah..Well...I'm first chair trombone, the other 3 in my band suck...So...I say on a regular basis..

"" Im first trombone because I have mad tonging skills...These other boners cant even blow with the finesse(sp?) I have... ""

and laughter ensues.. =P even if it is lame