[SATIRE] 10 reasons why GAY MARRIAGE is wrong!

[Lenre Li]

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong!

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8 ) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

11. Gay marriage is a sin according to the Bible, as well as shrimp, which as Americans living under a theocracy we should strictly follow. That is why there are no Long John Silver's or Red Lobsters in America.

And no, I did not make this, but it's soo true! xd

Even though I'm not American, it's still tragically true... :3


And [here] is an open letter to a Doctor who said homosexuality is an abomination, as written in the bible.  

[SilverMaple]

I want to slap people with number 7 across their faces! scream  

[Lenre Li]

9 and 11 amuse me muchly. xd 9 'cuz I was raised by my mum, and 11... because it's hilarious! REAL AMERICANS MUST NOT EAT LOBSTER!!! scream

... Hahah, and I'm not American, so I can eat lobster! HAH! Take that!!! xd  

[Prince of Oath]

I couldn't help it. I giggled. ******** hilarious y/n?  

[protecterofelements]

what a load of BS stare i'm so wanting to kick someone's a$$ scream  

[flora14]

That's hilarious, where did you find it?  

[retice]

Number 5 killed me. Thank you for sharing XD  

[yuki~chan3]

I'm an american, so I know that it's all nothing but crap......BUT IT'S SO, FREAKIN' HALARIOUS...even my mom laughed when she read it!!!  

[The Lady Bard]

lol~ I've seen this before. xD Cracks me up.

I think my mom (who is happily married to my dad) sent it to me. xD Either that, or my bestest friend (who is a gay man and super awesome) sent it. I don't remember xD  

[User_2629207]

Let's make this Christmas...

Mweh heh. That made me giggle. :3

...a real scream~

 

[Lenre Li]

flora14

That's hilarious, where did you find it?

xd I found it in YamiKreuz's guild... yes, yes... sweatdrop But I had to post it here, and I'm glad you all loved it!! mrgreen  

[Dracavia]

xd

I love lists like this. They point out how obviously illogical and unfounded most people's claims against gay marriage are, while still staying light and humorous.  

[Rock Paper Tofu]

You said there's 10 reasons,
there's eleven.
Hi...

 

[Lenre Li]

*shrugs* Satrical humour, gotta love it.  

[sjdfnkwnf]

There's a while since I've seen this! lol And as always, I laugh!