"Give everyone a chance..."

[Alice_K8]

I find that society puts a lot of pressure on us all to value other humans, especially if we don't know them: We are not supposed to judge people before we know them, and we certainly should "give everyone a chance".

But I am of the opinion that we cannot help but judge others. And no one is capable of waiting until they know someone to judge them. For example, if I see an overweight person on the street,I automatically judge them to be lazy and irresponsible for letting their body deteriorate so far. Society tells me this is wrong, BUT, I am not misjudging them. I am making a judgement based on every peice of information I know about them, knowing that I do not all the facts. But the truth is that you can never know all the facts about anyone, no matter how well you know them. So there is really no difference between me saying these three things:

"based on all I know about that person on the street, she is lazy and irresponsible"

"based on all that I know about my Boyfriend, he is the most amazing person I've ever met"

"based on everything I know about that girl who was in my class for 12 years, she is a ditz, a whore, and an idiot".

It shouldn't matter how long you've known someone, your judgements should never be set in stone. But why does it seem that I'm not allowed to judge at all?  

[Henneth Annun]

It's just generally considered wrong to make assumptions about people when you don't know them. You could say that the fat person down the street is lazy and irrespinsible, but what if their genetics are working against them, and they would not have become that way if they could avoid it? What if the man can't pay for surgery/medication to help correct the problem, hm? You shouldn't make snap judgments, but hey, that's how we get around in the world. Wouldn't you rather have a taxi driver who looks trust worthy then one who doesn't? You may think that they both may be trustworthy, but the one who looks it has a higher chance of actually being trustworthy (in your eyes). You could be completely wrong of course, or very correct. Judging just helps us organize our world a little more and figure out what we're going to do, so there isn't so much uncertanty (although many times you can never prove your assumptions are correct, ever...)

You should give everyone a chance, but sometimes you should go with your gut.  

[Alice_K8]

I know it is generally considered wrong to judge people before you know them, but this is my dilema: What counts as knowing them? How many things do I have to know about a person, or how many hours do I have to spend with a person before I 'Know them'?

We can't even know anything about someone else for cetain because we can't get inside their head. And in fact, lots of people put up really thick facades. So even when you 'know someone', you still can't judge them properly.

What I am proposing is that we should judge everyone with equally uncertain assumptions, instead of submiting only those we think we know to our harsh human judgements.

Like I said, my judging scheme is this:
Based on everything I know about this person I assume (Whatever).

I don't think that is in the slightest bit wrong because with new information, my assumption will change, no matter who it is.  

[Henneth Annun]

AltruistAlice

I know it is generally considered wrong to judge people before you know them, but this is my dilema: What counts as knowing them? How many things do I have to know about a person, or how many hours do I have to spend with a person before I 'Know them'?

We can't even know anything about someone else for cetain because we can't get inside their head. And in fact, lots of people put up really thick facades. So even when you 'know someone', you still can't judge them properly.

What I am proposing is that we should judge everyone with equally uncertain assumptions, instead of submiting only those we think we know to our harsh human judgements.
Like I said, my judging scheme is this:
Based on everything I know about this person I assume (Whatever).

I don't think that is in the slightest bit wrong because with new information, my assumption will change, no matter who it is.

Why? Why do you feel the need to judge someone who doesn't immediatly affect you? If you know nothing about the person, save that he is obese, how can you judge? You don't know his eating habits or if any genetic conditions exist. You know close to nothing about this man, he doesn't affect you, why judge?  

[Rellik San]

To do whats being suggested is to defy our human nature, as I've said many a time before, humans are judgmental creatures and though we may try not to judge openly, subconsciously we'll always make unfair assumptions.  

[Henneth Annun]

Rellik San

To do whats being suggested is to defy our human nature, as I've said many a time before, humans are judgmental creatures and though we may try not to judge openly, subconsciously we'll always make unfair assumptions.

Yes, but you don't have to walk around doing it consciously all the time. If you have nothing better to do but judge every single person who comes by, if you have the time for that, you're life is kinda sad...

I'm just saying doing it all the time consiously about every person who passes by you on the way to work is unnessary. You probably already have some type of subconsious judgment about them and act according to that towards them anyway.  

[Rellik San]

XWraith_LordX

Rellik San

To do whats being suggested is to defy our human nature, as I've said many a time before, humans are judgmental creatures and though we may try not to judge openly, subconsciously we'll always make unfair assumptions.

Yes, but you don't have to walk around doing it consciously all the time. If you have nothing better to do but judge every single person who comes by, if you have the time for that, you're life is kinda sad...

I'm just saying doing it all the time consiously about every person who passes by you on the way to work is unnessary. You probably already have some type of subconsious judgment about them and act according to that towards them anyway.

Well I agree to form a conscious opinion about someone before getting to know them, is very wrong. But then again, it can also be a powerful defensive tool to aid in warding off those that might do you harm.  

[Henneth Annun]

Rellik San

XWraith_LordX

Rellik San

To do whats being suggested is to defy our human nature, as I've said many a time before, humans are judgmental creatures and though we may try not to judge openly, subconsciously we'll always make unfair assumptions.

Yes, but you don't have to walk around doing it consciously all the time. If you have nothing better to do but judge every single person who comes by, if you have the time for that, you're life is kinda sad...

I'm just saying doing it all the time consiously about every person who passes by you on the way to work is unnessary. You probably already have some type of subconsious judgment about them and act according to that towards them anyway.

Well I agree to form a conscious opinion about someone before getting to know them, is very wrong. But then again, it can also be a powerful defensive tool to aid in warding off those that might do you harm.

Very true...very true. pirate  

[2on]

I agree with quite a few peoples remarks posted, so sorry if I'm reiterating previous statements. This is my opinion obviously, and I welcome anyone who argues with it provided they have sensible arguments.

Judgments are human defense mechanisms, its primal.
We judge to first and foremost assess if another person is a risk to us bodily.

A fair amount of the judging process are therefore subconscious conclusions drawn by us, its faster and simpler that way without interference of pesky false morals or kindness.

Anyone who says they don't judge another person is quite probably lying or incorrect, unless their basic cognitive abilities are inept, and primal mind has yet to fully develop, rendering them mentally incompetent.

I'm not talking about tall poppy syndrome, obviously there are obvious and conscious judgments made by people in order increase their own status in the eyes of others, I'm talking about basic risk assessment.

It's human, natural to us and hardly anything to be ashamed of.  

[MysteryCross]

Again i respectfully reach out and say my own opinion..... I try my best not to judge n e one but those who apply;

*annoy'n the ******** hell outta me
*judge me b4 hand
*grudge me b/c of sumthin slipped outta content or so
*ppl i jus think make me sick [really preppy ppl XP ]

and so on from there..... I try not to be judgmental but I'm very opinionated and will not lie about that talk2hand  

[Simim]

Love saying this.

You know, making assumptions about people is exactly why everyone thinks all Goths are baby-eating crazy psycho killers waiting to pull a Columbine.

Many of you have been the victims of such assumptions. You know how it feels. That's why you... say what? Right. DON'T DO IT.

It's what asking questions is for. The taxi driver looks like Osama Bin Laden. Great. Now ask him about his rate, how much he knows, and so on and so forth. He might be a great guy, he might not. You really don't know until you ask.

Why does it matter if the fat kid down the street is fat and irresponsible if you're never going to talk to him? It's none of your concern.

If you're picking people for a baseball team, you have just as likely a chance to pick a strong-looking kid who kicks a** as you are picking a strong-looking kid who can kick a**, but would rather be lazy.

And skinny kids can and have outdone built muscle-filled kids.

You do not have to make assumptions about people to live. It provides shortcuts, but if you're willing to put forth the effort, then you can still get the same results.

Having said that, yes, I am a lazy b*****d and I do make assumptions all the time. mrgreen  

[nautilus pilot]

Admittedly, some people just click into stereotypes in my mind sometimes. But sometimes, the things people do to be 'cool' just annoy the crap out of me. This includes people who think vampires are so hardcore. But someone who doesn't click into place in this theoretical mental chart confuses me, so I find them more interesting.  

[The War on Indifference]

Snap judgements are (for lack of a better term coming to mind) natural, and it takes a good bit of practice to not make them.
I'm guilty of judging people before I know them, with the catch that I don't let my imagination get the best of it.

See a fat person? They're fat. Might legitimately have a medical condition/genetic disposition, might be lazy/no control and hide behind the former claim.
See someone talking in extreme ghetto-speak? They might be a poser swept up in popular culture, they may actually have come from a depressed area and been surrounded by that dialect before proper english, they may have lost a bet or are mocking someone.
I consider all the possibilities that come to mind, and eventually get distracted in my train of thought, leaving the jury out just as they were before I started thinking.
Judgement isn't bad, as long as you leave it very broad and 2-dimensional. When the time comes when you can form an unbiased opinion on someone, the pre-concieved notions aren't given another though.  

[NokomisSnape]

I have been judged harshly by others my entire life. I've been the "fat kid" since I was born to be honest....it's my genetics. On top of being naturally thick, I have medical conditions that make it worse. So now I'm thick and fat.

Oh yes...so much fun.

Because of this, I refuse to judge people unless I know them a bit. I also tend to shy away from everyone...just to protect myself from further insults or judgements from others.

I know, this is very weird and against human nature, but I have overcome that flaw in our nature and with time and effort, anyone can.  

[JTHMFrAeK-Ghoat]

I try not to judge people, but as you said, it's hard. Although, I try to be willing to accpt certain circumstances such as " Well, maybe she's on medication that makes he that overweight." Or " She may just have a really slow metabolism." I'm not saying this is something you should do, just telling you about my own little rituals.