Ishrie's mentee thread. (Update 1/22/08.)

[Ishrie]

Hullo, there, bright and glorious world that is this new guild! My name is Dani, and I'm forcing myself to be positive right now! 4laugh

Normally I don't like to repost images all over the place, but I have yet to receive critique on this now that I've gotten the anatomy down... well, at least, I think I have. I posted this in a guild I was in, but then I got hacked, and they won't let me back in! gonk That's not very nice of them. So, I can't check on that thread.

Anyway, here's my image:

old

Yeah, I know, he doesn't have a face yet. Or a hand. But he almost has one, and it's the thought that counts! I like to do that last. I dunno why. I also already know that the soon-to-be window is too thin for that perspective.. I've fixed it on paper, just haven't scanned it yet. Everything else is as-is.

Soo, please bite me, critique-fairy~!  

[Shadizilla]

Welcome~
HMM
Well, overall, the anatomy is okay. The shoulders are a bit thin and the limbs are a bit long -- at least, the arms are.
The legs seem a bit too small for the size of the body as well.

The main thing that bothers me is the torso. The pecs are a bit too large, ending too low. The back also seems awkward.

The next thing, is he doesn't really seem to fit into the environment. The pillows around him seem awkward, like he's not really on them?

Here, I've done a redline of it.
I tried to help with the perspective, but it's a bit off.
But you get the idea of it.



I hope this helps a bit? biggrin ;

 

[Ishrie]

Thank you soooo much! biggrin This really helps a lot.

You're right about the back and the legs... I had absolutely no idea what to do with them. After comparing your redline beside my drawing, I have no idea how I ever justified drawing the back like that. I think it had something to do with me trying to draw him hunched over, and then the angle... but it just looks so wrong now. O_o

And I didn't even see that about the arms! Thank you.

I'm very, very grateful to you for showing this to me this early on. I couldn't imagine having to revise it that much after it was inked and colored. xp

I'll post an update as soon as I get these things changed.  

[Shadizilla]

Oh, of course, hon~
That's what we're here for.

 

[Ishrie]

Alright, update from the last shot.

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I edited my guidecolors a bit, 'cause I didn't want to kill you darling peoples' eyes. I haven't actually started inking yet, I just went over the top layer in black so it would be easier to see.

C&C? heart I'll keep updating this as I go, but I'm a really slow artist.  

[Shadizilla]

Oh, hon, that's much better.

The only thing that I can see at the moment, is that the back of his head seems rather flat? Making it looking more round at the top, rather than leaning his head forward quiet as much -- not as much as an oval.

 

[Ishrie]

Dark_hedgehog

Oh, hon, that's much better.

The only thing that I can see at the moment, is that the back of his head seems rather flat? Making it looking more round at the top, rather than leaning his head forward quiet as much -- not as much as an oval.

Like this? 3nodding

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[Shadizilla]

It's hard to tell, because I can't compare it to the black line?
Unless the black line is the pick one here?

Either way--

 

[Ishrie]

Thank you for helping me again. 3nodding

Eheh, sorry. The pink line is the black line; I use tons of different colors when I'm sketching with my tablet so I don't get confused. I just went over all of 'em before I uploaded the fullbody update because all of those unsaturated colors against a dark background could kill.

The difference between the pink update and the black update is that the top of the head is rounder and wider.

And thank you for the red line, it helps a lot.  

[Ishrie]

old

Okay. So, I just barely started putting down my first layer of ink. And... I still need to draw / ink his other foot. Which, by the way, totally sucks. I'm horrible at feet. So, y'know, anything by way of helpful hints would be totally appreciated. <3  

[Shadizilla]

I actually think the feet are looking rather well. A lot of people make them *too* large or *too* small. I think these here are a good, realistic size for the feet.
The toes are a bit long, but seeing as it is a male, they do tend to have longer toes.


The main thing I have to say is really about the left arm/hand.
The elbow of the left arm ( Our left, not his) seems more like it's floating, than resting on his leg. Moving the elbow down just a tad will probably help that, and when coloring, the shading there will probably fix it as well.

The left shoulder could be scooted inward just a tad as well -- but that *might* just be me. I would wait for someone else to suggest anything with it or not.

The hand, it's mostly that you can't at all see the thumb. I'm unsure if you're just not done with the hand, or what. It actually takes some force to move your thumb inwards to where you don't see the joint-area of the thumb near the wrist. From the pose and everything, he looks a lot more like he's simply relaxing. Adding a bit of a curve outward near the wrist, then back in, should help it seem more realistic.

Something else, for when you are doing the other foot, is to probably make it look like it's..coming more towards us? It would be more resting on it's side, with the front towards us, it seems. Just from the outline, it looks as if he's pushing it so that it's straight with his leg -- while it's possible, if he's relaxing, he wouldn't be doing that.
Making the ankle line curve a bit more drastically to the left, and following it with the foot should help that.

The hair, just the left two bangs, they look...lumpy? It's because of the line right above them. It doesn't follow the flow with the bangs, and it distracts the eye a bit, and makes them stick out too much against the other hair, and the face. That one line, I think, it might look better erased.
But this could also be the style of his hair, as well. It depends on what you're going for with it.

If you don't get what I'm saying, though (I know I'm not the clearest) I'll surely redline for you, dear. I just haven't hooked anything up to the computer yet.
<3


It's looking real good so far, though. The lines are looking real smooth, and you're putting a lot of small little details into it from what I can see. This is going to turn out awesome in the end, because you're putting so much time and patients into it.

 

[Ishrie]

Sorry for disappearing like that, guys! My internet was dead for a while, and after it came back I was too busy trying to meet certain graduation requirements to arse around on Gaia.

I was arting during this time, though (even if it was only a little bit at a time), and I think I got everything you mentioned:

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I'm a total n00b at color theory and blending, so that's what I'm trying to focus on first. The light source is behind him; I'm wondering if I should add a moon out the window or something to have it make more sense, since, y'know, right now the source of light is the darkest point in the entire drawing. sweatdrop

I added in the tentative flat colors for the pillows so that I could remember my reflective light, but I'm worried that the added greens / blues from the pillows aren't distinct enough.

As always, thank you, Dark, for your wonderful critiques! I don't know what I'd do without you. biggrin  

[Call Me Stephanie]

I think a moon would add to the background. Right now it's kinda just there... adding a moon will add interesting lighting and as you said, make it make more sense. I know a great tutorial if you need help with it. ^_^  

[Errol McGillivray]

It's looking good so far. I do have two suggestions though. First, the stars. Stars are not that uniform. It looks like wallpaper.



This is something I can't suggest enough. Before you draw ANYTHING, look at a picture of what you're trying to draw. (Preferably in color if you're working in color). At least to list the characteristics. For the starry night sky, I'd say:
-very deep blue (not black)
-lighter blue patch
-staggered stars
-different brightnesses
-different sizes

This way, even without having the picture when you draw, you aren't going on what you think you know, but what's really there and that will be more convincing. Also, by taking notes, you'll remember and you've just learned something about making night skies that you won't forget.

The other thing is about proportions. Since you're getting along with the image, I'm not saying to change it now, but you will want to at least make note for next time. A person's hands are about the size of their face and our feet are about the length of our forearm (from wrist to inside bend at the elbow). Kind of measure parts against other parts visually so things aren't too small.


I also agree with Pirate on the moon. It will break up that large space and also give that lighting effect on your walls there a reason to happen.  

[Ishrie]

@Pirate: Thank you very much for replying! I'll definitely add it in now, since other people are noticing it, too.

And I would love to see it. surprised

@Errol: Oh, thank you! That's extremely helpful, I'll redo the sky right away. I did Google up a couple pictures before I started coloring it, but I never thought to actually take notes down. That's very clever. surprised

Also, I see what you mean about the feet, but the hands look like they're slightly larger than they should be, which was intentional.

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I was taught that with hands, one can always make them larger than they should be (because they'll still be believable up to a certain point), but they can never be smaller. I usually draw them larger because it makes it easier, but I'll change them along with the feet if you think it'll make it look better.

Thanks again, you guys!