[FINISHED] visits [ a'ye & s'del

[houllow]

He was still sick but not as badly as he'd been before. Time in the infirmary with healers fussing over him like a dragon at clutch had taken the edge off, so all he needed was to recover enough that they'd send him back to his own weyr. Oyath had rumbled her approval over the hope for that. A'ye was actually fairly pleased with how calm she was now that he was here, in recovery, and that she'd been mostly behaved and actually caring for herself.

As if I would let myself waste away like any of those lesser dragons. Had been her smart reply, complete with the sound of eating attached. Your Oyath is not weak enough to crumble without you. She'd sounded so smug, but A'ye knew when he got back there was be proverbial thread to pay. He would likely be spending the new few sevendays, if not the next few months, apologizing in every known way possible.

Rolling over in his bed, it was almost a welcome sight to see so many empty cots. The healers were exhausted, working so hard, and it made A'ye feel both thankful yet terrible for them having to take care. Perhaps when he was recovered enough he'd come back to help? With that thought in mind he smiled and settled in, wondering if they'd let him find a book to read, or maybe just help with something simple like rolling bandages? Surely he wasn't still contagious.

Masterharper

S'DEL CAN BE LiKE WHOA WHO IS THE BABE IN THAT BED and stroll over that would be fun

 

[Masterharper]

houllow

WHOA WHO IS THE BABE IN THAT BED! More like,
omg, I am sorry for a rough start, haha.

Life had been hectic since the plague gripped High Reaches Weyr, and they hadn't likely seen the last of it. Riders were catching it left and right, and it seemed like only a matter of hours before someone new collapsed in a fit of coughs and gaps. There was a somber air about the Weyr -- this wasn't just some cough or cold, this was a fatal virus moving through. Dragonriders were dying; weyrfolk were dying; children were dying. It was unpleasant, and Kindeth had mourned and keened the loss of his kin more this winter than S'del had thought possible. On top of the sickness, the Wings were fighting at lower numbers than desired, and casualties were higher over all as riders fought while ill, and Wingleaders and Wingseconds found themselves falling ill. Zheria herself had taken a hard hit, and D'mon was fighting for his life. Rumors were already swirling over who might catch Eveleth if D'mon succumbed, or which queen might rise next if Zheria did not make it.

It was a rough time, and S'del felt helpless.

The dark haired rider hated the feeling. It was exactly how he felt when Thread first returned, and he'd wanted nothing more than to go to Telgar and find those he'd loved. So, the man did what little he knew he could -- he volunteered his time in the infirmary during his rest-days and off hours. He rolled bandages, helped boil redwort, did whatever the healers on hand needed most. Sometimes, all he could do was sit there and hold someone's hand, or talk to the ill while they recuperated. Riders were often kept on bed rest and under supervision to make sure they didn't relapse; and even once returned to their weyrs, they weren't allowed to return immediately to fighting form.

So it was, the bronze rider signed in with the resident Master Healer, who let him know about A'ye and his condition. Word had it the green rider hadn't had much company since he'd come in, so S'del decided he'd check up on him. The name wasn't familiar, but then again, he still was learning the names and faces of everyone. He knew his fellow weyrlings whom he'd Impressed with, along with his fellow Wingriders in Trespassers Wing.... but there were many he hadn't gotten to know, and this green rider was one of them. Thankfully, he wasn't shy.

"Hey there," he greeted breezily as he approached the cot. S'del almost did a double take when he saw the green rider; pale skin, dark hair, and very memorable features. How had he missed noticing him before? Well, the Weyr was full of all variety of individuals -- he couldn't really be expected to have met all of them. At least now he could mark off meeting one new face, even if it was under unfortunate circumstances.

"How're you feeling today? Well enough for a little company?" He would back off if the other grumbled or grouched about it. Not everyone wanted to talk or be bothered, and not everyone had the energy to tolerate being talked at. Still, S'del hoped he wasn't feeling too grumpy. He offered the other a smile, waiting for confirmation whether or not he should stay.

 

[houllow]

Masterharper

HE'S BLUSHING HOW DARE YOU

The green rider had just decided to get up and move when someone approached him, and a look on confusion temporarily spread over his face. He thought he knew who this was, only because he made a point of it, but why was he here? He wasn't a healer, A'ye basically knew all of them (on an intimate level not of his choosing), so why was he here? Of course, the question was answered as soon as the man started to talk, and A'ye opened his mouth to speak.

Which meant, of course, he coughed instead. It wasn't exactly a violent cough but it was clear he hadn't spoken in a while - was he really that silent in the infirmary? Color instantly ran to his cheeks as he blushed, a hand still over his mouth as he tried to close off the last of the minor attack. "S...sorry about that." As he spoke, he moved that same hand to wipe away the tears that had sprung into the corners of his eye. A'ye hated being sick, he hated being weak, and he hated being a spectacle in front of others.

"Company sounds....good, if you've the time. I have't had anyone to talk to lately." The smile that had been given was returned, and A'ye brushed some lose strands of hair behind his ear. He made a mental note, to himself and Oyath, that he would need to cut his hair when he left. "I'm A'ye, of green Oyath."  

[Masterharper]

houllow

The bronzerider's brows knit with concern as A'ye broke into a coughing fit. Well, that wasn't surprising -- coughing and sneezing was the soundtrack of the Weyr. Still, he was glad that the man didn't start heaving, or rasping, like some others still in the infirmary. "You all right? May I get you something to drink?" He asked, almost hoping A'ye would say yes so he could at least feel semi-useful. Besides which, he knew how important staying hydrated was, and it might help A'ye if he tried to do much talking.

"No apologies, honest," he stated firmly. "You're still recovering, and even if you weren't, coughing doesn't bother me." Why should it? Having grown up in the conditions he'd been raised, he wasn't particularly squeamish or phobic over germs. Many of his group had suffered illness, and nights on the streets had often meant sniffles, coughs, colds, and fevers. He didn't want A'ye to be self-conscious.

When the green rider consented to him staying, his smile returned in full. "I've certainly got the time. It's Trespasser's rest day, so I've got all day -- though I promise I won't inflict myself on you that long," he once again assured in his breezy fashion. "I'm S'del, of bronze Kindeth, and it's nice to meet you...even if it's under unfortunate conditions." And that was the truth. He didn't mind spending time with those who weren't well; it almost was second nature to the man. "I'm more than happy to talk, and catch you up with some news outside of the infirmary. It's not like being assigned here is some sort of dream getaway, after all." It was a shame to hear the dark-haired man didn't have anyone to talk to -- though he supposed the Weyr was in a bit of a epidemic, and people either too sick to socialize, overly worried about going out in the midst of it, or were just too over-worked to go out calling. But that meant S'del could step up to that plate, couldn't he?

"How's your Oyath faring? How're you faring, for that matter?" Better? Worse? He almost regretted not knowing more about A'ye, so he could find a topic the other man might appreciate.  

[houllow]

Bronze. Bronzerider. A'ye felt himself blanch ever so slightly, and he hoped it wasn't noticeable among all the other colors that his body had been giving off during this illness. Why was he attracting so many bronzeriders lately, was there something about him that drew them to him? A'ye liked to consider himself very low on the radar and basically invisible to anyone who rode anything, and yet in the past few sevendays basically anyone and everyone he spoke to rode a metallic. He seriously wanted to melt into his bed and vanish, but even that would cause issues.

"Ah, no I'm...okay with the water, thank you." He hadn't answered anything other than his initial talk, and now A'ye had to try and keep his tone even. He wasn't upset, not in terms that he wanted this man to go, but there was a part of his mind that was super nervous. Why should he be, with this man being so kind as to talk to him and offer water, and then even ask about his dragon?

Not all bronze riders were awful in High Reaches, he knew this, but old habits died so hard.

He's curious about me? He has excellent taste. Oyath had picked up the stray thoughts in-between A'ye's small panic, and the tone of amusement in her rich voice made A'ye smile. Talk to him, and tell him that your Oyath is far too amazing for someone the likes of him to worry about. The greenrider knew he would be leaving that last bit out, but he did like his dragon's confidence.

Snapping out of his silence, A'ye offered a smile again as best he could. "Oyath says she's doing well and thanks you for your concern. She's actually eating right now, and I hope she doesn't make a mess." Oyath snorted in his mind, and he pushed her back. "Also it's really nice to meet you S'del, and please - just talk about anything." He cursed how he sounded desperate, but it was better than talking about himself right? "Errr, that is...ah." Without even thinking, he pressed his hands to his face. Why was he mortifying himself so much?

Masterharper

 

[Masterharper]

houllow

S'del was glad that the greenrider's coughing fit seemed to subside, and relaxed. He pulled a chair over, close enough so they could talk comfortably without disturbing anyone else in the infirmary. "Oh good! I'm glad she's well -- there are a lot of dragons not doing nearly as well as she. Unfortunately, out there isn't too much better. People are keeping themselves busy, but the Weyr's slowed to a crawl."

The bronze rider was happy to talk, though it was hard not to want to say something when A'ye hid his face in his hands. Peculiar. Was he upsetting him? Did he keep talking? Did he ask if he was all right? He didn't want to further upset the other by calling him out if he was shy, but he also didn't want to come off as heartless.

"You still up to this?" He asked with the smallest tilt of his head. "I promise, I'm happy to talk, honest," he assured breezily. "I don't have too many friends here, and while I've got Kindeth, I suppose you need more than just your dragon." The young rider wasn't entirely convinced that was true -- what he wouldn't give for his beloved bronze! -- but no man was an island, and no dragon rider for that matter. "How about you? Are you a High Reaches native or did you get Searched elsewhere like me?" That was always a (usually) safe bet of conversation, assuming A'ye wasn't shy about his past. "I was brought over a few Turns ago from Telgar Hold, and Impressed about Two Turns ago."

It might not be the most fasinating of conversation, but at least it was letting A'ye get to talk a bit about himself, and had the added benefit of S'del getting to know one of his fellow wingmates.  

[houllow]

A'ye wanted to shrivel in on himself. Normally he considered his personality decent enough, capable of holding proper conversations no matter who his partner was, but lately he was doing everything but chewing down the leather of his boots. He could almost taste the material as he pulled his hands down, getting a glance of S'del's worried face, and he felt bad that he was making someone who'd come to talk to him look upset. This was probably why people tended to be so aloof towards him - he was a horrible person and deserved the treatment.


Shut up and talk to him. A'ye sighed at the retort, though he was careful to keep the sigh inward. The very last thing he needed was to cause even more problems.

"I..don't have any friends." A'ye lowered his hands from his face, allowing them to come to rest on his lap. "I was born and raised here, in High Reaches, but..." His tone was soft and sad, and his gaze was set off into the distance at nothing in particular. "I was mostly alone growing up, and even with Oyath I'm not exactly on people's minds." Part of that was unintentional, part of it was self-preservation. A'ye rode Green, and he rode a very loud Green at that. This Weyr hated Green riders, even if they wouldn't come out and say it, and sometimes they did say it anyway.

The way he spoke about himself was clearly self-deprecating, but A'ye didn't mind. He spoke the truth, spoke most often what others wanted to hear. Praise those in power, keep your head down. Oyath angrily snorted in his head and he moved along.

"Do you like it here, in High Reaches? Where were you from before?"

Masterharper

I BLAME HIS SICKNESS

 

[Masterharper]

houllow

S'del was genuinely surprised when the rider confessed he had no friends. His surprised was echoed by Kindeth, who immediately wanted nothing more than send the poor greenrider an extra wave of affection. Thankfully, he restrained himself, and instead sent a worried croon to his rider. No friends? Oh Mine, you must be his friend, you must! Tell him I'll be his friend, too. Then he can have two new friends, and no longer needs to be alone. S'del could feel his bronze's worry ooze into him, and though his brows were still knit with concern, he did offer the other a warm smile. Kindeth sounded so earnest, it was hard not to do as his beloved beast bid.

"So sorry to hear that," he quickly stated, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I'm surprised, really. I guess all the stories you hear about weyrbrats bonding in the creche are just that -- fiction. I didn't meant to bring up a sore spot, truly." He added apologetically. "I'm kind of in a similar boat though," he added with his usual good cheer.

"I'm from Telgar Hold originally, but...uh. Grew up in the Hold's equivalent of a creche, and a badly managed one at that. Moved to the streets when I was old enough, and helped take care of a small group before being Searched." He spoke breezily, as if such a lifestyle was as normal as any. "Impressed Kindeth just over two Turns ago, but uh... Thread came back, and..." He let his words die, deciding that A'ye could fill in the rest with his imagination. If A'ye did the math, he'd know that S'del had been a weyrling when Thread came back, and that Telgar got hit the worst upon its return. While he'd never really talked about any of that to anyone, he decided it wasn't good bedside manners to bring up such a depressing topic.

No, he was here to cheer A'ye up, not drag the green rider down. So it was, he hastily continued. "Well, here I am. It's different, really, but I still don't know too many and can't say I have many friends, ether. I didn't expect to Impress, much less to Kindeth, but I guess the dragon knows best. I like it all right. I mean... There are some aspects I'm not really keen on," he added with a sigh, "But it's more than I've ever had, honestly. When did you Impress your Oyath?" He asked, hoping that maybe the turn of conversation would help lead to less heavy discussion. Besides, while he wasn't going to tell A'ye that he was bound and determine to make friends (much to Kindeth's dismay) he was going to at least try to make a connection.

Everyone could use a friend, couldn't they? S'del certainly could.  

[houllow]

A look of sympathy, true sympathy and concern, washed over A'ye's face.
Almost instinctively he moved his hand and placed it atop S'del's, giving a strong squeeze of support and affection for an event that was nearly two turns past. "What happened with Telgar was a tragedy that I would never want to see repeated, and that's why Oyath and I work hard to make sure we're worthy to fight alongside the others." There was another squeeze before A'ye pulled his hand back, letting it it rest in his lap with its pair. Such an action of affection was rare for the rider - not that S'del was likely to know - and inwardly A'ye was screaming about how absolutely forward he'd just been with a bronzerider.

Oyath snorted that she felt as though she could positively go between from laughter, which rolled throughout his body like a warm blanket. It threatened his lips, but he bit it back to continue the conversation. Someone was very willing to talk to him without being prompted to do so, and he would be a fool (and rude) to ignore such a gift.

"I impressed Oyath about seven turns ago. She came from a gold-bearing clutch, and to be honest I was surprised she picked me. You're right when saying a dragon knows best, but I was prepared to age out and help my mother in the creche with the fosterlings." At the mention of his mother, A'ye's face seemed to brighten a bit. "I've grown up with lots of brothers and sisters thanks to my mother and father raising them in, which makes me one of the lucky few who know both parents and were able to have an active relationship with them." A smile soon crossed his face. "I actually wanted to become a fosterer myself, were I not to impress. I felt it was a way I could help here in the Weyr, making sure that the generations of possible riders were raised well and happy."

The smile dropped, replaced by a panicked look. "Th-that's not to say I think myself something amazing, or that I'd be a good foster parent or anything. I've just been told that I have a lot of patience for situations most people don't, and that I'm really quick to adapt. And that now I sound like I'm bragging on myself. And I hate being sick. And I'm sorry you had to come talk to me."

Masterharper

 

[Uta]

houllow

Sorry for the delay! : D

S'del was surprised by A'ye's touch, but mostly by his pure sincerity. Telgar had taken the worst hit, and S'del would never forget just how devastated the area had been even half-a-Turn later, when Kindeth and he had been allowed to go back. All of his dearest friends and family were either dead or long-since-dispersed. He'd found who he could, had brought them back to the Weyr, but there were still names and faces he would never forget. Some told him not to blame himself -- what would he have been able to do had he actually been there? And if he had denied Search, what would have happened to Kindeth? -- but deep down, the young man knew he had failed them all. Still, he wasn't going to delve into such guilt, such confessions, not here. That was his burden to bear, and he'd wear it like a chain.

He looked up at A'ye, a flash of that quiet pain dimming his earlier warmth, though there was no denying his quiet gratitude at the gesture. "I'm glad there are riders like you out there. Thread's a terror, and I'd rather risk my own skin, or Kindeths, than let there be a repeat tragedy like that." Even the Weyr's worst Threadfighting days helped minimize the damage below. S'del couldn't go back and stop what happened.... but he could fight it, to spare someone going through such an awful fate.

Thankfully, the topic changed to something a bit less heavy. S'del's usual warmth and smile returned when the man spoke about his impression to Oyath and his family life. The fact that A'ye had once dreamed to work in the creche genuinely delighted the bronze rider. Having had no family as a child, and having lived in a shame of a creche in Telgar, he couldn't help but be doubly glad to meet someone with as caring a heart as A'ye. "I think that's amazing," he finally confessed. "I have nothing but the utmost respect for good fosterers. I... I used to think there was no such thing, but when I was first Searched, old habits had me peeking in at the creches here, just in case there was anyone who needed to be saved." He gave a small self-deprecating snort at how silly he knew he sounded, admitting to such ignorance as a freshly minted Candidate. "It was... an absolutely night and day experience, though. If all fosterlings grew up in places like this, or at least had nothing but loving foster-parnets, the world would be a far better place."

"I know I hope to one-day maybe... take a few on, if I can manage it. Not anytime soon, but maybe. Not sure it'll happen being a rider 'n all, but..." He gave a small shrug. He was young, but also felt it his duty to protect the most vulnerable. Something within S'del just demanded he do more. Kindeth, of course, was nothing but encouraging. The bronze would hae no problem with littles crawling all over him, or cuddling beneath his wing.

Whether or not he could make such time remained to be seen.

When A'ye started worrying about how he sounded, when the panic started to rise, the bronze rider just gave a low chuckle. It was his turn to lean in, and give the man's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I didn't think you were bragging, and you've certainly not done anything wrong. I think you do sound rather amazing, if a stranger's perspective is worth anything. Not everyone out there is so generous or warm-hearted, you know. I think anyone would be glad to know you, and any child happy to have you as a parent. Honest. Don't be sorry for talking-- I know I'm not."

And that was the truth! Though he was sorry A'ye was sick, he was glad the two of them were able to get to know one another.  

[houllow]

He shouldn't have -

He knew better -

It was -

So many thoughts rushed themselves through A'ye's mind, screaming and scolding him, telling him there'd been no reason and yet -

The moment S'del had reached over and touched the greenrider's hand, there'd been an instant change. A'ye had pulled his hand back, quickly, and a look of pure terror washed over his features. His already pale skin ran whiter than the sheets he rested beneath, and his eyes widened to where it seemed as though he could no longer see the person before him. "I - I, no - Sor -"

Whatever reaction he tried to give came out only a stammer, and the man drew in on himself as though to try and shrink away. He'd been so okay with touching the other, with his own forward actions, and yet the merest return of kindness had been met with a harsh rebuke.

Outside, the sound of a shriek pierced the calm air, Oyath venting her frustration at the sudden change of A'ye's feelings. It had been such a dramatic swing, one she could not recall experiencing before - or if she had it had been so long ago it was forgotten - and the dragon did not appreciate the change. A'ye had been so calm and peaceful, enjoying the conversation and even seeming to push forward but this was such a step back. She did not like it.

A'ye lowered his head, his voice soft and weak with shame. "I'm...sorry." He'd panicked so pointlessly against someone who'd been so kind and he knew it. "I....was startled, I guess. Not...I'm not used to people reaching out for me." Not when he was already pathetic from being ill at least.

Masterharper

Uta

 

[Uta]

houllow

The man flinched, and S'del withdrew his hand as if he'd been burned. Surprise and alarm was quickly replaced by worry, which were then overpowered by shame and embarrassment. He felt his face and ears burn, and dropped his gaze for a moment as he wildly tried to come up with some proper apology. He shouldn't have been so forward. He should have kept his hands to himself, or at least asked... Just because A'ye had reached out, didn't mean the condition could be returned.

Whatever he did, he had done wrong, and that wasn't right. He was supposed to be making A'ye feel better, not worse, and certainly not flinching. Kindeth crooned worriedly, sending His a wave of support and encouragement. You didn't do anything wrong, Mine. You couldn't have known he'd react like that.

Ah, but the bronze rider inwardly wilted. Stupid of him, really. Forcing himself to look back at the green rider, he gave a shake of his head. "No, no," he tried to interrupt the man's apologies. "Was my fault. I shouldn't have, and I certainly didn't mean to upset you. I'm just here to talk, after all, and I shouldn't have... been so tactile." Ah, but at his heart of heart's, the bronze rider was such a person. All his childhood he had craved to have a connection with a loving mother or father, a connection denied him. As he grew, he had wanted nothing more than to love and covet, and be loved and coveted in return. He went to great lengths to find a sense of fulfillment, and no matter how many marks he had, no matter how his situation changed, part of him was still that young man wanting to touch, to really connect. He had taken A'ye's touch as a sign the other might have been the same....

A foolish assumption, and a mistake he wouldn't repeat. "I'll keep my hands to myself." He assured. Depending on A'yes response, he'd even offer to leave, or cut their conversation short. If he upset the green rider or made him uncomfortable, he wouldn't drag out A'ye's suffering.  

[houllow]

"No." A'ye felt the word escape his lips before his brain could even catch up. He knew this was all on him, this hesitation and his actions - and he didn't want someone to suffer for it. The expressions that had crossed S'del's face actually hurt his heart, knowing the young man had done nothing to A'ye to merit such a response. "No, please stay. And...the hand touching was fine. It..." How did he want to say it without sounding like he was just trying to cater towards the other rider's feelings? Because honestly there was a part of him that was, though another part that wanted to clear things up.

Perhaps the best thing to do was reach out and take S'del's hand again, but wouldn't that be a mixed message? "It's fine, really. I'm just not used to people taking my hands, even though I went ahead and did the same to you." There was an awkward laugh that coated his words, and he pressed an honest smile to his face.

He needed to make this right, to let S'del know that he appreciated him being there and talking to him. That he was flattered by the kind words and gesture, and not just a selfish man sitting invalid in bed. But how was A'ye going to do it, without cheapening the moment or make him seem like he was mocking him? Several ideas ran through his head, and he settled on one that if it backfired, would send the young man away. That would be okay, A'ye could always seek him out and apologize once he was properly healthy, and so he took a deep breath. "Want to...try again?"

It sounded even worse out loud than it did in his head, but the greenrider was already far too committed to back down. He held his hand up and out, as if offering to have it shaken. His face was burning bright red, he knew it wasn't just the fever, but there was no way he was going to let someone believe they'd hurt him when they hadn't. S'del had done nothing wrong and A'ye had to make sure he believed it.

Uta

 

[Uta]

houllow

Bring on the awkward!

S'del couldn't help but still feel like a fool. He hated that he now made the poor man have to explain himself, have to suddenly explain himself. The brown-haired bronzerider had hoped that maybe his apology would be enough; he didn't want A'ye to feel bad, and he was still fighting down his own embarrassment.

But here they were.

"It really is okay," he tried, once more, to smooth over any awkwardness. "I just wasn't thinking." S'del was happy to take the blame -- it had been his forwardness that had caused the poor green rider to go all a fluster, and now here they were, trying to make things right. "I just didn't want you to feel bad about what you'd said, and I guess I just... well, I clearly made it even worse. I guess I'm not very good at this whole visiting thing." He gave a self-deprecating grin, reaching up to to run fingers through his hair in a bit of a nervous gesture.

When A'ye offered him a chance to try again, S'del hesitated just a moment. He really didn't want the green rider to think that he had to touch his hand, or to add any more awkwardness to this visit. On the other hand, not taking his hand would make things strained or weird, wouldn't it? And A'ye had confessed to not being used to it. "Sure," he quickly assured with a nod and a smile, "Sure. This time you know it's coming." Shoving any embarrassment to the wayside, the man reached out and took the others hand.

"There. That's not so bad now, is it?" He asked, only too late realizing he wasn't sure about the rules. Was he supposed to be holding his hand? Was he just supposed to be giving it a quick pat or squeeze like he original had? Was this too long? Was A'ye getting weirded out? Well. The man figured he'd just wing it. Surely, he'd know when A'ye wanted his hand returned, but just in case, he added, "I promise I won't keep it hostage."  

[houllow]

There was hestation in S'del's eyes, A'ye could see it, and he almost pulled his hand back and apologized for his forward behavior. It was ridiculous of him to try again when the man was clearly troubled by everything and he was only making it worse. Biting his lower lip ever so faintly, he started to move to set his hand down but was stopped as S'del took it. Instantly a wave of relief washed over his entire body and, surprisingly, he was able to exhale. Had he really been holding his breath, worried and nervous about his odd request?

It was really weird after all and he wanted to thank S'del for humoring him and trying to help him with something that was entirely baseless. He needed to open his mouth and say thank you and pull his hand back, to stop it from being awkward for S'del. A'ye really needed to let the man have his hand back and have personal space, but instead his mouth opened and he said: "You don't have to let go any time soon. I don't really mind, it feels nice." Instead. The words spilled out like water from a casket, and as soon as his brain caught up his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Er, that is -" He may have been stammering like something was wrong, but he made no move to yank his hand free.

Perhaps if he looked distressed enough a Healer would come by and put him out of his misery before he could self-destruct into a pile of shame and ash.

Uta

i would stab a man for these two ngl