Chat Thread: Chopsticks and teacups

[maenad nuri]

The Husband is happy. Like bouncing happy. He got his first placement for student teaching next semester. Looks like a residental program for Behavioral and Emotional Disorders, secondary ed. That's like, his dream.  

[TeaDidikai]

maenad nuri

The Husband is happy. Like bouncing happy. He got his first placement for student teaching next semester. Looks like a residental program for Behavioral and Emotional Disorders, secondary ed. That's like, his dream.

Awesome.  

[Recursive Paradox]

Sophist

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Ah, I see, I didn't know you were also poly. Thanks for sharing. Although this probably just makes me more confused.

XD Sorries? I can be confusing sometimes.

sweatdrop It's more my inability to comprehend the concept of attraction that differs from that of mere close friendship in a "relationship" sense, without it being sexual. I just don't understand. If sex is not the dividing line, what is?

I can't really be sure. One could go with self established context if one wanted (i.e. if it feels romantic for all parties, it is. If it doesn't, it isn't).

I guess one of my main points is that a lot of the means we use to objectively label the different "types" and contexts of love is actually quite subjective and quite poorly structured.  

[Bastemhet]

whiporwill-o

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
Oscar Wilde

lol! I like that. Thanks for that. Fashion is ugliness. It's fun when you can describe something in two words that are polar opposites of each other.  

[Ainwyn]

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Ah, I see, I didn't know you were also poly. Thanks for sharing. Although this probably just makes me more confused.

XD Sorries? I can be confusing sometimes.

sweatdrop It's more my inability to comprehend the concept of attraction that differs from that of mere close friendship in a "relationship" sense, without it being sexual. I just don't understand. If sex is not the dividing line, what is?

I can't really be sure. One could go with self established context if one wanted (i.e. if it feels romantic for all parties, it is. If it doesn't, it isn't).

I guess one of my main points is that a lot of the means we use to objectively label the different "types" and contexts of love is actually quite subjective and quite poorly structured.

Having been in a relationship with an asexual woman who is now a really, really close friend, I would say there's a huge difference between close friend vs. romantic relationship without sex. It's hard to explain, but there was a huge dynamic there when we were together that hasn't been there since. There was kissing and intimacies that went beyond the friend level, and there was a lot of attraction there, even physical attraction, just not of the sexual variety.  

[Bastemhet]

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Ah, I see, I didn't know you were also poly. Thanks for sharing. Although this probably just makes me more confused.

XD Sorries? I can be confusing sometimes.

sweatdrop It's more my inability to comprehend the concept of attraction that differs from that of mere close friendship in a "relationship" sense, without it being sexual. I just don't understand. If sex is not the dividing line, what is?

I can't really be sure. One could go with self established context if one wanted (i.e. if it feels romantic for all parties, it is. If it doesn't, it isn't).

I guess one of my main points is that a lot of the means we use to objectively label the different "types" and contexts of love is actually quite subjective and quite poorly structured.

I think my bias is getting in the way. For me, sex is the ultimate expression of romantic love. I understand that this is not true for everyone. And I very much agree with your main point.

Conversations like this make me grateful that I joined this guild. I feel like I can understand people better if they give me their words and allow me time to digest them on my own, without the demands of immediate reply that would be normal in a spoken conversation. I would like to empathize with your point of view but we may just be too different. In any case I am glad that you contributed to my learning about the variety of human experience.

sweatdrop Sometimes the mind explosions also make me feel a little crazy.  

[Bastemhet]

Ainwyn

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Ah, I see, I didn't know you were also poly. Thanks for sharing. Although this probably just makes me more confused.

XD Sorries? I can be confusing sometimes.

sweatdrop It's more my inability to comprehend the concept of attraction that differs from that of mere close friendship in a "relationship" sense, without it being sexual. I just don't understand. If sex is not the dividing line, what is?

I can't really be sure. One could go with self established context if one wanted (i.e. if it feels romantic for all parties, it is. If it doesn't, it isn't).

I guess one of my main points is that a lot of the means we use to objectively label the different "types" and contexts of love is actually quite subjective and quite poorly structured.

Having been in a relationship with an asexual woman who is now a really, really close friend, I would say there's a huge difference between close friend vs. romantic relationship without sex. It's hard to explain, but there was a huge dynamic there when we were together that hasn't been there since. There was kissing and intimacies that went beyond the friend level, and there was a lot of attraction there, even physical attraction, just not of the sexual variety.

I would consider any touching that went beyond the friend level as a sexual act. Sexual acts need not be limited just to stimulation of the genitalia. What do you think?  

[whiporwill-o]

Sophist

Ainwyn

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Ah, I see, I didn't know you were also poly. Thanks for sharing. Although this probably just makes me more confused.

XD Sorries? I can be confusing sometimes.

sweatdrop It's more my inability to comprehend the concept of attraction that differs from that of mere close friendship in a "relationship" sense, without it being sexual. I just don't understand. If sex is not the dividing line, what is?

I can't really be sure. One could go with self established context if one wanted (i.e. if it feels romantic for all parties, it is. If it doesn't, it isn't).

I guess one of my main points is that a lot of the means we use to objectively label the different "types" and contexts of love is actually quite subjective and quite poorly structured.

Having been in a relationship with an asexual woman who is now a really, really close friend, I would say there's a huge difference between close friend vs. romantic relationship without sex. It's hard to explain, but there was a huge dynamic there when we were together that hasn't been there since. There was kissing and intimacies that went beyond the friend level, and there was a lot of attraction there, even physical attraction, just not of the sexual variety.

I would consider any touching that went beyond the friend level as a sexual act. Sexual acts need not be limited just to stimulation of the genitalia. What do you think?

i tend to agree with that, like someone putting their hand on your thigh, it's one thing if it's your knee, totally different if it's your thigh, at least for me. i also agree with sex being a big part of expressing romantic love, but there are other ways that may have a deeper meaning, depending on the individuals involved. on the flip side, i also believe that one can have sex that is completely detached from any form of love at all.  

[whiporwill-o]

Sophist

whiporwill-o

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
Oscar Wilde

lol! I like that. Thanks for that. Fashion is ugliness. It's fun when you can describe something in two words that are polar opposites of each other.

you're welcome smile i'm rather fond of the quote, myself xd  

[Recursive Paradox]

Sophist

Ainwyn

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Recursive Paradox

Sophist

Ah, I see, I didn't know you were also poly. Thanks for sharing. Although this probably just makes me more confused.

XD Sorries? I can be confusing sometimes.

sweatdrop It's more my inability to comprehend the concept of attraction that differs from that of mere close friendship in a "relationship" sense, without it being sexual. I just don't understand. If sex is not the dividing line, what is?

I can't really be sure. One could go with self established context if one wanted (i.e. if it feels romantic for all parties, it is. If it doesn't, it isn't).

I guess one of my main points is that a lot of the means we use to objectively label the different "types" and contexts of love is actually quite subjective and quite poorly structured.

Having been in a relationship with an asexual woman who is now a really, really close friend, I would say there's a huge difference between close friend vs. romantic relationship without sex. It's hard to explain, but there was a huge dynamic there when we were together that hasn't been there since. There was kissing and intimacies that went beyond the friend level, and there was a lot of attraction there, even physical attraction, just not of the sexual variety.

I would consider any touching that went beyond the friend level as a sexual act. Sexual acts need not be limited just to stimulation of the genitalia. What do you think?

Having been with an ace person myself, I can tell you that nonsexual cuddling is very different in context from sexual cuddling. Sexual cuddling has that tilt of physical sexual attraction. It isn't just an expression of trust and connection, it has an element of sexual tension to it that can cause the cuddling to move towards stimulation (or even start to include stimulation without moving towards stronger or more blatant expressions of sexual desire). Whereas nonsexual cuddling is a very relaxed sort of intimacy, there's none of that urge and drive involved. Often when I'm in a very nonsexual mood, I'll do that sort of cuddling and to me the idea of sex never even crosses my mind. The ace person in question described it to me much in the same way.  

[whiporwill-o]

Recursive Paradox

Having been with an ace person myself, I can tell you that nonsexual cuddling is very different in context from sexual cuddling. Sexual cuddling has that tilt of physical sexual attraction. It isn't just an expression of trust and connection, it has an element of sexual tension to it that can cause the cuddling to move towards stimulation (or even start to include stimulation without moving towards stronger or more blatant expressions of sexual desire). Whereas nonsexual cuddling is a very relaxed sort of intimacy, there's none of that urge and drive involved. Often when I'm in a very nonsexual mood, I'll do that sort of cuddling and to me the idea of sex never even crosses my mind. The ace person in question described it to me much in the same way.

sorry, i just kinda threw myself into this conversation, but it holds some interest for me.

this idea of nonsexual cuddling makes sense, but i would never cuddle in any manner with anyone but my SO. we cuddled in a nonsexual manner when we watched movies at home, but i am not a very touchy-feely person in general and the act of cuddling with not my SO would feel very awkward and nonrelaxing to an extreme degree. even when someone hugs me a certain way, if i am not romantically involved with them, makes me feel very uneasy and physically stressed.  

[Bastemhet]

Recursive Paradox

Having been with an ace person myself, I can tell you that nonsexual cuddling is very different in context from sexual cuddling. Sexual cuddling has that tilt of physical sexual attraction. It isn't just an expression of trust and connection, it has an element of sexual tension to it that can cause the cuddling to move towards stimulation (or even start to include stimulation without moving towards stronger or more blatant expressions of sexual desire). Whereas nonsexual cuddling is a very relaxed sort of intimacy, there's none of that urge and drive involved. Often when I'm in a very nonsexual mood, I'll do that sort of cuddling and to me the idea of sex never even crosses my mind. The ace person in question described it to me much in the same way.

Ah, forgive me. I thought an asexual person is by definition a person who is not interested in, incapable of feeling, or averse to feeling sexual feelings. I guess then in your case asexual means capable of feeling sexual feelings, but not wanting to engage in sexual intercourse?  

[Wrath of Ezekiel]

I'm with the gay organization at school right now. Overnight "Flag Guard" for the huge rainbow flag for "Coming Out" week. We're having a Glee marathon! biggrin  

[Ainwyn]

Sophist

Ainwyn

Having been in a relationship with an asexual woman who is now a really, really close friend, I would say there's a huge difference between close friend vs. romantic relationship without sex. It's hard to explain, but there was a huge dynamic there when we were together that hasn't been there since. There was kissing and intimacies that went beyond the friend level, and there was a lot of attraction there, even physical attraction, just not of the sexual variety.

I would consider any touching that went beyond the friend level as a sexual act. Sexual acts need not be limited just to stimulation of the genitalia. What do you think?

This is where I was talking about it being hard to explain, because I explained it badly lol. Most of the touching was just cuddling, holding hands and back rubs, which is pretty much par for the course with most of our friends (most of us don't have any barriers at all). However, she has a huge touching phobia, and isn't as touchy feely as the rest of our group. So there was a feeling there that made it feel different than the relationships I had with my friends, even though it might look like it's the same to an outsider (well, besides the kissing).

Sorry, I might not be making sense still. I'll think this over more tomorrow and come back to it when I'm not totally frazzled by life. I hate life right now.  

[Calixti]

True Colours of Destiny

I'm with the gay organization at school right now. Overnight "Flag Guard" for the huge rainbow flag for "Coming Out" week. We're having a Glee marathon! biggrin

HOORAY FOR GLEE! biggrin

Did anyone else cry at the end of this week's episode? Or was it just me? sweatdrop