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 Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 9:31 pm
Copypasta from the homosexuality is not a sin thread where I had been discussing this for several days beforehand, and it really was a spiritual moment for me so thought I'd share it here.
So church service was really really good. I actually cried during the sermon, it was so . . . this sounds arrogant and I don't mean it to be but I can't think of the proper words for it . . . like it was directed at me?
Still, as touching as it was, and as honored and humbled by the fact that either YHVH or Jesus was reaching out to me, and although I am going to implement a lot of the lessons the Reverend spoke into my life, I'm not sure I'm ready to title myself one of the Good Shepard's sheep. In the end I may return to the fold, or I may not. Even if I don't and probably go to Hell, or heck even if I do and probably go to Hell, I still want to go to this church, and learn what I can.
There were a LOT of gay people there. I met a guy whom I'd known before, and found out I knew his parents and him simultaneously but without making the connection gonk Also, one of the guys there seemed to not be so aware of my personal space. I got a very "I want you" vibe from him, I could be wrong, I'm not some sort of psychic, but that's what it seemed like to me. And I wasn't really interested in him that way. I went to the church wondering if I'd meet and maybe hook up with some guy, but after the sermon I was like "Why the ******** am I thinking these ludicrous thoughts, they don't serve me at all!" So yeah, I still want a relationship, but not as badly or desperately as before. My libido is still high (thanks spring) but I was reminded of how going for the sex first before having something is bad for me personally.
Yeah, and a bunch of other things are going on in my head that I can't really put into words.
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Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 10:24 pm
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Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 11:03 pm
Ooo! You've equipped the Kotan Bell! surprised
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Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 11:11 pm
Gho the Girl Ooo! You've equipped the Kotan Bell! surprised Yep yep. I rarely change my Avi. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 1:44 am
Godspeed Ainwyn. surprised
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 6:34 am
I like how my avi looks like me now. *grin*
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Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 9:14 pm
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 1:14 am
It is not even FUNNY how many times per day I'm checking my e-mail. Why can't they just tell me whether or not I got the internship already?? gonk
*anxiously munches chocolate chips*
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 2:56 am
mute_coyote It is not even FUNNY how many times per day I'm checking my e-mail. Why can't they just tell me whether or not I got the internship already?? gonk *anxiously munches chocolate chips* I've been checking my emails so much since I came to England because of the stupid time dilation (and yes, I know I shouldn't use that word).
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 4:06 am
Gho the Girl Copypasta from the homosexuality is not a sin thread where I had been discussing this for several days beforehand, and it really was a spiritual moment for me so thought I'd share it here. So church service was really really good. I actually cried during the sermon, it was so . . . this sounds arrogant and I don't mean it to be but I can't think of the proper words for it . . . like it was directed at me? Still, as touching as it was, and as honored and humbled by the fact that either YHVH or Jesus was reaching out to me, and although I am going to implement a lot of the lessons the Reverend spoke into my life, I'm not sure I'm ready to title myself one of the Good Shepard's sheep. In the end I may return to the fold, or I may not. Even if I don't and probably go to Hell, or heck even if I do and probably go to Hell, I still want to go to this church, and learn what I can. There were a LOT of gay people there. I met a guy whom I'd known before, and found out I knew his parents and him simultaneously but without making the connection gonk Also, one of the guys there seemed to not be so aware of my personal space. I got a very "I want you" vibe from him, I could be wrong, I'm not some sort of psychic, but that's what it seemed like to me. And I wasn't really interested in him that way. I went to the church wondering if I'd meet and maybe hook up with some guy, but after the sermon I was like "Why the ******** am I thinking these ludicrous thoughts, they don't serve me at all!" So yeah, I still want a relationship, but not as badly or desperately as before. My libido is still high (thanks spring) but I was reminded of how going for the sex first before having something is bad for me personally. Yeah, and a bunch of other things are going on in my head that I can't really put into words. I can't really see myself going back to YHVH or my old beliefs any time soon, but sometimes I wonder if its dishonest of me not to... For now I'm just trying to let go of my grudge against YHVH. I don't generally run around provoking Christians into fights, and I'd rather make friends than enemies in any denomination, but for some reason I still have a personal image of YHVH as a tyrant and cruel god, even if thats not how I'm supposed to look at him, or even if I shouldn't acknowledge him at all any more... I hope I'm not being offensive to you, I'm touched you had an experience like this, it just reminded me of how I'm trying to let go.
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 11:30 am
I spent lots of money today. Thank the gods for Topshop/Topman and H&M. ninja
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 1:00 pm
My exam is in a week :S
If it's on Solon or the peisistratid tyranny then I'm good! If it's on anything after that...I'm screwed! The panic is really setting in!
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 9:35 pm
I finally got a nice sized bottle of Slivovica. The brand is a Serbian one, 45%.
Just in time as well - finals set in here in less than a week and I could use some plum-distilled stress reliever! It's frakkin delicious.
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 10:03 pm
I need to brew something different...
But what!?
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2009 6:02 am
Elderflower wine? (do you have elderflowers in the USA?)
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