A Healthy Dose of PMS ~#

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

~Monday 19th July, 2010.

Yay! With today came a little more progress. I didn't start writing until late, but at least I got a little written. I'm also not back to my regular 3k-a-day routine, but writing more than a thousands words is much better than anything that's happened this last few months. Not to mention, I'm not entirely unhappy with what I've written.

Making the Wild Wild West more magical, one step at a time. XD

My characters just got threatened by the sheriff, who confronts them with accusations of theft only twenty minutes after they arrive in the town, lmao. Yay!

Words written today: 1,512

Word count: 2,695

Lines for today:

A small knot wedged in her stomach. Standing in the doorway of a neighbouring building was a man in a dark leather jacket, which was heavy despite the heat. His hat was wide-brimmed, tilted down over his eyes and shading his face. Elv noticed almost immediately the sparkle of metal on his jacket in the shape of a star. Just like in those old movies.

“s**t,” she muttered, back still turned to her partner.

“My sentiments exactly.”  

[DesertRoseFallen]

I'm sure everything will be back to normal soon! Poetry is a part of my course for some bizaare reason and short stories which I'm not too bummed out about.

 

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

As long as everything is progressing, I don't care how fast I write. Words are words and so long as I keep getting 'em, I don't care about anything else. XP

I bet there are a lot of people out there who up until now wrote nothing but poetry and are thinking 'Oh s**t' about everything else, haha.  

[DesertRoseFallen]

Hahaha yes, progress is progress. Ack, I just don't see poetry as an interesting subject. I've never enjoyed reading it!

 

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

Me either! Hence why I dodge it whenever I can. But if you can relax enough to just have a laugh it can be real good fun. XP  

[DesertRoseFallen]

Haha I hope it will be fun! I tried it and I laughed for about five minutes at my crappy attempts xD

 

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

That's the best part. XD

I've not written for the last couple of days. I've been feeling really tired recently, and it's seriously affecting my life. I think it's the medication I'm on. Tonight I'll give writing another go and see if I can get any progress - I might have to extend my goal by a couple of days, though.  

[DesertRoseFallen]

sad That sucks. I hate that feeling where you are either so tired or unmotivated to write even though you really want to.

 

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

I know. It's horrid. .___. However, on the plus side at least I want to write, which is a far sight better than how I've been feeling this last few months. I've been avoiding it, if anything, so just feeling like writing is a nice step forward.

It's funny because while struggling with my depression my writing decreased but I was at least still working, and then once I began to figure things out writing became less and less important until I wasn't even thinking about it for weeks at a time. That's so unlike me, it's shocking. @__@ Hopefully that's changed now though.  

[DesertRoseFallen]

Yes, it is a good sign. Ack, I hate those bouts though I find writing makes me better because I express my emotion in them. Writing is supposed to help depression, which I found weird haha.

 

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

When my depression hits, it hits everything, including my ability to communicate properly. I lose faith in my writing, relationships and spend days lying in bed watching DVDs, lol. It's awful - though I do sometimes get ideas during those horrible days.

I hit 5k last night, which is a nice little number to celebrate. The story is going pretty smoothly, and I'm winging it as I go along which is precarious but fun. XD I'm enjoying myself, even if it feels like my quality is lacking a little. =P  

[KaNugget]

Psychotic Maniacal Sanity

When my depression hits, it hits everything, including my ability to communicate properly. I lose faith in my writing, relationships and spend days lying in bed watching DVDs, lol. It's awful - though I do sometimes get ideas during those horrible days.

Don't you hate it when people think depression is inspiring? I mean, yeah, I get some ideas while depressed too, but there is no way I ever have enough energy to write them.  

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

I know! The worst thing is, I have such a fear of doctors I won't dare get myself diagnosed so I don't have any proof OR medication. People think I'm being dramatic, but I know I have a problem. XD Luckily I have a great family, and even if they don't know what the problem is they're willing to help me.

I never have the energy to do anything when I'm depressed though. I can barely even wake up. Before Easter at uni, when I didn't have many classes, I barely even got out of bed. Writing was the last thing on my mind, haha.

I guess it's because a lot of famous authors had problems with mental health? I wish I had their genius. XD  

[KaNugget]

Psychotic Maniacal Sanity

I know! The worst thing is, I have such a fear of doctors I won't dare get myself diagnosed so I don't have any proof OR medication. People think I'm being dramatic, but I know I have a problem. XD Luckily I have a great family, and even if they don't know what the problem is they're willing to help me.

I never have the energy to do anything when I'm depressed though. I can barely even wake up. Before Easter at uni, when I didn't have many classes, I barely even got out of bed. Writing was the last thing on my mind, haha.

I guess it's because a lot of famous authors had problems with mental health? I wish I had their genius. XD

Well I'm diagnosed but barely treated. I use to see a therapist, but my mom and I would go in together and my mom would just use the session to tattle on me. So I stopped going. Also my bi-polar is kind of weird because it's not technically bi-polar, but I'm still diagnosed as having bi-polar, idk. I have the exact same symptoms of bi-polar, but for different reason. I have a hormonal imbalance that just causes me to go crazy. It's why I tend to have more periods of manic and depression than the normal bi-polar patient. I'm treated by birth control.

My mother wouldn't even let me go on birth control right away, she made me wait a year until my dad, my doctor, and I could convince her. So I spent a whole extra year with this crazy periods of manic and depression and mood swings than I should have. Sorry about the ranting, lol, I tend to do that.

You lucky that your family is so supportive. My family knows about my problems and are no help. Even my dad makes little jokes about how badly I use to do in school and he keeps telling me I'm going to drop out after my first semester.

I can understand the whole thinking author with mental health thing, though. When I'm manic I'm such a beast! rofl  

[Psychotic Maniacal Sanity]

I can't help but think if I had manic episodes I might get something done as well! All I need is energy and I'm fine, but I don't get that a lot. XP

When I was put on birth control for another condition I have, to even out my hormones, it only made the depression worse. It didn't help that I was also away from home for the first time at that time as well. It's okay though, because things are evening out a bit more now, thankfully.

It sucks that your family aren't a bit more supportive though. My mum denies that I'm 'depressed', but she's always there when I am feeling down, ha.