Eldest Battle

• Artist: BlazingXeir
• Description: Remember the end of Eldest? Yeah this is Murtagh's point of view. This is a bit of a spoiler if you haven't read Eldest yet. It is the sequal to Eragon. I would like constructive critism. Thank you.
• Date: 07/19/2008
• Tags: eldest

Dark clouds rage above us
As we choose our sides

The people on yours
The ruler on mine

As I look from the sky
I see a blood bath

Both sides giving their all
I wonder if i chose the right path

I see my chance
And attack you from the side

I ask you to forgive me
Oh brother of mine

Comments

[BlazingXeir]

thanks again smile and he knows.....

[Phoenix Leonheart]

Rocks my socks...it's nice....my cat still hates Shadow though....

[BlazingXeir]

Thank you guys for the feedback. I'm glad you like it.

[Captin Fluffy 3636]

Hey good work, it captures the feel of the whole scene nicely.

[Rord of the MBKT]

Well done ^^

[E d i b l e F l o w e r]

I like how you put it into two line phrases instead of four, it adds an interesting touch.
I havent read the books, but the poem is nice ^ ^' The only concrits I can give are on the end rhymes "path" and "bath" because they are perfect rhymes while the rest of the poem contains mostly half rhymes and internal rhymes. It just sounds a bit off, is all. But otherwise its nice, has a very strait forward feel, which is fitting for a battlefield.