• Okay, I have a story for you. One that I know you've always wondered about. This is the story of Carl.

    Carl wasn't always an elk, y'know. He was born Carl Carlson, in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada. After high school, he ended up moving with his high school sweetheart, Maggie McKay, to Williams Lake, British Columbia. There he attended Thompson Rivers University, completing a Heavy Duty Equipment Technician apprenticeship. He married Maggie shortly before he graduated, and they settled down in a handyman's special on the edge of town. She worked at a diner in town, and he worked on equipment at one of the logging companies outside of town.

    On the weekends, he would go out hunting with his best friend, Mackenzie Mackenzie. He would dress up in his hunting jacket, his ridiculous hat with the antlers on it, grab his gun and a beer, and off they would go into the woods. They never shot anything, and half the time they were lucky to make it back to the truck before they got too drunk and passed out.

    However, one expedition was different. Carl, only on his second beer of the day, saw a beautiful elk in a clearing in front of him. He raised his rifle, aimed carefully, and fired. It was a clean shot, dropping the buck where it stood. As he ran up to it, the body of the elk started to glow. It wasn't a normal animal Carl had killed, oh no. This animal had been carrying the spirit of the protector of the forest. The spirit, angered that Carl had killed the elk, transformed Carl into an elk before it disappeared into the forest.

    Carl tried to tell Mackenzie, his wife, anybody who would listen, about what happened to him. Unfortunately, being an elk, he couldn't speak. Mackenzie ran away from him screaming, and took off in the truck without him. When Carl made it to town, he went into his house to see his wife. She screamed in terror and locked herself in the bedroom before calling the police. Animal Control eventually tranquilized Carl, and released him into the woods over a hundred miles away. Broken-hearted at his loss and angry at the spirit that did this to him, he wandered off alone into the woods.

    That's the story of how Carl became an elk. How he traveled to Barton Town and ended up running a clothing store is a story for another day. Now, off to bed, kiddos. It's past your bedtime.