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Homestuck inspired troll related b/c 

Tags: homestuck, troll, breedables, mspa, alternia 

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Barius Cactae - Yellowblood [ACCEPTED]

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-ChemicalBeat-

PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:16 pm
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Name: Barius Cactae
Barius - Is the combination of Terminus the god of Boundaries/Barriers, and the word "Barrier".
Cactae - The misspelling of Cactaceae which is the plant family name of cacti.


Blood colour: Yellow Blood #AEBD28 █████

Gender: Male

Symbol: An oval, that is surrounded by a half circle, and connects to the middle of the oval on both sides. The half circle also has spikes on it. ((Picture Reference has a better representation of it))

Profile:
"What's really out there?"

From being a young grub after being found by his lusus in the caves, Barius has been sheltered and cooped up in his hive most his life. his panpapa raised him this way to try and protect him from the rest of the trolls. Barius never questioned it, but always believed his papa to be the bravest, wisest, and strongest lusus ever. especially after hearing many terrifying and adventurous stories of grandeur told by his papa. Panpapa intended these stories to try to warn, and scare Barius, so that maybe he wouldn't try to adventure too far from his lusus or his hive. all stories of brutal, coniving, and blood thirsty trolls all out to cull each other. especially the trolls of the higher blood spectrum. they were truelly the most dangerous and ruthless of trolls and all out to hunt down lower bloods like Barius.

The stories Panpapa would tell Barius would also tell of grand and magical places in the world. describing rich, dangerous, and elegant environments that covered their world. as Barius heard more and more of these stories his imagination would begin to wander, however his imagination was getting to be not enough for him. as he is becoming a kid he's craving to see the sights of the world. these many environments his papa would explain in detail to him. to journey out and witness it all, so he could have stories to tell others. as long as he could meet other trolls that will listen. his adventurous nature has even caused him to push himself and explore the desert around his hive. which lead him to finding his favorite of all plants in the world. a cactus.

Barius has taken it upon himself to collect, and care for any cactus he happens upon. growing a strong fascination with them seeing as they reminded him of his papa. it didn't have a shell, but it has a prickly exterior that prevented it from being touched. the cactuses also reminded him of himself, since he was also suppose to protect himself from others. after he got one he decided he wanted more and would adventure more and more finding every size, shape, and color of cactus he could find. he'd plant them around his hive and nurture them. he spends several hours in his garden, watching them, and tending to them. he also has a fascination with all their different colored flowers. occasionally picking them, and pressing them in books to keep them forever. he cares dearly for them, just like his does his papa who he also has to care for sometimes. being that panpapa is having a hard time seeing lately. he spends hours in his garden, caring, studying, and playing amongst his cactuses. he has even given each one a name and personality, calling them his "Cactus Friends".

Every now and then his papa would take Barius with him to the market to go shopping, especially now as his vision has gotten worse. this has allowed Barius to see a little bit of chittentown, and see other trolls. his image of them changing in his mind. some looking dangerous, and some looking fun and friendly. which has actually made him envious of them, creating that spark of wanting to interact, but still scared they had ulterior motives. so he'd start to talk to the booth merchants, and getting to know them. his lusus would generally shoosh him, and tell him what to say in panpapa language. Barius would always try to convince his papa that he wanted to talk to other trolls, but his lusus would just have him stay home from going with him instead. which has made him lonelier, and to not talk about wanting to meet other trolls.

He's still a very naive troll though. not knowing what the real world holds for him, and leaving him open to being tricked by smarter trolls. He even didn't know about the real problems and events happening in the world. not knowing there is mutant bloods, and a resistance. his lusus tried to keep the resistance from him as well, so that Barius may not get ideals of trying to join it. seeing as they both have such a strong distrust of high bloods.

Even though he wants to journey out however, Barius enjoys staying home where he can be silly, and care free around his lusus and cactuses. scared to be too free when out in the market. He just wants to be silly, and carefree with other trolls as well. So maybe he can care for them as well and be as open around them.



Strengths:

"Nurturing" - "Here, I can handle it don't worry about a thing!."
Barius grew up to become a very nurturing and caring individual. holding on dearly to what he truelly care about and making sure it's taken care of. Whether it be his lusus, his "Cactus friends", or a troll that he can put his trust into. With his lusus he goes out of his way to help him the best he can. Since his Lusus was injured in a hunt Barius tries to help him a lot. He's also done this for all the cactuses he collects, spending hours tending to them, and having a strong fascination with them to put his care into growing them.

"Adventurous" - "I'm gonna see the world one day!"
After being cooped up so long Barius craves to explore the troll world. See what wonderful sights it has to behold, and meet many different trolls. Never shying away from a challenge and a new situation. He feels he's not making a lot out of his life by staying cooped up all the time, and even sneaks out occassionally to adventure into the desert. Even wanting to find others who are just as adventurous with as him and to be able to tell grand stories of his adventures like his lusus told him growing up.


Flaws:

"Wary" - "How do I know I can trust you..."
Being that he grew up only seeing trolls owning booths in the market with his lusus, his "cactus friends", and listening to his papa's warnings about other trolls beings dangerous and very cruel beings. Barius has a small ounce of hesitation and worry when it comes to other trolls. Not knowing how they'll react, if they'll try to betray him, or hurt him. So, he's always nervous to approach other trolls, but still craves that interaction. He is wary around all trolls, but the ones he trusts the least are the higher bloods. Because, they think they are above him, so they will definitely try to manipulate him. So, He's more likely to trust a lower blood color, than he is a high blood color.

"Naive" - "I mean, You seem like a person I can trust!"
Ultimately, he's been given warnings and been told many things about other trolls and their society, but he's really very unaware of how the world works outside his hive. He's convinced himself that there are other nice trolls out there, and that there is much adventure to be had outside his four walls. He's unaware there's any resistance, or what feats the trolls have made in society as of so far. So, when it's brought up he is oblivious and marvels at these spectacles. Making him very gullible, to the point if he trusts someone they could possibly make him believe whatever they wanted him to believe.


Weapon: Shovel

Appearance: Barius has your typical grey skin, and is of an average height. A little skinny, for his height, but he doesn't mind that too much. His eyes are a typical black with a yellow scelera. His hair is patterned much like his Saber Tooth Pangolin dad. His hair is cut in the style of the scales on his lusus's back. It reaches down to his shoulder blades, and is shaved on the sides of his head. His candy corn colored hair, stretch over his head, ending in a rounded point, and are each spikey. He wears a Grey/yellow Argyle, black long sleeved shirt. With a dark grey on underneath that. He also wears a pair of black shorts, and sandals. One his knees are bandaids of different colors, and his knees are very dirty.

Home: Outskirts of Chittentown, he dwells within a hive that is partially buried underground like a hobbit home.

Lusus: Panpapa - Saber Toothed Pangolin
Panpapa is a very strict, and guarded lusus. He's a large pangolin that stands at 5''ft on all fours. His body is covered in many deep set scars and has a blind eye from a scratch over it and slowly his other eye with is losing it's sight. Panpapa raised Barius away from other trolls as best he could. Not trusting of other trolls, because of how ruthless they were. Especially the high bloods, because he was being hunted by one for fun which is what gave him his scars. Ever since Barius was young though, the young grub was craving to see the outside world. He believed telling him made up stories of dangerous adventures, threatening environements, and Terrifying terror beasts would scare Barius into staying in his hive. Mostly for fear that Barius would venture out and be hunted down, because he was such a caring troll and a troll of a low blood. Part of him is slowly trying to open up to the idea of maybe interacting with trolls his age, but he's still very watchful.


Power: N/A  
PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2017 9:02 pm
First crit! I dig that you're leaning into Barius's cactus theme. The added love of colorful accent clothing is also a nice detail--makes me think of those rare times when it rains and all the cacti bloom.

You're going to need more info for Barius's strengths and flaws. Our basic guidelines are that they're character traits that affect your character every night of their lives. Being good with plants is a perfectly serviceable skill, but it currently doesn't describe Barius as a person. I'd recommend either adding additional strengths/weaknesses to build him out, or rewording the entry so it depicts more of his personality. What is it about Barius that makes him good with cacti? Is he a good study when it comes to remembering types of cacti? Is he observant, so he knows when a plant needs more TLC? Is he so dedicated to his work of choice that he spends hours managing his garden?

The same critique extends to his eccentricity strength too. You can't say with certainty what other people and their characters are going to consider interesting hobbies. What is it about Barius himself that would make a troll want to hang out with him? Being a goofball is a good start. Again, you can expand it to other areas of his life, like "he doesn't sweat the small stuff," or "he tries to make sure people are having a good time."

Barius's tendency to look out for himself first makes sense, but I'd like to hear more about how that manifests for him personally. Would he be really obvious about it, like throw someone under the bus for personal gain, or is it just a "when he has to make a choice," type of thing? Does he feel guilt over it? Is it something he does reflexively, or does he make escape plans?

Second verse, same as the first with his distrust. What does he expect other trolls to do to him? What does he do about it? Does his distrust come from a place of fear? His minor rebellious tendencies make him seem a little aggressive in his distrust. (Speaking of: are his clothes intentionally rebellious, or does he just not know better? Is he trying to stick it to the man, or does he just like colors?) How does this trait cause him to interact with people? How does he treat someone he wants to be friends with versus some rando off the street?

We're also going to need more information on Barius's lusus. When trolls are kids, they're accompanied everywhere by their lusii, so Barius's lusus (Pangolindad? Pangorent?) is going to be present for most if not all of his kid-stage RPs. There's some good info on him in Barius's profile section, but I'd like to know more specific deets. Why does he stress the importance of isolation and independence so much? What kinds of "warnings and stories" has he told Barius? What kind of parent is he? Stern? Loving? Overbearing? Aloof? How does he interact with trolls that aren't Barius?

If you need an example of anything I've brought up, we keep all of the original applications of shop trolls here in the Completed Quests subforum. Also feel free to ask if you have questions or need clarification on something!  

seekingCylem
Crew

Ice-Cold Cultist

9,875 Points
  • Brandisher 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Hygienic 200

-ChemicalBeat-

PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 11:55 am
seekingCylem
First crit! I dig that you're leaning into Barius's cactus theme. The added love of colorful accent clothing is also a nice detail--makes me think of those rare times when it rains and all the cacti bloom.

You're going to need more info for Barius's strengths and flaws. Our basic guidelines are that they're character traits that affect your character every night of their lives. Being good with plants is a perfectly serviceable skill, but it currently doesn't describe Barius as a person. I'd recommend either adding additional strengths/weaknesses to build him out, or rewording the entry so it depicts more of his personality. What is it about Barius that makes him good with cacti? Is he a good study when it comes to remembering types of cacti? Is he observant, so he knows when a plant needs more TLC? Is he so dedicated to his work of choice that he spends hours managing his garden?

The same critique extends to his eccentricity strength too. You can't say with certainty what other people and their characters are going to consider interesting hobbies. What is it about Barius himself that would make a troll want to hang out with him? Being a goofball is a good start. Again, you can expand it to other areas of his life, like "he doesn't sweat the small stuff," or "he tries to make sure people are having a good time."

Barius's tendency to look out for himself first makes sense, but I'd like to hear more about how that manifests for him personally. Would he be really obvious about it, like throw someone under the bus for personal gain, or is it just a "when he has to make a choice," type of thing? Does he feel guilt over it? Is it something he does reflexively, or does he make escape plans?

Second verse, same as the first with his distrust. What does he expect other trolls to do to him? What does he do about it? Does his distrust come from a place of fear? His minor rebellious tendencies make him seem a little aggressive in his distrust. (Speaking of: are his clothes intentionally rebellious, or does he just not know better? Is he trying to stick it to the man, or does he just like colors?) How does this trait cause him to interact with people? How does he treat someone he wants to be friends with versus some rando off the street?

We're also going to need more information on Barius's lusus. When trolls are kids, they're accompanied everywhere by their lusii, so Barius's lusus (Pangolindad? Pangorent?) is going to be present for most if not all of his kid-stage RPs. There's some good info on him in Barius's profile section, but I'd like to know more specific deets. Why does he stress the importance of isolation and independence so much? What kinds of "warnings and stories" has he told Barius? What kind of parent is he? Stern? Loving? Overbearing? Aloof? How does he interact with trolls that aren't Barius?

If you need an example of anything I've brought up, we keep all of the original applications of shop trolls here in the Completed Quests subforum. Also feel free to ask if you have questions or need clarification on something!


Okay Cy, I'm ready for my next critique. I've tried to rope it in and put more careful detail in!  
PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 7:28 pm
Daaaaang, you did a hell of a lot of work on this--and it shows! Fantastic changes!
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seekingCylem
Crew

Ice-Cold Cultist

9,875 Points
  • Brandisher 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Hygienic 200

-ChemicalBeat-

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 8:06 pm
seekingCylem
Daaaaang, you did a hell of a lot of work on this--and it shows! Fantastic changes!
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
Thank you so much Cy!  
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