[BATT] Rampant Clownsumerism (Aandes + Sinter)

[seekingCylem]

Between Aandes' sharp eye and Sinter's natural affinity for the holidays, what could go wrong?

Shopping at Giggle's Mirthland.

 

[seekingCylem]

HP: 16/20
Small Presents: 0
Medium Presents: 0
Large Presents: 1

"Thank you again for the... assistance, Aandes."

Sinter had wanted to use a more accurate term like "tactical support," but figured the night had only just begun. Sinter had been playing things by ear even since calling up Aandes in the first place. He hadn't truly expected the greenblood to pick up, much less agree to accompany Sinter on his bizarre quest. Sinter would have honestly been content with a few short words of advice. "What sorts of gifts speak to highblood sensibilities without looking too forced coming from a lowblood?" Sinter had felt ridiculous for asking in the first place, but decided it would be better to get the embarrassment out of the way early with Aandes, then later with a less understanding audience. Networking was hard. While Tamiya's status was enough of a boon to allow Sinter the opportunities to network in the first place, that was about all she brought to that particular arena, sadly.

Fortunately, Sinter knew Aandes, and Aandes knew networking. Better still, he knew professional networking from the perspective of the relatively lower classes. If anyone could coach Sinter in taking advantage of commercial holidays to solidify good first impressions, Aandes was a good bet.

He was even a good enough sport to accompany Sinter into Giggle's Mirthland. Sinter felt a little bad for taking advantage of Aandes' generosity. However, Tamiya deserved a gift for 12th Perigee's, and Sinter would immolate himself before going on a second holiday shopping spree.

Sinter acquires 1 large present!

 

[Sypon]

HP: 15/20
Presents: 4 medium

‘Twas the season for consumerism, feeding that gluttonous clown called capitalism, and gratuitous violence disguised as retail-based vigor. The perfect setting for that was, of course, this horrendous shop – and the perfect partner had turned out to be none other than Sinter Heilig. This wasn’t Aandes’ first hoofbeast wrangling. Providing his assistance to a favored connection was incredibly important, especially when the opportunity was so challenging and right up his alley. Lending a hand in the season of giving was a symbol of trust. Doing so in the hellish landscape of seasonal shopping (at a highblood establishment, no less) was practically miraculous. And on one hand – even though he hated to admit it – Aandes really wanted to, just because. Was it the adrenaline? Getting deals? Seeing Sinter? Ugh!

Regardless, Aandes briskly rendezvous’d with Sinter before entering Giggle’s Mirthland. “This is actually good timing,” Aandes explained, “I was looking for some things here myself. In the upcoming musical I’m producing I have a great need for some props and costume pieces. May as well use the reimbursement fund!”

He shuffled around until he found some rather disturbing naked clown jugs. Considering, he scooped four cheaply priced ones into his cart and turned to Sinter. “Is your moirail closer to the entertainment sect or the enforcement sect?” He questioned. Being the unofficial dramaturg for the production meant learning an unfortunate deal about juggalos – certain trolls were more suited to whimsy, others evangelism, others subjugation. Imagine.

The crowds in this place were... Insane. Aandes shoved his way past a militant looking blueblood with no remorse, taking a bit of damage to his pride as a squirty flower was shot in his direction.  

[seekingCylem]

HP: 11/20
Small Presents: 0
Medium Presents: 4
Large Presents: 1

"That's right!" Sinter exclaimed in genuinely surprising burst of memory. "I remember catching wind of a new upcoming Cygnet performance." Sinter steadfastly avoided mention of just how closely he'd gotten to following Odette's career. Revelation of her character had only added a layer of awkwardness to the near-sweeps of disdain he'd built up for her in his bilesac.

"I'm afraid I'm woefully uninformed on theater production, given my background..." Sinter trailed off as his gaze fell on the jugs Aandes was appraising. "...As I'm similarly uninformed in the quality of these products. However less regrettably so..."

Sinter grabbed a set of his own, mostly because Aandes seemed to find value in them.

"Passionate as Tamiya is for the arts, she's more... gifted I suppose you could say in areas of enforcement. Admittedly with the subjectivity of the mirthful arts, she could possibly be some kind of theater savant and I wouldn't know."

"Has working in the entertainment industry put you in much contact with Juggalos?"

Sinter acquires 4 medium presents!

 

[Sypon]

HP: 10/20
Presents: 4 medium, 1 large

“Yes! It’s not exactly under wraps so I’m happy to plug it shamelessly to you,” Aandes laughed. He deftly avoided a passerby trying to grab at the jugs, his mouth curling only halfway into its usual disdainful grimace. All of this strategic dancing and shoving was doing a number on his poise. He rubbed the back of his neck. The buzzing around the store was easy to block out with Sinter around - and if one thing was true he was no fighter, but at least he could shop.

“I’m certainly no singer or dancer, but I can produce the best! I’ll drop you a ticket or two when we premiere.” He shot him a wink. “I’ve been a bit closer to the faith since taking on the production, just for the sake of representation and making sure everything is square with the… group.”

Group? Cult? There was only a slight hesitation in Aandes’ phrasing, but just enough that his intent slipped through. Yikes. “It’s primarily a military based show, not so much on-world subjugglation or anything. We may be starring some mirthful acrobats though – the high top arts are really spectacular if not sometimes highly offputting.”

He browsed. “Oh, here’s a tent-in-a-can. I’ve seen these things blow up to enormous sizes, so it’s actually super convenient for a non-juggalo. Except sometimes they pack glitter into these things too… Yeesh.” Aandes pawed at the present. This could actually be a good gift, though not practical for the musical in any sense. “I might get one of these… Though I am admittedly less outdoorsy than I used to be.”

He frowned. With a shitty knee and a body on the mend, Aandes was… A little bit bitter. It was a constant reminder now, as he was squished between his cart and the wall with nothing but a pyramid of tent-in-a-cans to contend with.  

[seekingCylem]

HP: 6/20
Small Presents: 0
Medium Presents: 7
Large Presents: 1

Like any reasonable troll, Sinter had come to the shopping center fully armed. While the presence of a sword at his hip served as an effective theft-deterrent and shin-striker of those that would encroach on Sinter's personal space, it made navigating narrow store aisles a huge pain. Sinter rapidly and fumblingly calculated whether he was narrower shuffling sideways or straight ahead while he tried to keep pace with Aandes. Their conversation provided a blessed distraction for Sinter as he found himself tangled in a rack of oversized coats.

"Would you?" Sinter lit up at the prospect of attending such a highly sought-after show. It was a highly sought-after show starring someone he knew, and produced by someone he knew and liked. Sinter briefly considered who he'd take. Tamiya was an obvious choice, but perhaps obvious to the point of concern. An Odette-centric outing with Tamiya might be a bit much. There was no doubt she'd procure her own tickets, if she hadn't managed to strong-arm a set into existence already.

Sinter felt an odd chill. Perhaps a new coat would be nice.

"Oh yes! Definitely check the materials on those. I hear not all of them are sun-proof. The last way you want to go out is smothered by a melted clown tent on a camping trip."

Sinter acquires 3 medium presents!

 

[Sypon]

HP: 5/20
Presents: 4 medium, 2 large

He'd spent a lot of his time on these strange props and big, impractical items. Shoving a clown out of the way, Aandes mused to Sinter. "That is an incredibly good point. That would be a special kind of hell."

The parachute-esque material of the tents was gaudy enough for his set and costume designers to be inspired. The additional can wouldn't hurt, after all. As he reached for it, a few additional hands grasped out from near the floor (having wiggled their way beneath his cart). Aandes had the higher ground. He stomped on a couple of the hands, barked a warning at the rest and deposited the can into his cart.

"Don't mind me for prying, but are you shopping for any other quadrants or just your moirail?"  

[seekingCylem]

HP: 2/20
Small Presents: 0
Medium Presents: 7
Large Presents: 2

Sinter continued to regard the pyramid of canned tents. You really could never have too many of these things. Durable as they were, the chances of hosting a guest with tall horns or a sharp-ended lusus were high enough to consider backups. He added another can to the basket, grunting at the dense weight on his arm.

He looked up at Aandes with a sliver of surprise. The thought of even having other quadrants was alien to Sinter, but he supposed after a brief moment, that it was a normal enough question. "No, no..." he chuckled. "I'm unspoken for in all quadrants but pale. Haven't been able to find much time for expanding my dating circles in recent history." Sinter shrugged lopsidedly beneath the weight of his basket and his own discomfort. He hoped that didn't sound too... lame.

"Ah... What about you? Is tonight's shopping all business?"

Sinter acquires 1 large present!

 

[Sypon]

HP: 0/20
Presents: 3 small, 4 medium, 2 large

"Ah...!" Aandes remarked. He turned his head away and pretended to occupy his thinkpan with some red clown noses. It wasn't like they were particularly interesting, but he had to mask the mint flush that he felt rise on his cheeks somehow. And he just... Had to compare prices. A few huge trolls slammed past the two of them to get to good deals, and it was enough to jar Aandes back into the present.

"Well, that's totally understandable. Trolls like us with lots of climbing and working to do are pretty tight. Not to mention socializing is kind of my job, so it's hard to separate business and... Not business." Hardly articulate. Aandes scratched his ear and finally decided to put the damn red noses in his cart. Of course, the wind was totally taken out of him when Sinter asked about his quadrants.

"I've, ah..." He trailed off. s**t. Caught off guard. Rasali, his kismesis, was technically acting as his matesprit. But... The word caught in his throat. For whatever reason he couldn't bring himself to mention it, no matter how hard he tried. "I'm on a rebound right now on all fronts, unfortunately," he choked out - hoping that his reluctance would sound like regret and that the green tone of his features was registered as embarrassment.

"So, just business. I, um, think I got everything I need here. What else do you need?"

Gog, get him out of this place.  

[seekingCylem]

HP: -2/20
Small Presents: 0
Medium Presents: 11
Large Presents: 2

Sinter examined the bin of red noses with a critical eye, but said nothing. It was easy enough to distract himself with trying to listen to Aandes and also not get crushed. "True, true. I suppose I have the benefit of not needing to actively pursue the spotlight. Ah... Metaphorically. Or not..? I mean, no one is actively putting their trust in me so much as they are the idea of me. Your standard, helpful redblood. Less pressure on establishing my identity." Sinter cast a cautious glance over at Aandes to make sure he wasn't stepping out of line in his assumptions. As much as Sinter craved respect, he wouldn't have taken on a job as publicly-scrutinized as Aandes' if he'd been held at trident-point.

Sinter cast Aandes a sympathetic look at his admission to being quadrantless. "There's no shame in that--especially with how many irons you've got in the fire. I'm sure you'll have fans of your own after your production goes live." Sinter smiled. "Who knows! An industrious troll like you may well already have rivals and admirers. You perhaps just haven't noticed what with all the priority juggling."

Sinter straightened from where he'd been leaning against the aisle in a futile attempt to stay out of the way. His back creaked miserably. As he steadied himself, his eye caught a set of upsettingly adorable barkbeast plushes. Sinter's face burned and he quickly swept them all into his basket--arm-wrenching weight of it all be damned. "I'm set. Or at least I should be. Let's get out of here before I impulse buy a tank of helium and cripple myself entirely."

Sinter acquires 4 medium presents!

 

[Sypon]

“Right. Well hey, you’re Sinter to me. You’ve got some huge globes and you’re super sharp. So long as you never sell yourself short, who cares what other people think?” Aandes suggested. He added mentally that using that against them is an excellent manipulation tactic, but for the sake of friendly conversation decided to cut that bit out. The greenblood hesitated for a moment, but put a hand on Sinter’s arm. Only a moment later he drew back and went back to itching behind a horn.

“Thanks, though. I’m definitely ready to get out of here and not have to listen to any more horn honking for the rest of the sweep. You want to get something to eat?” He smiled. Hoping that he wasn’t being too presumptuous.  

[seekingCylem]

Aandes seemed to brighten slightly, which in turn put Sinter further at ease. He beamed at the praise, and managed to return to his full height despite the strain of his purchases. "Thank you. That means a lot."

With that, Sinter hefted his basket awkwardly into both hands to balance the weight. "Absolutely. I'm prepared to eat one holiday baked good for every time I've been subjected to a rendition of 'Hroduf: the Red-Snouted Snorty Antlerbeast' this evening." Sinter rolled his eyes, but smiled, albeit tiredly. "They'd better give me some kind of holiday discount."

And with that, Sinter pushed ahead towards the register.